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Just a heads up, the paperback version on the Amazon link doesn't appear to be the Hays translation. I ordered after seeing your post (thanks!) and used this link:
https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/0812968255/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Might want to edit in smile. before your link as well so charity gets some $$$. :)
You will never get rid of it entirely, but you can learn to be happy even as it's part of your life. I truly don't think there's a human being alive who doesn't experience existential dread in some form (unless you are literally fighting for survival everyday).
This book helped a lot for me: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522632735
To summarize very quickly some of the points:
- we are all on a hedonistic treadmill where as soon as we get something we want we take it for granted and start wanting the next thing. Learn to desire the things you already have by practicing negative visualization, which is basically contemplating how you can lose everything you have and love in life. Sounds depressing as hell but it actually makes you start caring and desiring for the things, relationships, and opportunities already present in your life.
- Divide your problems into 3 categories, things you can control, things you have some control over, and things you have no control over. Worry about the first two categories, and for the second, internalize your goals (you can control how much work you put into a project, but you can't control how much other people will like it). For the third, stop worrying about it (easier said than done but still).
- Practice going without things you like for times to make you care about them more and maintain a healthy relationship with them (unhealthy but tasty food, alcohol, anything like that).
There's a lot more to it, but basically learning to loving yourself and the live you have instead of always wishing for a different one, being healthy and active, maintaining good relationships and recognizing that comparison is the enemy of joy can help you find fulfillment in life.
Have you heard of Negative Visualization?
Pause now and then to consider the state of your life. Think of the people you love and the things you value. If you love someone, consider how you’d fare without them. If you have a great ride, think how you’d do on a bicycle or bus pass. Think of how bored you’d be if you could no longer do whatever hobbies you enjoy. Ponder the changes that a sudden loss of health would bring. This can help prepare you for an unexpected loss or change, although nothing will ever really prevent grief. More importantly, it should help you appreciate your circumstances and the people around you more, and make you content with the life you already live.
You seem dismissive of meditation and books, which seems odd for a question like this, but the first I’d recommend would be A Guide to the Good Life.
I wanted to recommend this one... written by a philosophy professor, it's very accessible and made a big difference for me. It's sort of an intro to stoicism.
https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/dp/B0040JHNQG/ref=sr_1_3?
Secondly--- I own a business with a seasonal slow period. For 3-4 months each year I more or less don't have to work. I have been fighting that strange guilt sensation for so long. I know exactly what you mean.
It's hard to do anything different from what EVERYBODY else is doing. But it doesn't mean we are wrong to do it. Stoicism has helped me accept that it's perfectly natural that I would feel strange given that my lifestyle is so different from pretty much everyone else's.
First, a quote: "Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present." - Marcus Aurelius
Second, seriously, buy the book of wisdom about him. I promise you it's on the shelf with dog-eared pages of every successful person you'll ever meet.
Third, don't worry about the world ending. It's not, it won't.
You're living in literally (literally) the safest, most prosperous time in all of human history. You're fine. Shit is fine.
Get of social media. You're being mislead by dumb people saying dumb things about stuff they don't, nor ever will, understand.
You're just being subjected to the information overload fallacy. That's all.
You think what your read is real. It's not. Example, gun violence in America has fallen to all time historic lows, but reporting on gun violence in the last 20 years has increased 300%. So people think there's some crisis now, when it's the safest it's ever been.
You're fine. The planet is fine. The US is fine. Go enjoy life.
There's a theory of psychology that due to the millenia of generations of survival of the fittest, our brains are hard wired to worry. It's only been for the last few generations that a good portion of the human population could live without having to be on guard constantly against death by wild animals, starvation from crop failures/not finding food to hunt, small wounds becoming infected and killing you, etc.
Those of us alive today are the descendants of the ones who DID worry enough about the dangers in the world to survive through them long enough to have kids and keep them alive too. The ones less inclined to worry would have survived less often. So you could say many of us were bred through natural selection to be peak worriers.
Today our world no longer requires this level of worry, but we're stuck with brains which are built to be anxiously aware. Our brains will create those feelings even when our lives do not require any worry at all.
