Good self-help books are underappreciated. They can provide the push needed to us in critical moments of our lives, e.g. to overcome short-term pain / excessive risk-aversion when making an important decision, and let us change the fundamental frames / instill useful mantras into our lives, changing our trajectories significantly. These two self-help books definitely changed my life, providing both motivation and timeless advice:
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life by Scott Adams
Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odd by David Goggins
I recommend these to all my friends and everybody who read them so far loved them (note that for max effect probably best to space them out and to first read Adams and then Goggins a few months later).
This process (called the diffused mode of the brain) is discussed in depth in a book I read a few years ago called A Mind For Numbers: How to Excel at Math and Science (Even If You Flunked Algebra).
Would highly recommend if anyone is interested in how your brain learns things - especially abstract concepts like mathematics and programming.
Deliberate practice.
Set yourself small, achievable goals to extend your current ability incrementally and do that regularly.
Hey man we all get discouraged when learning something new.
You should check out this https://www.amazon.ca/Mind-Numbers-Science-Flunked-Algebra-ebook/dp/B00G3L19ZU
The author was terrified of math throughout high school and joined the army after graduating. When she was ~25 she realized the work she was doing was not going to provide her a great future, and she went back to school for an engineering degree. During this time she learned how to overcome her issues, and she's now doing a PHD.
I really liked the book, I got it on Audible but wouldn't be surprised if the library had it :) She covers strategies to deal with solving new problems and also procrastination.
I'm early thirties, and left a controlling ex a couple years ago myself (still married because they keep "accidentally" dropping the ball on their end, but that's another story). I had a discouraging experience going back to school while we were still living together, and it made me nervous about trying again. But this time has been totally different. I'm graduating from CC this spring with a 4.0!
We adult students have a lot of things going for us. There's the benefit of life experience and a fully developed brain. We tend to be more organized and driven, too. You may even find that material you struggled with as a teen comes more easily now.
However, I still get panicked every semester that I'm going to lose focus and flunk. Recently I've started having nightmares that I'm going to fail a class and not get to walk for graduation. I'm also worried because I'm starting STEM "weed out" classes next semester, so the difficulty is about the ratchet up significantly.
I'm managing by keeping my focus mostly on my current semester. I also bought a book called <em>A Mind For Numbers</em>, which is recommended for folks who aren't so confident in their math skills. It focuses on strategies for studying more efficiently and reducing the time you feel like you're grinding away but not getting anywhere.
I know it's scary, but school won't be as bad as your fear is telling you. Community colleges are very supportive places, with lots of resources to help you succeed. Take advantage of advising, free tutoring, and disability services (if panic attacks continue to be a problem). Don't let fear stop you from getting that degree! You can do it!!
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I can't recommend On the Phenomenon of Bullshit Jobs and the book it expanded into enough.
I would recommend that you look at the book Peak: Secrets From The New Science Of Expertise. I’m reading it now and it is so interesting. It basically explains how people become experts using specific principles defined by the author as “deliberate practice.” Even though it is a researched-based book, it is written in an easy to read style; I checked it out of my local library. If you are looking to develop a skill or talent later in life, the steps outlined in this book can get you where you want to be much quicker than if you were just trying to figure it out on your own. Many people realize their dream during middle age and beyond!
Take a look at this book, Staff Engineer: Leadership Beyond The Management Track. It might give you some insight and help answer some of your questions.
EDIT: My main takeaway is that I don't really want to be a lead, but it's where I am at the moment, and I'm not terrible at it, so might as well see where it goes over the next few years.
I mean, I'd never hire a senior engineer who couldn't tell me how they added value to the business, but maybe that's just me.
I'm in the middle of reading this book per request of my VP. It contains interviews with staff engineers at Dropbox, Stripe, Squarespace, Split, Mailchimp, Fastly, Slack, Auth0, and Samsara. They all seem to contribute heavily in the archtypes that they're asked to fill within their orgs. So, I'd say so, yes.
I was very similar to you, and found the book <em>A Mind for Numbers</em> incredibly helpful for helping develop effective studying techniques (I read it my last semester in school, and kicked myself for not reading it sooner). There's a coursea course called "Learning how to Learn" by the same woman (+ a man, iirc) that seems to cover the same content.
Good luck!
This is totally within my wheelhouse. For all intents and purposes, there is no such thing as "talent." It's better to think of talent as a subjective opinion someone gives (I.e. "you're so talented!").
Nearly everything is a skill because humans learn by modeling or trial and error. Skills are built via mental representations. Artistic endeavors are skills because anyone can do them and improve immensely.
I encourage you to read Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise by K.Anders Ericsson.
The moral of the story is that no one is innately born with any skill, hence there is really no such thing as talent in that way. Just subjective opinions.
If you hate finance then you hate it. But in the future you should probably think what your options realistically are after graduation if you continue to major in graphic design.
I mean ironically I'm about to make a finance analogy, but think about it this way: how much are you paying for this degree and how much is your salary going to be realistically after graduating? How competitive is the market for entry level positions? Do you have any unique skills/ability that makes you more competitive compared to other people when you graduate?
You're still only a sophomore so you have plenty of time to make small bets on stuff that piques your curiosity (extracurriculars, electives, etc).
I would also seriously consider how strong your motivation is for graphic design if you let your mom get in your head about it.
Also give this a read if that line of thinking had you interested at all. The book is about a guy who interviewed/researched a bunch of people who were successful in spite of not following their "passion".
https://www.amazon.com/Good-They-Cant-Ignore-You-ebook/dp/B0076DDBJ6/
This book I read gave a neurological explanation for procrastination. They stuck someone in a fancy brain scanner gizmo and gave them a task that would trigger their procrastination. What they saw was that the anticipated discomfort you mentioned lit up the actual pain centers in the brain. They also saw, however, that this brain activity stopped when the person actually started the task. Based on this, their advice was "start by just doing a little." But in your case, it sounds like the pain response continues while doing the task. Emotional flashback?
If their model is correct, then maybe your problem isn't actually "procrastination," but you're getting the same end result of avoidance and dissociation. If so then tactics for dealing with procrastination aren't going to help as much as expected- and obviously you've tried quite hard!
It's kind of tangential, but I'd recommend checking out the book Deep Work by Cal Newport. He talks a lot about the need for downtime and quiet time.
I don't think the Stoics would have specific advise regarding career other than making sure that your work contributes to the world, doesn't harm others or exploits them.
Here's my career advise:
art has helped me a lot. I'm glad you found something creative, I wished someone had told me that art would help me when I was first diagnosed. here's a book that will help you with your painting journey. It has helped me with my music/math/programming/graphic arts journey.
I’m sorry, that’s sounds so frustrating, college-level math and physics can be very unforgiving if your high school math foundation is weak. It sounded like you have put in the hard work but struggle to see results. That’s an indication that your current study strategy/habit is not working and it’s time to learn some new study skills, to study not just harder but smarter. Here is the perfect book for you:
https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Numbers-Science-Flunked-Algebra-ebook/dp/B00G3L19ZU
I benefitted a ton from the book. I also agree that it would be a good idea to take a semester off to focus on your mental health and study strategy, review high-school math using Khan academy, and do some soul-searching to understand why you are in college (what’s your life goals?) so that when you are ready to come back, you will be in a much better mindset with better background and strategies to get through the struggle.
It's quite common to experience a loss of passion if you're not engaged or interested in what you're doing. I'd start with that. Start by listing all the things that you do find engaging. I'm not saying you can turn that into a new job or position overnight, but crafting a career and path takes a bit of time.
Start small. List out what you're interested in. Also sketch out what you're good at naturally. What are your superpowers. Everyone has some.
The other approach is to make whatever you're doing more meaningful. What can you learn there. This is not a cursory comment. What if you were at your current job to selfishly learn? Can you learn about other people? Are there skills you can pick up?
This book is also worth checking out. Great stuff for answering these questions
Designing your life.
Hope this helps. Happy to chat if you have further questions.
Ps. curious about the skincare routine!
Book recommendation that kind of answers your question in a very roundabout way
https://www.amazon.com/How-Fail-Almost-Everything-Still-ebook/dp/B00COOFBA4
> A combination of mediocre skills can make you surprisingly valuable
it is simply one indicator of a few you should use. among them, google (obv), your smart peers, professional opinions as well.
here's a book that taught me to not react with "i already know" kind of attitudes.
https://www.amazon.ca/How-Fail-Almost-Everything-Still-ebook/dp/B00COOFBA4
good luck man!
Diffused thinking is more conducive to creativity and invention, but while flow is a sign of focused productivity. You need both diffused and focused modes of thinking. Models of innovation, like design thinking, have divergent and convergent stages.
This MOOC on Learning How to Learn has a good introduction to how your brain works. The early lessons are informed by A Mind for Numbers.
When you have time (winter break?) read A Mind For Numbers by Barbara Oakley - it's a book about how to learn more efficiently, especially in math/science. It's a very practical book about how the brain learns and how to structure your study in a way that utilizes the literal biological process of learning that happens in your brain.
Also, what u/two-bit-hack said, and practice a lot. Don't be ashamed to watch tutorials and look up answers until you get it, but when you look up answers make sure you take the time to learn why the answers are correct. Real learning takes time and effort. Be persistent, consistent, and patient.
What do you think about this one?
"Last night a Dj saved my life" seems like it's more about history, while "How to DJ Right" has some practice tips as well.
> Is this a genius strat? Or maybe now an outdated idea?
Yes and no. When it comes to "Professional Services" this is something that works:
This won't get your rich overnight but do this for a decade and nobody would be able to touch your customer base, and it would be a self-fulfilling business. As long as you're best in class.
Mic drop.
> Some intersting reads: > > https://www.amazon.com/Staff-Engineer-Leadership-beyond-management-ebook/dp/B08RMSHYGG >
This is a good, pragmatic book. If someone reading this is on the fence about buying it, there's a companion website that includes a lot of the information for free. The guides in particular are helpful:
While you're still learning, understand that you'll always be learning. According to this article about a 1929 study that is outlined in this book, you only need about 100 hours to become a master at something.
That is all to say that you're more along the scale than just beginner than you think you are. I've played with the engine since 2018 and still think I'm a beginner. I know better in my mind...but in my heart, as a hobbyist, I doubt I'll ever get passed it.
Keep up the great work, Dev!
From the book Peak: Secrets from the new science of expertise
>Research has shown that, generally speaking, once a person reaches that level of "acceptable" performance and automaticity, the additional years of "practice" don't lead to improvement. (p13)
More simply put, progress at this stage (and the intermediate stage, to a lesser extent) requires that you move from naive practice toward deliberate practice.
I highly recommend you read 'Bullshit Jobs' by David Graeber.
Many people who have jobs have menial, tedious, unfulfilling jobs that they merely do because someone pays them. I suspect that those who don't want to work largely come from this cohort.
Salut, eu zic ca "problemele" ar fi astea:
- Ai nimerit fix intr-o recesiune, din ce văd majoritatea firmelor nu prea mai angajează acum, toată lumea merge pe burta, așteaptă sa vadă ce se întâmplă în viitor.
- Încearcă sa privești un pic lucrurile din prisma unui potențial angajator: primește probabil jdemii de CV-uri de la o grămadă de oameni care au terminat cursuri și vor sa între în industrie. Ca sa te cheme la interviu, trebuie să-i sara ceva în OK de pe CV - o experiență, un proiect, o măslină, o atenție. Oricât de junior / internship ai fi, trebuie sa fii un pic util firmei, sa poți sa faci un task mic singur; nu te angajează nimeni ca după aia sa pună un mid / senior dev langa tine 24/7 ca sa îți arate cum sa faci merge și sa citești cod.
- ca parare subiectiva și total neceruta, cred ca ești blocat în tutorial-hell.
Cred ca ar trebui să-ți faci un plan (gen ca în Ian 2023 sa fi angajat ca developer (junior sau internship) și pentru asta ai cam ~2 luni sa faci un proiect micuț pe care-l să-l pui pe CV (un exemplu ar fi sa consumi și tu un API public, gen ala de la GitHub, ca sa faci un git repo searcher - folosește și tu o libarie de CSS și vezi dacă poți să-l faci un pic responsive)
Dacă partea de mai sus îți da atacuri de panica și nu știi de unde sa te apuci sa faci asta, sugestia mea ar fi sa termini the odin project (track-ul cu full stack JS recomanda oamenii pe aici). În paralel, îți recomand sa citești cartea asta (te învață cum sa înveți, titlul e ușor imbecili)
Dacă banii sunt o urgență, atunci poți încerca sa aplici pentru poziții de QA, cu mențiunea ca munca e destul de repetitivă și departe de programarea propriu-zisă, așa ca o sa fii în aceeași situație de acum, doar ca o sa poți zice ca lucrezi în IT.
I wish this book had been around when I was your age: https://www.amazon.com/How-Fail-Almost-Everything-Still-ebook/dp/B00COOFBA4
I think this point in your life is the perfect time to read it and use some of the principals to orient yourself while you make plans for your next step into the future.