The best Counseling Education books: Reddit reviews

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Sure. I left three years into my Ph.D. program, between my second qualifying paper and quals proper, circa 2012. (I reenrolled for a hot second in 2013 to brush off my QP, turn it into a masters' thesis, and defend.)

I had some research-related disagreements with my advisor which were the actual flashpoint, but it was really more a matter of weighing my options: looking at just what I would have to do, and what I might be missing out on, over the next 3-5 years just to have that X% chance at a tenure-track job. I'm also really big on work-life balance, and though academia has been making some improvements there very recently, in most areas it's still got a long way to go.

On the whole, it worked out pretty well: I went into science communication, took a few different jobs, and now I'm working for one of the leaders in the field. I'd definitely set the groundwork for a non-academic career, though, long before I actually left -- volunteering for non-profits, keeping in touch with industry connections, etc -- and I was also fairly successful at turning my academic background into an advantage rather than an irrelevancy: highlighting the interplay between linguistics and communications, bringing quantitative analysis to a field that doesn't always know what to do with metrics, working for organizations which handle scientific research and academic affairs, etc.

So I'd definitely recommend anyone considering a non-academic career (which, frankly, based on the numbers, should be most of us) think about those same things; when I was first starting off, I found Versatile Ph.D and <u>So What Are You Going To Do With That?</u> to be the most useful, but there could be other resources that have popped up since then. No matter which path you take, though, best wishes making it happen!

I wish I’d read The Professor Is In. It is NOT to early for you to start focusing on what you need to do now to land the job you hope to land after you graduate.

This book is an absolute must read for humanities and social science students, maybe useful for others as well: The Professor Is In by Karen Kelsky. It’s all about how to prepare yourself and navigate this hellish job market.

I think of tenure track professors as approaching something like professional athletes or artists at this point. You have to be both exceptionally talented and determined to make it, and even then may need a bit of luck. Know what you’re getting into, and only bother if you’re ready to give it 100%.

Spend $30 and read The Professor is In and A PhD is not Enough. These two books go over, in copious detail, how to get a job with a graduate degree (specifically a PhD). Key take-aways are: go to a top school and/or work with a top researcher in your field. Publish a lot. Don't be an adjunct if you want to be a researcher. For STEM fields: Assistant Professorships aren't all they're cracked up to be and you should consider working for industry or government labs as well (and then trying for a fast-tracked Associate Professorship - if you're still interested in that - after building up your body of work.)

You need to read this book. Changing the way you think is the first step.

The tl;dr version is this. "There are no "mediocre" developers. We are all eternal students of software engineering, at different levels of the learning process. Even the most "r*ockstar-iest rockstars*" are still just students who are constantly learning.

If you change the way you think about your position as a software engineer, you will easily overcome whatever imaginary challenges you have created for yourself in your own mind.

It’ll be messy and confusing at first. And by that I mean possibly for a year or more while you adjust to and define what a normal, healthy and peaceful life means for yourself. But you should absolutely move out and set boundaries around her abusive behavior based on what you described. Trust your intuition. It’s so much easier to process everything from a healthy distance.

Her behavior as you shared it has some ringings of Borderline Personality, particularly in how you described her reactions to you going against her will. That is a red flag even if you previously felt you had a loving and happy relationship with someone — if they rage or try to manipulate people against you as soon as you decide to stop being “the good child.” I hate backseat diagnoses and that is absolutely not what I’m intending to do, but I would recommend the book “Surviving the Borderline Parent,” which itself acknowledges that people can show traits or behaviors inline with BPD that are unhealthy but it doesn’t mean they have a disorder. It’s more a roadmap to understanding why some of the most common behaviors and tactics might occur, and how to connect, heal and ultimately forgive (with boundaries). I found the book extremely helpful and validating when learning to create boundaries for myself with my mother. Best of luck to you.

The book:

https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Borderline-Parent-Boundaries-Self-Esteem/dp/1572243287

I have a great little workbook Surviving a Borderline Parent that I found on Amazon when I was looking at Understanding the Borderline Parent. That book was way too intense for where I'm at now, but the workbook is just about perfect. It walks through several areas discussing what many people experience growing up raised by a BPD parent, offering both explanation and suggested activities to explore your own experiences.

