The best Inspiration & Spirituality books: Reddit reviews

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That you are here asking questions and help is a good thing. It shows that God is working in your life. You used to have a close relationship with God and you miss it.

Are you back in treatment for your depression? First get yourself back into treatment for your depression. I would check out Catholic Therapists so that you have someone that is respectful of your faith. You can also probably get a name of a good therapist from your Priest.

There are plenty of Saints that have fallen into the darkness of depression combined with spiritual aridity.

St. John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila and Mother Teresa of Calcutta come to mind.

A prayer by St. Teresa of Avila

Let nothing disturb you, Let nothing frighten you, All things are passing away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices.

Check this out: Fire Within: St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross and the Gospel on Prayer

Have you heard of Negative Visualization?

Pause now and then to consider the state of your life. Think of the people you love and the things you value. If you love someone, consider how you’d fare without them. If you have a great ride, think how you’d do on a bicycle or bus pass. Think of how bored you’d be if you could no longer do whatever hobbies you enjoy. Ponder the changes that a sudden loss of health would bring. This can help prepare you for an unexpected loss or change, although nothing will ever really prevent grief. More importantly, it should help you appreciate your circumstances and the people around you more, and make you content with the life you already live.

You seem dismissive of meditation and books, which seems odd for a question like this, but the first I’d recommend would be A Guide to the Good Life.

I recommend https://www.amazon.com/Fire-Within-Teresa-Gospel-Prayer/dp/0898702631

>isn't this the ultimate goal of being a Christian, to become like Christ?

Sure. I think what we should be complaining about (rather than complain that there is too much legalism or doctrine) is that there is not enough asceticism, since that is sort of the first step.

I wanted to recommend this one... written by a philosophy professor, it's very accessible and made a big difference for me. It's sort of an intro to stoicism.

https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/dp/B0040JHNQG/ref=sr_1_3?

Secondly--- I own a business with a seasonal slow period. For 3-4 months each year I more or less don't have to work. I have been fighting that strange guilt sensation for so long. I know exactly what you mean.

It's hard to do anything different from what EVERYBODY else is doing. But it doesn't mean we are wrong to do it. Stoicism has helped me accept that it's perfectly natural that I would feel strange given that my lifestyle is so different from pretty much everyone else's.

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

It's putting me on a path that may not align with the RE of FIRE, but is slowly stepping me towards things I enjoy. Do I really enjoy being a hardware engineer in industry? No. Can I use the tenets of FIRE to manage my money to allow for a more flexible and enriching life? Yes! And I'm mid-plan on executing that change which was crafted d during the 12 weeks of working through this book.

EDIT: I also did the Marie Kondo tidying during this stage so that helped too!

There's a theory of psychology that due to the millenia of generations of survival of the fittest, our brains are hard wired to worry. It's only been for the last few generations that a good portion of the human population could live without having to be on guard constantly against death by wild animals, starvation from crop failures/not finding food to hunt, small wounds becoming infected and killing you, etc.

Those of us alive today are the descendants of the ones who DID worry enough about the dangers in the world to survive through them long enough to have kids and keep them alive too. The ones less inclined to worry would have survived less often. So you could say many of us were bred through natural selection to be peak worriers.

Today our world no longer requires this level of worry, but we're stuck with brains which are built to be anxiously aware. Our brains will create those feelings even when our lives do not require any worry at all.

I read a great book on Stoicism a few years ago I really enjoyed. I think it definitely helps keep these anxious feelings in perspective. Step 1 for me is to accept that those feelings are entirely normal and not something I need to fight agains. u/cagarsalvagemente you might enjoy this book!

https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/dp/B0040JHNQG

You are not praying wrong. You are rightly not chasing Divine Consolations. The earlier poster who quoted St. John of the Cross is correct.

I suggest to you the book

Fire Within: St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross and the Gospel-On Prayer

You sound a lot like me a couple years ago

Okay, let's get your mental health in order

What is your money situation? Got health insurance?

