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If you are an Amazon prime member, buy a $50 Amazon gift card and you get $10 for free. One book I really recommend buying with that $10 is Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief
I'm sure the people with spouses will be along shortly to give you a more informed reply, but I just wanted to say that it's really wonderful of you to be so supportive and put your feelings aside and let her go off and do this.
Your wife is sure to be missing you like crazy as well, but she's doing something that has made a huge difference in my life and the lives of a lot of people I know.
Ten days feels like ages but I promise you they will end. : )
If you're the sort of person who would find it helpful to spend some time learning more about what she's doing, this book is a good introduction.
Good luck! You've got this.
> If you are an Amazon prime member, buy a $50 Amazon gift card and you get $10 for free. One book I really recommend buying with that $10 is Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief
L O L O O L O L
Yes, there is the concept of meditation in Judaism. For more information, I would suggest checking out the book Jewish Meditation by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan
<em>The Noonday Devil: Acedia, the Unnamed Evil of Our Times,</em> by Dom Jean-Charles Nault O.S.B., describes the problem and lists ways you can overcome it.
You might find this book helpful. It identifies the problem and gives you ideas about how to combat it.
There is much to be said for esoteric Christianity. Most Christians either consider it heretical or have no clue what the word "esoteric" means.
https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Tarot-Journey-Christian-Hermeticism/dp/1585421618/
It does become easier, but it takes a lot of practice. In the meantime, don't be hard on yourself when you find yourself engaging with your thoughts. Just gently bring your focus back. Good luck! If you'd like to read more on this subject, my favorite book about it is Opening The Hand of Thought.
I read The Story of Christianity, Vol. 1: The Early Church to the Dawn of the Reformation (https://www.amazon.com/dp/006185588X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_pGvSFb68YM3DF). It’s two volumes, but the first volume is enough to establish that TSCC narrative of the history of Christianity differs substantially from the facts. And further, that the facts of Christianity’s history challenge the claim of Christ’s divinity.
Another, shorter, read is Zealot: The Life and Times of Jesus of Nazareth (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0812981480/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_8KvSFbDCHG8TN), though it is less of a history and more of a persuasive theory drawn from history.
In any case, it becomes clear that - rather than TSCC’s narrative of a divine Christ who established his church on earth during his lifetime, which church subsequently fell into disarray, and was later restored in its fullness by JS, the Christian church began with a small sect of Jews who held some common beliefs based on the teachings of Jesus, that it evolved over time, and that the idea of Jesus as the divine Christ came later, probably starting with the teachings of Paul and codified in later creeds.
At the very least, claims of a restoration are false since there was no “primitive church” to restore.
edit: fixed a typo
You might consult Zen Training by Katuski Sekida.
Sekida focuses heavily on the physiology of zazen, both posture and breathing. I recall an emphasis on a curved spine, but absolutely not slanted or tilted to the side. Sekida warns against Burmese and Half Lotus postures, and really encourages the eventual use of Full Lotus.
He also advocates a specific, rhythmic contraction of breath localized in the belly (hara), which he says creates the physiological preconditions for a temporarily empty mind.
I personally found his teachings thought provoking, and, frustratingly, somewhat at odds with other instruction I’ve been given. Across my Rinzai instruction, there seems to be quite a lot of diversity in how we ought to sit and how important proper posture even is.
Sekida believes posture and proper breathing are fundamental. Others downplay the importance of either.
Speaking personally, I’ve found seiza to be the most comfortable. Half lotus cuts of circulation to one of my feet. Full lotus isn’t possible for me. Burmese is fairly comfortable for up to 30 minutes, but it’s slightly asymmetric and tends to aggravate my lower back on longer sits.
I like the Waking Up app. That's almost like having a virtual guru. But it's secular meditation, no talking about deities or anything like that.
But more than anything, I think this is the best book on vipassana practice that I've ever read. I've read it probably five times and I will read it again. No guru will tell you anything much better than what's in this book! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060637242/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_W03dFbQ3S9JP5
I highly recommend Justo González's The Story of Christianity. It is a two volume anthology of Christian history that is both thorough and entertainingly readable. The first volume is probably what you're looking for as it covers from just after the New Testament up to Reformation, while the second goes through the Reformation up to present day.
Amazon link to the first volume: https://www.amazon.com/Story-Christianity-Vol-Church-Reformation/dp/006185588X
There is also the Didache. A sort of manual for how churches should operate that was probably written within one or two generations of the NT.
It might be acedia, whose chief daughter is despair. There is not a lot you can do differently, but mainly persevere - especially in the little, daily things. If it helps, reading Scripture - which would remind you of His real and present love - might be something to do more of.
You can read Nault for a deep dive; Evagrius provides more solutions, and Nault covers him in the first few chapters.
Check out a zen center or temple if there's one near you, for a crash course in meditation.
It's easier to use an object to meditate on, like the breath and counting the breaths. Objectless meditation comes after the mind has settled, and that's when the insights come. "Opening the Hand of Thought," by Kosho Uchiyama, is a good read for some basics. https://www.amazon.com/Opening-Hand-Thought-Foundations-Buddhist/dp/0861713575/ref=sr_1_2?qid=1667859389&refinements=p_27%3AKosho+Uchiyama+Roshi&s=books&sr=1-2
Have you ever read The Noonday Devil: Acedia, the Unnamed Evil of Our Times?
