The best Buddhism books: Reddit reviews

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

/u/everythingisforants, PM me if you're in the US and would like me to mail you, from Amazon, a copy of my favorite book about meditation. (Free, no strings attached.) :)

Edit: Wow, I didn't predict this enthusiastic of a response! I didn't list the name of the book because I wanted to offer a gift to someone, not be salesy. :)

The book is "The Mind Illuminated" by Dr. John Yates (Culadasa). There's a whole Reddit dedicated to the book at /r/TheMindIlluminated. Many of his students answer questions in the Reddit and offer assistance. Also check out /r/StreamEntry and /r/Meditation. If you're interesting in learning about the nature of suffering, the causes of suffering, and the way to end suffering, check out /r/Buddhism.

I don't think you need a book to learn how to meditate but getting good instruction is critical. Meditation is like any other skill—playing the piano?—without good instruction you have no guarantee of success. It can be the difference between sitting on the cushion for twenty years and not getting anywhere versus a decent chance of becoming enlightened withinin several years. A good teacher in person is best, but failing that a good book can be of great use... whether this one or several others. "The Progress of Insight" is also worth a read.

Edit part deux: Holy Inbox Batman!

I also just remembered that two of his students are teaching a 6-week video intro course online:

• Dates: January 8th - February 12th
• Time: Sundays 4:30 to 6pm Pacific Time (7:30 to 9pm Eastern)
• Cost: $150 (no one will be turned away due to inability to pay).

PM me if you want more details.

I see that you are a young man with an inquiring mind! I go into the five aspects of chaos in my book available for order here, as well as the 17 reasons why only tryhards choose Tau.

First book I ever read of his and a great introduction to the big ideas of Buddhism is The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching. Feels like he's speaking directly to you. https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Buddhas-Teaching-Transforming-Liberation/dp/0767903692

For me, two things.

First, meditation strengthened my ability to watch the process of a negative behavior or unwanted thought pattern unfolding in the first place. This is important. I was able to track the behavior back to a decision, the decision back to rationalization/bargaining with myself, and before that the initial temptation/craving, and ultimately, the start of it all - the wounds I was carrying that I had been leaving unmet, uncared for. If you learn to better observe how your own mental machinery works, then you can more easily tend to its inefficiencies and/or begin to reconfigure it entirely.

Second, meditation helped me to learn to slow down and really sit with those wounded and unheard parts of myself once I had become aware of them. This is critical. I can’t emphasize this enough - before you can bring about lasting change, you have to completely accept yourself exactly where you are. This may seem counterintuitive at first, but trying to “fix” unwanted behavior or trauma with “the will to change” will only bring disappointment and more frustration. The key is in learning to see and accept yourself just as you are, without self-criticism and the need to be “better”. Strangely, this frees you up to move forward in a healthy and honest way. I liken it to parenting - addressing a child’s behavioral problems or trauma with anger or urgent pressure to straighten up will only make matters worse. Instead, it’s best to listen, and meet them exactly where they are, and tend to their real wounds. We can do the same for ourselves.

That second point is pretty nuanced and there’s a lot to unpack, but Tara Brach said it better than I could in her book, Radical Acceptance.

This is a discussion, and criticism is a part of that, however, I went through art school, and work in an artistic career, and a crucial tool in learning how to make "better" art is getting and giving detailed critiques that offer explanations for WHY something is failing or succeeding, instead of just stating that it is good or bad.

So, for instance:

> massive dip in quality.

What do you mean by this? My guess is that you don't exactly mean quality as in it being poorly written, acted, structured, etc, but that you aren't laughing, so something is wrong with the humor. Something about the writing isn't making you laugh.

So, let's try to pin down what it is that you used to like about the show.

• What season was the strongest?
• What episodes worked for you?
• What scenes made you laugh the most?
• Looking at all the things that you listed, what do those things have in common?
• How do the episodes that you liked differ from the current episodes?
  

