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I used plug trainers with my gf. It took awhile but with a lot of lube she started to enjoy it.
Yeah, you definitely should start with flared buttplugs. Start small and work your way up. There's some starter kits out there. (It's very important that the base is flared so you won't end up at the hospital again if it gets stuck.)
A little alcohol can help, but don't do too much because you'll want to make sure you don't ignore any serious pains. I always strongly recommend a safe word!
First, read this infographic:
Now, consider investing in a butt plug trainer kit. I recommend Real Vibes 4 piece Starter kit. It's under $20 on Amazon. Here
Once you've gotten comfortable with the biggest size, invest in a silicone, rubber, or glass dildo:
Silicone:
Pros: - Durable - Can be hypoallergenic - Very flexible/feels real
Cons: - cannot be used with Silicone lube - not very rigid
Rubber:
Pros: - economical - firm - feels somewhat real
Cons: - rubber odor and chemical taste - deteriorates quicker - difficult to clean
Glass:
Pros: - easy to clean - odorless/tasteless - durable
Cons: - rigid/inflexible
Get some toys, and play around. Something like these https://www.amazon.com/Comfortable-Long-Term-Silicone-Training-Beginners/dp/B07RK98NH6/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=butt+plug+trainer+kit&qid=1611907747&s=hpc&sr=1-1
and a dildo. And some lube, but not silicone lube.
I started on the smallest size in the kit. And I got it at a sex shop in my city. But I just looked it up on Amazon
Now. I can bottom pretty well after practice and patience and getting used to things being in my ass. But that third size still doesn't go in my ass. I feel like they skip the large size and go to XL lol
Small or larger, still comes out. Small ones go in like a glove but always end up falling out. Bigger ones will go in with a little help but still fall out. This. https://www.amazon.com/Trinity-Vibes-Fill-er-up-Piece-Purple/dp/B0084FXAQE
Avoid any anal desensitizers! Anal relaxers are totally okay (I’ll recommend Intimate Earth’s Adventure) and may help ease her into things. Personally, I didn’t use any of that, I used good ole fashioned lube, and an anal training kit. I linked the one I used below, but my honest recommendation is to go to your local sex shop and get just a standard kit.
https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B01A2JHXK8?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
You should start with something that feels good but that you can work your way up from. My very first toy (aside from stuff around the house like pencils) was a butt plug training kit. This isn't the exact set but it's close, and it's not very expensive.
Once you work your way up to the biggest one, you can move on to other toys like dildos or rimming plugs.
Here you go, slut 😘
Real Vibes Butt Plug & Anal Plug Prostate Massager Enema Kit with Suction Cup & Anal Lube for Anal Dildo | 4 Pack Anal Toy (Kit with 4.5g Lube) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B015TLFTNM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glc_fabc_4hu2FbQEJES27
Here's the one that I use, but I'm not OP.
Been using them since November of 2015 and they're very amazing, the big one is roughly the thickness of a dildo. The other two are small enough you can probably scale to them easily in the first session. Super easy to clean, just soap and water.
And here's an Amazon Best Sellers list for you to pick through.
I got this exact set from Amazon and I have been very pleased with them. The size increase seems very reasonable, they are nice silicone, and they have a very wide base so you'll never worry about them getting sucked in, so to speak. That wide base is also a downside though. I have a huge ass, so the wide base really pushes into my cheeks, so it's not comfy for long-term wear. I think they've definitely helped. I am more relaxed when I insert anything anally, and I feel comfortable enough looking to upgrade to other toys.
Lube, lube, lube and warming yourself (and the plugs!) up are key.
I managed to grab this buttplug set on a steal from Amazon when I first started with anal play (they bundled it with a $10 lube bottle for free, but took $10 off twice :v )
Otherwise, I don't have specific suggestions for plugs, so can't help much with better/bigger ones. I will say that it's worth spending some time to do research into materials and lubes--silicone is a safe bet, and if using silicone, keep with water-based lubes. Reapply the lube every 1-2 hours for long-term wear; you can probably make do with shorter but I like to lean on the safe side...
I don't know where my bf got his ballgag from, unfortunately. :(
However this ballgag does look potentially promising? I'd be a bit wary since it seems to be a newer product with maybe (?) some sketchy/fake reviews.
Searching google for "site:reddit.com ballgag review" or "recommendation" etc. might be good too.