Story of Christianity by Justo Gonzalez is really great if you're wanting the basic broader history of the church. It's a textbook, just it's so well written it doesn't feel like you're reading a textbook.
You're in a good spot. Zen is taking off in Brazil. Contact the Temple to ask about retreats and/or Weekend stay-overs. Most important is your initial meditation training. See if they are online at all.
You should read a book or two for inspiration. Opening The Hand of Thought is my go-to beginning book.
I’m currently reading The Story of Christianity, which is a great overview. Supplementing it with Encyclopedia Brittannica
The Story of Christianity, Vol. 1 by Justo Gonzalez. I'm using it now and it's fantastic. Easy for a layman to get into, with well-rounded approaches to the topics.
The Armchair Theologians series. Can be bought individually on Amazon as well as on Logos.
I don't think there's anything wrong with Christians using tarot cards. In the old testament God spoke to the high priest through 2 stones, Urim and Thummim. They gave yes and no answers.I ask God to speak to me through the cards and also through my pendulum.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urim_and_Thummim
There's also a book called meditations on the tarot and it's all about Christian hermeticism. Meditations on the Tarot: A Journey into Christian Hermeticism https://www.amazon.com/dp/1585421618/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_BYA50W100Z56R9QBEDGZ
Seeking forgiveness - if it's earnest - brings G-d's mercy...
As for your sexual desires and impulses: watch less porn, stay away from images that would make you think of sex, do meditation (there are Jewish forms):
Jewish Meditation: A Practical Guide
https://www.amazon.com/Jewish-Meditation-Practical-Aryeh-Kaplan/dp/0805210377
And study the Torah to get your mind off of sex...
You want Jewish Meditation: a Practical Guide and Meditation and Kabbalah, both by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan.
This is a strange dry Zen book that borders on esoteric knowledge about Zen and the actual mental experience of enlightenment. He talks about the 3 days of bliss and, the return, etc.
Here's a couple of pages with diagrams about thought processes. (I scanned it a few years ago for a Reddit post.).
Zen Training: Methods and Philosophy (Shambhala Classics) Paperback by Katsuki Sekida (Author)
I’m so sorry that you lost your mom. I have also lost a parent, and although the grief never truly goes away, it gets easier to bear, and you will get used to the weight of it.
I think the most important thing when grieving is to feel your feelings. Do not try to push them away, even though sometimes it feels like you’ll drown in them. Just breathe and let the tears come. Feel the sadness, accept it, and it will pass through you, instead of staying and getting stuck. I think that grief, if you don’t allow yourself to feel the feelings that come up, can fester and come back later and much worse if you don’t allow yourself to grieve. Be kind and gentle to yourself. It’s ok to be sad, angry, guilty, regretful, frustrated- any feelings are ok. Name them, and breathe into them.
I also really, really appreciated a grief support group I went to for a few months after my dad passed. It was so helpful to be around other people who had lost a loved one, to know they understood the feeling, and to hear their stories. It really helped to hear their journeys through grief, to know that it will get more bearable one day.
I also found this book to be extremely helpful, it’s a series of quick daily meditations. I really liked the format and found it super helpful to work through my grief in short chunks:
https://www.amazon.com/Healing-After-Loss-Meditations-Working/dp/0380773384
I often would write in my journal afterward, too.
<em>Meditations on the Tarot: A Journey into Christian Hermeticism</em> is a fascinating book that was anonymously written in the mid-20th century to explore the Christian themes of the various arcana. There’s a lot of overlap between Christian and tarot themes, and the author does a great job of reconciling them with prolific resources from the Christian (mostly Roman Catholic hermetic) tradition.
Be compassionate with yourself. Note the drift and correct.
Then forgedaboutid.
My practice bible is;
Real deal, and covers most issues.
Perfect is the enemy of good!
I don’t have an infographic, but there’s a pocket sized booklet called “pray the rosary” with a blue cover that you can get for like 3 bucks that effectively does what you described. here’s the Amazon link. It goes over how to pray the rosary and then has scripture for each mystery of each category. The original version doesn’t have the luminous mysteries, but there’s a new version with those included if you want those as well.
https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Tarot-Journey-Christian-Hermeticism/dp/1585421618
It can be a dangerous book if someone isn't willing to put in the intellectual work to read it or isn't advanced enough to understand what it's saying, so I don't recommend it for everyone. But it has high acclaim.
It reminds me a bit of walking through a crowd of people. You are not ignoring anybody but you don't stop and talk to everybody you see either. You walk right through the crowd and the people move to let you through.
Thoughts can be like that if you keep moving and don't stop to chat with them.
Here is a wonderful book that goes into depth about 'opening the hand of thought'. It is written from the Soto Zen position so goes into some detail on how to practice in that tradition. But there are several chapters in the book that describe working with thought. I have not seen it described so clearly in any other book: