Furiously Happy from Jenny Lawson. I laughed so hard and reccomend it to anyone who is looking for a good book.
Here's an Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/Furiously-Happy-Funny-Horrible-Things-ebook/dp/B00V37BC4C
Lunesta really should be doing something for you. My suspicion is that you started with too low a dose for the problem you're facing. Zquil and trazodone make you groggy all day; I wouldn't recommend those. I think the most effective medicine is zaleplon though.
Don't drink caffeine at all. Some will say avoid it in the afternoons. But it really persists in your system. If you have anxiety problems, the caffeine will keep you up long after the lift you felt is gone.
Keep in mind that there are two types of anxiety. One is conscious, the other is unconscious. You can have both at the same time. CBTi is best for the conscious type, though it may ultimately burrow down to your subconscious. Exercise or saunas work pretty well on the unconscious type, though by the time it keeps you up at night, it's a little late to go exercising.
Some foods can disturb sleep. Alcohol is terrible; it always wakes me up after a short time asleep. High carb foods will also wake me up if I've eaten them for dinner. Ice cream, who knows why, will create a very buzzy feeling that is very close to that created by my unconscious anxiety.
Take a look at this book. It does a good job at defining anxiety.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00QG5SW58/
Also, daylight synchronization is important. Daylight helps your body time its melatonin pulse which contributes to the feeling of needing to sleep. Dawn is the most powerful time of day to reinforce daylight synchronization. The human eye is particularly sensitive to picking up daylight signals at that time.
I know getting up in the morning is awful. I too became a night owl as an adult. But now I realize that playing to my tendency to stay up late is not helpful.
Yeah it sounds like pretty classic contamination OCD. It probably would be best to see an OCD specialist because OCD can change and evolve on you, the theme really isn't that important. At the end of the day, the harder you fight this the deeper you will go down with your OCD. The way out is to accept uncertainty, maybe you got spit on you maybe not, and go about your life.
If you saw an OCD specialist they would do ERP with you, which stands for Exposure and response prevention. So in essence, you are exposed to something you fear. (Being spit on or being dirty) and then you do not perform any compulsions. You work on stopping rumination and you do not clean yourself. This is you telling your brain that these thoughts are not useful and the anxiety eventually subsides. Meditation will help decoupling the thoughts from what is actually real, but as you can see it's only a small part of the puzzle.
Freedom from OCD is a good place to start to learn about what is actually going on. Battling OCD is something that is that seems super daunting, and requires a fair amount of learning and research, but once you are outside of the hole it seems much easier than it seemed in retrospect.
This is a great book for dealing with anxiety: https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
This an excellent, excellent book:
Feeling Great: The Revolutionary New Treatment for Depression and Anxiety, by David D. Burns
https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
Edited: forgot the book link. https://www.amazon.com/Rewire-Your-Anxious-Brain-Neuroscience-ebook/dp/B00QG5SW58/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1537210835&sr=8-1&keywords=rewiring+your+anxious+brain This book has some great exercises, it's helped me a lot and I highly recommend. Also just plain meditating. Research has shown it can shrink the amygdala by up to 30%! I use this app to help me meditate: https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app?__hstc=249974297.341d0a87cecde931187b544fed73e3bf.1536192003170.1536192003171.1536192003172.1&__hssc=249974297.2.1536192003173&__hsfp=2025384311
I bought a bunch of books from Amazon UK and found this one to be the best:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anxiety-Worry-Workbook-Cognitive-Behavioral-ebook/dp/B00FOT65TC
I've used it for job interviews and presentations. It's a bit of a hassle doing the exercises. But they do target each stage/aspect of social anxiety, in a logical way and I find it helps calm down my overactive amygdala and reduce post event rumination.
I'm not a fan of the "Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness" by Gillian Butler that most UK therapists recommend.
Here is one written by actual mental health professionals. You can also use gradual exposure therapy to gradually do more and more scary social things and gradually get more comfortable.
https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Acceptance-Workbook-Anxiety-Commitment-ebook/dp/B0197SJPYC
I can relate to your situation. I was living with my mom in my late 20s. I didn't date much at all in high school, feel deeply in love my freshman year of college, got dear Johnned by her the last month of my mission, was depressed for years after.
You are not too old for anything. There are plenty of women are are single in our religion, if you haven't heard. There is a mismatch of LDS singles, with more women than men, so that's in your favor.
You have some very big plusses. You have a good job and good degrees. You are LDS.
And you only need to find one person to marry. So it doesn't matter how many others don't work out.
It seems like you need two things. The first is counseling, because the following is distorted thinking, my friend:
"I feel like the women I'm interested in would never be interested in me, in fact no one would be."
