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If you're like me, you're wading through a lifetime of learned feelings and presentation. Even though it's never been quite right, the pain of that has been low grade enough, that I've been comfortable enough in guy mode for so very long.
One of the markers for me is that I'm personally drawn to feminine things to such a high degree. I find that the more that I talk about my feelings, the more I feel open to feeling personally feminine. That said, voicing some desires and goals out loud feels wrong at times, but I think it's because I'm cutting down the defenses that I built over the years to make sure that I fit, and that my 'bad' desires aren't discovered. I think the older you are, the longer you've successfully lived with self-built walls, the more it's the case that you are your own most potent gatekeeper.
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So, as I'm building my army of trusted friends, I'm talking more and more as they have questions. This is serving to both strengthen these friendships, and to help me to see myself as a woman as opposed to as planning to be a woman (that was still a tough sentence to type!). The other thing that I'm doing is exploring feminine things online to help put my head in that space. It's a process, it's a little scary, but the more I do, the more comfortable, and the more positive it feels.
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I haven't read Yes, You Are Trans Enough yet, but I think it may be helpful for people like us.
The other shameful part is that those of us who aren't normally like that often get shamed into being more 'manly' - i.e. acting like dicks - around other men. I've always preferred hanging out socially with women because of this.
Yes, there is a thing. Check out this book:
Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000OT8GTE/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
In it she suffers severe depression as a result of her experiment.
Not quite what you are asking for but I cannot recommend enough Norah Vincent's Self Made Man for those interested in finding out female experience of what it is like to be a man.
I'm remembering a book called Self-Made Man that covered a woman's experiences masquerading as a man to catch a more authentic view of masculine interactions. It might be interesting to you. I can give you some more of my thoughts on masculinity if you want, but they'll be rambly and somewhat scattered.
For the simplest explanation why he specifically says that white men are the most put upon people, though, I suggest doing some quick google research on white feminism. People are always going to be more aware of the issues that they themselves face, and consequently think that they're the weightiest issues of the time. So while there's a lot to untangle about masculinity and a lot more about what issues get air time vs. which ones don't, never underestimate the power of good old fashioned cognitive biases.
> If they end up using it, I'm sure it's for a good reason
I would recommend you read Doomsday Machine by Daniel Ellsberg (yeah, that Daniel Ellsberg). It may change your notions on that.
>Like I said I generally feel a lack of happiness about gender but not "bad" about it.
This is kind of what dysphoria felt like for me. I imagine not every cis person takes every last opportunity to look at themselves in the mirror and say "Damn, gurl!" to themselves, but... in my case, it was more about how my baseline was just a general apathy about my features to sadness or active distaste for some of my other body parts.
Looking through your post history, I think you might relate to a book I recently read: "Yes, You Are Trans Enough"
The author, Mia, is a trans woman who spent a lot of years not feeling explicitly bad about her body parts; or actively engaging in hobbies that didn't align with her AGAB. She also reports that she kind of was waiting for someone else to bestow the label "trans" upon her, feeling that because her experience was not like the experiences of other trans people around her, it was not a label that would be appropriate for her to take for herself.
Spoiler: She is trans enough, and you are too.
>@1:30 "everything being in God's hands it [testing weapons] cannot be anything other than good.
Such Bullshit!
I just finished reading The Doomsday Machine: Confessions of a Nuclear War Planner
It left me with this impression: we need to spread the word - we all face an existential threat. If we are to survivie, we must demand responsible governments and open societies.
There's a great book that came out in the last year or two, called The Doomsday Machine. It details the process for nuclear weapons release, chain of command, common misconceptions, etc. Starts off from when we realized nuclear reactions could be used in war, to how the release protocols have changed over the years, and how there's been a few close calls.
An excellent read if you're interested in how America handles its nuclear arsenal.
And then she published a book about it!
https://www.amazon.com/Maximizing-Future-Eliminating-Student-Loan-ebook/dp/B0725GCVDM
The many negative reviews mirror exactly what people are saying in this thread.
Contrary to what Hollywood has taught you, there's more too it than the President saying "Nuke them"
There's a great book that came out in the last year or two, called The Doomsday Machine. It details the process for nuclear weapons release, chain of command, common misconceptions, etc. Starts off from when we realized nuclear reactions could be used in war, to how the release protocols have changed over the years, and how there's been a few close calls.
An excellent read if you're interested in how America handles its nuclear arsenal.
I read The Game when I was in my early 20s and the techniques it describes work quite well.
I read this book recently by a North Korean defector. Pretty good read, but I wonder if Kim Jong Il wrote the plot of this movie, he wrote plots for a lot of the movies during his lifetime.
Eu fiz uso anos atrás, mas parei por algumas questões pessoais e por não sentir diferença.
A terapia ao meu ver fez muito mais diferença do que a medicação. Até porque assim, a eficácia de alopatia é bem baixa com depressão (é cerca de 30% se não me falha a memória). Recomendo também a leitura desse livro, Lost Connections (infelizmente, sem tradução pro português) pra entender que antidepressivos não é essa coca cola toda, e que a depressão pode ser sistemática e não só uma coisa de "neurotransmissores desbalanceados" (até porque não existe exame para detectar isso).
I found this guy doing some crypto research, as he's an influencer in the BCH adoption space, but as I went back in time through his videos I saw he got his start as a follower of The Game and he would post videos of his pickups so that others could see how it's done. He's a Cali American I believe (David Bond is a nom de plume for Steven Mapel, a computer technician at California State University), and here's a cringy video of him picking up a girl at the Eaton's Centre. I debated whether or not I should post this, but decided to so that young girls and women can see who some of these people are. Better to know than not know.
Start by reading this book, it has a practical way of modeling depression which will make some actionable steps you could take more obvious.
Unfortunately there are no silver bullets. You have to set stage, do the (right) work and get the world to cooperate with you. It's a tall order, but I am in a similar situation on the UWS if you want to work together.
❤️ I LOVE IT, mate!! So actually I had nearly forgotten about all of this until I recently read about a third person having this exact same experience with this exact same movie 😂
It's in the first chapter of this book
On Writing: A Memoir Of The Craft- Stephen King
Really enjoyed this book https://www.amazon.ca/Lost-Connections-Uncovering-Depression-Unexpected-ebook/dp/B07583XJRW
I was thinking of going on SSRIs and it convinced me to wait and try some lifestyle changes first. When I mentioned to my doctor I was thinking of trying SSRIs it seemed like she couldn't wait to write the prescription. I'm feeling a lot better now and glad I held off.
As someone that suffered through depression, I have also become anti pills as I have reflected on my life. I highly recommend reading the book Lost Connections. I didn't read it during my decade and a half period of being depressed but it did make me understand how I was able to overcome it.
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I am not into reading much, like one book per two months, but I could NOT put this book down because it so relevant to what is going on right now.
Done in one week and I am a slow reader.
> My impression is women just broadly don’t get the male experience, and how much social capital you lose by being male instead of female...
If you want to give them a taste, I recommend having them read <em>Self-Made Man</em> by Norah Vincent. She disguises herself as a man and goes to strip clubs, dates straight women, joins a bowling team, and even joins a men's support group. People sometimes assumed she was gay, but nobody clocked her. Afterwards she revealed that she was a woman and while her male friends were surprised, they took it well.
I'm a man, so it was funny to read her experiences. She was shocked by how hard it is to pick up women. She was also surprised by what women found attractive in men. She initially thought that she'd have an easy time dating because she'd understand women better than men. But to her surprise, women much preferred a strong and stoic psyche to a vulnerable and empathetic one. She also had no idea just how much men suffer (since they tend to do so quietly).
Her view changes are best summed up in an interview with ABC:
> "Men are suffering. They have different problems than women have, but they don't have it better," she said. "They need our sympathy. They need our love, and maybe they need each other more than anything else. They need to be together."
> Ironically, Vincent said, it took experiencing life as a man for her to appreciate being a woman. "I really like being a woman. ... I like it more now because I think it's more of a privilege."
If one of Russias nuclear silos lose contact with Moscow and there is radiation detected over Moscow. The missiles will self launch (target USA) and transmit to every other nuclear silo they fly over that they need to launch as well.*
*The Doomsday Machine - Daniel Ellsberg https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B074HZMN71/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
According to The Doomsday Machine total war was the only option, at least for the first half of the Cold War. At least that wasn't part of the planning for the US and therefore by NATO. That being said, the security measures on individual weapons was such that individual uses could be ordered, but without prior planning and communication the number of weapons that could be used in this way would be quite small (at least in my opinion).
If you haven't read it already, you might find Johann Hari's book "Lost Connections" of interest. His main thesis is basically what you just summarized, that societal factors that are at least a major contributor to depression today.
I think most of us tend to focus on individual treatments and attempts at cures, mainly because the societal factors are too big for us to really change in a meaningful way. We are stuck in Western society, unless one really wants to try a radical change in lifestyle...which seems out of the grasp for most of us, and might cause more problems than it solves.
If you like to read books, I have heard this book has helped a lot of people.
Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression - and the Unexpected Solutions https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07583XJRW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_f8WxDb7DE5Q57
There's probably more to it than this image seems to say, so buy the book to find out!
Please don't buy the book.
One helpful resource is "On Writing" by Stephen King. The first half is a memoir, and the second half deals with the craft of writing.
Could not have said it better myself dude. Also, SC2 gives you a glimpse into how to have the best mindset to succeed in life, particularly in something competitive.
No worries if you're not a reader, but I read a great book about this topic called "The Art of Learning." The author is a guy who was a chess prodigy as a kid (there is a movie about him called "Searching for Bobby Fischer").
He then grew up and got into competitive martial arts of some kind and became a world champion at that. He breaks down everything he ever felt or struggled with while becoming a master at two completely different skills.