I’d strongly suggest you read An Introduction to the Psychodynamics of Workplace Bullying
The book describes the detail of how a bully identifies their own weakness in the target, then symbolically tries to destroy the object representing their weakness.
Your last paragraph is ‘Nocebo Therapy’ where the therapist stirs up negative rumination without providing the tools to process the thoughts. The client then leaves the session feeling suicidal.
At its heart, you’re describing the analyst’s narcissistic limits. We know this because the best analysts guide their clients to solutions.
https://academicjournals.ca/index.php/cjp-rcp/article/viewFile/346/107
Ultimately we’re dealing with existentialism: How do humans fill the empty void of meaninglessness within themselves. Some attempt it repeatedly via sadism.
I don’t know if existential psychotherapy is useful, buy a I’ve heard people doing IFS have had a lot of progress.
My husband and I were married in our mid-twenties and had twins just a few months before our second anniversary. We had nine kids within 16 years and had a great adventure raising our family. All of our kids are adults -- all married -- and seven of them are parents. Being parents has been a great blessing to us as a couple and as individuals and we wouldn't change a thing. In November we'll celebrate our 43rd anniversary. Regarding your life changes -- reading Arlene Cardozo's book Sequencing will give you a very comprehensive idea of hundreds of women who've successfully managed the same life changes you're contemplating.
A generic example of the process is described here: https://www.amazon.com/Introduction-Psychodynamics-Workplace-Bullying/dp/178049162X
There’s a good discussion of the violation of group norms, envy etc, that you describe.
Your confusing feelings and thoughts are certainly not unique. First time motherhood rocks our world on every level and now you're in the midst of upheaval again. Sequencing by Arlene Cardozzo is a book all about these very same life changes. Cardozzo includes interviews with women who are struggling with all the changes of motherhood. Please read this book and then go to the five love languages website and learn more about building healthy relationships. It's a process and your marriage is definitely worthy of your very best effort because loving your husband well is the best way to love your child.
This reminds me of the obscure 'The Domestication of the Human Species'. Worth reading, if you like speculative nonfiction with an architectural bent.
Agreed, theres a risk they’ll solve the problem by excluding you if there’s a scapegoating mentality going on.
https://www.amazon.com/Coping-Trauma-Hope-Through-Understanding/dp/1585621692 is a great book by a respected clinician, but possibly outdated by now. Having a secure attachment figure available in your life is a key element to those who are able to overcome stressful events and those that become traumatized.
The basic VX6 manual is available here for $12.95; if you want to know more you can purchase the VX6 manual for $16.95. The basics of VX6 will not be covered under that manual, but the parts diagrams and descriptions are more than enough to get you started.
Being a Mum is a full time job and being a brand new Mum includes lots of overtime! Thank goodness for your Mum's help with your infant daughter -- what a blessing! The most helpful information about these life and career changing decisions can be found in Sequencing - Arlene Cardozo's very insightful book about women in the midst of these very same decisions. You'll be amazed by the stories of the women interview by Cardozo!
I spent like 20 minutes searching for that episode and still couldn't find it.
The book below might be of interest tho. The first half of the book discusses how the character came to be, Inspirations for the character, and how the culture at the time contributed to the success of columbo. Theres a free copy on z library that i can send to you through dm's if you want.
https://www.amazon.com/Columbo-Rhetoric-Inquiry-Resistant-Responders/dp/1783209852
My daughter had an excellent journal that helped her a lot, here are some links.
Stopping The Pain: Workbook for Teens
You feel things really powerfully, you need a better way to regulate what you are feeling. It will be okay. Try to find someone to help you learn DBT.
I recommend that you read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Insiders-Guide-Psychology-Major-Everything/dp/1433808153/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2PL4PVGSPUR0I&keywords=the+insider%27s+guide+to+the+psychology+major&qid=1659666253&sprefix=the+insider%27s+guide+to+the+psychology+majo%2Caps%2C200&sr=8-1 - I think it will really help you decide if you want to major in psychology (and it is inexpensive, short, and an easy read).