They brought it back, but I feel your pain.
Edit: all I know is that I went on after I got the news late as usual, and they had seemingly masked all the vids, pics, dicks 'n' chicks with NSFW overlays.
Also, y'all should read this. I haven't, but it's a step in the right direction judging by some of your pm's.
I’d really like this workbook focused on people with borderline personality disorder. It’s a recent diagnosis I’ve been struggling with and would like to be able to work on creating healthier skills outside of therapy. What a great thing to offer people! link to book
Oh yeah, this has poor self-care written all over it. He’s repressing a lot of pent up shit to be more “Domly”, and the dynamic doesn’t lend itself well to a Dom that needs therapy, because therapy requires a level of vulnerability you can’t really access in that mental state. I’d suggest buying a DBT workbook
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245131/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_xmB2Bb0VBXTDT
Or looking for free at some of the DBT practice at ilovedbt.com
It helps a lot with self-care practices involving very intense emotional reactions, and it’s cheaper than seeing a therapist. Plus, it can be tough finding the right therapist anyway.
I’m a Dom myself, and I can tell you that it works. The toxic shame is so draining, and he’d be much healthier and happier letting it go, because the deed has been done. There’s no “de-kinkifying” oneself. What gets us off is what gets us off. Good luck!
It's gotta be really hard to be a teen in this climate. We can't go back to normal, because people will die. I know you already know that though, and it's just so shitty. I hear what you're saying about the frustration and stress. It's hard enough to be in middle school (if you ask any adult, I think they would agree that middle school is a tough time), let alone have to do this stuff with a global pandemic. It's 100% shit and nobody should disagree with that.
As an adult, I can tell you one thing (and btw - I'm giving myself advice here as I'm typing this because I need it too). This is a real-world version of the "marshmallow test". Step back one bit and take a look at yourself and how you want to manage the situation. You can either be a beacon for yourself or others, or you can go down the crapped-out road of depression. If you use this experience to check your own character, strength and resilience, you might be find that you have deep qualities that you didn't know existed. If you allow yourself just to pool in the "this sucks" mode, your brain will learn that when times get tough, the "this sucks" mode is the default. That's the equivalent of your brain sucking money out of your emotional bank account every time shit comes up in the future. Challenge that, and look back on this Covid crap as a time of immense growth and opportunity that will pay you over and over many years to come.
Also, check out Man's Search for Meaning. It's a book that explains exactly how to function in difficult times. If you ping me your info, I'll send you a copy.
It can be helpful to know simply because it gives you a course of action that would be the most successful way to handle things. And even if you don’t have one, dbt skills can help. Check out a green book called the dbt workbook - it helps with interpersonal skills and setting healthy boundaries.
Look for a dialectical behavioral therapist or group, especially one who is qualified to help you learn distress tolerance techniques. There are also self help workbooks for this type of therapy on Amazon. This one is basically the same content my past DBT group worked on.
Order this and read it at least 3 times. This book will change your life. I have personally seen the benefits in my life.
>shoulder
I had to go through this too. It's easy for me to get bored. I would suggest reading A Man's Search for Meaning. It helped change my perspective. https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Viktor-Frankl/dp/0807014273/ref=sr_1_2?__mk_es_US=%C3%85M%C3%85%C5%BD%C3%95%C3%91&dchild=1&keywords=victor+frankel&qid=1620306098&sr=8-2
It really does. I recommend going through and doing a workbook as you wait to get therapy, or even while you get therapy. It will help show you the ways you're unintentionally making things worse. Here's a good one for OCD: https://smile.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572249218/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=ocd+workbook&qid=1611442175&sprefix=ocd+&sr=8-3
(And I have harm, too. Mine, thankfully, is self harm so I recognize that I'm honestly fortunate in that way.)
It's part memoir, part self-help, but Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. It's written by a Jewish psychologist who was sent to a concentration camp during WWII, and used his experience to write a guide on coping with suffering. Despite the intimidating title, it's a short book and a quick read, and has definitely jolted me from a few ruts in my life.
I suffered a lot of abuse as a child and I, too, have CPTSD from multiple traumatic events.
Consider seeking a therapist who practices DBT as well as EMDR; EMDR and exposure therapy were monumental in removing "crisis" from my daily existence.
