8 seems a little unnecessarily young. I waited until my kid was around 10-11 and bought this book.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0763644846/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I really recommend it. It covers a lot of stuff and is very educational.
Big Mouth is a funny show but it's not an educational tool. I mean would you recommend your kid watching American Pie to learn about sex?
I strongly recommend you send her a copy of "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie H. Harris.
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> The definitive book about puberty and sexual health for today’s kids and teens, now fully updated for its twentieth anniversary.
>
>For two decades, this universally acclaimed book on sexuality has been the most trusted and accessible resource for kids, parents, teachers, librarians, and anyone else who cares about the well-being of tweens and teens. Now, in honor of its anniversary, It’s Perfectly Normal has been updated with information on subjects such as safe and savvy Internet use, gender identity, emergency contraception, and more. Providing accurate and up-to-date answers to nearly every imaginable question, from conception and puberty to birth control and STDs, It’s Perfectly Normal offers young people the information they need—now more than ever—to make responsible decisions and stay healthy.
​
The book title is "It's Perfectly Normal". I had never heard of it so I Googled it. It's sold by all major stores, including Target, Walmart, and Amazon.
It has a rating of 4 1/2 stars with 2,480 ratings, so it can't be too bad.
If you want to laugh, go look at the 1-star rating reviews. Lots of Karens are outraged. It's hilarious.
I guess they want their kids to learn about sex the old fashioned way... by secretly watching porn.
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729
Good morning weakpots, intermediatepots, and strongpots!
(tryna be inclusive here)
I'm taking a sick day. I'm only vaguely sick-ish, but real real tired. I noticed yesterday at like 2 p.m. I was ready for it to be bedtime.
I think I legit need a break.
In other news I got me some fitkicks. I've also been doing some foot exercises from the foot-health book that /u/mr_sweater mentioned a while back. Foot gains incoming 4 sure
You can google "first period kits" and see what it's included in those and make one for her. It would just require a quick stop at the store and would be a nice gesture. Usually they are a small bag/purse with a few different types of pads/liners/tampons, a small bottle of ibuprofen, some new undies, and maybe something fun like a bottle of nail polish or some chocolate. A heating pad is also nice. If you are also concerned with the messaging from your wife, go on amazon and get a book, something like this, that's specifically about puberty and starting her cycle. Or send her a link to a website geared towards that.
OP, this is very normal when you are going through puberty.
This book may help you during this confusing time: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library).
Definitely have a talk!
I’d also drop a few books in the bookcase that she can access that are she appropriate and informative. I really like it’s perfectly normal by Robbie H. Harris but there are loads out there
Having the talk is also helpful, but kids this age also don’t know what they don’t know so it’s nice to have a comprehensive book that they can peruse
We used this one and I honestly can say it has been amazing . So well written and helpful that it makes signing for anyone without prior knowlwdge a breeze.
https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Sign-Language-Made-Easy/dp/1641520779
My daughter started signing back right around her first birthday and by 18 months she could communicate all her needs (food, diaper change, milk, water, different snacks on top of just fun words) really well.
I'm reading this book because it's available for free on Kindle Unlimited: https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Sign-Language-Made-Easy/dp/1641520779
It's good so far, and it looks like the author also does video demonstrations on her website! Sorry to hear about your husband thinking that. :( I work with students with developmental delays, and it makes a difference for those with speech delays. Maybe find some videos of 1-2 year olds signing to help? I haven't brought it up to my husband yet, but since he's interested in different languages, I think he'll be on board?
There's a doctor in Sweden who wrote a book on how as little as 20 minutes of walking a day can have drastic, measurable beneficial impacts on your health.
https://www.amazon.com/Real-Happy-Pill-Power-Moving/dp/151072298X
That's one of the reasons I had to move to a mild climate city with mass transit. I now walk at least 40 minutes a day just going to and from work (bus/train whatever).
It's 7 minutes to the bus, then 5 minutes to walk from the bus to the train, then another 5 minutes from the train to the office.
From the office it's 5 minutes to the train, then 3 minutes to another bus, then 15 minutes from the bus to my house.
