You should be lifting as heavy as you can with proper form. Sets of ~6 reps. Squat, Deadlift, Bench, & Military Press is where most of your gains will come from. I cannot recommend THIS book enough. Keep it heavy and adjust your diet for fat loss.
Chances are you're talking when you should just say, "This conversation is over until you can speak me respectfully."
Stop telling her what you do then, it sounds like you're asking her for permission to do the things you are going to do anyway.
I highly recommend you read this book:
https://www.amazon.com/What-Women-Want-When-They-ebook/dp/B00JV8UYO4
Bigger Leaner Stronger. Its a book/program that I really like. Not quite as mainstream as some of the others, but it seems to work well for me. The book was $0.99 on amazon recently. He goes over most of the stuff you can find in the wiki, but I liked the review.
https://www.amazon.com/Bigger-Leaner-Stronger-Bodybuilding-Weightlifting-ebook/dp/B006XF5BTG/
It helped a lot for me to understand the psychology behind pornography addictions. Your brain literally reacts the same way it would with hard drugs. It rewires itself to need more of "it." It produces more dopamine in the brain (the itch) more than the serotonin (the satisfaction) can rightly deal with. Your brain makes habits and triggers and there is so much on the psychology of addiction that I can't cover in a single message.
I would recommend this book if you want to read more about it: <strong>https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW</strong>
Don't give up hope and don't stop fighting the itch, the more you fight it, the more your brain remembers how to fight it.
If your therapist is just saying "I don't know what to tell you" maybe you should find a new one because that's literally their job.
I can't tell you how to fix your situation but for me the under lying cause of my aggressive out bursts was covert depression. Seems like there's some self hatred from what you shared which I also experienced.
Perhaps that's not the issue for you but it seems like you've exhausted a lot of your outlets. There's a great book about it called "I don't want to talk about it". Check it out if you're interested. https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Talk-About-Overcoming-ebook/dp/B000FC0Q0C
Best of luck mate
I'd say read the book "What Women Want when they Test men", as it's literally written about insecure women like this.
One solution is the dodge:
"Who ever gives me the bigger boner at the time."
**Smile and smirk**: "I know what I want to save from death, my blue balls because they're about to explode." Then you start kissing her and loving her up - and go to sexy town.
Others have said not to play her game, that the only winning move is to not play... The other thing you do is change the damn game. Women say these things when they're feeling insecure, so the nature of the solution is to give her emotional comfort & security.
https://www.amazon.in/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Your Brain on Porn
Book by Gary Wilson
I'm saying that if we didn't watch porn I think it would be fine, but since we've hot wired them together it's not a good idea and seldom have I seen in myself or others any success without giving up both. Porn is a Sin, masturbation alone is not.
Your Brain On Porn by Gary Wilson would be a good resource for learning about the science and the plethora of experiences behind these claims
this book called bigger leaner stronger is a really good book on how to make more muscles. even tho it's mostly popular with body builders it works for making muscles for boxing too. especially the diet part
https://www.amazon.com/Bigger-Leaner-Stronger-Building-Ultimate-ebook/dp/B006XF5BTG
The cardio isn't really necessary, mainly just the weight training. Also, you could get great results just doing 3x per week if 4x is too much. And you don't need a trainer, you just need to dial in your diet/nutrition and follow a decent routine like Mike Matthews' Bigger Leaner Stronger or Rusty Moore's Visual Impact Muscle Building program (which is the one I used to do my original transformation).
This book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bigger-Leaner-Stronger-Building-Ultimate-ebook/dp/B006XF5BTG
is brilliant. You can ignore some (most/all) of the diet stuff if you want as it's aimed at people who really want to get into it, but there's workouts in there and clear instructions on most of the major lifts (and any lifts that are in the workouts but not described in detail you can youtube). I started at the gym following his workouts, scribbled bit of paper with the plan tucked into my shorts - found it really useful
(I think from looking at your profile that you're a guy but there is an equivalent book for women too if necessary)
I can no longer do back squats, deadlift and bench press due to lower back and shoulder injuries (unrelated to weight room). Currently I follow Unstoppable by John Rusin twice a week. Monday is Upper and Friday is lower. here's the lower workout
I also do 2 X days bodyweight training using Freeletics.
I can only get away with Goblet squats 7 sets of 5 reps with 22kg/48 lbs dumbbell or kettle bell depending on what's available at my gym.
Before pandemic, I used to run a 5 day per week split from Bigger, Leaner,Stronger by Mike Matthews
Definitely recommend this book.
This subreddit has a lot of good information and experience as well, but that book is a must-read in my opinion.
For supply, I ended up going UL and haven't looked back. Dealing with the medical system is the worst. I am not sure who the big labs are anymore, but here is a search that will definitely have some recommendations. That's how I eventually ended up doing what I'm doing.
I hope that helps.
Good luck on this journey - it's a game changer.
Excellent Home Gym + PT, especially in the beginning to help you with the right weightlifting techniques. After that optional.
Read the following book and follow its advice, does not take long to read. It really has everything you need to embark on the right path, has been transformational for me personally as well.
https://www.amazon.com/Bigger-Leaner-Stronger-Building-Ultimate-ebook/dp/B006XF5BTG
Very good luck to you. Please be safe.
You seem well informed but the book 'Anabolics' by William Llewellyn is useful if you're not already aware of it: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Anabolics-Book-William-Llewellyn-ebook/dp/B005II5Z7M/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=william+llewellyn+anabolics&qid=1664730732&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIxLjc4IiwicXNhIjoiMC43MiIsInFzcCI6IjAuOTIifQ%3D%3D&sprefix=william+lle%2Caps%2C99&sr=8-2
Would you be willing to DM me where you are sourcing your meds from?