A PhD is Not Enough! A Guide to Survival in Science by Peter J. Feibelman Amazon link

Make Your Mark in Science: Creativity, Presenting, Publishing, and Patents, A Guide for Young Scientists by Claus Ascheron and Angela Kikuth Amazon link

i recommend getting a physical copy rather than audiobook so you can highlight and write in it. This BPD workbook worked great for me helping to sift through the important factors in the decision of separating from my narc-mom and her minions:

Surviving a Borderline Parent

I read this about a year into grad school (previous version). It's got some good general advice on how to think about your time and what to do with it to succeed.

https://www.amazon.com/PhD-Not-Enough-Survival-Science/dp/0465022227

Hey, so this will be probably buried - but you should check out the phrase "Third Culture Kid." I think it will maybe help you parse some of what you're feeling in regards to having multiple cultures form your identity. It essentially describes a person who is influenced by both their parents' culture(s) and the culture in which they are raised. There's a large community of us!! There's even several books written about us.

I understand that a lot of people feel the need to police or gatekeep cultures as a way to prevent cultural appropriation. But I think the pendulum can swing too far and create segregation and stereotyping and just as much racism. E.g. person thinks you "don't look Korean enough" to enjoy Korean culture... this is racist bullshit no matter how you slice it. If we are to combat harmful cultural appropriation, we have to do so with a great deal of nuance and appreciation.

Lauren Rivera has written a number of papers[1][2] (and a book [3]) about social status and how "elite" consulting firms (not necessarily McKinsey, but typically the next lower tier in size) recruit new candidates. Basically, they look for "people just like themselves" and look for high status extra-curricular activities like lacrosse, sailing and polo. Since those "white shoe" consulting firms tend to prey on companies run by "old school money" they want candidates that are as similar to those owners & executives as possible.

Notes:
1. Hiring as cultural matching: The case of elite professional service firms, LA Rivera - American sociological review, 2012.
2. Ivies, extracurriculars, and exclusion: Elite employers’ use of educational credentials, LA Rivera - Research in Social Stratification and Mobility, 2011.
3. Pedigree: How Elite Students Get Elite Jobs, 2016.

I recommend The Professor is in for details on the reality of job-hunting in academia. The last part of the book has good tips on writing grants and looking for non-academia jobs, too.

I think I was just trying to survive to the next day and had not realized how severely my mother's (my pwBPD) behavior had affected me, but I just went NC for the first time in early November and I feel like I can breathe for the first time in I don't know how long. I don't as depressed or anxious. My head is quieter.

I started reading a book this week that I highly recommend to others with a parent who has BPD: https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Borderline-Parent-Boundaries-Self-Esteem/dp/1572243287/ref=sr_1_1?gclid=Cj0KCQiA1ZGcBhCoARIsAGQ0kkrpX1jgCVRy8Jx60yH39knVox1mU9Hl2X7KvzO_b3eRwjoprt8nA_QaAh84EALw_wcB&amp;hvadid=241610496383&amp;hvdev=c&amp;hvlocphy=9011943&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvqmt=e&amp;hvrand=15539351547440329832&amp;hvtargid=kwd-433988525&amp;hydadcr=15529_10341050&amp;keywords=surviving+a+borderline+parent&amp;qid=1669648158&amp;sr=8-1

It helped me realize I had been helping her with HER emotions and often holding onto them for her since I was a child. Going NC is allowing me to have space for myself in my head now.

I hate that she's suffering, but it felt like I had an anchor on my ankle and I was drowning before.

I feel hopeful.

I know 4 may seem young, but have you considered finding a therapist who specializes in play therapy? A lot of play based therapy helps children even as young as 3 to identify and begin to use developmentally appropriate coping skills.

I'm also a big fan of using books with younger kids as it can make emotions more concrete. I really like this series:

Spot of Emotions

Teaching her to identify emotions and label them can go a long way in appropriately communicating her feelings. They books also have very basic coping skills (quick deep breathing exercises, etc) that you can use with her when she is upset. You can remind her to name her emotions and then use a coping skill when she becomes upset.

book recommendation >Little Spot of Emotion Set
helps kids learn to identify and process their emotions

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This series helped my kiddo a lot and we used to have epic meltdowns that could last well over an hour and hitting. It was a really hard time for me and kiddos relationship.

My kiddo also has ADHD which got to a point where they wanted to try medication (age 8; we supported them) because they had hard time coming back from big emotions. They are the same kiddo but its really great to see the skill sets they learned are now something they can access when they are upset.

Do you often point out when you're happy/excited/elated/eager/etc? Assuming this is just about his verbal identifying of emotions, heavily modeling that behavior yourself might help.

My son is younger, but he was like this. He would say "I'm frustrated and sad" or "I'm mad but I'm not sad" fairly frequently to express basically any negative emotion, but wouldn't give voice to his happy emotions despite clearly having them. After I started identifying my own happy emotions more, he did too.

