Please study the distinctiveness of baptist covenant theology before deciding whether paedobaptism is proper. A great resource is Pascal Denault's The Distinctiveness of Baptist Covenant Theology. I linke to amazon but you can find it cheaper at other stores online, I think.
https://www.amazon.com/Distinctiveness-Baptist-Covenant-Theology-Revised/dp/1599253666
As my flair indicates, please check out Denault's The Distinctiveness of Baptist Covenant Theology before emptying the baptismal.
The Westboro Baptist Church is notorious for protesting outside of funerals, for pretty much everybody. I've been listening to Megan Phelps' book about leaving WBC and it is really good.
In my very early stages of falling away, I listened to Megan Phelps-Roper's memoir, Unfollow. Of all my experiences up until then, that was the most terrifying period of my life. I lost everything that gave my life hope and purpose, with nothing else in place to fall back on except what I knew to be fleeting and continuously diminishing hedonism. I still struggle with managing life without an apparent prescribed purpose, but Megan's book really helped back then to still my thoughts. It was comforting for me just to know that there was at least one other person on the planet who saw the sadistic character of God in the Bible as repulsive and unworthy of affection. Also, I will add that she self-narrates the Audible book, which was extremely helpful for me in the catatonic catharsis I experienced as I was leaving. She is very easy to listen to and paces the content well.
I listened to Megan Phelps-Roper's autobiography during the early stages of my departure from Christianity, which was nothing short of an existential crisis. She narrates herself, and although I never shared the level of hatred for humans WBC demonstrates, her tone paired with her insider account was of great help to me in peeling back the layers of my own issues surrounding Christianity.
I recommend The Distinctiveness of Baptist Covenant Theology by Pascal Denault. It was very helpful for me because I knew I was covenantal, but wasn’t convinced of paedobaptism. He offers the 1689 view of covenant theology which is more nuanced and yet doesn’t fall into New Covenant Theology.
In <em>The Baptist Story</em>, Michael Haykin describes how in 1644 Mark Lucar came from London and joined John Clarke and the Newport Baptists, and shortly after the group adopted immersion as the mode of believer's baptism. Perhaps if you dig around you could find the letters of Lucar or Clarke, or maybe the minutes of that congregation if we have them.
You sound like the exact thing I went through (Except I'm a guy).
I wanted to suggest a book though. Based on what you're mentioning about religion it sounds like you may be part of the same cult/religion that my ex and her family were, and the same games they liked to play. If he is part of the IFB like I suspect (You may know own it by a different name) feel free to pm me and I can give you a heads up of what to expect them to try and how to fight them.
If you can get a copy, check out "I fired God", by Jocelyn Zichterman.
Also, my ex threatened many times to take my kids from me, she never succeeded and I now have full physical custody of them. So try not to despair, there is hope.
Do you have any recommended reading for your theological position? I would recommend The Distinctiveness of Baptist Covenant Theology, but for free, I would recommend the 1689federalism.com website
You may not be able to forgive yourself but God does!!! There is a link to a really good book below and if nothing else read the book description and the reviews. http://www.amazon.com/JESUS-TAKE-WHEEL-REWARDING-Surpasses-ebook/dp/B00V9A8U20/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1432838290&sr=1-1&keywords=jesus+take+the+wheel
My brother in Christ I am putting the decryption of a wonderful book I the you will find helpful.
When you realize you do not want to live your life as it is than let JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL (He has never had an accident) You’re about to discover how to: Live the happy, joy filled, and rewarding life that was intended for you.
Life is not easy sometimes, is it? In fact, it can get down-right messy. Even when life is not everything you want it to be, it would be better if you did not feel like you were on your own. Do you not agree? No one wants to be alone and the great news is that you are not...or rather you do not have to be. "Jesus Take the Wheel" gives you realistic answers as to how to give your life over to Jesus: why you even need to: and the benefits that come from doing so. Jesus is not Santa Claus or a genie that appears out of nowhere to give you three wishes. He is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIGHT. He does not promise a life without problems, but he does promise to be with you every step of the way as you and He deal with life’s problems. "Jesus Take the Wheel" takes you out of the driver's seat and lets you enjoy and grow into the person you were created to be.
Here Is A Preview Of What You Will Learn
Why We Worry
Why We Hold on to Grief
How To Deal With Money Problems
Why We Hold on to Anger
How To Let Go of That Grudge
How To Deal With Material Possessions
How To Deal With Relationships
And much more That every person needs when dealing with every day Life! LINK TO THE BOOK http://www.amazon.com/JESUS-TAKE-WHEEL-REWARDING-Surpasses-ebook/dp/B00V9A8U20/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1432828667&sr=1-1&keywords=jesus+take+the+wheel
Going to make a plug for this book again. It puts both views side by side and discusses the pros and cons of both. Extremely balanced and understandable. The single most helpful resource I have come across.
I have read it and I would say it had some problems, but I don't know what they are, if that makes sense. I am currently working through several Presbyterian essays on infant baptism, as well as this book. Looking forward to the conversation afterwards!
Spirit and Flesh by James Ault Jr.. I read it awhile ago; I enjoyed it, and it changed my perspective on fundamentalist christianity.
There's a pretty interesting book on the subject of how the dynamics all work to create entire churches, denominations and religions that are nothing more than havens for pedophilia and systematic abuse. You already know how this works but if your wife is still in recovery from religion she might like to take a look at it. Or if anything, you can recommend it to people when you are confronted with fanatics who just don't get it.
http://www.amazon.com/Schizophrenic-Christianity-Christian-Fundamentalism-Sociopaths/dp/0981471803/
"Using case study after case study of Independent Fundamental Baptist pastors accused, indicted, or convicted of child molesting, the author shows that these men continue to serve in the ministry unhindered. With surprising quotes from public leaders of Christian Fundamentalism such as the late Jerry Falwell, the author shows that many ultra-conservative Baptist churches grant their pastors total immunity and blame and isolate their victims instead. In easy to understand language, Massi explains the theology of American Christian Fundamentalism and shows how it has departed radically from historic Christian belief into a gender-based, externalized pietism that evaluates spiritual success in terms of numbers and political power. She paints a frightening picture of a religion gone horribly wrong, in which child molesters can easily pick up the lingo, amass a following, and hold themselves above accountability by merging into a system that refuses to police itself or institute rules of behavior for its clergy."
I am reminded of Michael Moore in Bowling for Columbine. He was a card-carrying NRA member, and I think that gave him some clout with Charleton Heston... until he totally humiliated the guy.
In reference to your plan of joining a church, the author of this book does just that. She doesn't bring about any kind of change, nor was that her goal, but it was more of a Jane Goodall type of thing (if you'll pardon the analogy). Interesting read though.