Simply put, I hate it - I'd rather go back to the world of a few years ago where everything was a micro-transaction, at least I knew what I was getting.
It's an insidious practice that preys on minors with "gambling*-light*" and also to those prone to problem gambling.
I've read this book on how video poker/slot machines are designed to foster addiction - all/most lootbox systems in games use similar tactics - especially the "near miss" tactic where it shows you almost got an epic/legendary item (but didn't)
To add insult to injury, game publishers are forcing designers to build their games around micro-transaction economies, normal "free" progression in many games is screwed now - it end's up being a "reach deeper into your pocket for a chance at the full experience" situation.
It’s not about traditional video games, but you 100% need to read Addiction by Design: https://www.amazon.com/Addiction-Design-Machine-Gambling-Vegas/dp/0691160880/ref=nodl_
Goes into the psychology behind addiction, and now slot machines have been designed to exploit it. It’s both disgusting and weirdly inspirational as a game designer.
There are books written about the bells and whistles casinos employ in slot machines to get people addicted. It’s quite interesting
https://www.amazon.com/Addiction-Design-Machine-Gambling-Vegas/dp/0691160880
What really helps in the beginning is, try to find a way to not acces the bank/salary. I know it sounds childish but if you can't acces you can't gamble. Film yourself now and talk to yourself how you feel today. Watch it every day.
Read this book and listin to the audiobook
https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Gambling-Control/dp/1782124489
You need to change your perspective
There is a book called "Brain Lock" on the treatment of obsessive-compulsive disorder which you may find helpful. It shows that the brain can change with treatment. There is hope.
OCD may be a component of hoarding behavior and you may find the approach described would be useful.
Here is a link to the Amazon listing so you can check a preview of it.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01CY3A8V6/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Yes, I would be concerned for your safety. Addicts, especially those on such a mild altering drug like alcohol, that can cause blackouts too, can be very unpredictable, irrational, and do things they normally wouldn't do.
Having an angry drunk who's prone to bursts of anger now having access to knives, carrying them around with them, and threatening ppl with them is not a joke. (And the whole claiming it is a joke, it's called gaslighting, which is a known manipulation tactic, especially with addicts).
It sounds like your husband needs help. You cannot get him sober. An addict needs clear boundaries, clear consequences for breaking those boundaries/keeping to them, and you need to consistently apply them.
Depending on how long he's been drinking, and how much, just stopping may kill him. He needs a medical detox.
I think you need to go. And should bring any children involved with you. You cannot do this alone, you cannot do this without support, you cannot do this without help for yourself either. You need a detox from your addict and a rehabilitation for your own experiences with this.
I definitely recommend the book, that's horribly titled, Get Your Loved One Sober
Nope, it's just your obsessive compulsive disorder combined with your body dysmorphia disorder.
It's OCD because you keep posting this same thing over and over. Read Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz to help get it under control.
You look slightly older, which I should hope so because 5-6 years has passed. I'd be worried if you didn't look older at all. It's normal for people to look older when several years pass. It's called aging. It happens to everyone. It's normal. Some guys have gone fully bald in the same time span. You're lucky you still have hair.
I don't know about getting into AA -- as everyone says, people kind of have to want to go themselves.
However, as far as getting people into treatment for alcohol use disorder, there is always an intervention!
Interventions are actually not generally super successful, a more successful thing is CRAFT (community reinforcement and family treatment).
You can find a therapist that knows about it. You can also learn about it yourself.
Start working in your own recovery. Go to a family support group and learn about boundaries. Read the CRAFT book.
https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Loved-One-Sober/dp/1592850812/ref=monarch_sidesheet
It's really worth talking to your doctor! In the meantime, this was a book that really helped me. It isn't a substitute for talking to a professional, but it might help bridge the gap. If money is an issue send me a DM and I'd be happy to buy you a copy.
Gambling? You just need to realize you're always mathematically doomed to lose money.
