After traveling to Japan a couple of times I just couldn't go back to scraping my ass with dry paper like a filthy animal. I felt like a third-world savage using restrooms in Japan and reflecting on my own caveman-esque civilization back home. I bought a smart-toilet seat / bidet the second I got home. 250 dollars and the thing has a heated seat, press a button and it sprays you clean, oscillating function... You can adjust the water temperature and water pressure. Anywhere from a spittle to glorious paint-stripping power. The whole process is indescribably more comfortable and more hygienic. For the first couple weeks I'd give it one wipe afterwards to make sure there was no residual poo left in the area but it gets the job done EVERY SINGLE TIME. Without fail. The seat also has a drying function so I haven't used a single piece of toilet paper in months. If you don't have a couple hundred dollars to splurge on a high-tech life-changing toilet seat you can buy an attachment that is like the kitchen sink sprayer. I learned to use those in Thailand. I call it the ass-blaster. It isn't powerful enough to completely clean you but it severely reduces the amount of paper you need to use. The mix of water / paper is just so much cleaner. Think about it this way; if someone smeared poo on your arm, you wouldn't just scrape away at it with a dry piece of paper and call it clean.
EDIT: This is the model I bought if anyone is interested. Bio Bidet BB-600. I have friends who bought this same model and are happy with it as well. Toto is the gold-standard if you want to spend a little more. Happy to answer any further question in my quest to proselytize the paper-scrapers of the world and save the Canadian forests.
"if you stepped in dog poop in your bare feet, would you blot it with paper towel, or would you wash it off with water?"
$35 is a great start, and when you're ready for snobbish luxury...
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https://www.amazon.com/TOTO-SW2014-01-Electronic-SoftClose/dp/B0165UFOGS
> When I'm at home, I end with a wet wipe, and as such, am sure that I'm clean.
Get a bidet. It's well worth it. The initial cost is a bit much but it won't clog up the pipes (like wet wipes will) and you will save money over time. There are now the bidets you can add on to your already existing toilet.
I spent 2 weeks in Japan in January of this year. When I got back and all the Toilet Paper was disappearing I decided it was time to invest.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00UCIOWRM
Legit the best $350 I've spent in years. Always warm seat. Warmed water. Self-cleaning (the wand). Adjustable pressure. Pre-Mist. (So your shit doesn't stick to the back of the toilet bowl above water level) Slow-close lid. (never slams down)
You can get pricier ones that will heat the water. Like this one, will heat the water, has a seat warmer and and warm air dryer. So basically you could be in a tundra, but your ass will be in a warm tropical oasis.
The cheaper models will just connect to your regular water line (either both the hot and cold line or just the cold) so you'd be SOL. But wouldn't a spray of freezing water up your ol' bumhole be just the pick me up you need to get you going in the morning?
Smart bidet for the bathroom. Once you've been to Japan, you're gonna ~~want~~ need this in your home. We got a cheap one for just over $200 and it works really well.
Also, the seat is heated... mmmm!
I started with a basic one then recently after a good month of sales decided to splurge on the Bio Bidet BB-2000 Bliss Bidet (amazon link : https://www.amazon.com/BB-2000W-BioBidet-Bliss-Electric-Elongated/dp/B00GRM11R6 ). It ran about $650 but is worth every penny.
It has a remote that controls everything and is a great conversation starter when guests come over. They'll ask "Why does that remote in the bathroom have asses on it? " "Is your calculator broken?" Or "I think your toilet is haunted. I tried to change the channel in the bathroom and now my sinkhole is sparkly clean."
Another fun activity is sometimes I'll have the remote with me and when they're done spraying the bowl I'll just mash some buttins on the remote and get their opinion. Almost everyone loves it.
If you are able to/want to splurge, get this one. Warm seat, warm water, air dryer, easy to install/uninstall even if you are renting.
My friend bought this one on amazon and swears by it, however there are cheaper (non-heated) ones there that I’ve also seen with positive reviews on Reddit.
If you’re willing to splurge or when you’re ready for a major upgrade from a basic bidet you should get a bio bidet!
Amazon in the US!
We have this one - https://www.amazon.com/TOTO-SW2034-01-Elongated-Washlet-Cotton/dp/B00UCIOWRM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1484608204&sr=8-1&keywords=toto+bidet
Paired with this toilet - https://www.amazon.com/TOTO-Drake-Elongated-Cotton-White/dp/B0012HINC2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1484608240&sr=8-1&keywords=toto+drake+cotton+white
edit: not only is voltage and different but the toilet fittings are likely in metric so good luck with that. just use amazon and get the US version
This is the one I own, although any bidet from toto is generally amazing.
Seriously, once you get used to the heated seat (and heated water) normal toilets feel like savagery :D and it's not TOO much beyond the $100 price tag. I've had mine for at least 2 years, and it's like brand new with care. I aim to lug it with me for decades to come.
