Did this come from Art of Living by Sharon Lebell? She liberally translates (interprets) Epictetus, so I am hesitant to accept this as Epictetus's exact thought.
As years go by, some things fade and some things sharpen. I hope you seek ways to help hurtful words fade and memories of fellowship sharpen instead of the other way around. There's a non-spiritual book called Buddha's Brain that is a quick easy read to get a person equipped with some skills of living with the stuff you live with. I hope you check it out.
My journey through meditation and mindfulness has been such a gorgeous complement to my health and fitness journey.
I would recommend reading the book Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation In Everyday Life. There are also many podcasts, blogs, GOOD instagram tags/accounts etc to follow about mindfulness that you can follow. The purpose of this is to simply keep your attention on the here and now, and on what is within your control.
Fixating on the past is not the here and now.
The "failures" or lost opportunities of the past are outside of your control.
Mindfulness is a wonderful way to approach these anxieties and intrusive thoughts, as well as to grow in many other parts of your life.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, I have been dealing with depression for decades and have never had a year as bad as this one. Mindfulness has helped with getting away from the negative / repetitive thoughts:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005NJ2T1G/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_30y9Fb64JBDG9
And this one helped me get out of my head and focus on small changes:
I hope this helps. Sending you good thoughts and hopes for a better year.
First thing: your thoughts are not you
Part of your mind got addicted and is now yelling at you for not giving the daily dose
Maybe try meditation to calm the mind, I especially recommend the 8 week mindfulness course. It teaches you how to observe, acknowledge and ignore the thoughts (also the screaming ones). They won't go away instantly but you will lessen their control over you. Remember: A smooth sea never made a skilful sailor
This is the book i started with. Don't let the buddhist cover fool you, it is very secular and matter of fact. It is very logically laid out, you might read a section, have a question about the section, the see it answered in the very next section.
This book is more of a tome than the first but it is a real gem. I think the amazon reviews can say more about it than I could but i have read close to a hundred books and this is by far the most thorough, complete, and distilled form of knowledge on the topic i have found, and it is heavily supported by current peer reviewed research and delves into the topic of consciousness in very cool ways. Again don't let the cover fool you. This book is concerned with one thing, efficacy, and seperates the dogma and symbolism from old teachings into easy to read and effective
Good luck!
The second edition just released and it is on Amazon kindle. (Which you can use on kindle devices as well as apple phones, iPads, and I think there is a kindle app for Android as well. There may also be other ways to access kindle books, not sure.
Here is a link (amazon US):
https://www.amazon.com/How-Sick-Second-Buddhist-Inspired-Chronically-ebook/dp/B07CL5Q4Z4/ref=sr_1_4?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1537925196&sr=1-4&keywords=how+to+be+sick&dpID=51TPeNU8fgL&preST=_SY445_QL70_&dpSrc=srch
En cuál país vive?
A course of mindful meditation. I don't mean just the meditation itself, but actually a proper course to try to instil the fundamental concepts of breaking ties and living in the now. If you have no other resources, this book is a good start.
I do the same thing. It helps me a ton at my job, but I have to actively do something to switch it off when I am not working. Exercise helps a lot, especially when I take n-actetyl selank before (slows endorphin degradation). Overall, it can be quite the cognitive hurdle.
When I was reading this wonderful book, I saw a few exercises on habit releasing, and am tempted to try them to see how it helps.
I can't know you or the details of your situation. But the way you describe yourself sounds familiar; like I've been where you are. In my case I discovered that I'd been caught up in exterior, superficial concerns. When I use a meditation technique to connect with what's underneath all the mental noise the sorts of issues that you've described lose their significance. I think I gain some appreciation for my self-worth. Since you seem out of options it's worth looking into. This is a good place to start.
You might really enjoy Buddha's Brain by Rick Hanson if you're interested in the neuroscientific aspect.
Another really good one (that covers a lot of ground) is Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment by Robert Wright
Obviously, these are written from a Buddhist perspective and don't use the same language as Eckhart Tolle does, but as a practicing Buddhist, both of the roads are headed straight for Rome. Neither of these books require a lot of Buddhist background/knowledge either - they're both very interesting (and helpful) reads, in my opinion.
> I read once in the center for study of nondual consciousness, that people who do experience a lot of nondual states tend to still get upset by two things: People driving dangerously around them
It's claimed to happen even when the traffic in question was elephants!
