Looking at the summary of that book on Amazon...
They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I'm going to do the opposite, be very judgmental here and say that this summary doesn't fill me with the hope that this is a measured take on ED recovery or healthy lifestyle habits. It seems like precisely the sort of summary that'd be a motherlode of fatlogic. Maybe I'm wrong and it's just bait to get HAES advocates to read it, who knows?
Still, the message of the person writing this... Yeah, an anorexic probably needs to let go of the fear of gaining a healthy amount of weight. But you know what? It's been said here before, by ED sufferers, that nothing makes an anorexic run away in screaming panic from the thought of treatment and recovery quite like the idea that they'll end up obese.
Yeah, if you're BMI 15, you need to let go of the fear of gaining weight. If you're BMI 25, not so much.
The Amazon reviews confirm that's the direction the book goes in.
>An utter heresy, of course, but a perfectly factual account of how the KKK came into being and why boys are still raised to respect only females and smite other males who would dare challenge one. It has been this way for hundreds of years at least; the Klan cult was just one modern reaffirmation of an ancient chivalric code for the oncoming industrial age. Modern feminism is merely the latest velvet affectation of the code, nicely masking the state-sanctioned subjugation, disposal and murder of men. If you want to know why there are more boys than girls born, but within 60 years between a quarter and a third of those males are dead, read this.
The guy also wrote masterworks of sociology like "Female Sex Predators: A Crime Epidemic" and "How to Avoid False Accusations of Rape: Self Defense in the Feminist State".
Order this book from Amazon and send it anonymously as a "gift" to him at the office. If confronted, deny all knowledge of it.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IWGQ8PU/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i3
In dem Buch The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life gibt's ein eigenes Kapitel für genauso Menschen wie dich. Ich hab das Kapitel damals nur milde interessiert gelesen weil es für mich nicht relevant war, aber ich bin mir sicher dass es dir (so wie andere Kapitel in dem Buch mir) weiterhelfen kann.
Ich hab das Buch auf Englisch gelesen, aber auf Amazon gibt es das auch auf Deutsch: Die Kinderentscheidung: Wie Sie die wichtigste Entscheidung Ihres Lebens treffen.
Vielleicht magst du auch Mal in ein paar subreddits stöbern, vielleicht kannst du dich mit ein paar Posts dort identifizieren. r/fencesitters und r/singleparents vielleicht?
I’d recommend checking out this book or something similar: https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=854c308a-f183-45da-963a-d5771841e877
It has some good thinking exercises to help you drill down on the reasons why you want a kid and help you make sure it happens for the right reasons. Remember, you’re not just having a baby, you’re becoming a parent.
> But the way I see it, if it’s not 100% certainty, then you shouldn’t do it, right?
Very few people have 100% confidence in whether they want kids or not. You just have to figure out which decision you’re least likely to regret. I found this book to be quite helpful in figuring it out.
If you’ll want kids and she won’t, it’s unlikely to work out in the long term. But you have a lot of time to figure it out, there’s no rush.
I’m convinced there was a pregnancy pact this year that everyone except me was in on, so I feel you. I just worked through a book that I felt was really helpful at figuring out my feelings on if I actually wanted a kid or it was just peer pressure. It was “The Baby Decision” by Merle Bombardieri and it was really unbiased imo. It’s definitely something you can work through on your own and just use it to guide the conversation if your partner doesn’t want to do homework.
This book helped a number of my partners . It was a great read for me as a man to understand what women may be going through also. The book is from the 70's but women's bodies haven't changed much. I will add that if you can learn to make yourself orgasm you can much more easily guide a partner later to what works for you. Good luck!
The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Female Sexuality https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00541YVZ0/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_V3FWK3BMK9W0H2M41MKK
Just wanted to suggest -- Both you and your husband could try working thru The Baby Decision book (https://www.amazon.in/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6). It might help to gain a better perspective.
That’s exactly where she should apply logic.
You need to pick up a book about deciding on parenthood (link below). Your girlfriend’s thought process is exactly what you should be doing too. It’s not fair to bring children into your home without proper thought and preparation. YTA.
https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6
Seat belts were designed for the average man. They did not take women's heights into account. So seat belts are too high for the average woman.
Not at all! I did read more than one, but I'm fairly sure this is the right one.
The Baby Decision: How to Make The Most Important Choice of Your Life by Merle Bombardieri
Not all of the advice in it was great for me, but some parts were really helpful. I think the thing about mourning a different life path is applicable to many things in life, so that really stuck with me.
I've never been pregnant, so I can't answer any questions about that. But it jumped out to me when you said you're not genuinely excited about the baby. Pregnancy is definitely tough but it's also ~9 months compared to ~20 years of actually raising a child. So separate from pregnancy/childbirth, is child-REARING something you want to do?
I highly recommend reading The Baby Decision with your husband if you haven't already. They have a ton of exercises to help you separate all the different aspects of parenthood (pregnancy, birth, early childhood, later childhood, impacts on the rest of your life, etc. etc.) and help you get a clear picture of where you stand.
I totally recognize that the pregnancy and newborn phase scares you, but it may be helpful to put that in context with all the other phases and impacts of parenthood to decide if you think it's worth it for you.
I highly recommend the book "The Baby Decision." It has a lot of questions / activities to help you decide if you want to be a parent at all. It's written by a licensed social worker. It's also open to different types of parenthood, such as foster/adoption. My plan is to adopt when I'm almost 40 because I, too, believe I'm a prime candidate for PPD problems and don't want bio kids. The book was still helpful for me to realize that I do in fact want to be a mom, but definitely not any time soon.
https://www.amazon.com/Hate-Men-must-read-feminism-patriarchy-ebook/dp/B08JYMZ6QF
That is called "I Hate Men."