"it's too late to try and make something of my life"
The following book explain clearly about cognitive distortions and how to stop doing them: Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
The second thing you need is help with your dating game. Maybe a counselor or a dating coach for this.
If you know any people who can help, that would be great, too? Do you have any female cousins or other relatives you could talk to, to get advice and feedback about dating?
Join groups of people who share the same hobbies you do, or volunteer service groups, etc. These are places to find women who you might get to know.
Don't give up. Keep working on improving yourself and following God's commandments, and no matter what happens you will live a good and meaningful life. God wants you to be happy - find out the path that will lead you to that.
This is the one I used in the past: https://www.amazon.com/Managing-Social-Anxiety-Workbook-Cognitive-Behavioral-ebook/dp/B07Z88KKXK
Hello!Right now I am going through a similar situation as you and as you mentioned in your post it only applies to some aspects of my life and makes it very hard to keep up with this way of thinking.Yesterday I finished listening to an audiobook called "How to be an Imperfectionist" by Stephen Guise which suggests a number of practices you can do daily,according to what fuels your perfectionism,in order to overcome this problem.I think it is worth checking out!Here is the link:https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Imperfectionist-Self-Acceptance-Perfectionism-ebook/dp/B00UMG535Y?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_dls_failed I hope I helped you in some way.
Studying the gospel, reading scriptures, and reminding myself about the big picture (the plan of salvation) helps me a lot.
Seek the Spirit. It is the Comforter.
Since it sounds like you feel you are significantly affected, I would also find a good counselor.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
I'm sorry to hear of your challenges.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
Since it sounds like you feel you are significantly affected, I would find a good counselor.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
Negative thoughts like depression are usually caused by distorted/irrational thoughts.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
It sounds to me like you might be depressed. Since it sounds like you feel you are significantly affected, I would find a good counselor.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
Simple be probably mean to be present in this moment. Let go of past things and let go of worry about the future. Right now is the only time you are actually living and can do anything. Look up mindfulness if you want to know more.
Anxiety comes from your thoughts. The following book has greatly helped me and my family with anxiety:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
You still have your whole life ahead of you. Let the past go and have faith in your future.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend she go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with anxiety:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
I'm sorry you are going through this.
Since it sounds like you feel you are significantly affected, I would find a good counselor.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
It sounds like you are feeling challenged in many areas. I think early twenties is a time that many people kind of try to figure out who they are and where they are going.
Maybe it would help to see a counselor?
As far as all the world problems - yes. But the news also gives a very distorted picture of reality. They show you the few worst things that happened that day and the biggest problems in the world. Meanwhile, 7 billion other people quietly went about their business that day, being basically good people.
For depression and anxiety, The following book has greatly helped me and my family:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
Since it sounds like you feel you are significantly affected, I would find a good counselor.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
If you are feeling suicidal, call a suicide hotline. Google it.
I would find a good counselor.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
From what I remember that a counselor once told me, the main thing to know is if he has made a plan to kill himself. If so, he needs to go to a hospital and get help - but I don't know how to force that.
It's tough when people don't see that they need to seek help. I would yourself call a suicide hotline or talk to your doctor or a counselor - see what advice they can give, as far as what you can do to help, and what the option are.
In the movies someone makes a call and people in white coats show up to take the person to treatment. I don't know if that happens in real life, though.
Is he willing to read self-help books? Maybe you could find some for him.
Something that might help: Ask, "Are you really so afraid to face X, that you would rather instead die to avoid it?"
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
Since it sounds like you feel you are significantly affected, I would find a good counselor.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
It sounds like you haven't yet figured out what you want from life. What do you really care about? What are you passionate about? What is your dream?
One way to help find this out: What would you do if you had millions of dollars and didn't have to work? What would be meaningful to you?
Since it sounds like you feel you are significantly affected, I would find a good counselor.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
Since it sounds like you feel you are significantly affected, I would find a good counselor. A doctor can also give you some pills to help you sleep.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with obsessive thoughts, anxiety, and depression:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
If you are open to it, you might also learn what Zen has to teach. It talks a lot about accepting reality and letting go of things. It's not really a religion so much as a philosophy of how to live your life. A Zen monk named Thich Nhat Hanh is a popular author. Here are some of his books you might want to check out: The Art of Living; and Peace Is Every Step.
Since it sounds like you feel you are significantly affected, I would find a good counselor.
The following book has greatly helped me and my family with anxiety:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/
The The following book has greatly helped me and my family with dealing with worrying:
Feeling Great, by David Burns, MD, https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Great-Revolutionary-Treatment-Depression-ebook/dp/B08FRSQHFP/
I recommend you go through the book, but the gist is negative feelings are often caused by distorted thinking. Here's a short explanation on his website - https://feelinggood.com/2014/01/06/secrets-of-self-esteem-2-negative-and-positive-distortions/