There's an EasyWay book on how to quit gambling btw: https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Gambling-Control/dp/1782124489
Don't know if it'll work.
17m super into traditional card and tile games, made 2 for National Day:
So Far So Good & HiMiLoDì (WIP) (for r/SGraws and SG respectively)
and a few Singapore-themed ones after I realised Singapore has close to no history in card gaming other than 大二, Mahjong (SG, Chinese and MCR) and French suited games have fallen out of favour with the general population.
^(their game or ours?!)
What we should understand is that we can fuse and hybridise some of our games to make them more fun, crazy and harder! I made only 4 games with my own self-made rules. After embracing Pagat.com, I made 24 more in 3 weeks!
^(fostering addiction!)
Agreeably, this is serious. But the solution is very simple. Replace antes/blinds/bets with points and every small treat requires 1k points or above to win. Beyond this, it's at your own discipline, own discretion, OTOT. Read Allen Carr's Easy Way to Stop Gamblingfor more info.
^(Come on, people.) I literally cannot say this enough. MOBA and social media are the most (trigger warning! ⚠️) >!rote rinse and repeat shiz of all time brah!<.
With that said, I'm looking for a strong and supportive traditional card gaming community in Singapore that's non-toxic and willing to welcome this strong, inquisitive and >!a bit immature(!?)!< young mind, as well as others from my school (will be heading a student interest group).
P.S. looking for strong and relatable [to youth] coach(es) for Schnapsen, Bridge, Euchre, other 2 player partnership competitive strategy card games etc.
Idk about you, but my OCD makes it too easy to rationalize the stupid stuff. So I try to combat it with logic. Check out Brain Lock:
Brain Lock, Twentieth Anniversary Edition: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior https://www.amazon.com/dp/006256143X/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_MX8ZFAGE8QAPJ24M3WVW
It basically made me think of my obsessions and intrusive thoughts in a formulaic way, which is super helpful when trying to remember what's actually real.
Of course, please talk to someone close to you and call emergency services for help if you need it.
I was right that DLC would lead to incomplete games being released as the normal and exceedingly increased costs in "complete" games over the long run. Pretty easy to call.
Micro-transactions being predatory and most structured in such a way that they are either payment solutions for manufactured problems at best (see XP bonuses) or literally structured as gambling (see lootboxes, gacha, etc.) is also pretty easy. I have a book to recommend for that one, written before the modern craze: Addiction by Design.
Free to play making the customer the product through data capture (a la any free service, duh) with the added microtransaction was obvious, as well.
You didn't need to be a smart person to see this, just knowledgeable about historical actions of profit driven corporations.
It sounds like she's not ready to admit to the fact that she has a problem.
Honestly, if it were me in the exact same situation, I would flip the situation around. I would let her know that I have a problem with gambling, that's why I have been trying to stay away from it, and that you need her support in doing this. One way she could support you is by reading the book by Allen Carr -- the easy way to stop gambling'. Which is really an eye opening book in terms of us chasing our losses and how the system is rigged to get you addicted. If you get Audible for the free trial, you can get this book for free. It's repetitive, but brainwashing in a good way lol. Kinda like a mini reset.
It's a good starting point, and will more than likely allow her to reflect on her own experiences with gambling. GA is great too, but if she's not ready to stop chasing yet, I can't see it being helpful and she might feel forced,but definitely an option when she's ready to admit that gambling is causing trouble in her life.
Change is not going to happen overnight, but starting the process, like listening to the audiobook, should give a foundation to start from.
My wife and I used to gamble recreationally together as well, but my spending got out of control. I know I can never gamble again. She asked me one time, how could she have better supported me to stop. The above reccomendation is what I told her (switch roles). It is, at least for me, so much easier to help and support the people I love, than it is to do these things for myself. So it might be a sneaky way to do it, but I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think it would help in some way to get the ball rolling.
