The best Gourmet Cooking books: Reddit reviews

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There's a whole cum cookbook out there somewhere. I don't feel like looking for it but I've gotten it as a gift for a white elephant exchange with friends once.

Edit: got unlazy. It's called Natural Harvest.

Amazon link in case anyone wants to buy it for a friend: https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

Oh man, this is good. Where do you get your ideas?

I also work in a conservative environment and always struggle with white elephant at Christmas because they make it soooo boring with like 5 different blankets and candles etc. I've moved on from the safe gift of wine because if I'm gonna waste a whole evening I need something more entertaining. Last year I did the 50 Shades of Chicken cook book. It was hilarious until the poor lady that barely speaks English picked it and no one would trade with her. :(

Here's some more resources:

Natural Harvest

Semenology

That is one of the best series I have ever watched. I really wish there were more. The writing, design and cinematography was so flawless. I even ended up buying the book Feeding Hannibal that showed how the show's chef prepared such beautiful displays of cuisine. For Hannibal fans, it is well worth checking out.

https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Hannibal-Connoisseurs-Janice-Poon/dp/1783297662

He got that info from this post incase you’d like to learn more.

In the comments of that post, someone also shared a legit 62-page semen cookbook.

I also highly recommend Jacques Pepin's New Complete Techniques. It's a little less "science of cooking" but it's literally an encyclopedia telling you how to do everything from a brunoise to boning a chicken.

Also worth checking out is Samin Nosrat's Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat in which she breaks down all cooking into these four categories.

A friend once got gifted a cooking book.. for cocking with sperm...

https://www.amazon.de/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

This is my favourite one, https://www.amazon.ca/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

There's also a bartenders serving guide, https://www.amazon.com/Semenology-Bartenders-Paul-Fotie-Photenhauer/dp/1482605228

Sooooo, there’s this recipe book called Natural Harvest and I’m honestly wondering if maybe your roommate had a copy. Haha.

You don't know what's bad until your friends make you something from the Natural Harvest cookbook

Edit: There’s a version for bartenders as well

I mean there's a cookbook and a bartending book.

Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes https://www.amazon.com/dp/1481227041/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_CispCb7CHFK5A

Semenology - The Semen Bartender's Handbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1482605228/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ajspCbDKNMGC7

There is a book of semen based recipes on Amazon...

I bought one for a friend's birthday, and it is truly disgusting. I recommend the recipe for man made oysters.

He should have not jizzed in it, and instead just left this book lying around.

Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

There’s an author who has a couple of recipe books out, one for food and the other for drinks... all for cooking with semen.

So, apparently it’s a thing ��

If you are curious, but don’t trust my link (it’s to the book on amazon), you can google Natural Harvest by Paul Photenhauer. The vast majority of reviewers are being campy or explicitly state they bought the book as a joke, but the author is very serious about it.

Video of him making the “Macho Mojito”

Idk if this is what the other redditor was talking about, but amazon has a listing for "Natural Harvest"; https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

I highly recommend reading some of the available pages. It's hilarious, especially at the desserts section.

Pretty sure this is a legit book so...

Great tips like this and more can be found in 'Natural Harvest - A collection of semen based recipes' available from Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

Just counted and I currently have 31 books. I've cooked out of every one of them, even my Feeding Hannibal book, but in general I regularly use only about 10 of them.

My three Thug Kitchen, now Bad Manners I believe, books and Serena Wolf's The Dude Diet do a lot of my heavy lifting though.

More of a general suggestion for cooking, but I highly "How to Cook Without a Book". It breaks down types of foods into groups by type/method, and then presents a basic "recipe" for how to do it. For example, it shows you the method behind how to make a basic stir fry or a stew, and then all you have to do is plug your seasonal ingredients into the equation, you don't need to go searching for a specific recipe anymore. More of a "teach a man to fish" approach to cooking.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Cook-Without-Book-Techniques/dp/0767902793

Thanks for posting a recipe! This is similar to what I used. Mine was out of This Book ($5 digital copy on Amazon) so I don't think I can post without breaking copywrite laws or something.

I will try again sometimes with the above recipe. Hopefully with better folding technique.