I know this is 3 years old but I'mma explain what this whole futanari explosion thing was about.
LGBT are probably way more hornier than straight people. During COVID and monkeypox break out you know damn well they'll be the first to catch both.
Propaganda isn't just in your advertisement and main stream media. It's in your porn media too. And that's why a lot of kids either decide they are the wrong gender or they have adults coach kids into thier sick fantasy because of this mental virus.
I'm gonna quit porn for good. Here have some books
Clean of heart: overcoming habitual sins against purity https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1507617518/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr=
I think this book is a good coverall, in terms of diet and exercise.
It also reviews cutting and bulking cycles.
Best of luck!
https://www.amazon.com/Bigger-Leaner-Stronger-Building-Ultimate-ebook/dp/B006XF5BTG
Forgive me if I'm wrong, I'm assuming you're a man as well, but I was just discussing this book with a friend today: I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression. Maybe check it out?
I also want to recommend Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. This is the book that finally let my husband see how the difficulties of his childhood were weighing on his life. It was a real life-changer for his life and our relationship, because I finally got a partner who was willing to engage with emotions and wasn't ragingly depressed and miserable from PTSD. You've had some extraordinary challenges, and you had to shut down to survive but that's meant to be just until you're safe, not forever. You can feel better, I promise. You can have a happy life.
First of all, sexual thoughts ESPECIALLY as a teenage boy are normal. They feel different because well before you were prepubescent child - so yeah, not only is this new, but you're in the hyper-charged phase of it.
That said, early porn exposure does have neuroplastic effects on the brain's reward centers and sexual behavior. FosB for enzymes involved in all kinds of addictive behaviors show up in porn users and it explains why you become so sensitized to triggers associated with porn - like seeing a girl and then BAM you're thinking BOOBIES!
Consider visiting /r/nofap, and checking out the book Your Brain on Porn to see if that sounds like you. If you just want to be smarter about abusing dopamine and healing your sexual normalcy if you really think you're "not normal" read Dopamine Nation.
And please be aware, this is an addiction were talking about. Remember him of this and maybe watch together this movie https://justwatch.com/us/movie/thanks-for-sharing.
I'm reading this book (https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW?dplnkId=ee1069ac-12a1-45e4-b918-1d5f55b1cf37), and it has been great for me to understand my addiction and how to deal with it.
One part of being addicted is that we might fall and how we treat ourselves when we do is as important as managing to stay out of it. Forgiving yourself is as important as receiving mercy from the other person and support to keep it going.
Treat this with the seriousness it requires and work it through therapy together. It will hurt and will get messy before it gets better, but trust me, it is very rewarding not get out of this mindset.
You need to readYour Brain on Porn.
Read it for him. But read it all before talking to him.
He'll need your compassion.
He's already swimming in a sea of self-loathing for his lack of self-control over his addiction. Especially saying he probably can't even admit to himself it IS an addiction.
Read that book. It will help you understand SO much more and maybe give you a path forward.
One of you, or both of you, need to read Your Brain on Porn.
Sometimes it's very technical, but finally you'll understand.
Consider reading Dopamine Nation together as it covers a much broader array of issues than just boys/porn.
But, his problems are most likely due to his compulsion.
And you're an angel for working with him.
Read Your Brain On Porn so you can get a sense of the science (and other's journeys) of how much porn can impact your reward system, your motivation, and your relationships and ED.
As just a tiny example, go look at the difference in the size of the dopamine neuron in the second link in this post. You DO NOT want shrunken dopamine neurons.
Progress is progress.
Remember your WHY. Remember the positives you're striving towards. Don't make it all resistance.
Continuously build your mind with books and things like this that remind you how much better things will be as you move forward on your journey.
You must feel PULLED towards the good behavior, not just squeezing-tight against the bad.
Have you read Your Brain on Porn?
ANABOLICS 11th Edition by William Llewellyn is a really great book. I have the paperback of the 8th edition, and it is one of the fitness related books I still use a lot for references or looking up information.
The ebook is better for researching though, since you can search for terms and quickly jump the pages.
If you really want to be done with it then at this very second, the instant you read this sentence, delete your collection. You feel that resistance? Thats the lowest version of yourself trying to pull you underwater and keep you there. Face him right now, if not you're just on here procrastinating what you know you need to do and eventually will have to do.
The thing about addiction is they are 80% mindset and 20% biology. Being successful in life is having mastery over the biological drives that will test you until you die. You've cranked the knob to 11 on your dopamine and reward system which is going to hijack your thoughts for a little bit until you get this handled because the knob is going to go to 0. Sex used to be a reward for being a man that women were attracted to, now your fooling yourself that you're this badass that mates with multiple women a day for doing nothing.
I used to be exactly the same in my early 20's. No Fap as well as reading this book really solved the issue entirely for me. If you need some accountability let me know dude. You got this, stop being a wiener (literally lol) and face your dark side, its the most liberating feeling in the world.
https://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-Porn-Pornography-Addiction-ebook/dp/B00N2AH8NW
Nah you need to burn fat in order to see the muscle underneath anyway. If you eat the right sort of calories in the right amounts then it shouldn't make you lose muscle. This book explains everything really well https://www.amazon.co.uk/Bigger-Leaner-Stronger-Building-Ultimate-ebook/dp/B006XF5BTG
You waited 9 days for that? I've been living rent-free in your head for over a week? Jesus dude, get some help. And read a fucking book so you won't look like such an idiot the next time you try talking about steroids.