There is an EXCELLENT workbook for about $15 on Amazon that I've worked through front to back, and while it's better with therapy, can be read and worked without therapy. Consider adding it to your list.
My heart goes out to your and your buddy and I wish you a warm winter and an income soon.
I found this book (the language and exercises) really helpful! I also have the anxiety book from the same peeps.
I get you. It sounds like you have the "quiet" variety of BPD, i.e. your negative feelings are directed towards yourself (as opposed to towards the external world). Do you engage in self harm (cutting, etc) or have substance abuse issues?
I am also guessing your NPD is of the vulnerable (covert) type like mine.
Actually, having both is not the worst thing in the world. Having BPD rather than pure NPD makes it more likely for you to have affective empathy which many people with NPD struggle with (only having cognitive empathy).
To work on myself, I have just been learning tons and tons about narcissism. This includes Youtube videos, groups on here, including this group, r/narcissism but also narcissism abuse support groups to get a look at my behavior from another perspective, i.e. r/NarcissisticAbuse. My mom has undiagnosed NPD and I was emotionally abused by her, so I am also in r/raisedbynarcissists to deal with my trauma.
I am also learning lots and lots about psychology, healthy attachment styles, healthy boundaries etc. I cant afford intensive therapy yet but I will start as soon as I can.
You should definitely check out DBT - dialectical behavioral therapy, you can either work with a therapist or on your own if you cannot afford it. here is the workbook from Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131
Hello beautiful people. I made this poster years ago when I was going through a tough binge cycle. I have been bingeing for 13 years, but I would say Im almost recovered. I decided to design my own poster of things that I can do before I binge or after I binge. I printed it out and put it in my room, it really helped me. Anyways, it’s not great or anything but maybe someone will benefit from it or design their own. I based it off from an exercise of this book, which I highly recommend. It’s for people with borderline disorder (I don’t have) but I read that it also helps with binge eating.
Everyone here should read The True Believer. It explains the psychology behind this shit better than just about anything else I’ve ever read.
Because you're asking for reassurance which, if given, will only help feed the disorder and push you further into your anxieties.
If you want to break the OCD cycle, you need to start engaging in the necessary therapies and/or medications. You can discuss what's appropriate for you with your doctor.
If you are unable to get treatment, I recommend resources like the OCD Workbook for a CBT oriented approach (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572249218/) or similar works for other therapeutic practices.
Here a link to the book on Amazon.
Thanks for sharing!
This is the book I use. I just skip some of the activities that feel like old news, but I’m onto the Love & Kindness section after the Radical Acceptance section, and I know it’s helped me. I almost don’t fit criteria anymore, and it’s good to have this structure. I’d see if your psychologist would work through it with you (mine isn’t technically trained in DBT but she has no problem giving me “homework” from this book, which we then talk about for part of the session). Wishing you well!
True. It’s a hard problem since money is definitely involved. And you’re right. Sometimes just believing in some thing even if it’s a placebo can go along way in helping your mindset and attitude towards certain issues in your life. That’s a really good point.
There are also some effective ways to do self therapy as well. Seeking resources on how to achieve more mindfulness, self-awareness and the ability to meditate can make huge progress in your interpersonal life and mental health.
I think even if OP just seeks out some cognitive behavioral therapy resources online and buys a workbook they can go through at home it would change their entire life.
Here’s one that changed mine and helped me through some very dark times when I was trapped in some horrible thought patterns:
https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131
This isn't so much reassurance seeking as it is looking for a solution to a very real problem finding treatment. If absolutely can't change your living circumstance, then I second the recommendation by Rusted_Metal: find books and other resources on CBT that work for you. A classic that is very often recommended is "The OCD Workbook" (https://www.amazon.com/OCD-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572249218/).
Medication will help tamp down your symptoms overall, but CBT especially when coupled with Exposure Response Prevention therapy has a fantastic rate of putting the disease into remission.
There’s this myth that ocd is flipping light switches on and off, and washing your hands a certain number of times. Frequently what affects us though are obsessive thoughts, and having obsessive graphic depictions of self harm or harm to others is a pretty common calling card of ocd (obviously not armchair diagnosing you, but this is how it affected me).
