8 seems a little unnecessarily young. I waited until my kid was around 10-11 and bought this book.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0763644846/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1
I really recommend it. It covers a lot of stuff and is very educational.
Big Mouth is a funny show but it's not an educational tool. I mean would you recommend your kid watching American Pie to learn about sex?
I strongly recommend you send her a copy of "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie H. Harris.
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> The definitive book about puberty and sexual health for today’s kids and teens, now fully updated for its twentieth anniversary.
>
>For two decades, this universally acclaimed book on sexuality has been the most trusted and accessible resource for kids, parents, teachers, librarians, and anyone else who cares about the well-being of tweens and teens. Now, in honor of its anniversary, It’s Perfectly Normal has been updated with information on subjects such as safe and savvy Internet use, gender identity, emergency contraception, and more. Providing accurate and up-to-date answers to nearly every imaginable question, from conception and puberty to birth control and STDs, It’s Perfectly Normal offers young people the information they need—now more than ever—to make responsible decisions and stay healthy.
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The book title is "It's Perfectly Normal". I had never heard of it so I Googled it. It's sold by all major stores, including Target, Walmart, and Amazon.
It has a rating of 4 1/2 stars with 2,480 ratings, so it can't be too bad.
If you want to laugh, go look at the 1-star rating reviews. Lots of Karens are outraged. It's hilarious.
I guess they want their kids to learn about sex the old fashioned way... by secretly watching porn.
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763668729
Perinatal personal trainer here, specializing is DR repair.
As mentioned, coning is an indicator. Also an outtie belly button can be an indicator, though not always. In certain clothes, you may even be able to see the linea Alba widening. Avoid the crunch test for now, as it's better for post partum. Basically. There's not much point in stressing about it now. You are either going to get or not, but focus on the following to minimize impact and severity:
Deep diaphragmatic breathing where you hug the baby with your abs on the exhale.
Pelvic tilts, standing or on the ball (my fave)..make sure you feel the core pulling the pelvis on the forward tilt
Avoid bending over to pick things up: SQUAT!!! Putting load on the low back and belly makes it worse
Make sure your posture is as good as can be and avoid shifting from hip to hip (like when carrying a toddler on one hip)
Foam Roll your hips and stretch the hips and psoas as much as you can. These muscles can tighten and possibly pull the gap wider.
If you can still do some side plank lifts without your belly coming or pushing out, do it. Dont do them if you cant control your core anymore.
Minimize twisting as much as possible . (Russian twists are a big no no)
No forward planking, crunching or pullups now - gentle core work only for the time being esp in 3rd trimester.
There are a ton of books on the subject. Here is one of my faves:
Diastasis Recti: The Whole Body Solution to Abdominal Weakness and Separation https://www.amazon.com/dp/098965396X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_hZv0Ab2WG2BWT
I highly recommend Katy Bowman's work on Diastasis recti. It seems like she's the only one who actually knows what she's doing, what actually causes it, and dispels a lot of myths.
I had the best intentions to stay keto/low-carb during the first trimester, but my nausea was so crippling and the only thing that I could keep down was salt & vinegar chips. So I lived on those and sugar free vitamin water for basically 8 weeks. The remainder of my pregnancy was low-carb once my Hyperemesis Gravidarum subsided.
Check out the book Real Food for Pregnancy - There is a lot of science showing that you really only need about 50g of glucose while the baby is in utero. After that, you can eat as low-carb as your body feels comfortable eating. (And as low-carb as your doctors are okay with you being given your medical situation.)
You can google "first period kits" and see what it's included in those and make one for her. It would just require a quick stop at the store and would be a nice gesture. Usually they are a small bag/purse with a few different types of pads/liners/tampons, a small bottle of ibuprofen, some new undies, and maybe something fun like a bottle of nail polish or some chocolate. A heating pad is also nice. If you are also concerned with the messaging from your wife, go on amazon and get a book, something like this, that's specifically about puberty and starting her cycle. Or send her a link to a website geared towards that.
Not sure if you're interested in baby led feeding but if so I got lots of recipes and help from this book: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0544963407/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_i_2YHY10RTWEYJ4551HGW8.
It went really well with my girls, and it was nice to not have to rely on spoon feeding both of them at the same time all the time.
OP, this is very normal when you are going through puberty.
This book may help you during this confusing time: It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (The Family Library).