Funnily enough, I'm reading a book about machine gambling and its role in gambling addiction and can in fact confirm that justification is scientifically non-sensical.
I live with a sneaky alcoholic too. This is so familiar. You are actually much more watchful of her behavior than I have the patience to be- which might help you if you are interested in reading this: https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Loved-One-Sober/dp/1592850812
Helping someone who doesn't want to help themselves requires you to rethink your approach. You've tried reminding him of the consequences of his behavior, which is fair and would work on someone making rational decisions. With the case of an addiction, that tact will likely have the opposite of the intended effect and reinforce his position. I can recommend this book below and seeking out a support group for family members of alcoholics for continued support.
https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Loved-One-Sober/dp/1592850812
CBT is great for anxiety. A CBT therapist may be able to give you help that goes beyond what you would find in a book.
Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz is supposed to be the best book for OCD.
Benzodiazepine medications are very addictive and hard to wean yourself from so definitely don't do that.
Investing is a mindset. I recommend something like Brain Lock or one of my favorites by the GOAT, M.C. Pepen.
You’ll beat this, no doubt ☺️
If your like me, that can use indisputable logic to rid yourself of this evil once and for all, I find that this book has helped me a lot:
https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Gambling-Control/dp/1782124489
It can be a tough read, but I’ve probably read it 3 times already.
This happens all the time at slot machines. Lots of coverage on this and other unsavory subjects in <em>Addiction by Design: Machine Gambling in Las Vegas</em>
Also recommended by my current counselor: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01CY3A8V6/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 (no I have no financial incentive to post that link, just want to share)... the book is called "Brain Lock".
Play Poker Like The Pros by Phil Hellmuth is a good general book to read for beginners and for math I recommend Essential Poker Math: Expanded Edition by Alton Hardin. Hope this helps. Welcome to and good luck at the tables.
Since the pandemic hit, most mental health professionals have switched to telehealth (phone or video conferencing like Zoom). So you could look for a provider anywhere in your state. There is a specific intervention for loved ones of a person suffering from an addiction, including gambling. It's called Community Reinforcement Approach and Family Therapy (CRAFT). If you can find a therapist who offers that, that could be helpful for you. Also there is a book that is a self-help book geared for loved ones. Get Your Loved One Sober. It focuses on alcohol but many of the same principles apply to a problem gambling context. Disclaimer - I have no ties to this book and do not benefit in anyway if your purchase it.
The book "Brain Lock" has helped me a lot over the years. I have OCD and have been getting professional treatment for about ten years. https://www.amazon.com/Brain-Lock-Twentieth-Anniversary-Obsessive-Compulsive/dp/006256143X/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=brain+lock&qid=1599264670&sr=8-1
There is an e-book option, (US link, couldn't get the UK link to load) but not for free (unfortunately). I always recommend the audiobook format because the book is written with steps to follow and it's easier to get bored and skip to the end with the written book. It's truly not boring, but there are parts that don't necessarily apply to every person.
I'd seriously recommend this book over that.
Less moral judgement, more of a peek into the history of how and why video games are addicting.
Read Addiction by Design, as much as people fearmonger about technology physical spaces often far more venues for exploitation and manipulation. Apps by contrasts are more limited in that sense.
Companies have it down to a science with regards to designing things to ensure people continue to gambel while complying with well meaning regulation.
https://www.amazon.com/Addiction-Design-Machine-Gambling-Vegas/dp/0691160880
Time > money > hearthstone gold.
To quote some concepts from Addiction by Design: Machine Gambling in Las Vegas
Not every prison has bars.
You're chasing sunk costs.
You're being conditioned by a skinner box.
You're entering "the machine zone".
It's a life vacuum.
You're playing until extinction.
All of the lessons the gambling industry learned have been transitioned into the FTP gaming industry wholesale. As games like poker and horse racing became a rounding error compared to the profits of more and more addicting slot machines, the industry techniques spills over into things like hearthstone.