​

Edit: typo

I don't know what's worse... that or this:

https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041

There's also this:

https://www.amazon.com/Semenology-Bartenders-Paul-Fotie-Photenhauer/dp/1482605228

>semen is not food

???

^^be ^^wary ^^of ^^the ^^above ^^link ^^if ^^you ^^don't ^^want ^^your ^^amazon ^^suggestions ^^to ^^be ^^forever ^^tainted

Love the cookbook.

https://www.amazon.com/Feeding-Hannibal-Connoisseurs-Janice-Poon/dp/1783297662?pldnSite=1

so far I've made the blood pudding, the bloodorange salad, the 'snails', the sweetbreads, and the heart-tartar. Everything turned out amazing

Pozdrav.

Za početak bih ti preporučio knjigu: "Natural Harvest: A collection of semen-based recipes". Kasnije možeš eksperimentirati i sa "Semenology - The Semen Bartender's Handbook" ako te to područje zanima.

lp

New Complete Techniques by Jacques Pepin

https://www.amazon.com/Jacques-P%C3%A9pin-New-Complete-Techniques/dp/1579129110/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Update of his classic la Technique from the 70's. It's just a cookbook, but it's a cookbook where every recipe is chosen specifically by a master to demonstrate a fundamental culinary technique. Super illustrated, and if you get a physical copy it comes with a DVD of live demonstrations. Everything from how to truss a chicken to how to make a dry caramel that won't recrystallize as it cools. It's been called "culinary school in a box". Yes, Pepin is very French, so the recipes themselves are heavily skewed towards French haute cuisine (which may or may not be your thing. How do you feel about heavy cream?) but the knowledge and skills are universal. It's a good way to get from just "following" recipes to really understanding whats being done and why, and gaining the confidence to make changes and improvise.

PS: I recommend this because of what you said about your access to specialty ingredients and equipment, not in spite of it. Aside from the odd truffle or obscure herb, everything he talks about should be available in a well stocked American super market. French food has a reputation, but this is not a book about how to make snobby food for rich people, it's about teaching you how to go into a kitchen with a chicken, an onion, some celery, some butter and some flour and come out with something mind blowing.

There's a whole recipe book! It's called "Natural Harvest". I've never bought it, but it's funny.

> discipline the parsley with a knife and mix it with a salty, acidic mustard dressing that complements the bird.

Reminds me of passages from this book: https://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Shades-Chicken-Parody-Cookbook/dp/0385345224

The recipes are mostly simple and straightforward. The introductory passages that precede each recipe are uh...not. This book is my go-to gag gift for anyone culinarily inclined. Here's a passage from the book, copy, pasted from that amazon page.

> The way his apron hangs from his hips already has me all wobbly. But as he coats my thighs with sticky liquid I can hardly contain myself. Is it the wine, or is my aroma starting to drive him crazy too? He heats me up fast, it won’t take much too?

> He heats me up fast, it won’t take much to finish me off now. His lips quirk up to a smile. My own juices are mixing with the coating and running all over the place. I get the strangest, sweetest, hedonistic feeling up and down. It’s epicureanism run wild!

> He spreads my thighs out on a plate. Sticky hands and at least five wet napkins. What will the housekeeper think? Who cares?

Oh man, y’all do realize that there is an an entire “cum cookbook” right?

I remember seeing it a few years ago.

It’s wild

Edit: Found it!

I’d advise against looking at recipe photos lol. Yes, that nut flan

Crackers and jizz? What is this, a 70’s dinner party?

When you’re done serving the jellied salad and sliced-hotdog-and-pickle-on-toothpick hors d’œuvres, try upping your game.

Since you do know what you like to cook and likely are able to come up with ideas, I'd go to Jacque Pepin's book, the newer version that more or less replaces his early classics, Le Methode and Le Technique.

https://www.amazon.com/Jacques-P%C3%A9pin-New-Complete-Techniques/dp/1579129110/

Heavy on knowledge and technique, the things you would have trouble inventing for yourself. But most techniques are explained and then followed by meaningful recipes where you can apply them. And being Pepin's they're going to be good food.