NTA but You can get around this two ways. Replace the whole knob with a locking one. Keep the old one and put it back when you leave. Or even easier buy a rubber wedge and put it under the door. Shepherd Hardware 9133 Heavy Duty Rubber Door Wedge, Brown https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00004YOHN/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_5zaDDbRN85DW1 $3.49 problem solved.
Have you tried something like this that will allow you to keep the door locked, even if she manages to unscrew and disassemble the knob? Actually, I think this might prevent her from doing that since it pushes inward on the knob.
This for me too, although I also have one of those security bars, like this, that I use to secure my bedroom door - because I watch too much Investigation Discovery.
I’m pretty sure I know something similar to the sticks you’re describing. You can get a high quality one for $20 off of Amazon: Master Lock Security Bar, Adjustable Door Security Bar. They’re telescoping/sliding metal pole thingies that you force under the doorknob (on your side of the door). You need to adjust the height of the rod to fight your doorknob snugly. This basically makes it impossible for anybody to enter from the other side unless they somehow destroy the door.
Edit: there’s also this: Doorricade Door Bar
Well, I live alone in a nice area and was the victim of a violent break-in a few months ago (he didn't expect me to be home). Anyway, while it is still traumatic, I have gotten to the point where I am not terrified to be alone anymore.
I lock my doors when I'm home and when I leave. I was broken into through my front door...I had forgotten to lock it when I took my dog out and that's how he got in.
I got one of these door stop things and nothing gets past it. It's helped me sleep better.
I got a couple of indoor security cameras and linked them to my phone. I look at the feeds if I'm away to check on my puppies. It also records and sends me a notification if motion is detected.
I also got a doorbell camera. I figure if anyone tries anything again, at least there will be good video footage of it.
Keep some pepper spray something by your bedside. Something to protect you.
If you have the time and inclination to get a large dog, they work wonders.
Get to know your neighbors. they're more likely to notice if anything is amiss and keep an eye out for you if you know each other.
Also, I haven't tried this, but I dated a cop a few years ago and one of the detectives in his dpt told me a good deterrent for women living alone is to place big, muddy men's work boots on the doorstep. If someone is hoping to break in and do something unsavory, they'll twice if they think a big burly guy is in there. Just a thought :)
These also work with no changes to get in trouble over.
I believe someone suggested this last time, but get a security door bar that you can use to keep the door from opening while you're at home. Quick, cheap, and you're not damaging or changing the property without the landlord's permission- it won't prevent unauthorized showings while you're out but it'll at least keep them from walking in on you while you're in bed again.
> When we told him that I use the futon as a couch or for entertaining guests, he told us that we have to text him in a clock in clock out fashion whenever guests enter the premises regardless of whether they spend the night.
Unless that requirement is listed in the lease I would tell him you're not going to do that.
> 1) What can I do regarding his random entrances? He’s already just walked into my apartment no knocking or announcement and I don’t doubt he will do it again.
Put a security stick on the door when you're home... that will prevent unwanted entry. Landlord cannot just randomly enter - as mentioned by /u/poolparty90019 it has to be with notice and for a specific purpose.
You should get a doorstop alarm. It’s a little wedge that goes under the door. When the door opens even slightly and presses against the wedge, it makes a piercing alarm sound. Might give you some peace of mind while you’re sleeping?
Also, it wouldn’t hurt to talk to your neighbor about this “friend”
As others have said, this is probably a tornado drill.
Those kids are sitting in the hallway, the exact opposite of what you'd do in an Active shooter drill/situation.
Active Shooter drills shelter in place in the room with the door closed and locked.
True fact, a friend of my daughter carries a rubber doorstop in her backpack so that if there's an active shooter she can jam it under the door from the inside and keep it closed even if the lock fails.
get a dog, alarm system.
you can buy cheap $20 door jam rods, they work for sliding and normal doors.
Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Adjustable from 27-1/2 in. to 44-1/2 in, White, Pack of 1 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0002YUX8I/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_phGFDbX79DSEG
strengthen your doors with longer lock screws and reinforced metal frame parts.
buy and train with a gun. have a family plan and drill and practice what you all should do.
get more motion sensor lights.
even if you don’t have them get those big warning stickers for gates and windows/doors that indicate you have a big ass dog and or a security system.
maybe you can find some half joking half serious sticker that has a picture of a pit bull ‘My Pitbull Will Bite and Never Let Go’
u/JazzlikeMammoth, here's a door stopper that we take with us when traveling.
Upgraded Door Stop Alarm -Great for Traveling Security Door Stopper Doorstop Safety Tools for Home https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01C0H0000/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_RK8XA33WT193NWDAFF61?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I just looked one up so can’t attest to this particular brand. My wife had one for her dorm I got her in college. I would recommend an alarm one because wedges can be defeated. If the door is too tall or the floor surface just isn’t right a wedge won’t stop someone at all. However, this should wake you up and discourage them. Also, I always put a piece of furniture and/or my suitcase in front of these doors.
I keep this behind my apartment door and my bedroom door (just in case 😅) Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Pack of 1, White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0002YUX8I/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_Z9BKKP8HKD9QDNDS619P?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
I use a door bar which is super sturdy, it would prevent even an attempted kick-in. Wishing you safety and peace of mind
Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Pack of 1, White https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0002YUX8I/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_3TDQQRWX74P4X8N6WQQ1
What about getting a door stop alarm? It’s not as impermeable as a lock if there’s an emergency.
It makes a piercing alarm sound if your stepdad tries to come in while you’re showering/changing clothes/just want some privacy.
Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01M0X4QM4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_Y04WSMTRBETYZJZZ3HQM?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
god that’s terrifying... all of sound like dangerous and terrifying situations. possible assulters, peeping toms, maybe robbers?? it’s freaking endless. sometimes it’s terrifying just being a woman... if i were you I’d absolutely get some protection and a dog before living on your own. it’s hard to raise a puppy but beyond worth it. sometimes just having a second set of senses is worth it, the company is very comforting too.
there’s also a stick that you can get for your door - one like this Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Adjustable from 27-1/2 in. to 44-1/2 in, White, Pack of 1 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0002YUX8I/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_IXNNDbKCQQYVZ
You can get a bar like this: https://www.amazon.com/Master-Lock-Security-Adjustable-White/dp/B0002YUX8I
You don't need to install anything so a landlord can't complain about you altering the apartment and no one will be able to open the door from the outside while it's against the door even if they have keys to all the locks.
That's truly awful- get one of those tourist doorstops that you can put on the inside of the door. Those can't be picked. Fuck 'not allowed'!
https://www.amazon.com/DoorJammer-Portable-Security-Personal-Protection/dp/B00N95IVSQ
Yikes! Consider getting yourself one of these for your apartment door -- that way, even if he somehow gets a key for it, he still can't get in while you're home.
There's even an alarmed door stopper for 7 bucks! That would hilariously scare her:
This depends, but usually no. The lock installed on your front door is extremely important for security. You can add a security bar such as this for when you are home, but it is no substitute for a good lock installed correctly.
Even if it's a good lock, if the landlord doesn't make a practice of rekeying the lock with each tenant, you have no idea who has a key to your apartment.
Change your lock. Check your lease to find the exact language. You may be able to change the lock without permission if the provisions against alterations are generic and you are in certain states, provided you give your landlord a key.
Otherwise, you could try to get permission to change it, provided that you give them a key. Most landlords are reasonable, especially if you keep asking about it. It's such an inconsequential alteration because you can just put the old lock back when done.
If they need further incentive, and it's particularly important to you, tell them you are installing a higher grade lock that they can keep when you move out. This probably won't work if it's a large company with many units, but for smaller landlords or if you are renting a house or something from its owner, that can often work.
I would not be able to sleep at night with a shitty landlord-installed kwikset on my door. I always put on my own lock, and it's never been an issue. One time I forgot to give my landlord a key, and it was a reasonably large property management company. They just asked me for a key and I gave them one and it wasn't an issue.
