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This is really important! Child sexual abuse numbers are still way too high. Teaching your kids the correct terms for their body is a way to prevent it as predators/abusers typically use pet names. Teach your child if this happens to come to you immediately. As for how to approach it, I know some people that use the book “It’s so amazing” with their nine year old. It is very detailed about both male and female bodies, reproduction, pregnancy, and birth. But, it also keeps it age appropriate so the kid doesn’t become uncomfortable. They make a younger and an older version too so it gets more detailed as it goes on. Talking about sex and the education behind it is so important. A lot of TED talks explain how to go about this well and I’ve found them really helpful. A lot of sex education comes from home and school. School information can sometimes show that sex is shameful, when it shouldn’t be! We need to teach our kids that from a young age. I know talking about it all is super awkward and weird, but if you don’t, google will(imagine a young girl typing in girl body or teen sex). Talking about it is hard, but maybe reading it is easier. I’ll attach the link for the book, and hopefully it helps! Good luck and you’ve got this! https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=E8XDFE84ABZKP9R4N61N&dpID=512fzB-d8ZL&preST=_SX218_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=detail
As the mom of 11 & 13 year old daughters I want to recommend some books - It's So Amazing! (for ages 7-10) and It's Perfectly Normal (for ages 10+). I grew up in a house where my mom didn't talk about anything, though I was vaguely aware of menstruation. The only education I got about it was from the school's maturation program. I wrote my mom a note when I started my period because I couldn't voice it, and thankfully had stuff from the school to use because she hadn't bought me any.
I didn't try and hide anything from my girls (and I later learned they thought my pads were "mama diapers" but didn't understand why I needed them), but it was hard to overcome the shame of actually talking about it. I bought those books read them myself and then put them in a place accessible to them and said "hey I found these cool books that teach you all about your body. Read them if you want to, and if you want to talk about anything let me know." And maybe pointed out a section that was a little lighter, like one of the cartoons with the bird and bee talking about body hair.
As they've actually reached puberty I've made efforts to talk about my own experience and normalize it being ok to talk about. "oh man my cramps are bad today" or "I need to buy more pads" Obviously you can't do that, but finding ways to make it a safe and open thing to discuss in your house even with brothers who can't relate, will help her feel comfortable and not ashamed.
Everyone poops.
That's a clever use of a a silly thing, I'd let him have it.
For how to approach it, I know some people that use the book “It’s so amazing” with their nine year olds. It is very detailed about both male and female bodies, reproduction, pregnancy, birth, etc. But, it also keeps it age appropriate so the kid doesn’t become uncomfortable. They make a younger and an older version too so it gets more detailed as it goes on. A lot of TED talks explain how to go about this well and I’ve found them really helpful. Talking about it is hard, but maybe reading about it will be easier. I’ll attach the link for the book, and hopefully it helps! Tell him I said good luck and you’ve got this! https://www.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=E8XDFE84ABZKP9R4N61N&dpID=512fzB-d8ZL&preST=_SX218_BO1,204,203,200_QL40&dpSrc=detail
I strongly recommend you send her a copy of "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie H. Harris.
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> The definitive book about puberty and sexual health for today’s kids and teens, now fully updated for its twentieth anniversary.
>
>For two decades, this universally acclaimed book on sexuality has been the most trusted and accessible resource for kids, parents, teachers, librarians, and anyone else who cares about the well-being of tweens and teens. Now, in honor of its anniversary, It’s Perfectly Normal has been updated with information on subjects such as safe and savvy Internet use, gender identity, emergency contraception, and more. Providing accurate and up-to-date answers to nearly every imaginable question, from conception and puberty to birth control and STDs, It’s Perfectly Normal offers young people the information they need—now more than ever—to make responsible decisions and stay healthy.
​
The book title is "It's Perfectly Normal". I had never heard of it so I Googled it. It's sold by all major stores, including Target, Walmart, and Amazon.
It has a rating of 4 1/2 stars with 2,480 ratings, so it can't be too bad.
If you want to laugh, go look at the 1-star rating reviews. Lots of Karens are outraged. It's hilarious.
I guess they want their kids to learn about sex the old fashioned way... by secretly watching porn.
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729
You can google "first period kits" and see what it's included in those and make one for her. It would just require a quick stop at the store and would be a nice gesture. Usually they are a small bag/purse with a few different types of pads/liners/tampons, a small bottle of ibuprofen, some new undies, and maybe something fun like a bottle of nail polish or some chocolate. A heating pad is also nice. If you are also concerned with the messaging from your wife, go on amazon and get a book, something like this, that's specifically about puberty and starting her cycle. Or send her a link to a website geared towards that.
NTA. He asked and you answered in an age appropriate way.
Book suggestion for anyone interested Who Has What?: All About Girls' Bodies and Boys' Bodies
It doesn’t discuss how babies are made, but similarities and differences between male and female bodies.
You mentioned you had a book about body parts. I feel pretty passionate about recommending this one to other parents. I feel like the more a child/person knows about their body the stronger the body image they’ll have for themselves and be there own best advocate. We started reading it to our girls when they were 2ish
Amazing You!: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts https://www.amazon.com/dp/0142410586/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabt1_hfXUFbVBNYVA7
I would recommend getting a book too. That way - if he is embarrassed or something - he can look at the book on his own. We use this one but there are a lot out there. I like this book because it reminded me to talk about things I never would have thought to point out (like the difference between sex meaning gender, and the act of sex).
