It's a good book, but I prefer this one:
Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself byAziz Gazipura
https://www.amazon.com/Not-Nice-Pleasing-Speaking-Unapologetically-ebook/dp/B076VVH14M
It goes more in depth about why are you a 'nice guy' and gives you much more practical advice and exercises to change it. Always found the latter lacking in No More Mr Nice Guy.
I started out as a text hypnotist in chat rooms. I talked here about some things a text hypnotist has to keep in mind, and techniques that can be used.
What you're talking about sounds a bit more like <em>Instant Self-Hypnosis</em>--scripts that you read that are meant to hypnotize you without another person being involved at all.
Hypnosis does work like this, but it's more difficult to get it to work. People typically respond best to live sessions with a hypnotist, either in-person or over a video call. When hypnotist and subject can't see and/or hear each other, that makes things more difficult. And when the session is recorded, and the hypnotist isn't able to adapt it to how well the subject is responding, that also makes it more difficult.
Start with Journeys out of the Body:
https://www.amazon.com/Journeys-Out-Body-Out-Body/dp/0385008619
This starts from the beginning of when he started experiencing spontaneous OOBE's and goes from there towards developing curiosity and then studying it.
The other books in the trilogy expand and detail the formation of Hemi-sync and the Monroe Institute.
I got (rightly) downvoted for suggesting Olbas Oil elsewhere, so as a possible alternative: have you considered hypnosis? Obviously care is required with this one (especially where history of panic attacks is concerned) but my OH and I had good results a few years back with this as a starter: Look Into My Eyes
I have never used this book personally but went through this book about twice. Ritual structure is quite good.It mainly aims the 72 names of God and corresponding angels. https://www.amazon.com/Book-Hidden-Name-Magick-HaMephorash/dp/0578765403
For the future, this book teaches a method to place your brain in a state of alpha waves. If you practice the method taught in that book every time you get triggered, over time, you will quickly be able to exit the triggered state at will.
For the present, physical exercise is helpful. Partially, it is due to creating a state in the brain similar to alpha waves due to the release of endorphins. It doesn't have to be in a gym. Go for a walk or run. Play a sport. Roller blade. Higher impact cardio is particularly useful here, because it will get you high as a kite off of the endorphins.
Once triggered, you want to get your brain in a state of alpha waves as quickly as possible. This book has good training on how to get there. Once you can 'hypnotise' yourself easily, you can step off a trigger at will. Practice makes perfect!
For me, patterns in the floor, wood furniture, carpet, wallpaper, etc allow me to easily place my brain in an alpha wave state. The floors at Planet Fitness make it particularly easy, given it is black with multicolor speckles. I also have a stone and a couple of stone slabs I use for this.
I can only find a paperback for around $6 on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Self-Hypnotism-Technique-Daily-Living-Signet/dp/0451159845
You could also try signing up for a 30 day free trial on SCRIBD to access it. (No affiliation) https://www.scribd.com/document/448388827/leslie-lecron-self-hypnotism
If you want a reasonably cheap Kindle book to check out, this book from Richard Nongard has some simple self-hypnosis techniques. Richard is one of my hypnosis teachers and has solid advice for beginners.
Learning self-hypnosis is the #1 thing I'd recommend for you, not only to change this issue but also for your entire life, especially since you are so responsive to hypnosis. You can absolutely take control over your life and turn things around, probably faster than you imagine given your proven ability to program your mind.
Perhaps try Book of The Hidden name by Maximus Tyrannus Avery on Amazon
Book of the Hidden Name - Magick of the Shem HaMephorash Angels https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578765403/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_a_KZ4Q80RW08A1JG0TEBD9
You might like <em>Instant Self-Hypnosis</em> by Forbes Blair. He focuses heavily on self-improvement and has a nice, straightforward method.
Read <em>Not Nice</em> by Aziz Gazipura.
It's about this exact thing. It draws a distinction between kindness and niceness and offers lots of real world examples you can apply.
Try reading this book: On My Own Side. It might help you discover and feel the pain that's deep within you. You might find that you relate to a lot of things the author talks about. Maybe you do a lot of harm to yourself unconsciously. Maybe it is done consciously. Dr. Aziz gives a lot of valuable tools to overcome this.
Finished my new book on the 72 Shem HaMephorash Angels
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578765403?fbclid=IwAR0CIbA1gW_Ymrt-hZtI59aiEVvN8ARxIJVnmMkg-L7irYYszIUfXS4mnS4
Would love to get some feedback on the book from anyone that has picked it up
You can just toss it, you haven't activated it and it's of no concern.
You may also find some interest in my book:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578765403?fbclid=IwAR0CIbA1gW_Ymrt-hZtI59aiEVvN8ARxIJVnmMkg-L7irYYszIUfXS4mnS4
Within all of us, there is a point in our lives where we turn on ourselves (where we stopped having our own back). I'd HIGHLY recommend reading the book "On my own side" by Dr Aziz. I used to do exactly as you described and this book really changed how I relate to myself (in turn causing massive shifts in my career and relationships).
Yes, it does work. I started as a text hypnotist hypnotizing people in chat rooms.