I read a great book on Stoicism a few years ago I really enjoyed. I think it definitely helps keep these anxious feelings in perspective. Step 1 for me is to accept that those feelings are entirely normal and not something I need to fight agains. u/cagarsalvagemente you might enjoy this book!
https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/dp/B0040JHNQG
When I was in high school, I was close with one of my teachers. When I graduated, she gave me this book with a nice message written inside the front cover.
I didn't touch it for about 2-3 years, but once I did, it changed my life.
You sound a lot like me a couple years ago
Okay, let's get your mental health in order
What is your money situation? Got health insurance?
Sleep. You gotta get your 8-10 hours. Every night. Quality sleep too. Get a fitbit if you can afford it, the one that tracks sleep quality. Otherwise there are free/cheap apps. Watch you caffeine intake. Eat dinner as early as you can. Take melatonin. Optimize your bedroom for sleep quality if you can (40% humidity, 60-67 F temp, air purifier, blackout curtain). Easy on the booze
Go to the doctor and get blood work: vitamins, minerals, hormones (estradiol too, sounds like your T is fine), inflammatory markers, intestinal parasites. Depression and inflammation are correlated. Depression and testosterone / Vitamin D deficiencies are correlated. FIx deficiencies with food / sunshine if you can, otherwise supplements. Eat real food, the kind that goes bad. Mostly fish/seafood/shellfish and vegetables. Fish has Omega 3, Iodine, and Lithium, all of which are good for your mood
Attitude change. Go get the audio book of Feeling Good by David Burns. it's the intro to Cognitive Behavioual Therapy. Works better than drugs for most people. You can get it free on kobo.com if you sign up (credit card required but not charge until a month). Then get https://www.amazon.ca/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614 . Can find audio book on piratebay. It's an intro to Stoicism, a masculine philosophy of life which helps you think through negative emotions
Walk in the daylight / sunshine after lunch every day. It's good for your mood
After all that, after you're feeling better, and want some inspiration for school / exercise, read The War of Art (Pressfield), and Can't Hurt Me (Goggins)
You can PM me if you need help
Also, avoid female counselors, they are useless. Find a male CBT therapist if you need one
Sounds like you need a philosophy of life...especially since you already have a doctor of philosophy degree :)..
A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy https://www.amazon.com/dp/0195374614/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_LmVADb2ZYTREF
This is the 101 in stoicism. If you want to be happy, you have to learn what you can control and what not. This book is a goog starter: A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy (English Edition) https://www.amazon.de/dp/B0040JHNQG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_taa_EouqDbTJH6VM7
These books helped me:
Epictetus - Discourses, Fragments, Handbook translated by Robin Hard is the best modern translation of Epictetus. It's worth getting the Discourses and fragments along with the Enchiridion.
I have this version. It is great. Whenever I read a passage from it I have to sit back and think for a while because it blows my mind.
OP, I think you will benefit from reading it. It uses plain English. Here it is on amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-New-Translation-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0812968255
The Meditations, fortunately, have been widely published and are almost certainly available in your native language.
Unless you're a big fan of ancient literature already, I'd recommend starting with a "translated version" of Stoic philosophy before jumping straight to the source material (i.e. Meditations, Letters to Lucilius)
Original Stoic writings are powerful, but it was helpful, at least to me, to understand the context and concepts first as well as how they apply to modern life.
My go to recommendation is A Guide to The Good Life: The Secret Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irving.
It's without a doubt, the book that's had the single greatest impact on my life.
Here's the Amazon link for reference.
No redpill reading would be complete without Marcus Aurelius: Meditations. 1900 years ago they were dealing with the same issues, human nature hasn't changed at all.
$4 on amazon
Hi! This is a wonderful post. If I may, I’d like to recommend a book. The Art of Living by Epictetus. It’s also commonly known as the Enchiridion. The best translation that I have read, that I highly recommend is by Sharon Lebell.
Art of Living
(https://www.amazon.com/Art-Living-Classical-Happiness-Effectiveness/dp/0061286052)
Remember that you cannot control what others do, say, or think.
