The best Christian Evangelism books: Reddit reviews

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

100% stop giving her money, now.

Here are more tips but you have to decide what is necessary.

Block her number for awhile and give yourself space. She isn't a relationship worth having. She just tears you down. I know "it's family," but sometimes, that isn't enough. She isn't making ANY sort of effort to repair or GIVE into your relationship. She is just taking. (I have no idea why you pay for things for her...)

I would cut it off for 1-6 months and see how it goes.

Let other people deal with her, if she hasn't driven them away, already.

She will never learn anything if people keep helping her, despite the 1-way relationship.

Read up on Boundaries. It's the best lesson I have ever learned regarding relationships.

>How can I start nipping that behavior in the bud with her? Any advice is welcome.

You can't change her. Thankfully, you can change you(ie your response).

To poorly quote another redditer,"Boundaries are something you do FOR yourself, not TO someone else. ". It sounds like you are primed to set some boundaries. I would highly recommend reading the book, but here is some advice based on my experience.

It is good that you are done. That is a great starting point! Sit down and make a list of what you don't like about interactions with your Mom (this can also help later if the fog decends). Then make a list of what you are willing to give her (time, money, energy, social engagement, etc), and what is too much. Decide on these boundaries when you are in a calm and clear headspace.

Next, comes the hard part, enforcing those boundaries. Don't let your self give in, especially when the heat is on. You have set rules for your self and will follow them. Support your own good in following these healthy boundaries that you set. Have compassion for yourself as you struggle with this. Remember that humans can change, but it takes time. You can do this.

It was the late Christopher Hitchens who first taught me about the inhumanity of Mother Teresa, though I'd watched a lot of clips of his I haven't read his book, The Missionary Position.

What does it mean to be a wretched person? Maybe it means to be someone who feels no greater joy than watching another suffer unto death, just to feel the satisfaction of being there, when in all their desperation and without basic respite, accepting your religion on their deathbed.

By her own accounts she watched nearly 30,000 people come through her doors, and with broken empathy managed to convince them that their suffering only brought them closer to god. I'd like to know how anyone came to the conclusion that this woman was worthy more than anybody else of earning a Nobel peace prize.

Well, Mother Theresa is an expert on the subject. She left humans in her care to die in pain, denying them medical care and antibiotics. Her policies led to deaths from untreated injuries and diseases in the filthy, poorly managed hospices she ran (The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice https://www.amazon.com/Missionary-Position-Mother-Teresa-Practice/dp/1455523003/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&qid=1473084988&sr=8-1&keywords=hitchens+mother+teresa&linkCode=sl1&tag=chitch-20&linkId=58b39e60ab5d4a6a041d265dc54c8221)

Christopher Hitchins had quite a bit more to say about her; she cozied up to the Duvalier family who ran Haiti as a savage dictatorship for years and considered Charles Keating (disgraced savings and loan executive who bankrupted hundreds of elderly retirees when his pyramid S&L investment bank collapsed due to his greed and mismanagement) as her good friend.

She also opposed contraception and compared contraceptives to abortion, even though India women begged for them so they wouldn't be forced to give birth every year.

Boundaries is a great book about developing this skill. It has some Christian references (which you may or may not be into), but it is such a useful book.

> For a good counter argument, read https://www.amazon.com/Evidence-That-Demands-Verdict-Life-Changing/dp/1401676707 > > EDIT. I'm not surprised you are all downvoting me, and now I've got an "lol" mocking. > > At any rate, I have a large collection of theological book, written by scholars, doctors, and even half-crazy people. > > If you do not read the other side, you do not understand where they are coming from. > > Futher, studying theology is like studying a language, doubles twice as well if you can speak both.... > > Those are not all my theology books, my books aren't really that organized by topic. > > EDIT AGAIN: One final thought -- I had a middle school English teacher tell me a couple things that really resounded with me. One of which was that everyone should have a library. Most people in the modern world that do this keep them digitally, which is awesome. I grew up in the age where that didn't exist. We had books. I have lots of books. Many of them are books that are totally against what I think/believe/accept/like. I read them anyways, because I'd rather not be ignorant debating for or against something I feel strongly about. > > And again, if you'd like to be stimulated by a thoughtful counter argument, grab the book I mentioned and read it; there is a reason it has sold millions of copies, you can probably find it at an estate sale for a quarter, and its not because early indoctrination, it's because thought process takes more than a reddit post or a snide personality.

Good god the "I KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT, SEE, I POSTED PICTURES OF BOOOKS" argument.

Oh and you are an idiot to boot... just saying

What Father (above) said! You are beloved of God and nothing about your temptations and struggles changes His eternal love for you.

Overcoming sin in general and sexual sin in particular requires that we look into the occurrences of sin with the Lord and examine what we're really seeking. When we can identify the human and impulses desires behind the sinful acts, we can turn them to the Lord.

There's a book I'm reading that I'd heartily recommend titled: Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. I'm about 2/3 of the way through and have been edified and encouraged by how the author guides readers towards meaningful & lasting healing.