Text doesn't work as well as voice, and non-interactive doesn't work as well as interactive. All the same, some people can definitely get hypnotized by reading a book, if the book is written with hypnotic suggestions. There's actually a book written to do exactly this: https://www.amazon.com/Instant-Self-Hypnosis-Hypnotize-Yourself-Your/dp/1402202695
I'd highly recommend you check out Ainslie Meares on Meditation ( https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ainslie-Meares-Meditation-Dissolve-pain-Tap/dp/0646966936/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= ). I'd been plugging away with a couple of meditation practices over the last few years (breath awareness and mantra based techniques) with varying degrees of success, but a few weeks ago I saw a dude in this sub recommend this book. Since then I've smashed through it and started practicing the technique, and good lord I'm feeling better. My general sense of anxiety and stress has completely dissipated, giving me back my sleep, and I feel like I want to reconnect with people I've left by the wayside in recent years. Other side effects (probably due to not being stressed and getting proper sleep again) include a noticeable jump in my workouts and physical fitness, a greater sense of empathy but also critical thinking without getting sucked into cyclical thought patterns, and just a more general enthusiasm for life.
the technique itself is probably one of the simplest I've ever read about, so simple it almost seems too good to be true. I'm about to start my second read through to make sure I've got the nuances of it down. this is my new 'go to' whenever anyone asks me about getting into or deepening meditation. It's been written from the perspective of a mental health professional who did his own investigations, firstly into hypnosis and then later into meditation.
NP. One of the things I want to warn you is to not fall into the trap of becoming a "nice guy". I suggest reading https://www.amazon.com/Not-Nice-Pleasing-Speaking-Unapologetically-ebook/dp/B076VVH14M ; basically, it's good to be grateful and polite, but too much can be a bad thing.
Also yeah, I just meant the account wasn't made specifically to throwaway for this purpose. I had an account that I stopped using too, but it wasn't meant to be a throwaway at the time so I don't consider it a throwaway.
Another thing is, at the risk of sounding too much like someone high above lecturing you... but I've learned a lot these past months and I really want to share what I've learned.
I think you should accept all of yourself, the good, the bad, the past, the present. If you are ashamed of your past, then you still haven't solved your low self-esteem problem and that will extend towards bad feelings/depression and also be an obstacle in finding fulfilling relationships.
I like this one....
but it is the fist I read, within 15 pages it tels you now to. Thats all it took for me. The rest is good, but some people here say he talks too much of his own adventures, that may be true, but it's a good way to draw paralalells and know what to expect when you get better.
I'd start here. It's a great beginner guide to hypnosis, tailored specifically towards the bedroom.
Ask him if he'd consider hypnosis, either from an experienced hypnotist or through self-hypnosis. I've used self-hypnosis in the past to overcome some issues of losing attraction for my partner .
The book that taught me how to do self-hypnosis is called Instant Self-Hypnosis: How to Hypnotize Yourself with Your Eyes Open (http://www.amazon.com/Instant-Self-Hypnosis-Hypnotize-Yourself-Your/dp/1402202695/), but you can find other books as well as free info on the web about how to do it.
The way self-hypnosis works is first you use an induction script to get yourself into a hypnotic state (which feels awesome, btw!). They you use a suggestion script to give yourself the information you are trying to work on and change in your life. He'd have to write his own suggestion script, I imagine, since his situation is kind of specific to his relationship with you (how to write your own script is described in the book I mentioned above). His script would focus on things particular to your situation, like "When I look at thsad, I always get turned on. She makes me hard every time. My penis gets especially sensitive whenever it touches her body. Being inside her vagina makes me incredibly horny and makes my penis feel amazing. Her vagina makes me want to cum so badly that sometimes I can't stand it. Every day I get more and more turned on by her. I have the best sex of my life with her, and it just keeps getting better and better." Etc. etc.
He might have to self-hypnotize himself and use an induction script followed by his self-made hypnosis script many times, like every day for a month, for example. Eventually, it might help him overcome some of his conscious and/or subconscious blocks to enjoying sex with you.
I don't know if hypnosis would work for him, but I can honestly say it has helped me. It might be worth a shot as one tool in your overall approach to dealing with this issue.
If you've been into this for a while, you may already know about the book, Look Into My Eyes. I got it a few months ago based on another Redditor's recommendation. It's mostly geared towards using hypnosis to spice up an already healthy relationship.
Our survival instinct is wound too tightly, which leads to this suffering. What you see as banalities are actually the distractions from this suffering, but the distractions themselves are as material as the source of distress; and distractions are, by nature, only temporary. A better satisfaction is probably tuning into a sense of compassion and right action. Meditation will help you cultivate this, and it will allow you to approach distractions and suffering with patience and love.
Our banalities are part of a nature we choose to accept when we take this form. The form is not ideal, as I said. Perhaps because its creator is not perfect, or perhaps because the flaws are by design. Whatever the case, when you are done here, it will be as if no time as passed at all. You will look back on it like the single blink of an eye. All the strife, the pain, the disease will be a page in a book without beginning or end.
There's a trilogy of books on this subject written by the late Robert Monroe that you may find illuminating. They're listed here. You may not believe what he has to say. But consider it food for thought.