I mentioned Amazon only because BD was my first dildo and it was too big for myself. If you already have some experience with "regular" ones i think you can forgo going with Amazon and get a BD. If not though, i do recommend getting some butt plugs. They usually come in packs of three in different girths and they help a whole ton with warm-up stretching before taking on bigger stuff. Plus they help when deciding on sizes i.e. if what you can comfortably take is a 1.8 inch wide plug, then you can use that to somewhat determine what to get on the BD site.
Small vs. Medium really depends. I cant help much there since everyones body's are just so different.
In terms of firmness, i'd say it more so depends on the shape of the toy. The thinner it is, the more trouble you may have trying to get it in or staying put/upright. E.g. the Rex in soft cannot stand on its own and is super floppy. If i had to do it again i'd get it in firm base and medium shaft. But my soft Chance is pretty decent and the softness does help squish the head on entry. All in all, if you are absolutely unsure about it, Medium is the way to go. Its a jack of all trades but it does well with a whole ton of them.
I hope it wasn't too tmi, its just i wish someone told me all this before going in myself lmao. I kinda screwed up my body in a bad way because i went all gunz blazing. Definitely need to go slow and steady, start small, etc. If you already have some experience though youre definitely ahead of me!
Have fun and good luck! And i'd be happy to help if you have any more q's.
edit: just noticed those plugs are out of stock. But they're all the same more or less.
She has to be active and in control. There needs to be loads of prep before the penis gets a shot. lots of fingering with lots of lube and progressively add fingers until three or four are no longer hard to handle. Another little tip? It seems counter intuitive, but if she bears down and out like she is trying to push out the biggest poop ever as you are applying pressure to her anus with your glans, you may just pop right in without too much resistance. If the 30 minutes or more of fingering doesn't help, you may need to buy some different sized anal plugs to help her "train" to be able to take you. Something like this: http://www.amazon.com/Trinity-Vibes-Piece-Trainer-Purple/dp/B00AU8HZ0U/ref=sr_1_13?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1441686889&sr=1-13&keywords=anal+trainers
I'd go with something like that for starters with some silicone lube.
Something like this with a T-base is much more comfortable since it fits in between your cheeks better than ones with round bases. It is better for wearing around town. Anal Plug
Buttplugs are not good for anal training except for using one larger that you can fit to widen your sphincter without actually putting it in all the way.
Instead I recommend you get one like or similar to this.
https://www.ebay.com/itm/232827018132
You use it to gradually and slowly stretch your sphincter for example while touching or perhaps watching a movie. A buttplug won’t stretch your sphincter while in place and when you actually want to put something in it does not matter if you have “only” stretched the inside.
If you want to be able to take larger stuff fast invest also in a dilator kit like this one.
This will train both inside and outside and meant to be simply put in place and left there for your body to get used to it.
After stretching remember you can’t just go straight to anal sex even if putting it in now is easy. It also takes a while for your ass to get used to thrusting. Take a small dildo and start slow and go faster and if does not hurt keep increasing the size.
Take it slow since going fast and pushing to hard equals pain and often ruptures that can hurt like a bitch and keep you of anything anal for a couple of days. Using to large of a buttplug showing it in and out will get u hurt so once again stay away from buttplug when it comes to training your ass.
It’s from a training kit we got on Amazon. Plug Kit Link on Amazon
Thanks for the well thought out reply!! Really appreciate it. Unfortunately I work tomorrow and I’m at work right now, so we have to wait to really sit down and talk about things.
I’m curious, have you used any textured toys? The first training set I got for myself, it was traffic cone shaped, that’s the best way to describe it. I didn’t much care for it honestly. So I suggested starting with fingers and either trying this kit or this kit…
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RK98NH6/ref=cm_sw_r_api_i_W2HZYVGYDYAR1GDAD0FN_0
Not really. There is such a huge variety in material, size, and shape that you need to something that is fun.
Just be aware that not everything out there is a safe product in any scenario. In the case of buttplugs: If you plan to wear it for longer periods of time, get one that has no chance of getting lost in your butt.
And by longer times I mean anything that is not you actively playing with it. I had one of those and was sitting on a cushioned chair when suddenly something felt off. Luckily I grabbed the immedialy after it vanished, otherwise it would've been a hassle with ER digging it up.
In general: Everything where the cross section of the base is not significantly wider than the thickes part of the plug is not safe for "unattended" wear.
I say cross section bc the base does not have to be round. A "strip" works usually better than a full round base bc it is more comfortable while wearing.
These two are good long-term wear examples. Not endorsements, I do not own either.