> In India they tell of a yogi who spent years and years alone in a cave, achieving rarefied states of samadhi. One day, satisfied that he had reached the end of his inner journey, the yogi came down from his mountain perch into a village.
> That day the bazaar was crowded. As he made his way through the crowd, the yogi was caught up in a rush to make way for a local lord riding through on an elephant. A young boy standing in front of the yogi stepped back suddenly in fright—stomping right on the yogi’s bare foot.
> The yogi, angered and in pain, raised his walking staff to strike the youngster. But suddenly seeing what he was about to do—and the anger that propelled his arm—the yogi turned around and went right back up to his cave for more practice.
(from Altered Traits)
one last question: can you advise what would be the best way for me to really learn how to meditate? I like mindfulness meditation (I think that's called Vipassana?).
I started with Headspace maybe two years ago and it introduced me to it, and that's the routine I kind of stuck with when I do it on my own. and Ive read a book called Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World, and I kind of dabbled in "The Mind Illuminated".....but what would you recommend for proper training?
I read this book: The Attention Revolution, some years back, and still find its recommendations for maintaining awareness in longer sits to be helpful.
As for the app, can't say as I just started it.
Buy & read book Mindful Way Through Depression and completely change your life.
Hi- are you me? Reading your title was like getting punched in the gut.
I took a pretty long hiatus from writing. A couple of years. I got caught up in life- wife, kids, house, bills, the works. Then I did the one thing I'd promised myself I would never do: I fully identified with my "day job" and forgot who I was.
My problem was that any time I "indulged" or did something I enjoyed, I was overcome with guilt. I should be [choose one: playing with kids, getting something done for work, doing something to improve my resume]. Writing? No way. Ain't nobody got time for that. I was fully caught up in tomorrow's problems. I was locked in that hell (unknowingly) for years. The more I slogged away at doing "normal shit," the more suppressed my creativity became.
I'll spare you the boring details, but I'll offer something that might help you. Check out 'mindfulness' and/or 'meditation.'
I'm at a super-basic "learn how to crawl" phase with mindfulness, but the rudimentary idea of "pay attention to your breathing" drawing you into the present moment so you don't fixate on the future (or the past... or both) really reinvigorated me.
I'm working my way through this book (found via a random "best books on mindfulness" Google search- so if anyone has something better feel free to drop a title). It's not a fun book, but I feel like it's an important one and it's helping me.
I feel for you OP, try to experience the "now" (even briefly) and put the pen to paper.
Hello,
I suffer from crippling anxiety attacks all the time.
https://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Way-through-Depression-Unhappiness-ebook-dp-B007T9FZRS/dp/B007T9FZRS
Get ahead of the curve and look into meditation. Although this book is about depression from the title, you could spend 10 minutes with this book and realize it will work on anxiety as well.
Any digital download of the book from Amazon will have an audio track that goes with it (available on the publisher's website) that has seven different meditation exercises to practice that range in duration from 10 minutes to 30 minutes.
The book will help you open your eyes to living more and focusing more in the moment.
Most anxiety triggers happen from a fear of the unknown with the mind trying to create an attempt to save itself from imminent danger, but our brain's wires will assume literally any small thing is worth troubling yourself over.
That catchphrase "don't sweat the small stuff, it's all small stuff" could not be more relevant here. As mentioned in the grounding exercise post, taking stock of what's around you and what's most immediately deserving of your attention (that's not related to your anxiety) are the keys to lowering your stress level as quickly as possible.
It would be the same for music. You need to train your must without anchoring it with anything external (i.e. music, guided meditation). I'd definitely recommend picking up a book likeMindfulness in Plain English and training with the breath.
Do you understand why I want you to train on the breath, rather than music or a guided app?
Get this book
I would seriously do your best to seek professional help. It is great to hear advice from people on the internet, but when you are feeling that low, there is a major imbalance in your brains chemistry.
There's a great book by Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson that discusses this at length. It's quite accessible. If you're looking for peer-reviewed literature I could also point you in the right direction. Or just google the authors' publications, that'll get you started.
Get the Headspace App and start with that. Also, read Mindfulness In Plain English.
There's a book called Mindfulness in Plain English that's pretty religion-neutral iirc (been a couple years since I lost my copy), but it's still a pretty great introduction to the concept.
I'd be careful with Zen stuff, since it's a pretty rough process that doesn't translate/adapt well into Western cultural norms. I need to do a deeper dive into it since I adore its elevator pitch, though.