Also, when I'm talking about locks here, I specifically mean the deadbolt. The deadbolt is where you get your security, and it needs to be properly installed with the strike plate secured with long screws to the frame of the dwelling -- NOT just into the door jamb.
edit: I just realized you had a roommate who moved out. Yeah, you need to request your lock is rekeyed or replaced.
A door bar would definitely be a good investment. Heck, maybe one of the door stopper alarms like these on Amazon could be good for instances when you want to be sure that your neighbors know shit is going down immediately. Training the kids that the alarm means "Call 911 NOW!" without you having to say so could mean precious seconds gained when the police need to respond asap.
The neighborhood watch is a really good idea. If ur able to talk with the people that live directly by you, next door, across the hall, and let them know what has happened, possibly exchange numbers so you have people right by you to call if u get spooked. Maybe some can even step outside their apartment when you get home from work and wait till you get inside.
Also there are many different products like this doorjam hopefully I did the link correctly 1st time I’ve done one but that might help you feel little more secure. This is just an example I haven’t researched them so don’t know which ones are most effective.
Weird situation. I would think if people wanted to break in or do something else they wouldn’t draw so much attention to themselves beforehand but who knows. Glad your husband got some time off to stay with you. Sorry u have to deal with this idiot. I hope it stops and things get better for you guys, be safe.
For some peace of mind, you could also get a doorstop alarm - they’re like little wedges that you put in front of the door. When the door opens and puts pressure on the wedge, it makes the most piercing alarm noise. Would help if your neighbor has the keys and is trying to come into your apt
Your experience seriously sucks. I hear you loud and clear on the gun control point as well. I hope you don't mind a few questions:
Thanks much, and glad you and your girlfriend are OK. I also suggest investing in a door barricace. Even something like this could make a difference.
She's not entitled to use your things and her behavior to being denied your property is pretty scary. She seems dramatic about inconsequential things and dangerous in general if she's trying to physically assault people. Leaving the door unlocked is/was actively putting you in danger. I also wouldn't be surprised if she purposely slept with your friends to inconvenience you or hurt/get back at you for some imagined drama.
She's not your friend. Don't fall into that trap again. Don't add her back on social media, block her instead. She's selfish, has boundary issues, is prone to drama, and, worst of all, she's violent. Start video recording every single interaction you have with her, especially in situations like the one where she was calling you a bitch and trying to force her way into the room. If you need to seek legal action against her or call the police, having evidence is going to help you.
Unfortunately, you need to protect yourself from her until you can leave. Act nice, but be wary always. Don't move your stuff back into common areas, continue keeping it all in your room. Replace the screws that hold your door hinges to the frame with longer screws. Get a door security pole/bar or doorstop to keep her from forcing her way into your room. Start looking for a new place to live ASAP.
I’ve no idea about the harassment but I wanted to recommend getting a door stopper stick. I too have had maintenance enter my apartment when I was asleep. Super creepy! Master Lock 265D Door Security Bar, Adjustable from 27-1/2 in. to 44-1/2 in, White, Pack of 1, https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0002YUX8I/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_v-ArDb1K1R619
I think you should tell the neighbors now, and not just the one you saw him trying to get into because it's probably not just your apartment and theirs. There's no reason to wait for him to come back before you tell them. They should know there's someone coming around trying get into people's apartments.
Also, report it to the complex and ask them what they intend to do about it to keep you safe. If the doors/handles don't lock properly, tell them they need to be replaced, at their expense, with ones that are actually secure. Ask them if you can install a deadbolt that their maintenance people will put in if you supply the lock.
For now, you can get a door bar like this one that props under your door handle to stop the door from being opened.
If you have an unused phone lying around, there are apps that can turn it into a motion activated camera. If you have a front window, put it there with the camera facing out. If you're desperate, you can even tape it to your peephole. It should work. You can use painter's tape to keep it on the door and it won't leave residue or damage it.
You can also point an external webcam out the window to catch the guy. There are camera control apps that have motion activation.