In any case, I'll offer a decade of the rosary for you. Jesus loves you dearly and will never abandon you.

The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice

Is a great book by - Christopher Hitchens

You might find the new book The Making of Biblical Womanhood pretty interesting. It's great.

I was living independently prior to my daughter being born. She interferes as much as I allow her to. You are a 31 year old woman. You are the only one in control here.

You really need to read this book, hold on I’ll link it

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310351804/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_66Z8DFY5TEWFVHDY5B0G

I forgot to mention a book that really helped me and my husband with boundaries (and my husband isn't much of a reader of self-help literature). We each grew up with a PD parent, so we need help!

When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-Updated-Expanded-When-Control/dp/0310351804/ref=dp_ob_title_bk

It is Christian-based, which would automatically have made me reject the book (because I don't like Bible-thumping), but actually it totally changed my mind about the morals and ethics of setting boundaries. We must, say the authors, in order to grow personally and spiritually ourselves, and to make sure others are free to do the same. They say boundary-stompers must be stopped, and we must stop them.

It is great, I promise! I re-read it every time I feel guilty about my mother, which is a lot, and get a boost of confidence every time. I've had it on my bookshelf for at least a decade. The guilt and manipulation of a PD parent is fierce. This book's concepts is like garlic for that.

My husband and I liked their other book, "Safe People" just as much, but I don't find it on Amazon. It is here: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/p/safe-people-henry-cloud/1101957885/2679450583166?st=PLA&sid=BNB_DRS_Core+Catch-All,+Low_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP79700&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI16vy1rGc2gIVnkoNCh1REQo1EAQYAyABEgL5uPD_BwE

My husband read Safe People in one sitting and announced his mother wasn't a safe person, and immediately totally changed the way he relates to her--which saved our marriage and family. He LOVED the Biblical stuff because his mother used to use Christian values as a bludgeon whenever she wanted her way over everyone else's. This stopped that.

Other people gave good advice re therapy for all. But some important points:

-Ex needs to understand this is your home. You need ground rules. She's a welcome guest until she can get back on her feet. For example, one of your rules to stay might be therapy. Maker a written list (even where she needs to park her car) and have a sit down ASAP.

-Great book idea might be "Boundaries" as it teaches you how to nicely draw the lines to protect yourself. And you need to stay safe in order to help. So read it so you can help them more.

-While you can forgive her & I hope you do, that does not mean you need fully trust her. They are not the same.

You can do this friend.

​

Ps, you need the book "No more Mr Nice Guy" and perhaps also the book on Boundary by Henry Cloud. The last one may have some Christian undertones but can be read by non religious people too....

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310351804/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_2F5ZT2VCRW6KX9A64442

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310351804/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&aaxitk=184fc26e2ff8f10e5824dc0dee08c1f5&hsa_cr_id=3573033300901&pd_rd_plhdr=t&pd_rd_r=cfd0adb2-4029-4890-81e8-cbda24f1c103&pd_rd_w=B4YHy&pd_rd_wg=ANnsy&ref_=sbx_be_s_sparkle_mcd_asin_0_img

Boundaries, my friend, are not inherently un-Christian!!

You sound like a awesome, smart, wise, mature kid who's unfortunately more mature than your parents. I'm so sorry your parents are treating you this way. Please keep in contact with positive people you trust (grandma, coach, counselor, etc). This is completely your parents fault, not yours!

You might also find supportive folks in r/justnofamily and/or r/raisedbynarcissists. Not everything may apply to you, and their advice can be blunt - but I think you need to be careful with your parents and set some healthy boundaries. I also recommend the book Boundaries. It's written from a Christian perspective and is a great resource.

I recommand the below book. It is written by Father Amroth - Chief Exorcist of Vatican. He goes in details about it.

An Exorcist Tells His Story:

https://www.amazon.com/Exorcist-Tells-His-Story/dp/0898707102/ref=sr\_1\_1?keywords=an+exorcist+tells+his+story&qid=1626064478&sr=8-1

I like your response. It’s very funny. Bongs aren’t popular here. The popular stuff here are more like Cannabis Infused Edibles like gummies. Not really my kind of thing but thanks for the suggestion.

Well, if you have time between your bonging (if that’s a word) or during your bong may I suggest you listen to the podcast (also on YouTube) “Bible In A Year” with Father Mike. It’s great and not boring.

Or maybe if you want to read more about the supernatural, there’s a book written by the Chief Exorcist of the Vatican called “An Exorcist Tells His Story”

An Exorcist Tells His Story https://www.amazon.com/dp/0898707102/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VE47YZPJHKMH7SQT1PM0

Anyways, my prayers to you and I hope you’ll be open to checking this stuff out.

She was a monster. She fetishized suffering, and was the cause of so much of it that it's unfortunate that there's no hell for her to suffer in. Although she probably would love it.

The Missionary Position: Mother Teresa in Theory and Practice by Christopher Hitchens

So much to unpack. It sounds like you really can't help your mom. After all, how do you help someone who cannot/will not help themselves? That said, do not pay bills. It would be like giving a drunk a drink. You would be just enabling her.