There were many things from feminists like Sally Miller Gearhart who said, "The population of males needs to be reduced to 10%." Paraphrasing a bit but it was very close to that.
NTA
Actually, Matt was sexist. His default assumption was that the shirt was Terry’s. He didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt like he would have with a man.
There’s another thing. Many times these tech events get one size fits all T-shirts. That means that most women get these huge ill fitting shirts that they can only wear as nightgowns. It is the part of sexism that defaults to the man as the standard.
And another thing - you minimized the rebuke by making a joke. You gave him an “out” and he is the one escalating it.
There’s a great book discussing this called <em>Invisible Women - Data bias in a World Designed for Men</em>. It shows how women are actually maimed and killed by the default male model.
Don’t you dare back down! What you did was perfect. I say this as a woman engineer that had hoped to see more change in the over 30 years I’ve been practicing my trade.
We need to be able to rely on each other, not be bullied by someone else's abusive and intrusive belief system!
I'm hoping to locate a medical professional willing to teach women how to perform abortions for each other. Instructions and guidelines on the process and appropriate techniques will save thousands of women's lives if Roe v. Wade is taken away from us.
Education is critical -- for example, many women are unaware than doctors (and law enforcement) have no way of determining if a pregnant woman took mifepristone and misoprostol (RU-486) or miscarried naturally.
Of course, it's far better to have a doctor or nurse perform the abortion in a safe, clean environment. But realistically, very few medical professionals will risk their licenses to practice AND a prison sentence! We can't go back to the bad ol' days of coathangers and massive infections that leave women sterile... or dead.
Fear and shame are not birth control... EDUCATION is the only thing that will keep us safe from having our bodies used by others.
I recommend reading "The Story of Jane -- The legendary underground feminist abortion service" by Laura Kaplan. The book is available on Amazon Kindle for $14.95 at https://www.amazon.com/Story-Jane-Legendary-Underground-Feminist-ebook/dp/B01N09XN9M/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=The+Story+of+Jane&qid=1630091190&s=books&sr=1-1.
There’s a really good book called “The Baby Decision” by Merle Bombardieri
It is written for all ages, genders, sexual orientations, single people, married people, natural conception, adoption, IVF, etc.
It’s very therapeutic and walks you through things to think about and ask yourself and your partner in order to get you closer to making a decision. Obviously It doesn’t tell you what decision to make. But it shows you the path with questions and examples.
The Baby Decision: How to Make the Most Important Choice of Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FSZ51J6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_R4HXKAACNV1M4RTZY05N?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
No, the author says that other people might think that, and then goes on to dismiss them.
>These critics rightly insist on an analysis of male power as institutional, not narrowly personal or individual or biologically based in male bodies.
She's using the fun leftist double speak. We can't blame all men on a individual level, just all men on a societal level. Which means nothing other than she doesn't want to admit the her hate filled supremacist she is.
Here's another fun one, it's an entire book: https://www.amazon.com/Hate-Men-must-read-feminism-patriarchy-ebook/dp/B08JYMZ6QF
"The Baby Decision" is a good book on the topic: https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Decision-Make-Important-Choice-ebook/dp/B01FSZ51J6
There's also a subreddit dedicated to people hesitant to have kids: https://www.reddit.com/r/Fencesitter
I'm not sure how old you are, but I think a lot of millennials in the U.S. feel this way. I'm 32 and just now looking at buying a house — my parents bought their house a good five or six years earlier than I am. The crazy economy/job market and student loan debt have set a lot of people in my generation back. Sometimes it can seem like those lucky few (wealthy people, celebrities) have gotten their adult card earlier than the rest of us. But you are far from alone.
Though there's nothing wrong with seeing how famous people manage their lives, I wouldn't compare yourself to them. Obviously they may have money and resources that you might not have access to that make this decision easier (re: full-time nannies.) Have you read The Baby Decision? It really helped me sort through what I think vs what other people think — and it doesn't push you toward having a child or being CF.
Here's the link for the book on Amazon:
Feminists are pretty upfront about it.
I don't undertsand why people care so much about defending a word.
I find that language so interesting . . . does one also "commit" an IUD placement? Or is that word just chosen because it makes the mind go to the phrase "commit a sin"?
There's good reason to allow other medical practitioners to perform abortions- because they can! The first-trimester abortion procedure is pretty straightforward and easy for a trained medical professional (heck, even for trained laypeople) and research shows that it can be done just as safely by nurse practitioners, physician's assistants, and certified nurse midwives as it can by physicians.
Well... it's a standard formula for some women to sell books. Make up some shit off the top of your head about gender relations which has no basis in reality. Then go on talk shows and start a "controversy." An example:
I also remember a woman who went on 'Politically Correct with Bill Maher' to sell a book claiming that women were actually hornier than men LOL.
As you can imagine, this method does not work nearly as well for the male side of the gender war.
I recommend We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. It's around 70 pages and it's a great little intro to feminism.
I wouldn't say I'm trying to "convert" my boyfriend to the darkside, but I'd at least like him to be aware of certain things. I mean, it's annoying if you're openly campaigning for someone to change their mind about something. We're also long-distance and send each other books on Kindle, so I sent him We Should All Be Feminists. He read it and liked it!