It’s important to remember that while this is something that affects you, it’s not a reflection of who you are. I frequently have impulsive thoughts that go against my morals and desires, but those thoughts aren’t me, otherwise they wouldn’t be so disturbing.
I’d recommend checking out The Imp of the Mind which helps differentiate between those thoughts and who you truly are. Overcoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts is another great book if you don’t have access to a therapist, it’s actually designed to help if you are coping alone.
Also don’t forget there are all sorts of therapy options online, some of them free, almost all of them reduced cost. Obviously having your own therapist is ideal, but that doesn’t mean you have to manage alone until you can find one.
*edit: spelling
The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook by Matthew McKay, Jeffrey Brantley, Jeffrey C. Wood
https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131
The Comprehensive Clinician's Guide to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by Sokol and Fox
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1683732553/ref=sspa_mw_detail_6?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I also like these books
https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131
Terrible generalizations about Millennials aside, "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl should be required reading in highschool. Not sure what subject -- Science? History? Something. It's a first-hand account of a concentration camp written from a psychiatrist's perspective, so it explains what happens to a person's psyche when forced to undergo such horrors. It's hard to get through, and you will never question how bad the Holocaust was after that.
This book is incredibly helpful. Even reading the free Amazon preview is helpful. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060987111/
If it does help you, I'd be curious to know, if you don't mind reporting back.
That really sucks. I've been hospitalized 3 times in the past year and I'm currently on my 4th IOP/PHP and recently diagnosed BPD too. My IOP and PHP was in the same place and I've been to that place all 4 times for IOP/PHP. I agree that the hospital sucks and it honestly serves no purpose other than to keep people safe in really bad times. My therapist and psychiatrist think that hospitals are the absolute last resort.
I also want to say that even though you may feel like you shouldn't need the help to get what you want, you may need the help and it's okay to need help. Now what I'm not saying is that the PHP program is fine, it could be shitty, but trying to find one that will work for you is important. Think of yourself as an investment. You are investing into your mental health so that you can get a job and strive toward the goals you want. You want to get the best possible care so you can get yourself to those goals. Maybe you "should" be able to shrug off your BPD, but "should" doesn't help us actually get what we need.
You can certainly tell me to shove it and what I'm saying comes only from personal experience, but I would look into finding a DBT program or therapist, though I'm going to say that you're going to have a really hard time finding one that accepts Medicaid. DBT is built from the ground up for BPD and designed by someone who has BPD, Marsha Linehan. I've been through DBT programs and they have saved my life. There are cheap books on Amazon or websites like DBT Self Help that I've personally used and can vouch for.
As long as you're not a danger to yourself or others, you should remember that you haven't been diagnosed yet. Meaning that you aren't disqualified from joining the Navy. If I were you, I'd get the DBT handbook on Amazon, give myself a few months to really work on it myself, and then if I didn't improve at all, say goodbye to the Navy dream and go get a diagnosis and counseling (which will most likely just be group DPT anyway), and possibly medication if they think you need it.
But if it does help you, then join the Navy. Right now, before the diagnosis, you still have a chance. Take it. The worse that will happen (as I said, unless you're a danger to yourself or others), is that you'll join the Navy and not get better, get the diagnosis, and get a medical discharge. But if that did happen, at least you'll always know that you tried.
Maybe this is horrible advice. But as someone who has missed out on opportunities because of a diagnosis, I know how awful that feels, and I think you deserve to join the Navy.
Yeah! So if you want the workbook that was developed as a result of DBT that has all the skills including mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal skills and emotion regulation here is the link to it on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1511290729&sr=8-1&keywords=dialectical+behavior+therapy+skills+workbook
>The main issues I have with the psychiatrists is the fact that I hate listening to advice and help and the only way I can work on it is if they work with me, which they usually don't.
The thing about DBT is it's about equipping YOU with the skills you need to deal with your problems, so in my experience, it is like working with you, but you don't actually work 'through' your problems in therapy, you just gain the skills and a bit of context, and then feedback how you used those skills the next week. There are a lot of online resources I think you can find some in the sidebar, or there's a book you can work through yourself that some people have found very helpful (about £13 on amazon) if you don't find therapeutic relationships helpful, perhaps give that a try first? It really helped me when I was waiting for therapy to start!