I will suggest a couple of books.

1. Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud
2. Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

Now to be funny: You know your financial plan is working when other people make fun of it. :)

Think about it. The people around you are all broke and in debt, but ridicule you for being wise with money....

Hey /u/AidanDaRussianBoi,

When I first started doubting my faith, I spent a lot of time on reddit forums and on Google seeking help. Honestly, most of the time it just made things worse.

I was lucky enough to find a really great church that welcomed doubt and encouraged open discussion. My pastor recommended <em>The Reason for God</em> by Timothy Keller - it changed my life. I highly, HIGHLY recommend reading it, especially at your age.

This book is amazing. I’m a “new age Christian”, and have very strong opinions on equality and God’s intention when it comes to partnership. Christianity is yet another topic that the patriarchy has bastardized. I married to a man who was brainwashed by conservative Christians his whole life. He is amazing now that he has realized the predatory nature of “old school” Christianity, and we have been able to keep our relationship with God while raising a strong daughter as neutrally and free from bias as possible. https://www.amazon.com/Making-Biblical-Womanhood-Subjugation-Became/dp/1587434709 I had these viewpoints before this book came out, but it has given me amazing arguments when I inevitably get into an argument with shitty conservative family members.

Good boundaries will help you see when you’re being used. Manipulation is the number one indicator of being used, male or female, romantic or platonic.

I wasn’t raised with good boundaries, so I took on responsibility that wasn’t mine and chased men that took advantage of me. I didn’t deserve that cause damn, I’m awesome.

This book helped me figure things out.

Kings, keep you’re head up and protect your hearts.

OP, your initial reaction to this incident should also prompt you to look at yourself.

I highly recommend you buy and read this: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life.

I like this book here But I've worked on it a lot during counseling. People who grew up in abusive households, or were bullied as kids or sexually abused, or just ones whose parents gave them no privacy or agency can result in adults who struggle to maintain and observe, healthy boundaries. It's not easy, but it's worth the emotional work.

Appreciate your compassion and suggestions. Thank you kindly.

There's an illuminating and relevant collection of work about somewhat similar states of being called "Spiritual Emergency" with Ram Dass, Stan Grof, and others.

Without delving too deep into a complex issue, I've discovered that the resonances I mention extend beyond the online digital matrix. There are definitely algorithms that data-mine everything and create feedback loops using keywords and such, but the really bizarre realization is that the echo-like nature (what Dr. John C Lilly called the Earth Coincidence Control Office [ECCO]) cascades over into the so-called real world. For example, phrases are repeated back to me: I'll say something on the phone to one individual, and then later that day have the exact phrase said to me from an entirely different person. If the reality could indicate the purpose of these recursive repeats it would be easier to deal with why it duplicates and reverberates redundantly. It can be alienating and disorienting to impart a specific phrase to someone, like the number: 161803, and then have a totally different individual repeat it back to me in a separate and unrelated occasion. Is this a common experience for other people? It truly feels like being in the matrix.

Great recommendation about spending time in nature. I enjoy being outdoors - sauntering and cavorting on this beautiful planet. The extended time in cyberspace is due to all of the "pandemic" issues and general lack of friends. I don't need a counselor, I need love.

Hey, I know it may seem like it at times, but you’re not alone. There are more people who have crazy family problems than you might realize, but for some reason they tend to hide it. One thing that really helped me was this book on boundaries. If you can afford it, it may help you to work on establishing healthier boundaries with those around you. In my case, that meant going non-contact with my parents because they refused to respect me or my partner. Another thing that helped was finding a therapist that I could talk to. Opening up to a professional can be really intimidating, but I am 100% in a better headspace because they helped me to come to terms with those family problems at my own pace and supported me along the way. I realize that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution, but hopefully some of these thoughts help you get through this!

Self mortification isn't about distracting yourself from or punishing yourself for temptation. It is the taking on of voluntary suffering to draw you closer to the Lord.

At best, this is a stopgap measure. What is really needed is a careful examination of your desires and needs so that they can be placed before the Lord. Sexual thoughts and temptations are expressions of legitimate needs that have gotten twisted up and turned inward.

May I suggest 'Unwanted' by Jay Stringer? His book is an excellent guide to examining sexual struggles in this light and moving beyond the battle to victory in Christ.

Cloud and Townsend. I believe they wrote several versions, but here is the one I read:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310351804/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_.zNuFbR2EVZBX

One point: I was not expecting it, but the book does have a strong point of view of religion. While that isn't something that resonated with me, it did not detract from what I learned. In fact, some parts actually helped, seeing the way boundaries could be applied in situations that are generally dogmatic and about following the rules (dealing with church leaders).

Yes! Amazon.

I recommended it so someone else recently and they pointed out that it has a lot of religious references in it. I completely forgot! If that doesn't bother you you can find the book here and the workbook here.

I'm not religious but am in an AlAnon program, so I replace "god" with "higher power" and it works for me.

I've got a great suggestion for you. Must read Boundaries. It is the gold standard to teach people how to set boundaries. It's a great life skill that can be used at work and home.

You need this book!