1. Sleep. You gotta get your 8-10 hours. Every night. Quality sleep too. Get a fitbit if you can afford it, the one that tracks sleep quality. Otherwise there are free/cheap apps. Watch you caffeine intake. Eat dinner as early as you can. Take melatonin. Optimize your bedroom for sleep quality if you can (40% humidity, 60-67 F temp, air purifier, blackout curtain). Easy on the booze

2. Go to the doctor and get blood work: vitamins, minerals, hormones (estradiol too, sounds like your T is fine), inflammatory markers, intestinal parasites. Depression and inflammation are correlated. Depression and testosterone / Vitamin D deficiencies are correlated. FIx deficiencies with food / sunshine if you can, otherwise supplements. Eat real food, the kind that goes bad. Mostly fish/seafood/shellfish and vegetables. Fish has Omega 3, Iodine, and Lithium, all of which are good for your mood

3. Attitude change. Go get the audio book of Feeling Good by David Burns. it's the intro to Cognitive Behavioual Therapy. Works better than drugs for most people. You can get it free on kobo.com if you sign up (credit card required but not charge until a month). Then get https://www.amazon.ca/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614 . Can find audio book on piratebay. It's an intro to Stoicism, a masculine philosophy of life which helps you think through negative emotions

4. Walk in the daylight / sunshine after lunch every day. It's good for your mood

5. After all that, after you're feeling better, and want some inspiration for school / exercise, read The War of Art (Pressfield), and Can't Hurt Me (Goggins)

You can PM me if you need help

Also, avoid female counselors, they are useless. Find a male CBT therapist if you need one

Sounds like you need a philosophy of life...especially since you already have a doctor of philosophy degree :)..

A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy https://www.amazon.com/dp/0195374614/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_LmVADb2ZYTREF

This is the 101 in stoicism. If you want to be happy, you have to learn what you can control and what not. This book is a goog starter: A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy (English Edition) https://www.amazon.de/dp/B0040JHNQG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_taa_EouqDbTJH6VM7

Jesus said (about himself) that he is the way. He didn't say he is "a" way; he said he is "the" way. If we care about other people, we should want them to know God and to love God, since it turns out (we can see this to some extent simply by studying our fellow man) that that's the only way to have lasting happiness.

> How can anyone believe that they belong to the 'one true religion'?

How can anyone believe that their city's baseball team won the World Series? There are a lot of baseball teams. Maybe all of them could be winners. :)

> Why is a Catholic's interpretation of how to reach God and the afterlife more correct than any other religion?

I will make a practical suggestion, which is to read Fire Within https://www.amazon.com/Fire-Within-Teresa-Gospel-Prayer/dp/0898702631 - we don't have an interpretation of how to reach God, we have a well-documented way to reach God.

This may be a bit hippie-dippie for your taste but the book The Artist’s Way really helped me come back to myself and clarify my values and find ways to express myself in and out of work. Again: it’s pretty woo-woo. But I liked it and it helped!

I don't know if this will help, but many years ago I went to the funeral of a high school friend. She was killed in a car crash at only 23, just weeks before her wedding. The rabbi who was supposed to officiate at her wedding instead spoke at her funeral. I remember so distinctly how he said that the accident wasn't caused by God, it was caused by the slippery road conditions and the science of how a car works. He said that God was weeping too at the loss of such a wonderful young woman. I've seen many people of all faiths find comfort in a famous book by a rabbi called "When Bad Things Happen to Good People," and say that it helped them keep a connection to God even through terrible tragedy. You might find it helpful (https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Happen-Good-People/dp/1400034728).

My family was what I needed to get away from lmao. No I had to figure stuff out on my own. Well, not completely, i listened dozens of self help audiobooks. From Anthony Robbins to Zig Ziglar (zig ziglar is awesome lol) Neurolinguistic programming techniques worked, but that's brainwashing. It'll come back to haunt you twice as hard once you can't trick yourself.

