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Good on you for being proactive about your finances. Please cut it up so you don’t use it any more. I suggest reading this book https://www.amazon.co.uk/Total-Money-Makeover-Classic-Financial-ebook/dp/B00DNBE8P6
So first she guilts you for your DH not paying for her birthday dinner and then tries to guilt your DH into buying her an overpriced mirror? Yikes.
You said she makes six figures but squanders it? Buy her a budgeting book for Christmas! I’ve heard Dave Ramsey is good! Lmao
The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Y2tfCb3313DFT
Tell her all about how you love his budgeting system and you incorporate it into your lives completely! You thinks it’s so great you just have to share. But then again I like being helpfully passive aggressive lmao
Wow. Well, if anything is going to turn this thread on its ear, it’s going to be this. But since you asked (not an affiliate link):
The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VSCMH970KZMXHWPVCG26
I prefer the audio book. Listened to it twice, which I highly recommend since you tend to grab on ideas as you go and the second listen makes sure you get things in the correct order.
We also have the print edition to bookmark, highlight and take notes in.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DNBE8P6/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Read it, live by it. I know its a bit fucked to tell anyone in this position to just "be better with money" (especially with the Covid), but understanding how and where you spend money by doing a budget is critical. Getting a small sum together for emergencies, is critical.
This book really helped influence and codify how I use money, got my 50k in student loans paid off in 3 years, and has me well on my way to saving for retirement and a home.
Financial stress, constant never ending hardship of money, creates a form of PTSD that will literally kill you years ahead of your time.
TLDR: Yes it's possible, no you need more information than any video can present in 9 minutes, think about whether it's a good idea for you.
I'm not going to sit through a video that probably only has 2 paragraphs of actual information. I will say that yes, it is possible to pay off a mortgage in that kind of time frame. If you want something with a little more detail on how to get there, you might consider spending $12.99 on a book. Heck, it turns out that Amazon will autocomplete "pay off mortgage in 5 years" and you can have a book that just deals with that for about $5.
The next logical question: is it desirable? Assuming that your mortgage is affordable and you aren't buried under a mountain of debt, is there a reason not to have a monthly mortgage payment? Sure, the mortgage interest deduction is probably not a factor anymore. But why not use the leverage of that money in your bank/brokerage account? And what about the piece of mind knowing that the escrow account associated with your mortgage is taking care of the property taxes without you having to save or even think about it? I'm not saying not to pay off the mortgage, I'm saying examine your reasons for doing so and the potential pros/cons before you get rolling.
https://www.amazon.com/Total-Money-Makeover-Classic-Financial-ebook/dp/B00DNBE8P6/ref=nodl_
Piracy is a form of stealing. Don’t think Dave would be OK with stealing.
If you really need the book, call in, and he might give it to you for free.
Dave has hard cover on his site for $16 and audiobook for $20 (price rounded up). Amazon sells kindle for $17.
hey there. i've idolized my work, thinking my performance in my job determined my identity. like, if i was getting lots of praise and hitting metrics that I deemed were indicators of high performance, i felt pride. if i was getting harsh or gentle or neutral criticism, that i was failing and it was a reflection of my worth. this was after coming back to Christ as well. it's been a long journey of learning how to serve earthly masters as if I'm serving Jesus Himself. and how to assess what is "good enough" rather than "unassailably perfect," (which is impossible and doesn't really exist on this side of heaven lol).
one book that helped was Tim Keller's "Every Good Endeavor: Connecting Your Work to God's Work."
In terms of "destroying your idols," in your situation, it may be more of a heart-motive identifying thing, that you do in the Lord's presence as you let Him search your heart and show you, and as it is revealed to you, you say no to those motives and goals in your heart and put them to death, and say yes to working from a different heart motive that you ask the Lord to give to you (FOR HIS GLORY! WOOP!).