I got my kitten the training set linked below. For long term wear I think you generally want one where the handle will settle comfortably between the cheeks, as opposed to the more decorative ones with the jeweled base. Those jewels can become irritating over time. Additionally a softer material like silicone is more forgiving than metal. You just have to remember to pay attention to your lube. You cannot use silicone based lube with silicone toys.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08FSSMYZ5?psc=1&ref=ppx\_yo2ov\_dt\_b\_product\_details
First and most important: If you do not want to do this don't do it.
If you are game to try though, make sure you have lube, careful what you eat the day of 'The Event'. Like avoid corn for instance.
Before you try this you should do some light non penetrative ass play to get you stimulated and see if you enjoy that. Finger play to see if you enjoy being penetrated. If all that is ok then get one of these kits and practice for a week or two.
I researched and purchased these.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AU8HZ0U/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
What I found with standard butt plugs it that the top/head of the plug is large, but the bottom/neck part is still small. You can get past the larger part and then the muscles are relaxed around the smaller part. Good if you want to wear a plug, but not if you are trying to stretch/relax the sphincter muscles. These work because the neck is also larger and actually stretches. Medical advice says that you only need to insert and leave these in for 30-90 sec. to stretch and relax. Like others have suggested, I like to start with #2 (1-5, smallest to largest), leave it in for 5 mins, move up to #3 for another 5 mins. That is enough for me to take a dildo that is just bigger than the #3 plug. I have tried #4, it takes a bit more work but I didn't get much more out of it. #1 is a tiny joke, #5 is for people with serious goals. Personally I could toss 1 and 5 in the trash and not miss them.
Amazon has an anal training set (hate the name) that is three different sized curved anal plugs. The medium size (for me) really hits the prostate well and stays in during PIV sex with no problem.
And the set is like $16.
Well, I can only speak from personal experience so keep that in mind. If I just want to poke a finger at my asshole while I masturbate then that's not so bad. But to reach the P spot you have to get inside a few inches so I kind of have to bend my torso a lot, which is doable, but it isn't very comfortable and makes masturbation less pleasurable. Maybe I'm just not that flexible. Who knows?
I use something like this. So you just put it in and relax. In this set, the smallest one should be just fine for you. You can graduate to the bigger ones later if you want or if the small one doesn't hit the right spot. Just be sure to lube it up really good and practice relaxing your sphincter when you push it in. Once it's in it won't fall out so you're good to go. Use it while you masturbate or under your clothes while you're hanging out at home. No one will know you're wearing it.
Regarding stretching, that's not really the issue. Your anus already stretches a lot when you poop. It's more learning not to resist and object being inserted. You natural tendency is to clench which isn't what you want. The best advice I got was to actually try to push it out like your pooping (assuming your bowels are empty, of course). This naturally relaxes the sphincter and it should be easier to slide it in. I know if seems counterintuitive, but it works.
Well, I can only speak from personal experience so keep that in mind. If I just want to poke a finger at my asshole while I masturbate then that's not so bad. But to reach the P spot you have to get inside a few inches so I kind of have to bend my torso a lot, which is doable, but it isn't very comfortable and makes masturbation less pleasurable. Maybe I'm just not that flexible. Who knows?
I use something like this. So you just put it in and relax. In this set, the smallest one should be just fine for you. You can graduate to the bigger ones later if you want or if the small one doesn't hit the right spot. Just be sure to lube it up really good and practice relaxing your sphincter when you push it in. Once it's in it won't fall out so you're good to go. Use it while you masturbate or under your clothes while you're hanging out at home. No one will know you're wearing it.
I really like this plug set. Small isn’t of much use, medium takes me to super o’s sometimes, large is on the big side for me personally but can also be fun at times.
I really enjoy the medium one when having sex with the wife. It hits the spot perfectly and stays in without any effort. You can really relax and go to town and enjoy the sensations without thoughts of it coming out. I’ve (only once) had multiple back to back wet orgasms while having sex with it in. Hoping that someday I’ll find that magic again.
https://www.amazon.com/Comfortable-Long-Term-Silicone-Training-Beginners/dp/B07RK98NH6
Ones like these with wide bases so you get used to the stretch… Works like a charm!
Plugs definitely help! I used this set https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AU8HZC8?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
The thick necks keep you stretched, but you need a thong to make sure they don't slip out. The largest one is MASSIVE but allows my domme to peg me with her biggest strap.
Pic with tomato for scale. https://imgur.com/a/nGBoi09
these. buy this. use only water based lubricants. i like to use a plastic syringe for lubing inside and using a dildo to train the hole before popping it in. you can find those alongside the enema bulbs on amazon, as well. if you prefer to shop elsewhere, i dont blame you, but these are what i recommend for long term plug play. i can work a day job with the largest one now.