All this, because I can't bring myself to use a treadmill.
This is the one we have. His favorites are the hot chocolate breath and the color breath:) link
I think maybe work from a book like this:
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763644846
It’s designed for ages 10 and up. They do make other books for younger children. You could let him read it himself (check if his reading skills are enough to comprehend on his own) or you or his mother could read it to him.
If it is US sex education in school, it usually isn’t sufficient enough.
Walking/jogging/running about 30-45 min a few days a week brings such health and cognition benefits that it is actively downplayed and doubt-casted by Big Pharma:
https://www.amazon.com/Real-Happy-Pill-Power-Moving/dp/151072298X/ref=sr\_1\_2?qid=1660662095&refinements=p\_27%3AAnders+Hansen&s=books&sr=1-2
It's Perfectly Normal was the best book for both my son and daughter. It's explains so many things and allows for a conversation and 12 is a great time for it. As for the labia situation, all you need to say is every girl/women has a variation just like every other part of the body. I believe during puberty the labia becomes more visible and I recall back at that age being a bit freaked out by it too. Letting her know that many parts of her body are going to change and she should always feel free to chat with you openly is the best you can do. Good luck.
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763644846
I’m pasting a link to the book below. It was very good. It handles the controversial topics in a factual and unemotional way, and leaves it to you to explain your position. It honestly didn’t feel to me like there was any bias there. My kiddo’s therapist said she started reading this with her kids when they were 6, but it’s great for all ages (IMHO). It's Perfectly Normal: Changing... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668729?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Are you in therapy to work on your dissociation? The best thing you can do for your sons is to get help for yourself - put on your own oxygen mask first, so to speak.
In the short term, you might try to find activities to do with your boys that require active engagement from you, so you can't get as lost in your head. Tossing a ball back and forth is something I find to be very grounding, for example. Physical interaction, like giving them piggy back rides or balancing them on your legs, can be grounding as well. You might even look up some fun parent/child yoga ideas. Being outdoors together and focusing on sensory experiences, like grass under your bare feet or water running through your hands, can be both grounding for you and fun for them. In fact, you might look into some kids mindfulness activities, which would be great skills for both you and them to practice! Your 2yo might be a bit young, but you could start with a book like Breathe Like a Bear or Mindfulness for Little Ones.
Check out an age-appropriate book like It's Perfectly Normal. Read through it together with the kiddo, breaking it into sections so they're not totally overwhelmed. Answer questions, talk about how it might apply to their own life (what would you do in this situation, etc). Make sure they have a chance to look through the book on their own as well.
I have an 11 year old daughter.
If the way you articulated it to her is as you wrote it in this post that could be part of the issue. You put all of the emphasis on wanting to look different rather than articulating how you feel and why you plan to transition. Right now it's possible that her understanding of your transition is that mom wants to look like a man rather than mom is a man.
I recently had my daughter read a wonderful book that covers issues she will soon be facing in puberty - including an extensive chapter on sexuality and gender. LGBTQ issues are not new to her, they are something we have discussed with her from a very young age. Highly recommend, by the way.
When we were discussing transgender people after she read that chapter, I told her that our friend Alice is transgender, which I assume my daughter already knew as she has met Alice many times. For context: Alice is a transgender woman who is very early in her transition. Her response: REALLY?!
It never occurred to my kid that Alice was trans because kids of that age don't notice nuance like this unless they are taught to (usually by parents who are prejudiced). It is entirely possible that your child likewise does not really see or understand your transgender family members to be transgender.
(Adding because it's adorable: That REALLY?! was followed by THAT'S SO COOL!)
If I'm off the mark and you think your child has enough of an understanding of transgender issues to understand the nuance in the conversation that you had, then I agree with the other comments. It might just be a hard adjustment for her since it is her own parent. It might also bring up gender questions of her own since it is her formerly same-gendered parent who is transitioning.
I hope none of this comes across as criticism. You're doing great as a parent an a human.