If you cannot control something 100%, all you can do is decide how to deal with it. You can train yourself to not care about the stares and comments. Sir Anthony Hopkins said, "Other people's opinions about you are none of your business."
They can think what they want. They don't know who you are. But you do.
I suggest you read A Guide to the Good Life, by William Irvine.
It has helped me immensely.
Jim?
Hays tr.: https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-New-Translation-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0812968255
Hard tr.: https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-selected-correspondence-Oxford-Classics/dp/0199573204
Links go to the American Amazon store.
I got the paperback edition just cause I like having physical copies of things, but I think the kindle one is free
I have this one and found it quite easy to follow: https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-New-Translation-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0812968255/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=meditations+marcus+aurelius&qid=1627377611&sprefix=meditations&sr=8-1
Marcus Aurelius - Meditations - He's a Roman emperor, but his thought practices are heavily based on Greek Stoicism.
Plato's Republic - This one is more about the discipline required from individuals for society to thrive as a whole, but he's a Greek philosopher, so it's an interesting read in that regard. Plato thought that Sparta's militaristic-discipline style of society was really neat, which is evident in this book.
The Hays translation of Meditations might work for you: https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-New-Translation-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0812968255
Written in a more modern writing style but keeps a lot of the insights intact. Like you I have trouble reading philosophy books for attention reasons but this one worked for me 🙂
Weird correction, are you trying to say that whoops, I'm secretly a theist because I try to follow Stoicism?
Some philosophers have retooled ancient Stoicism as a modern non-religious life philosophy, and it adapts really well to modern secular values and a material world: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/dp/B0040JHNQG. The doctor of philosophy who wrote that book is very emphatic about the nonreligious nature of this notion of life philosophies. My point was that atheism is not a life philosophy, and if you simply reject religion -- which comes with life philosophies preinstalled -- you still need to find a life philosophy.
This is a very important post.
I'd recommend to anyone reading this to look into philosophies like Stoicism, and make study of that sort of thing a part of your daily routine. It doesn't take much time, just 10-15 minutes each day can be very beneficial.
In fact, there's a book designed for that: The Daily Stoic. One page a day, all year long. It really can help you get control of yourself, ground you, and keep you focused.
https://www.amazon.com/Meditations-New-Translation-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0812968255/ref=pd_lpo_14_t_0/144-6026304-7578803?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0812968255&pd_rd_r=3c0c10b0-31d2-4232-ac63-65b49110b8f4&pd_rd_w=4zLhc&pd_rd_wg=GokA7&pf_rd_p=337be819-13af-4fb9-8b3e-a5291c097ebb&pf_rd_r=X3GM2KYEYN7P8JXDHN0R&psc=1&refRID=X3GM2KYEYN7P8JXDHN0R pen, and highlighter read. This helped me a lot. Also seeing a therapist
I found a couple books in the sidebar that are along the lines of what I'm looking for: A Guide to the Good Life and Get a Life: You Don't Need a Million to Retire Well.
Hmm this is not on the genre you asked but I would advice to give him meditations by Marcus Aurelius, Stoicism has been a Philosophy that has helped me throughout my life in any given situation. Another one would be The wisdom of the enneagram by don Richard Riso, two of the best books I’ve ever read.
Again this is not the genre you asked for but it’s my two cents, both of them helped me to find a profound knowledge of myself my soul and my psyche and all 3 of this are infinite.
Best of luck
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
It is written by the man himself and filled with a lot of stoic wisdom that has become the basis for many of today's self help books. As a former military man it might strike a chord with him. It also doesn't come across as a "self-help" book since it is basically Marcus's personal reflections to himself.
My preference is the Long version, just for the style (which somehow feels most appropriate for a Stoic philosopher-emperor to have written, at least to me). Be aware that the language is somewhat archaic; if you prefer a more modern-English version (which does paraphrase and summarize quite a bit), try Hays. But you can check out the Long online, so no risk in trying it. Online version.
There are several book versions available on Amazon. This one isn't the version I own, but I was satisfied with my copy of Enchiridion from the same publisher. (Note that, while an editorial review mentioned on the page refers to the Hays translation, the book preview shows the Long translation).