Definitely have a talk!
I’d also drop a few books in the bookcase that she can access that are she appropriate and informative. I really like it’s perfectly normal by Robbie H. Harris but there are loads out there
Having the talk is also helpful, but kids this age also don’t know what they don’t know so it’s nice to have a comprehensive book that they can peruse
The only things I can stomach right now are bread and cheese, potatoes, cheerios and fruit. And Ensure. My diet is typically 75% plant based (lots of veggies, whole grains, legumes) so its radically different from what i'm used to. FWIW the same thing happened to me in my first pregnancy and after about 16 weeks I was able to go back to my normal diet with no problems. If you or your husband wants to get scientific about it, I've heard good things about Real Food for Pregnancy, which is evidenced based nutrition for pregnant people. Even this author, who is a nutrition expert, says that the first trimester is all about survival!
A nutritionist suggested I read the book "Real Food for Pregnancy: The Science and Wisdom of Optimal Prenatal Nutrition." It has good suggestions about how to eat to for optimal mom and baby health.
If you want to start, though, why not start now? Why wait a few weeks?
Check out resources on regulation and co-regulation! A lot of this sounds like typical 4 year old behavior.
I would also highly suggest the book “Ages & Ages”. It is a solid resource for understanding typical development in five different domains of development, including social and emotional domains”.
Children at this age beginning to recognize physical differences in people around them. It’s a perfect age to begin teaching them socially acceptable ways of dealing with their observations. For example, as a reply to “That person is ugly, fat, etc.” I’d say to my then 4 year old, “That may be, but it’s not ok to say these things [potentially upsetting/offensive descriptors] because it can hurt a person’s feelings. You can tell me quietly if you need to say it out loud.”
As for butts, kind of similar. They’re noticing parts of their and other’s bodies. As a way to understand the root of the drawings, I used to ask my child, “Tell me about that drawing. What made you think about drawing that.” If it was something like “It’s a butt. I saw your butt when we were changing.” - totally fine. If it’s something that gives you pause or makes you uncomfortable, that’s a time to question the ‘art’.
(Source: I’ve been a early childhood educator for 15 years, MA in ECE and Special Education)Ages & Stages
Really good baseline. There’s a ton more but these are like the bare minimum in my mind. Like I don’t even know what other parents do without having read these two a few times all the way through before their first kid is born. Not being weird, I literally don’t know what other people do.
I think maybe work from a book like this:
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763644846
It’s designed for ages 10 and up. They do make other books for younger children. You could let him read it himself (check if his reading skills are enough to comprehend on his own) or you or his mother could read it to him.
If it is US sex education in school, it usually isn’t sufficient enough.
YO. You are fucking KILLING it.
I love it. Ahhh I am so fucking proud of you and hype at your proactiveness!!
I got two things for you that I have a feeling you will be into:
https://www.va.gov/WHOLEHEALTH/veteran-handouts/docs/ProgressMuscleRelax__Final508_11-13-2018.pdf This is a pdf worksheet for self-guided muscle relaxation and meditation. The VA hooked me up with it and it seriously changed my life. I use it 3-4 times a day, to just re-set and center myself. After 5 times you'll have it memorized and won't need the pdf.
This is a book rec, that I feel goes really well with what to expect. Ages and Stages: A Parent's Guide to Normal Childhood Development Paperback – August 15, 2000 by Charles E. Schaefer (Author), Theresa Foy DiGeronimo (Author)
I don't want to talk too much and sound overbearing, but I found this book really helpful when trying to understand what I should be eating/not eating when pregnant: https://www.amazon.ca/Real-Food-Pregnancy-Prenatal-Nutrition/dp/0986295043
In my experience it's really hard to eat when you're pregnant sometimes as there can be so many aversions, so do what you can and be gentle with yourselves inshallah
I’m a couple weeks ahead of you, these two books so far have been helpful. So many myths out there and felt like we’re head of the curve by figuring out diet and then some falsity checks
Real Food for Pregnancy: The... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0986295043?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
Expecting Better: Why the... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0143125702?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
I'm not at this point yet, but my friend who has a 9.5 month old loves this book: Baby-Led Feeding: A Natural Way to Raise Happy, Independent Eaters
It's Perfectly Normal was the best book for both my son and daughter. It's explains so many things and allows for a conversation and 12 is a great time for it. As for the labia situation, all you need to say is every girl/women has a variation just like every other part of the body. I believe during puberty the labia becomes more visible and I recall back at that age being a bit freaked out by it too. Letting her know that many parts of her body are going to change and she should always feel free to chat with you openly is the best you can do. Good luck.