Also, I'm pretty fond of the A Little SPOT of Emotion books set for emotional identification and regulation.

Sorry that your experience at Harvard has not worked out yet. I say “yet”, because you are just starting out. I would highly recommend that you use the famous Harvard network and reach out to alumni who may have a similar background to yours. There are many successful first-generation Harvard grads who can help. Also, I suggest you read this book:

Pedigree: How Elite Students Get Elite Jobs https://www.amazon.com/dp/0691169276/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_KZ1AJKYJF4J6HRSE4S4K

Academic side of academia? Not sure what that means, but it sounds like an unhealthy reason to do a PhD, FWIW.

If you're serious about finding your way in academia, I recommend the book <em>A PhD Is Not Enough!</em>

You must read this book. Also, the market is down, if you think you’re getting an R1 tenure track position straight out unless you are beyond exceptional you are being naive. Jobs are getting hundreds of very qualified applicants.

https://www.amazon.com/Professor-Essential-Guide-Turning-Ph-D/dp/0553419420

Shifting to a growth mindset, helped me a lot.

Thanks for your feedback!

Well, it's hard-going in the beginning because of the stigma associated with dating sites in general, but we hope our reputation will speak for ourselves over time.

As to your suggestion: the quiz / site is inspired on work carried out by Reken and Pollock and the question is "where did you spend most of your *childhood*", as that has an incredibly deep impact on forming one's culture. Does that make sense to you?

polecam tę książkę lub jej polski odpowiednik. Nie jest to złośliwy komentarz, wręcz przeciwnie, widzę dobre myślenie, które po tej lekturze będzie ugruntowane ;).

Pozdrawiam

Thanks! I will say, my grades were by far the worst part of my profile since I had good work experience/undergrad/journal/etc. But as far as actual interviewing goes---I found this book extremely insightful and thought it tracked with my experience in OCI as well as recruiting for jobs during undergrad. Would recommend a read for anyone before they go through OCI!

>ser platforms, you'll be under constant critique but it is for the overall good. And like I mentioned, I am glad someone is trying to build a platform like this, it's an uphill battle that I think you'll have to climb differently. Anyways, good luck and PM me if you should have further questions.

Hi there,

Many thanks for the feedback, much appreciated!

OK, so our quiz measures the quiz taker's exposure to outside cultures, with a special emphasis on his or her formative years, which is the period during which one shapes his or her character. It is based on research carried out by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken (authors of Third Culture Kids) and it is a quick way to accesses whether an individual can be considered to be a TCK, and to what degree. It is by no means a complete and comprehensive assessment.

We had simplify things in order to be able to assign "grades", which in turn allows us to qualify the results as a way of ensuring that people who sign up have, indeed, had the TCK "experience" as it were.

There's another set of questions that the user needs to fill out on the website, which will provide further information about the person, what he or she is looking for in a partner, etc.

As to the site name: "vibes" denotes a certain energy / aura which we believe a TCK experiences when they are in the company of another TCK.

We are very excited about this project and we look forward to all and any feedback, so thanks again!

The company I work at is a great fan of Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck (Amazon Carol Dweck

Also Drive by Daniel Pink Amazon Drive Daniel Pink

They might be something that could help. Nice that you're looking out for them!

Sorry about formatting I'm on mobile

The company I work at is a great fan of Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck (Amazon Carol Dweck

Also Drive by Daniel Pink Amazon Drive Daniel Pink

They might be something that could help. Nice that you're looking out for them!

Sorry about formatting I'm on mobile

The company I work at is a great fan of Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck (Amazon Carol Dweck

Also Drive by Daniel Pink Amazon Drive Daniel Pink

They might be something that could help. Nice that you're looking out for them!

Sorry about formatting I'm on mobile

The company I work at is a great fan of Growth Mindset by Carol Dweck (Amazon Carol Dweck

Also Drive by Daniel Pink Amazon Drive Daniel Pink

They might be something that could help. Nice that you're looking out for them!

Sorry about formatting I'm on mobile

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1951287134?pd_rd_i=1951287134&amp;pd_rd_w=7i16W&amp;pf_rd_p=c948d1c4-2ace-4ebe-b463-b35b878b8e34&amp;pd_rd_wg=Bu3Xh&amp;pf_rd_r=72BYDS1P8XB9PQH0MH0Q&amp;pd_rd_r=a98e5ae4-6dc5-42bb-9643-487fb5b4e776