OP, this is very normal when you are going through puberty.
This book may help you during this confusing time: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library).
Definitely have a talk!
I’d also drop a few books in the bookcase that she can access that are she appropriate and informative. I really like it’s perfectly normal by Robbie H. Harris but there are loads out there
Having the talk is also helpful, but kids this age also don’t know what they don’t know so it’s nice to have a comprehensive book that they can peruse
It's called Amazing You: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts.
Here's a (non-affiliate) Amazon link too.
We really like this series of books. The next one in the series is "It's so Amazing" which is recommended for 7-10 year olds, so the OP might want to consider that one also. If you haven't talked at all about this, I'd probably start with the first book (It's not the stork), and then read this one next: https://smile.amazon.com/Its-So-Amazing-Families-Library/dp/0763668745/
My 6-year-old started asking. He's an avid reader so we bought him this book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/dp/0142410586
We suggested he read it and ask us any questions that he may have afterwards.
The book doesn't go too into detail but explains the basics, which were enough to satisfy his curiosities for now.
Could it be The Human Body Factory by Dan Green? It’s not from the 80s but it does have little people inside the body.
I remember a book from my childhood but I don’t think it’s what you’re describing. It was an illustrated human anatomy book for kids. But instead of tiny people, the guys inside the body were weird little booger like people. I think they were red and white and might have been meant to represent blood cells. But I remember them looking distinctly like the Nerds candy characters.
I remember them so vividly because of an experience I had getting my tooth pulled as a kid. They gave me laughing gas or something and I experienced everything the way it was illustrated in the book. I could see the little guys running around my body doing things including passing the message from the dentist asking me to open my mouth from my ears to my brain to the muscles in my mouth. It isn’t relevant to this answer but your post brought back these memories.
Does he need to read this? Why worry if people think you’re taking a dump? I don’t think it’s ever crossed my mind what other people or doing in the stalls.
Personally I think it’s more embarrassing having a bare ass at the urinal, like one of those pants-around-the-ankles pissers
Ma possono fare quello che vogliono
https://www.amazon.it/Amazing-You-Getting-Smart-Private/dp/0142410586
Mettiamo educazione sessuale anche a quelli di 3 anni
Del resto uno dei grandi promotori della sessualità dei bambini era quello che faceva esperimenti su di essi
Sarò conservatore evidentemente, tastare quanti orgasmi può avere un bambino di 4 anni è un abominio per me
It should be noted there's a third book in this series for older kids.
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, Gender, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1536207217/
I haven't read these, but I'll check them out. I linked a different set of books by another author in my other comment.
I’m pasting a link to the book below. It was very good. It handles the controversial topics in a factual and unemotional way, and leaves it to you to explain your position. It honestly didn’t feel to me like there was any bias there. My kiddo’s therapist said she started reading this with her kids when they were 6, but it’s great for all ages (IMHO). It's Perfectly Normal: Changing... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668729?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, Gender, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1536207217/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_53BHPA8XHC812AFSQ9NC
Says 9-11 year olds here
Seriously, I thought I'd be so chill about it. Wanted it to be a completely normal conversation and I'm still blushing at just the thought of it months later. Ugh..
Anyways, we used this book https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0763668745/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Didn't give it to him straight out because we didn't want to overwhelm him with info but it was a good guide and I think we'll give it to him soon now that it's been a while since we first discussed it. He still thinks kissing is gross so I'm feeling lucky in that regard though he does like one of the girls in the neighborhood now..
Calling bullshit on this story.
On the tiny chance that this is true, I'm sorry to break this to you but women shit too.
Here's some research material:
https://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Turtleback-School-Library-Binding/dp/0613685725
I’m not a parent so take this with a grain of salt—but one of my acquaintances uses books by Robie H. Harris to teach their kids about sex.
It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668745/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_a_TVHPPD4Q6DV3YFS8KHZM
Your mother’s attitude is why he was so ignorant. If you can, please take over (probably stealthily) his sex Ed. At least, get him the right books, and point him to the right websites and try to help him learn how to avoid misinformation.
I recommend the book “It’s Perfectly Normal”. It’s not expensive and very, very good. Maybe buy it for yourself, keep it in your room, and tell your brother he can check it out, or something. Whatever works in your house.
I hate telling you to go behind your mother’s back, but the world is better when kids get taught properly.
This was a good purchase for us that goes over all the proper names for things in a very accessable way.
We just got Who Has What: all about girls’ bodies and boys’ bodies.
It’s got all body parts, including ovaries and restocked.
Build a small shelf in the household that your children have open access to. A few books for variety, but ones that normalize nudity and have good information about the body and sex.
For a 10 year old I'd recommend giving him this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/1536207217/
My daughter started getting grabby with her brother when he was naked and we started talking about consent immediately. The other thing we did was talk about sex and gender. I see no reason to be scared or ashamed to breech these topics with children. They’ve seen each other and my partner and I naked. They know we have different parts. Because my partner is also a biologist, he has explained how sometimes things don’t exactly go like they are meant to and we get anomalies. It doesn’t mean the anomalies are bad, just different.
We used this book to help us explain biological sex when we first started but obviously it does not cover everything. It was however a good starting point. Amazing You!: Getting Smart About Your Private Parts https://www.amazon.com/dp/0142410586/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_V0CRJGJE5XK79B7YQ2AK?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Also, I am concerned based on your replies that you do not completely understand what intersex means. Can you tell me what your understanding of intersex is?