I use this book (it’s ASL) and it is great!! Baby Sign Language Made Easy: 101 Signs to Start Communicating with Your Child Now https://www.amazon.com/dp/1641520779/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_34PKNZ3ZFXCRJ1NEKMR4
IIRC, there’s a boy version of the care and keeping of you but it wasn’t that awesome. I recommend reading whichever book you choose and then filling in the gaps. Just keep things matter of fact and you will be fine. Been through this twice.
This one looks promising: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) https://smile.amazon.com/dp/0763668729/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_EDRMWM52FVERTRFYKW1T
This is a series of three books, each tailored for a different age range. All are good. Having the "younger" one wouldn't hurt, just might cover stuff they think they "should" already know. Kids are weird.
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729
You might want to dig into that.
I would start with this.
I read this book authored by a Swedish doctor of medicine. It is highly motivational, because he goes over the link between neurology and exercise. Despite that, it's an easy read adapted for a broad public. You'll learn the benefits of running, how to maximise your brain gains and how running can be an effective treatment for a lot of mental health issues. (he is not an advocate of replacing other treatments with exercise, or saying pills are bad, it is a sober and balanced view based on a large number of replicated studies)
I put off reading it for years because it doesn't sound very captivating when you hear about it. But trust me, you're not gonna put the book down once you start reading.
https://www.amazon.com/Real-Happy-Pill-Power-Moving/dp/151072298X
Don’t ask him about it because what’s there to say really? It’s obvious what he’s doing lol. You’ll just end up mortifying him and he’ll end up being one of those weird kids that try to hide that they masturabte and instead of crusty underwear it’ll be bedsheets or you’ll find messes on the carpet..Just nonchalantly start buying Kleenex and leave one in each bedroom and say it’s bc cold weather is approaching. If you do want to have some sort of talk with him about sex in general, I’d advice to get a book to help. There’s plenty of books for boys to help them during this age.
NTA! Your ex sucks. She ignored your daughter’s call when she needed her the most. That’s just plain awful. Your delivery wasn’t great, but I think it was justified.
Also, OP, your ex has proven to you she can’t be relied on when it comes to your daughters’ sexual health. It’s great you made sure to teach your youngest daughters about periods as well, but your oldest is almost a teenager, so you’ll have to be much more proactive about the other stuff. Don’t just assume she’s going to learn from her mum or at school. That’s how STDs and teenage pregnancy happen! If it’s hard to start the dialogue, just buy her a really good book appropriate for her age, such as this one:
(It would be appropriate for the 10 year old too!)
Tell her to read it and to come to you with any questions she has. My mum bought it for me in my last year of elementary school. I was really embarrassed when she gave it to me (sex, yuck!), but as soon as I was alone, I read the whole thing!
Keep up the good work OP!
This sounds like the book It's Perfectly Normal, aimed at ages 10+, has a little cartoon bird and bee commenting along the sides who start out uncomfortable at the beginning of the book and learn to ask questions and be more open by the end. I was taught with it, and I recommend it all the time. It even has a section about HIV, and specifically, the ways that HIV doesn't spread and how you can still hug, play, and hang out with your HIV+ friends and you shouldn't shame them for it because it isn't shameful, but that an HIV diagnosis can be scary, so it's even more important to spend time with your HIV+ friends and show them you love and care about them. It also has a great variety in the illustrations of bodies of all different ages, races, sizes, ability, and more.
It's here on Amazon, or, better, you should inquire at your local bookstore to buy it from them if they carry it: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668729/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_sm90EbHQT7XD9
Get a basic book. Maybe something like this? And maybe a book about consent.
How do the protalus compare to the superfeet? Do you like them more? I got some altra 0 drop shoes and they seem to help (I get some pf pain after running).
I got some superfeet blue for my walking shoes but I'm hesitant to use them due to fear of becoming dependent on them.
I'm trying the stretches/exercises/toe spacers mentioned in this subreddit and going through this book now:
Simple Steps to Foot Pain Relief: The New Science of Healthy Feet https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1942952821/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_aJzeCbJ5G1W0N
I want to try foot and arch strengthening before I get dependent on orthotics bc that seems like treating the symptom not the cause.
Also recommend the book Breathe Like a Bear and the app Stop, Breathe & Think for Kids, which both have some great simple meditations.