May take some time! But everyone's journey is different in the Lord. Hope it's a season of deeper freedom from lesser motives that are anything other than God's glory and God's Kingdom! And that you experience His abundant favor in your life, including in work, but especially in intimacy with Him about all things on your heart. In Jesus' name: amen!
https://www.amazon.com/Total-Money-Makeover-Classic-Financial/dp/1595555277
I read the book first, then hired a coach. I was like you, sometimes you know what to do and need to do, but it helps having someone in your corner mentoring you along the journey.
Pray and thank God for work. Or if you're not religious, take a moment to appreciate that we have jobs and can contribute to our families and society.
Con respecto a finanzas:
Recomiendo leer https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DNBE8P6, es medio libro de auto ayuda pero tiene buen info y buenos piques si no tenes un plan de ahorro y ya tenes deudas.
Con respecto a tarjeta de credito, yo subscribo a la idea de usarla para todo. Primero porque no es tu plata y tenes cierto seguro para robos y eso que con la de debito no. Segundo porque algunas tarjetas te dan millas que si las usas pila te beneficias. Esto siempre y cuando pagues el total mes a mes. La idea no es endeudarse y sacar en cuotas, la idea es usarla como si fuera de debito que post paga.
Praying for fresh grace for you. The mindset is, in one sense, good and right. In another, it can be dangerous if you ignore texts like 1 Cor 4:7, 1 Th 5:18, Jam 1:17, . Consider something like this as a good addition (not corrective, as it doesn't address what you're saying heads on).
Personally (you may or may not be able to relate, so take with grain of salt):
When I have overwhelming feelings of failure, inadequacy, pain, my go-to thought is: does God need me? Is my worth wrapped up in my usefulness to God? What about my worth here on the earth to my family, work, church? If my worth is wrapped up in what I do, my sense of despair will multiply when I fail or am unable to perform. This is why the gospel is sweet indeed, because it speaks a better word about where my worth comes from: the cross.
There is an excellent book by Joe Rigney titled The Things of Earth that addresses this exact concern, and if you are miserable because you are stuck on this issue, I highly recommend picking it up.
Here is the Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/Things-Earth-Treasuring-Enjoying-Gifts/dp/1433544733
Otherwise, know that your mother misunderstands what it means to love the world. James 1:17 explains that every good gift is from God. That means the things in life (which include the things of this world) that are good and are meant to be enjoyed come from him. How are you not supposed to enjoy the good gifts given by your good Father in heaven?
As long as it isn’t about someone’s salary other than that making money and helping people be smart with it is a very open topic for example this is a best seller “Dave Ramsay’s Total Money Makeover” at least here in the states
The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness https://www.amazon.com/dp/1595555277/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fabc_ND4VFbHTQ9V5H
If you haven't already, check out Dave Ramsey. He has audiobooks, book books, one of the most popular radio shows/podcasts in the country, and a youtube channel.
He will teach you how to get out of debt and live less than you make. He teaches you how to "pull yourself up" by the bootstraps, how to stop making excuses, stop spending money you don't have, and later on how to invest to gain financial freedom.
If you want, add his book book or audiobook to your wishlist and I will buy it for you. It's an eye opener and a life saver. I recently paid back about 100k (I am including interest I paid) only making 35k and then up to 48k. Took me about six years.
PM your amazon wishlist address if you'd like the book.
I can recommend a couple resources to get you started. One is the subreddit /r/personalfinance. There is all kinds of useful information on there that can help you. The other is the book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. It is quick read. If you do the audiobook it is less than 4 hours. You can almost certainly get it from your local library for free, maybe even as an ebook or digital audiobook.
A very very brief simplistic explanation is that it uses a snowball approach to your finances when in debt. List out all of your monthly expenses from lowest to highest, establish a small emergency fund, then pay off the debts from lowest to highest. When you pay off the lowest one, start applying that now freed up expense to the next lowest. I know that saying to establish an emergency fund is /r/restofthefuckingowl material for this question, but I'm just giving a summary of the ideas.
