I strongly recommend you send her a copy of "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie H. Harris.
​
> The definitive book about puberty and sexual health for today’s kids and teens, now fully updated for its twentieth anniversary.
>
>For two decades, this universally acclaimed book on sexuality has been the most trusted and accessible resource for kids, parents, teachers, librarians, and anyone else who cares about the well-being of tweens and teens. Now, in honor of its anniversary, It’s Perfectly Normal has been updated with information on subjects such as safe and savvy Internet use, gender identity, emergency contraception, and more. Providing accurate and up-to-date answers to nearly every imaginable question, from conception and puberty to birth control and STDs, It’s Perfectly Normal offers young people the information they need—now more than ever—to make responsible decisions and stay healthy.
​
The book title is "It's Perfectly Normal". I had never heard of it so I Googled it. It's sold by all major stores, including Target, Walmart, and Amazon.
It has a rating of 4 1/2 stars with 2,480 ratings, so it can't be too bad.
If you want to laugh, go look at the 1-star rating reviews. Lots of Karens are outraged. It's hilarious.
I guess they want their kids to learn about sex the old fashioned way... by secretly watching porn.
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729
You can google "first period kits" and see what it's included in those and make one for her. It would just require a quick stop at the store and would be a nice gesture. Usually they are a small bag/purse with a few different types of pads/liners/tampons, a small bottle of ibuprofen, some new undies, and maybe something fun like a bottle of nail polish or some chocolate. A heating pad is also nice. If you are also concerned with the messaging from your wife, go on amazon and get a book, something like this, that's specifically about puberty and starting her cycle. Or send her a link to a website geared towards that.
OP, this is very normal when you are going through puberty.
This book may help you during this confusing time: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library).
Definitely have a talk!
I’d also drop a few books in the bookcase that she can access that are she appropriate and informative. I really like it’s perfectly normal by Robbie H. Harris but there are loads out there
Having the talk is also helpful, but kids this age also don’t know what they don’t know so it’s nice to have a comprehensive book that they can peruse
This is the one we have. His favorites are the hot chocolate breath and the color breath:) link
I’m pasting a link to the book below. It was very good. It handles the controversial topics in a factual and unemotional way, and leaves it to you to explain your position. It honestly didn’t feel to me like there was any bias there. My kiddo’s therapist said she started reading this with her kids when they were 6, but it’s great for all ages (IMHO). It's Perfectly Normal: Changing... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668729?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Are you in therapy to work on your dissociation? The best thing you can do for your sons is to get help for yourself - put on your own oxygen mask first, so to speak.
In the short term, you might try to find activities to do with your boys that require active engagement from you, so you can't get as lost in your head. Tossing a ball back and forth is something I find to be very grounding, for example. Physical interaction, like giving them piggy back rides or balancing them on your legs, can be grounding as well. You might even look up some fun parent/child yoga ideas. Being outdoors together and focusing on sensory experiences, like grass under your bare feet or water running through your hands, can be both grounding for you and fun for them. In fact, you might look into some kids mindfulness activities, which would be great skills for both you and them to practice! Your 2yo might be a bit young, but you could start with a book like Breathe Like a Bear or Mindfulness for Little Ones.
We have this (My First Yoga book that my daughter (22 months) absolutely loves. She probably pulls it out once a day and does a bunch of moves from it. We've had it since she was less than a year though so idk how much of that is from repeated exposure.
IIRC, there’s a boy version of the care and keeping of you but it wasn’t that awesome. I recommend reading whichever book you choose and then filling in the gaps. Just keep things matter of fact and you will be fine. Been through this twice.
This one looks promising: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/0763668729/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_EDRMWM52FVERTRFYKW1T
This is a series of three books, each tailored for a different age range. All are good. Having the "younger" one wouldn't hurt, just might cover stuff they think they "should" already know. Kids are weird.
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729
Can I ask for some clarification regarding the genre because I could see the idea of this piece going a few different ways:
1) Early reader level 2 with picture ever page where this would be a chapter?
2) Highlights magazine with just mostly blocked text and maybe 3 pictures.
3) quality (non-pulp) large picture book like say How to Solve a Problem ?
4) Part of a larger chapter book for more advanced children readers?
5) or adult read chapter book to children?
Does that make sense?
You might want to dig into that.
I would start with this.
Don’t ask him about it because what’s there to say really? It’s obvious what he’s doing lol. You’ll just end up mortifying him and he’ll end up being one of those weird kids that try to hide that they masturabte and instead of crusty underwear it’ll be bedsheets or you’ll find messes on the carpet..Just nonchalantly start buying Kleenex and leave one in each bedroom and say it’s bc cold weather is approaching. If you do want to have some sort of talk with him about sex in general, I’d advice to get a book to help. There’s plenty of books for boys to help them during this age.
NTA! Your ex sucks. She ignored your daughter’s call when she needed her the most. That’s just plain awful. Your delivery wasn’t great, but I think it was justified.
Also, OP, your ex has proven to you she can’t be relied on when it comes to your daughters’ sexual health. It’s great you made sure to teach your youngest daughters about periods as well, but your oldest is almost a teenager, so you’ll have to be much more proactive about the other stuff. Don’t just assume she’s going to learn from her mum or at school. That’s how STDs and teenage pregnancy happen! If it’s hard to start the dialogue, just buy her a really good book appropriate for her age, such as this one:
(It would be appropriate for the 10 year old too!)
Tell her to read it and to come to you with any questions she has. My mum bought it for me in my last year of elementary school. I was really embarrassed when she gave it to me (sex, yuck!), but as soon as I was alone, I read the whole thing!
Keep up the good work OP!
This sounds like the book It's Perfectly Normal, aimed at ages 10+, has a little cartoon bird and bee commenting along the sides who start out uncomfortable at the beginning of the book and learn to ask questions and be more open by the end. I was taught with it, and I recommend it all the time. It even has a section about HIV, and specifically, the ways that HIV doesn't spread and how you can still hug, play, and hang out with your HIV+ friends and you shouldn't shame them for it because it isn't shameful, but that an HIV diagnosis can be scary, so it's even more important to spend time with your HIV+ friends and show them you love and care about them. It also has a great variety in the illustrations of bodies of all different ages, races, sizes, ability, and more.
It's here on Amazon, or, better, you should inquire at your local bookstore to buy it from them if they carry it: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668729/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_sm90EbHQT7XD9
Get a basic book. Maybe something like this? And maybe a book about consent.
Also recommend the book Breathe Like a Bear and the app Stop, Breathe & Think for Kids, which both have some great simple meditations.
You may want to get your daughter an educational book such as It's Perfectly Normal that you can either read with her or she can read on her own, whichever makes the two of you more comfortable.
That's a great question....but you said they have their own rooms? Something tells me he'll choose to move when the time is right. Maybe casually mention it from time to time. Also, I couldn't recommend the book It's Perfectly Normal more highly.
This book is a really good sex education text for teens and it covers masturbation and other sex-relations issues relevant to teens. We found it very helpful. A child psychologist I know recommended it very highly. https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=A870ETNQKQ9VC016SEPT
Aww, sorry to hear that, best of luck to you. After the baby gets here (ok, quite a while after) this could be fun Yoga Cards for families - some are as simple as sitting together and breathing but I understand that they are a welcome addition to the bed time routine with the same SIL and her 3 kiddos.
I'm an OWL instructor and if you can't get into a class, you can buy the materials online for his age group (there is a parent guide for the 4-6 grade class) and we use the book "It's Perfectly Normal". United Church of Christ also runs the OWL curriculum in some of their congregations.
This is a fantastic book - there's a companion book with it about the creative process. Definitely worth checking out.