https://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763644846
I’m pasting a link to the book below. It was very good. It handles the controversial topics in a factual and unemotional way, and leaves it to you to explain your position. It honestly didn’t feel to me like there was any bias there. My kiddo’s therapist said she started reading this with her kids when they were 6, but it’s great for all ages (IMHO). It's Perfectly Normal: Changing... https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763668729?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share
We started with purees and some attempts at BLW (that all ended up on the floor lol)
There's nothing wrong with doing a mix and seeing what's good for you. I recommend this book- https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Led-Feeding-Natural-Independent-Eaters/dp/0544963407/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?adgrpid=109498160827&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI64XFn8Ph9wIVhmpvBB1mLg8rEAAYASAAEgIhvvD_BwE&hvadid=455795486785&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=9007215&hvn... ( Sorry long link)
Also, definitely get a drop cloth or something to put under the high chair so cleanup is less of a pain. There are also a lot of bib options to keep baby from getting too messy. The best one is the grabease all over bib for coverage, with the down side that my baby hates it lol plus you won't be able to use suction plates with it. We've had success with the smock style bib and a lot of people swear by the silicone bib that has a little pocket so food falls into it instead of baby's lap.
I made a LONG post below about my personal experiences, but wanted to add this... there are cookbooks out there for "sneaking" healthier ingredients into your kid's diet. One I always remember was written by actor Jerry Seinfeld's wife Jessica:
Deceptively Delicious: Simple Secrets to Get Your Kids Eating Good Food
https://www.amazon.com/Deceptively-Delicious-Simple-Secrets-Eating/dp/006176793X/
I second this! It’s amazing.
I also found this book really helpful: Baby-Led Feeding: A Natural Way to Raise Happy, Independent Eaters https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0544963407/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_DCKRVR9QKCTS58KSN9XV
Between the two you’re all set.
Just FYI, when I was looking for info 13 years ago, Dr James Clapp was about the only person who was actually conducting research with pregnant athletes. From memory, he found that there was no evidence to substantiate the common recommendation to limit your heart rate or intensity. The major concern I remember was overheating but other than that, the mother’s body apparently compensates very well. Recommendations may have changed but here’s his book from back then: https://www.amazon.ca/Exercising-Through-Pregnancy-James-Clapp/dp/1936374331
I like Baby Led Feeding a lot. My kids have liked everything that I’ve made so far (2 year old included!) Happy Healthy Eaters also has some really good recipes.
In the US, fully 42% of food-borne illness is from fresh fruits + vegetables (primarily leafy greens), but there are never warnings to avoid fresh produce in pregnancy.
I recommend grabbing a copy of Real Food for Pregnancy by Lily Nichols
Hi! I've been thinking about this lately as well and, at least in my case, I do think my weak core is a big part of the problem and why I've had only minimal results on the PF front so far. It sometimes feel like I'm holding myself upright by contracting/tensing my pelvic floor, if that makes sense.
I'm 42 with only one kiddo (also C-section, he's 4 now), but my entire core has fallen soooo far from what it used to be. I, too, have been very cautious about doing direct ab work because even though my DR is very mild, I can feel it pulling when I do things like crunches, which I know isn't healthy.
Have you spoken with your pelvic floor PT about ab work? It might be worth seeing a PT specifically for diastasis recti (even if you don't technically have it) because they may be able to guide you on core-strengthening exercises that will help build that support back up without causing further damage to your abs.
And similar to what another commentor said, proper posture is a HUGE part of the entire system. I have a book called Diastasis Recti: The Whole-Body Solution by Katy Bowman and it does a really good job of explaining what proper posture looks and feels like. Even though it's about DR in particular, I think it's a good resource because it walks you through a safe way to do post-pregnancy/birth core work without causing further damage.
Good luck! <3
Check out an age-appropriate book like It's Perfectly Normal. Read through it together with the kiddo, breaking it into sections so they're not totally overwhelmed. Answer questions, talk about how it might apply to their own life (what would you do in this situation, etc). Make sure they have a chance to look through the book on their own as well.