Also bonus feature I LOVE: You can simply just nudge the toilet seat down and it gently floats down. No more carefully placing the seat down all the way, just chuck that shit down
There isn't any higher risk than using a toilet or shower. Most people get an attachment to their toilet.
I recommend getting an electric seat than the cheap mechanical ones.
heated toilet seat and bidet! it's life changing.. you may never get off the toilet! think those Japanese toto toilets... ..but you can just get the heated seat and multiple models now on amazon:
Bio Bidet Ultimate BB-600 Advanced Bidet Toilet Seat, Elongated White. Easy DIY Installation, Luxury Features From Side Panel, Adjustable Heated Seat and Water. Dual Nozzle Has Posterior and Feminine Wash https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007HIKQCK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_s28fCbQV0SKRF
I use this one
Worth every penny I paid for it. It even comes with a remote.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00UCIOWRM/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 Toto's are, from what i looked up when i was looking into it, a really good brand. Installation is very easy. Has a cleaning option to clean wand, very easy to remove to clean under, etc.
> Also, you have a bidet? Or has it identified something it's calling a bidet?
Spent a few months in far east (Japan/Singapore/Hong Kong) two years ago. First thing I bought when I returned was one of these. Let me just say it doesn't get 4.5 stars on Amazon for nothing!
I bought this Kohler one several months ago and it's been great
oh man I know exactly which one to buy. After visiting japan who are probably kings of bidets I fell in love with a Toto brand toilet. If you have a costco, they actually have just lids that you replace on your toilet and its awesome. Otherwise buying a toto toilet is a lot more expensive. I do think its electronic though, but I've used normal bidets like that before and they just don't compare. Costco has the lids actually if you have that near you! Otherwise here's an amazon link https://www.amazon.com/TOTO-SW2044-01-Electronic-SoftClose/dp/B00UCIOX2Q (theres TONS of models. This ones quite pricey!)
Get yourself one of these toilet seats
There are cheaper ones around, I’ve only linked to that one to show you what I mean. The seat it heated and on a cold morning it is a gift.
If you have haemorrhoids this seat will change your lives.
And beyond that, you are old, you deserve it
Get a Japanese style electric one.. it moves for you. They're not that expansive either for what you get.
Something like this is life changing honestly.
I got the Toto Washlet C100. I did a decent amount of research for all the features I was looking for and it seemed to be the best choice. I’ve also found this exact bidet seat listed at different prices on multiple sites (I got mine cheaper than the link). There are even some “used” ones for sale but are still in the box and unopened.
My biggest piece of advice is to make sure it will be compatible with your bathroom set up and to check multiple sites for the best price.
This list helped me narrow down what features I wanted and how much I was willing to spend. Hope that helps!
Lol - $30! Literally the best money I’ve ever spent.
Veken Non-Electric Bidet, Self Cleaning Dual Nozzle (Bidet/Feminine Wash) Bidet for Toilet, Fresh Water Sprayer Toilet Seat Attachment with Adjustable Pressure Control https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07H2DWVMK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabt1_As-TFbTWGSACA
Hi, I got this one because 1. If the power goes out I still want to be able to use it 2. It was cheap 3. It's easy to install.
They're now back down to a normal price but I bought one for me and one for my parents when the price was double because all the crazy TP people were indirectly causing the bidet sales to increase.
But it's nice! Self cleaning, and gets my lady parts, I've never felt cleaner. At first my parents were like WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS but now they thank me for it on random occasions lol. $30 can't go wrong. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H2DWVMK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_uSHTFb7SQZ9S4
I don't own this specific one, but it's similar to mine. There are a lot more options on Amazon now then when we got ours over 6 years ago.
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Honestly, even if you don't need a colonoscopy I would recommend a seat like this, though you will never feel clean just using toilet paper again.
I have this one. It's one of the cheaper models of the more expensive type with heated water and seat and all that. It's great, if I have to use a different bathroom it's like taking cave man shits now.
You don’t need a sink nearby. The one I have has a ... can’t think of the word but it holds like a quart of water, and keeps it warm and ready for you. All the water comes out of the same toilet water “in” pipe.
I’ll edit soon with a link.
Edit1: The word is reservoir. It holds a reservoir of warm water.
Edit2: This is similar to what I have. It’s really easy to install yourself with no plumbing skill — just follow directions.
This is the one I bought - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UCIOWRM/ref=cm_sw_r_apanp_65AnXOA6zGAs5
As another commenter said, don't skimp on the upgrades, they really do make a huge difference. This is my second upgrade and I'm now wishing that I had gone with the luxury model becuase the reserve tank that holds the warm water does run out after a minute or two, and takes a few minutes to heat up again. I would recommend going with the luxury model if you can swing it. After I finish my own home build the one I have will go in the guest bathroom so I can have the luxury model in my master.
Also, if you are like me and practically gag at bathroom stink, the in bowl air filter is a God send. You'll never have to smell bathroom spray desperately trying to mask poo stink again!
Ever since my trip to Japan I have been slowly working to convert my friends and family to bidets so that I don't have to miss it when I go to visit haha!