An example is if you have two debts. One for $200 that you have a minimum paying of $10/month on. Second is for $1000 that you have a minimum paying of $50 on. Each month you pay the $50 minimum on the 2nd and as much as you can on the first one, we will say $25 for this. In 8 months you pay off the first loan, so in the 9th month you roll that $25 into the second loan, and start paying $75/month on it
That's the gist of Total Money Makeover, but I can give you another tip that has helped from my personal experience. It sounds like a discipline problem of spending money when you know you shouldn't. Open a savings account and use direct deposit to automatically put $10, 20, or whatever is appropriate for your paycheck into that savings account. Since it will never hit your checking account you just pretend it doesn't exist.
Depends what you call biblical. Is there tithes in Bible? Yes! Can we learn something about God from that? Yes! However if your doctrine would be sincere exegesis of Scripture in light of New Testament you would never ever brought Mal 3 here. Never! Sincere is the key. Why? - because it require serious explanation of background and context. 99.9% of Christians never heard/read it. Never! Without it reference to Mal 3 is simply unfair. Period.
Church where I [still] go strongly require to tithe poor people. And said/say same words as you - it is biblical. Because of that I started to dig in it and found: there is no any New Testament verses in the Bible what allows to teach that to us. And even more: in the Bible there is no any human who tithed as we expected to do!
BTW Christ itself did not tithed. His disciples did not tithed. Why? Because Scripture, Mosaic Law did not required it from them. 99.9% of evangelical Christians never heard that. Why?
Good start is https://www.amazon.com/Perspectives-Tithing-Views-David-Croteau/dp/0805449779 There you would find questions what apparently you never asked to yourself.
I was in much of the same position you are. My dad made plenty of money and paid my way through college, etc.
The best thing the man did for me was force me to take Dave Ramsey’s class on money management. It changed my life and view on money. I learned how to tell my money where to go instead of just wondering where it went. Because the whole class is kind of expensive, I suggest you just read his book “Total Money Makeover.” Here’s a link if you so desire.
They may be good candidates for Dave Ramsey's approach. Maybe buy them a copy of his book.
His plan is basically like Alcoholics Anonymous for people who can't responsibly use credit. If bankruptcy is off the table, then the only way out is to spend less, make more and pay off the debt with the difference.
I was in about that much debt, though am single with no kids, but also earned a bit less. I discovered Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover and it really helped me bust through my own bullshit attitude of “I should have these things I can not afford.” It was normal to have a $200/month cable bundle. It was normal to eat out daily. Well as Dave says, “being in debt is normal!”
I was lucky to have an extra job land in my lap, and I earned about an extra $10,000 in 8 months. All of that went to paying down debt. Getting a good chunk paid down helped reduce the monthly payments all round, as well as asking sure everything got paid on time. I didn’t realize how much I was wasting every month on late payments, not to mention the damage to my credit score.
You’ve probably already considered this, but weigh your wife’s future income against what childcare will cost. No sense in working just to pay childcare. And perhaps if she stays home with the children she can find a way to earn money online and contribute that way.
Consider whether it would be beneficial to sell and move to a smaller/cheaper house. Your wife’s car being leased will probably be tricky to get out of, but may be possible. Just seriously examine each monthly expense (including subscription services) and decide “do I need this, or is it a luxury?”
Examine your bank statements for what you spend on other luxuries than sneak in, like coffee or fast food. You’ve listed your bills, but what other things might you be spending money on that you don’t even notice?
I got rid of cable, tightened up on shopping and fast food. It’s taken about 4 years but I’m almost debt free. And I’ll admit, I could have been stricter and gotten it done faster.
I've been doing it for nearly 20 years. THIS book will help you. It's the best out there and used by many organizations.
Thanks. It was hard but totally worth it. Late 20s. Making around 40-50k. Followed this book's instructions to a T and was able to pay it off within a couple years. My job sucked but I was so motivated to kick ass I got a better job within the same company and used the pay increase to reach the finish line.
I don't have a great answer to that question. I would definitely try a private sale first. If in a couple months you don't get a bite (deal local and in person on craigslist, please), then try to sell it to a dealership or carmax, etc.
You two are great candidate for Dave Ramsey's plan - check out his book Total Money Makeover. It's a step by step plan to get out of debt, and it works well if you commit to it. It's very no-nonsense, and it has an enormous support community around the country and online.
Pay off your loans, then build an emergency fund, and only then invest. If market declines (which it will one day), you'll be in a horrendous financial position, with debt bills that must be paid but funds that are losing their value.
Your loan interest rate may be 4.4% and the average market may be a higher rate than that, but those mathematical numbers do NOT take risk into account. If you account for that, mathematically, you're better off to take the guarantee return of paying off the loans sooner rather than later.
My advice: Get on a ridiculously aggressive plan to pay off the loans in 2-3 years. What you save on interest & risk will yield greater returns than taking a risk in the market.
Would highly recommend this book for help--it changed my life and will hopefully prevent you from making the same mistakes I did:
I'd look into Dave Ramsey's book or at least his "baby steps".
PF is mixed on him. Personally, I can attest to the success of his program. If you can get that debt cleaned up you have plenty of income to save for retirement and send your kid to college paid for. Best of luck.
The first thing that jumps out at me is the truck. The loan payment and insurance combined is half your monthly income! That is way out of line. Hopefully, you're not upside down in the truck and you can sell it to buy something much, much cheaper. You'll save hundreds of dollars on the truck payment and probably see a drastic drop in your insurance costs.
$150 for internet is more than double than what I pay. Who is your provider?
Other things you can do would be find a second job to work some evenings or weekends. Even if you sell the truck, you're going to have a rough time getting ahead making only $10/hr. I realize that means you're going to be busy, but most of the time the only thing that will get you out of a jam is hard work.
Lastly, you absolutely must start budgeting. It's a habit to carry through the rest of your life. Money needs a plan and a purpose. If you don't tell it where to go, you'll always wonder where it went!
Here's a book I'd recommend: The Total Money Makeover. This is the only thing that made a difference when I decided to make financial changes in my life.
You've already gotten a lot of good advice. But I wanted to say that filling for bankruptcy is not going to help you if you make less than you spend. It will screw up your credit and you will still be living off credit cards. Once you cut your expenses and gain more income, start working at paying off the highest rate CC first. You might want to consider getting a book like The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness"
Also, since she is staying home with your son, maybe she could take in another child to watch.
What he teaches REALLY helped me. Cut up my credit cards and do cash only things or debit card, and did the debt snowball to pay down the lowest ones first (regardless of interest).
What are you passionate about? Hobbies? I bounced around in 4 different majors before I found Theatre Arts, got a degree and then decided to become a professional pet stylist. (dog groomer). At least I do it with flair!
I'm not particularly religious, but there is a class that is offered in many Christian churches that you have other like minded individuals also trying to get out of debt. (He does reference the bible and some religious teachings, but it's not littered in it)
Nothing that I can find easily online. Ramsey hides his stuff behind a hundred dollar paywall. The High School stuff is covered free for schools by a third party, but is still hidden behind logins.
There are some youtube videos if you just search Dave Ramsey.
If you are willing to read, This Book is very easy to read and takes it all the way through. Check it out from your local library though. Free is always better
I want to tell you that if you build your identity on anything other that Christ, it will fail you, and you will fail it.
I've made my work an idol, and I'm amazed to say that for the first time in my life I'm starting to see things and myself differently. Please take a look at this book I'm going through right now as it has helped me a great deal: http://www.amazon.com/Every-Good-Endeavor-Connecting-Your/dp/1594632820/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1453911053&sr=8-1&keywords=every+good+endeavour
For starters on the subject of God and work, you might benefit from this sermon. I loved it: http://www.gospelinlife.com/work-and-rest-5312
I read Tim Keller's <em>Every Good Endeavor</em> a few years ago and it completely changed my perspective on work and my own career, and it made me consider why I had hardly ever heard the church talk about something we spend 40+ hours a week doing. Thanks for sharing this, I look forward to reading it.