As a total aside, if you've never read "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", it's kind of related to this topic. It takes deep, perhaps overly so, dives into what we mean when we discuss the idea of "quality", and how it relates to all of our experiences, from relationships and love to machines and consumer products. Quote from it: > “The test of the machine is the satisfaction it gives you. There isn't any other test. If the machine produces tranquility, it's right. If it disturbs you, it's wrong until either the machine or your mind is changed.”

For me, it's a bit cheesey but after reading the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo, I truly felt that my life was changed. In total, I have tidied up my place twice, the first time only my clothes and the 2nd time, doing my entire apartment. Each time, I've felt a perspective change after. The biggest thing beyond tidying your house was how that book forces to confront your past decisions and change the way you make new ones. I try to do things that "spark joy" for me and this goes beyond shopping or spending money. Speaking of shopping, after you tidy, you are much more careful about buying new things, how you're spending your money and what you're bringing home. Once I finished my tidying festival, as Marie calls it, I was able to shift my focus on to more important things like FIRE and doing thigns in my life that sparked joy.

So...you're going to wait for a second slap? To whom? I bet that one will be "justified", too.

His POV is that if he's under stress, and someone (smaller and weaker than he) disrespects him, he gets to hit them. He said that to you and you are ignoring it. He used different words, but the meaning is clear.

What if it takes three years for him to haul off and belt (one of you) again? What good is all that time together then?

The lack of contrition is scary. "Working on it"...on your kids? If it were me, I'd let him 'work on it' with someone else's kids.

Change often sucks. Big, unexpected change sucks worse.

Wasted time is regretted much later. Just in case: When Things Fall Apart - Heart Advice For Difficult Times.

"Change is the only constant in life, if we could only see it." - ibid

I wish you Peace.

Oh God damn man. I'm so sorry. That is fucking tragic. I'm sorry you have to experience this op. Truly.

The girl I loved died a few years back. I wish I had good advice for you, but honestly I haven't handled it well at all so I really have no business doing that. Just want you to know you're not alone and it slowly gets a little better/easier. You're lucky you have your son. He'll help keep you together because you'll need to be. Hold him tight and cherish every moment.

Actually I do have a piece of advice. Please don't let this pain harden you. Harden your heart. Instead let it do the opposite. It might be harder in the short term but it'll save you so pain later on. Not to mention increase your capacity to love and care for your child.

Here's two books that that touch on that idea and really helped me, both by the same author, Pema Chodron, and I highly recommend them. They are both buddhist oriented books and concepts, but put forth in a very universally acceptable way. But that said, the rest of the core concepts of Buddhism itself have also helped me tremendously.

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1611803438

The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times https://www.amazon.com/Places-That-Scare-You-Fearlessness/dp/1611805961/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_1?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1611805961&pd_rd_r=1379392c-22e4-11e9-8739-9941e184f583&pd_rd_w=MOlQB&pd_rd_wg=vHSaZ&pf_rd_p=469620d9-3e90-496d-9...

I wish you nothing but the best op. Sending love to you brother. Stay strong. You're not alone.

Dullness is a recognized stage in mediation practice. If you are struggling with this, I would recommend The Mind Illuminated. It is a comprehensive guide to meditation that details ten stages leading to enlightenment. Dullness can creep in once you've established a regular practice and improved your ability to sustain focused attention. I have not progressed far enough to experience dullness or to learn how dullness is overcome, but it is one of the stages he discusses.

There are TONS of people who struggle with it. It's disappointing that she wasn't more understanding. I HIGHLY recommend, as a very first and cost effective step, reading Marie Kondo's book . It discusses the psychology and importance of a clean and tidy space. Her Netflix series is really great, but doesn't conquer the same issues as her book.

This book discusses the importance of a clean sink and the impact it has on everything else in your space! Good luck!!

This is excellent advice, u/firfetir and I hope you are open to exploring this stuff (especially the first point, befriending yourself).

​

I'll add a book I'm currently reading that may help in these areas: Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. She also has podcasts/ talks on her website. I highly recommend her!

So to recap, you were miserable --> moved 2,000 miles --> still miserable.

The problem is with you. Someone suggested counselling and that's a great idea.

See if this book resonates with you...
https://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/1401307787

Hi!

I own a fashion company focused on foundational wardrobe pieces. Here is a brief look at how I would build a capsule for myself:

1. List all the activities that you participate in. For example, work, gym, going out/nightlife, errand-running, specialty items (like formal wear or specific sports like skiing).
2. Think about the dress codes / how you want to dress for each category. For example, do you work in a “businesswear” office, but like to dress very casually on the weekends? You’ll need two separate wardrobes for this.
3. List out actual outfits (you own) per activity that a) You feel great in b) you like the style of
4. Think about what items you need to create more outfits like the ones you listed out above
5. Think about how many of those outfits you *actually* need based on how much stuff you want to own, the size of your housing space, how often you do laundry.
6. Purchase those items that you need.
7. It’s easiest to buy shapes that flatter you, in neutrals, that you can wear in a lot of different combos.
8. Check out The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up for more help - and/or reply t to this with additional questions - I can expand on the above!

For me, it was when I read "The life changing magic of tidying up" by Marie Kondo (Amazon link).

Which I found out about from some reddit post about the best way to fold a shirt or something.

Anyway, I realized that a lot of possessions didn't equate to happiness, and then used that as a litmus test when purchasing things. e.g. "Do I really want this? Will it make me happier? Will it just be momentary? What else could I do with that money?" Sometimes the answer is yes, but I spend much longer thinking about buying something rather than impulse buying now, because otherwise I'll be holding yet another item in 6 months time going "nah, this doesn't bring me any happiness" and throwing it out.

Hello I recommend The Heart of Buddha’s Teaching

It goes over the basic principles of Buddhism with fairly easy to read text 8/10 for beginners (this was my first Buddhist book) any other recommendations?

Bottling emotions is often a symptom of one feeling unsafe or disallowed to express feelings and needs.

Very common side effect of childhood trauma or relationship abuse.

Truly the book I recommend the most for nearly everything is a work by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron.

Entitled: When Things Fall Apart.

Its a short, deeply soulful read which I recommend to all my patients who are unable to move beyond a period of emotional constraint.

That’s just my small advice though.

Hope your day goes just lovely 🖤

Well, your question doesn't exhibit any cognizance of the main claims of the article.

Here's a literal quote that shows you that the article's claims come from Buddhist sources:

>“There was a monk in the Tang Dynasty of China who was practicing sitting meditation very hard, day and night. He thought he was practicing harder than anyone else, and he was very proud of this. He sat like a rock day and night, but his suffering was not transformed.
One day a teacher asked him, “Why are you sitting so hard?” and the monk replied, “To become a Buddha!” The teacher picked up a tile and began polishing it, and the monk asked, “Teacher, what are you doing?” His master replied, “I am making a mirror.” The monk asked, “How can you make a tile into a mirror?” and his teacher replied, “How can you become a Buddha by sitting?” (<em>The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching</em>, 99–100).

The point of the story is as simple as it is counter-intuitive: inaction advances you on the path of happiness as much as action.

These aren't specifically BPD books but they're the ones that have helped me the most.

When Things Fall Apart helped me embrace and value pain and suffering instead of making everything worse by constantly resenting and avoiding them.

The Power of Now taught me that I am not my mind, my opinions or my experiences, I am my consciousness, and that peace and love are always readily available in every moment. All I have to do is be present in reality instead of helplessly lost in my mind. This book explains very clearly how to practice and develop this skill.

You will get through this. I promise. But it takes time. Start a journal. Continue to reach out to the gay community. Read this book: https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1611803438

The book When Things Fall Apart helped me massively when I hit rock bottom. I honestly can't recommend it enough.

I hope things get better for you.

You can practice mindfulness meditation. The more you practice it, the better you will get at noticing the moments as they pass, and eventually not even "noticing" them so much as living in them fully. It takes time to get there, but the basic techniques are simple enough for anyone to learn. There are lots of guides out there to get started — this is a good one.

This is specifically a promotion for the sub, but like I said - no more thread announcements from me at least for now. As for why it is suggested a lot here, but not talked much about on traditional buddhist boards, I think that the answer is quite simple: It is a new book, that is very appreciated in the pragmatic/secular meditation community. It offers little new in terms of insight for buddhists as it is not a dharma book, but rather a meditation manual. Culadasa was also fairly unknown to the majority of the buddhism/meditation world before publishing this book. You could also check the amazon page if you don't believe that this book is popular outside of r/meditation.

I have no direct affiliation to Culadasa, but since having read the book I became very excited and found a thread in r/streamentry about a Culadasa trained teacher. That's as far as my connection to Culadasa goes, although I have chatted with some more people who know or have met him because of the groups.

Other teachers who have talked positively about the book include Daniel Ingram and Shinzen Young, and it is popular also at r/streamentry and www.dharmaoverground.org. So I think that you have just been looking on the wrong boards.

The reasons I'm promoting the subreddit are also simple: 1) I want to share this book with as many people as possible, because it's a great book, and 2) I want people to talk with about the book.

It's all about decluttering and living a minimalist lifestyle. Everything has a home and therefore gets out away each time. When you are finished with an item, such as clothes that are too small or outdated, you thank them for their service/for bringing you joy and then you let them go (trash or donation). To start with you go through all your belongings via categories. It takes a while to do but I loved it. We cleared out 3 huge bookshelves of stuff and are actually fairly well organized.

Here's the book off Amazon

Check out “Wherever you go, there you are”

It’s such an easy read and it explains the ideas behind mindfulness so well. Before I read this book I had a perception that mindfulness/meditation was just kind of a random new-agey fad thing. After reading this book and practicing the concepts it’s been pretty amazing for my overall mental health.

It’s funny, there’s actually a chapter in the book that talks about how you shouldn’t be going around telling people you are practicing mindfulness because it eliminates the point yet here I am 😂 had to shout it out tho

https://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/1401307787

/u/hikanron since you were looking too

The Mind Illuminated. The author is John Yates (Culadasa).

Just in case you need more info, here is a link to the Amazon store.

https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Illuminated-Complete-Meditation-Integrating/dp/0990847705

I'm sorry things have turned out to be so painful.

>It’s incredible how one bad mistake you make can make you lose everything.

I know that all too well.

You should read this book. It helped me a lot when I was at my lowest.

I wish you the absolute best.

One resource you may like is

https://www.amazon.com/Life-Changing-Magic-Tidying-Decluttering-Organizing/dp/1607747308

there is an audio version also on audible. I enjoyed it and recommend it. I dont follow it like the bible but took a lot away from it.

Past that, and these are things that will help in life.

1. Get on a schedule with a set wake up time. Make one of the first tasks you do something along the lines of "Make the bed"
2. When on a schedule make the first thing you have to do before brushing your teeth "Take ten minutes to put up things" (I am not saying spend an hour every night cleaning or to go longer than ten minutes. Just do some small things in that time.
3. There are no one time things you can do. Maybe look more into organizing systems but they are only as good as your ability to maintain them. That starts with habit building and doing some small things throughout the day.

For learning how to make habits easier and work on just incorporating being more organized I would check out "Atomic Habits by James Clear"

Buy and read this book ASAP. Tara Brach is amazing and this book really helped me with some of what you are going through.

https://www.amazon.com/Radical-Acceptance-Embracing-Heart-Buddha/dp/0553380990

I have no personal experience with this book or with this teacher but I know some people have found a lot of inspiration from this book

https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Fall-Apart-Difficult/dp/1611803438

Radical Acceptance - Tara Brach
Self-Compassion - Kristin Neff

:) I hope it goes better for you.