Somewhat. Less about "not thinking" and more about experiencing what is happening in the moment, which may or may not include thoughts in words. I like practicing mindfulness in the shower, personally, as there's plenty of sensations to be with as I complete the task at hand.
Find yourself a book on meditation that appeals to your sensibilities and dive in. I started four years ago with Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World.
I second the idea of instruction.
As simple as meditation is, it's not easy. The lessening of suffering by observing and accepting suffering was and is a hard concept for me to internalize, too. It must be experienced, in my experience. Part of it is non-identification with suffering. What started to happen as I continued to practice is my sense of self separated from my experience of suffering. I deal with both mental and physical illnesses, including chronic pain, so this is no small thing. Words can't really nail the difference, but peace is something I experience and I didn't used to experience it.
I started with this book. Currently, I use Headspace, but have also dabbled with 10% Happier and read Sharon Salzberg.
I agree that CBT isn't great at challenging deeply held beliefs that have a lot of basis in fact. I find that therapists are sometimes at a loss when it comes to accurate negative thoughts. I took a quiz for a therapist once where I admitted to being a "failure" compared to my peers. The therapist immediately wanted this to be a focus of our work, and I was trying to explain to him that I went to prep school and college and had a masters degree and was living in my parent's basement with part time job that paid $12/hr. I was a failure by common usage of the term. I can still feel good about myself, but I have to somehow come to grips with that judgment that I think a lot of people would realistically put on me.
Meditation has made a big difference for me, though, in that it just arrests the downward spiral of rumination and anxiety. There's a great description in The Mindful Way Through Depression(https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007T9FZRS) about the process of trying to "think" or "do" your way out of depression. It just makes it worse (maybe that's what you've been doing?). If you're starting to meditate and you've struggled with depression, I can definitely recommend it.
Another thing I can deffos recommend is the right diagnosis and medication. I have bipolar 2, which was misdiagnosed as depression for most of my adult life because I didn't have much in the way of manic highs (but what I would do is just completely change career direction, etc). I'm now on meds that would have terrified me ten years ago, but I'm better.
But for real, if you want to achieve silence in your mind, this is one way to do it.
Thank you so much!!!
I truly believe that at this specific time in my life, Austin is the perfect place for me to live and grow. But of course, I also realize that Wherever You Go, There You Are.
I personally enjoy mindfulness. A nice, simple book for beginning it can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G
I would agree with another of the comments (SoldierOnce). You don't necessarily need to learn to relax (Although that can be good too, especially during breaks and after work!). Mindfulness is about tolerating the stress you have. You're starting a new job, likely new to the work-force in that setting, and so on - that's a lot of legitimate stress! Accepting that, and being okay with that, is the most important thing. Then it becomes less daunting and scary. To my perception, mindfulness is about saying to yourself "Oh, yep, I'm stressed right now, aren't I? I feel all sorts of ways about that meeting in an hour. And that's okay." Once you can make that shift to acceptance, it takes so much of the pressure off.
Have you tried CBD? It has helped me immensely when I've been horribly anxious but undesiring of actually being high.
Though if you can make some headway actually getting to the root of your issue that will ultimately be healthier than constantly medicating. Easier said than done, I know, but never lose hope for yourself. The human mind is an incredibly versatile thing. You mention you've tried various therapy methods - just because you haven't had success with these doesn't mean that therapy can't help you. One that has helped me a lot is mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT), a combination of mindfulness practices with CBT. It addresses certain methods for taming intruding thoughts/emotions in the moment. I suggest you read this article to help understand the biological underpinnings of anxiety and what you can do to combat them.
http://www.mindfulnessmd.com/2014/06/21/the-neuroscience-of-mindfulness-anxiety/
I recommend the book "Mindfulness: an Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World" by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. It's basically a self-administered MBCT regiment that you can do on your own with a minimal time commitment. Don't lose hope for yourself, anxiety is a vicious cycle than can easily consume you, but just know that careful mental effort on your part CAN begin to break that cycle.
http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Eight-Week-Finding-Peace-Frantic-ebook/dp/B005NJ2T1G
I've read a lot of Stoicism and gave this one to my son as an intro so it's easier to digest: http://www.amazon.com/Art-Living-Classical-Happiness-Effectiveness-ebook/dp/B00AHC9PZW/ref=sr_1_8?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1456208239&sr=1-8&keywords=epictetus