Also the book the artists way tought me a different way to view emotions. Not just pushing them away. https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-25th-Anniversary/dp/0143129252

There's one technique I still use and that's physically moving the memories far away in my mind. Make it smaller. It's quick to do when it pops up unwanted.

Headspace techniques do basically the opposite, they teach you neither to change or focus on the memory. Just let it be there among the other memories and thoughts. Here's the link: https://www.netflix.com/title/81280926

They have fun animations if anything.

As for nightmares, I always lucid dream. But with nightmares that's like playing chess against yourself. You can always come up with a way things go wrong. And then again and again and again. So I do have experience with that too lol. Controlling the thoughts before you go to bed is kinda essential imo to make nightmares go away. If you don't deal with thoughts during the day, they'll come to you at night. So I think the only way to deal effectively with nightmares is during the day.

Edit: in the end, for people like us, we have to choose whether we remain a victim or refuse to let the abuser have any more control over us. Realising that helped me a lot.

Remember that you cannot control what others do, say, or think.

If you cannot control something 100%, all you can do is decide how to deal with it. You can train yourself to not care about the stares and comments. Sir Anthony Hopkins said, "Other people's opinions about you are none of your business."

They can think what they want. They don't know who you are. But you do.

I suggest you read A Guide to the Good Life, by William Irvine.

It has helped me immensely.

Weird correction, are you trying to say that whoops, I'm secretly a theist because I try to follow Stoicism?

Some philosophers have retooled ancient Stoicism as a modern non-religious life philosophy, and it adapts really well to modern secular values and a material world: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/dp/B0040JHNQG. The doctor of philosophy who wrote that book is very emphatic about the nonreligious nature of this notion of life philosophies. My point was that atheism is not a life philosophy, and if you simply reject religion -- which comes with life philosophies preinstalled -- you still need to find a life philosophy.

I found a couple books in the sidebar that are along the lines of what I'm looking for: A Guide to the Good Life and Get a Life: You Don't Need a Million to Retire Well.

link

A guide to the good life ancient, the art of ancient stoicism. It was life changing for me.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your cat. I've had a variety of cats (still have 2) and it hurts every time. You may want to find a support group to help you get through this. There are a lot of online supports groups, including r/petloss.

Do you still see a psychiatrist or a doctor? Maybe he can prescribe an anti-anxiety med until you get through this.

Regarding your creativity - make an appointment with yourself to release your creativity. It could be an hour a week, or more. (The Artist's Way by Julie Cameron is a good resource for this type of stuff - your local library could have it.) It might also help to start a journal and just commit to writing on one side of one page each evening.

I had a cat that lived to be 21 1/2 years old. He could be a real pain in the ass, but he had a great personality. The one thing that helped me with his passing is the following quote:

>To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. (Claude Campbell)

I hope you find peace. I did end up getting two older kittens shortly thereafter, and while they did not replace my cat, they helped.

Way of the Peaceful Warrior by Dan Millman

http://www.amazon.com/Way-Peaceful-Warrior-Changes-Lives/dp/1932073205/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1443297203&sr=8-1&keywords=way+of+the+peaceful+warrior

Combining a stoic philosophy with daily mindful meditation really helped me with that. I really cut down on my obsessive rumination and was able to move on from some past hurt emotionally. It may have been the single most helpful change I've made in my life.

If you're interested in stoicism, I recommend the following book to get you started: http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/0195374614

Wow, very touching - well done. You're describing an unfamiliar state to me, but you made it clear how to empathize.
Whomever the protagnist may be, I would wish that you/she/he would become less dependent on others in terms of what controls yours/theirs wellbeing - read more here. In any case, you can take pride in your ability to write. Great job!

A nice encapsulation of unhappy love with a low chance of ending happily. A feeling/situation that most of us have tried.

I like the visual language and your examples. I would love to see a bit more specificity to avoid it being too general.

If this is autobiographical, take solace - things will be better. Recommended reading.

If you need a place to start, you could try following The Artist’s Way, a 12 week guided journaling program. My first therapist actually recommended it to me. It nourishes your creativity and has you do a lot of prompts and exercises that can actually work really well alongside therapy. By the end you’ll have a routine of what she calls “morning pages” which is just journaling. Hope that helps!

If I could recommend a book for anyone it's The Art of Stoic Joy.. Surface level philosophy but it helped me at least consider why and how I think about things. Honestly I should probably reread it.

I'm not going to lecture you with a bunch of platitudes. I've been there, for different reasons, but I've been there. I get it. I tipped over the apple cart of my whole life and made some huge changes. I'd say if you're going down that road anyway then shake shit up. Not sure your financial situation will improve but make some dramatic changes and see if anything is worth sticking around for. If you're resigned to ending it then you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

And dude if you ever want someone to just bitch and complain to, you can shoot me a message. Best to you bud.

Some good practical advice has already been shared here, but I've got something better for you. Put your bass down and go get a copy of "The Music Lesson" by Victor Wooten. This book changed the way I think about being a musician, playing in a band, and about how to approach my instruments of choice. I shit you not - you will have multiple epiphanies if you pick up what Victor is putting down. Very easy and enjoyable read, too.

Music today is too focused on technique, notes, skills, showing off, speed, etc... The spirit of music is lost and Wooten's book will help lead you back to the simple joy of playing.

All that said, just playing roots is totally OK - its really all about what does the moment call for crossed with what you can do (ie getting into the flow state). Practicing technique, scales, learning other bass parts, etc - these are all worth doing but they are not 'playing bass in a band'. Those things will help you build ability (both fingers and ears, playing and listening) and confidence so when you do play in a group you can trust yourself, trust that you've put in some time and have some actual confidence. These are important things for any musician.

Another excellent book in this realm is Stephen Nachmanovitch's 'Free Play' https://www.amazon.com/Free-Play-Improvisation-Life-Art/dp/0874776317

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Good luck!

Of course! $14 to change your mindset although I’d recommend going to your local bookstore!

Rabbi Harold Kushner wrote a famous book exploring this issue. It's a very good read and thought provoking even if you don't draw his same conclusion. He ultimately gave up on the idea that God was all powerful. He decided for some reason God is not able to stop the evil that occurs and he would rather believe in an all good and all loving God than an all powerful one.

https://www.amazon.com/When-Things-Happen-Good-People/dp/1400034728/ref=asc_df_1400034728/

My slightly different approach is that there is a reason why God cannot stop all evil. This reason may be beyond our grasp or outside our vision. God choosing not to do a thing does not necessarily make him not all powerful. His choosing to not explain it to us, might be similar to why I don't explain linear algebra to a 5 year old.

As a light/easy read intro I like this book: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/dp/B0040JHNQG From there you can go to the original sources recommended in the FAQ and comments.

This won’t help immediately, but you should read Irvine’s Good Life. He goes specifically into this kind of thing, including how to deal with insults.

If your dad is being an ass, first ask yourself “is what he saying true?” If yes, then you should thank him. He’s helped you become a better person.

The second thing you need to consider is if you respect your father. Is he well informed? Does he understand what he’s talking about? If so, you might want to heed his words. If not, why are you paying them any attention? In fact, he probably deserves your pity rather than frustration.

The best way to respond to any perceived insults or whatever is humor. Not one-upsmanship. Simply laugh it off. At your core, don’t take whatever is being said seriously. Alternatively, simply don’t respond.

Finally, understand that when you allow your father’s behavior to impact your mood, you are handing over control of your tranquility to him. There are two harms, whatever harm your father is actually doing, and what you perceive as harm.

All of this presupposes that you understand your philosophy of life and are working from a core bedrock, or framework. You need to address this first before you will likely have the confidence to navigate your father’s behavior. In the meantime, I’d suggest looking at those interactions as a sort of way for you to practice applying your philosophical mindset.