I feel you, I was blocked for 25years.
And then I stumbled upon Julia Cameron's "The artist's way"
It's a toolbox, packed with exercices and inspirational quotes, It's a course in several chapter to unblock you and pick off your shoulders all those bricks of compressed bad feelings abd false beliefs that are bringing you down. You'll need a notebook and pencil, and often your art tools too.
It has effectively unblocked me. I can create again, instead of just piling up new crafts and arts materials (I just have to buy my favourite watercolor when there's 30% off, even if I know I won't use it in the near future, for instance), that came in handy now that I'm unblocked and with the lockdown.
The link sends you to the "look inside" feature so you can see how it's organized. I didn't follow the 12weeks timeline, I just grab the book and continue when I feel I'm ready for it.
I still do the Morning Pages every now and then, to cleanse myself from any dark thoughts that are bringing me down, a little like a pensieve (HP).
Highly recommend it! But not in audio, this is a book you'll be going back to, better get the paperback.
Not super sure if this will help, but my WS seems to be making progress dealing with spirals with IC teaching him self-soothing stuff (meditation, derp breathing, coming to me for reassurance, etc) plus the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. My WS has got a lot stewing around in his head so I can't tell you what it is in that book or what other things regarding shame hes thinking of.. but there is a section in there for "shame resilience."
She's got a lot of you tube videos and books that i don't know much about. But my WS said this Ted Talk: https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o was a good preview of the beginning part of the book he's reading. So you guys can check it out and see if theres stuff in there that seem like a good match for what can help.
Reminds me of a book I love that might help you as well! It’s about how to work with each emotion. It’s amazing!
‘Letting Go - David R. Hawkins’
https://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-David-R-Hawkins-ebook/dp/B00EY818TQ
I truly understand where you’re coming from. I loved writing when I was a kid and then, for unfathomable reasons (to me now at almost 50) stepped away from it. I want to recommend this book—it has changed my life:
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Even if you do only some of the exercises, this book can help change you’re thinking and get back in touch with the writer inside you.
>I just want to let it go and move on.
Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins. Cannot recommend it enough.
Regarding art block. There's a great book called The Artist's Way. https://www.amazon.com/Artists-Way-25th-Anniversary-ebook/dp/B006H19H3M
It can get a little too meta-spiritual for some, but it is filled with processes and thoughts on nurturing the creative spirit. It requires some real work, but its well worth it in my opinion. Morning Pages alone is a big game changer.
This may sound harsh. For that, I'm sorry...
You keep saying "I should have..." You cannot unfuck a situation after the fact. Sitting around wallowing in the shoulds of the past are not doing anything positive for you. You're merely creating your anxiety.
You're very very young. That's both a good and a troublesome thing. Good because this happened young. You have your entire life ahead of you. Troublesome, because you're young and haven't yet developed the life skills and emotional maturity to know how exactly to cope with what you're feeling. Neither of these things are bad. My brother, I promise you'll get through this.
This book changed not only my outlook, but also my life, for the better. Maybe it can help you.
F**k It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07K3VTLP8/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_ZM30V0JC4MVS2S4H2ZEX
Last, look into mindfulness practice. I think it will be so helpful.
I know it hurts buddy. However, I promise, it will get better.
(((Hugs)))
You should read this book. It’s fascinating. A lot of research coming about about how emotional trauma can lead to physical ailments.
https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Supernatural-Common-People-Uncommon-ebook/dp/B0746RN3G7/ref=nodl_
What initially looks and sounds like a joke is revealed over a relatively short count of pages to be the ultimate side road away from fear, anger, and sadness. I still have my issues of course as anyone does, but it's a lot easier for me to let a lot of things go because of this book.
I’m going to recommend you check this book out here. It is the most complete explanation into your nature, and how to fully unlock your potential as a spiritual being 🙏🏼
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I've always been a big logic & reason guy so I relate to where you are coming from. The one book that really opened me up to this concept was "Becoming Supernatural" by Dr.Joe Dispenza. It is a heavy read but it contains a lot of the "science" behind LOA including brain scans.
It's honestly really fascinating, once I started practicing manifestation and truly surrendered/ fully bought in a lot of positive changes occurred. Ultimately I manifested something that on paper seemed impossible but did become reality so it's undeniable to me now.
Here's the book in case you decide to check it out: https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Supernatural-Common-People-Uncommon-ebook/dp/B0746RN3G7
Also pretty much all of the guided meditations he explains in the book can be found for free on youtube rather than paying a bunch for them.
Hey Twin! Thanks for this. Yes, you’re right. I guess it’s not just boredom but a feeling like I’m not doing enough. But pushing through. Trying to just “do” anything, even if it’s small. I think I read a few other posts of yours. I appreciate your honest check-ins. Also not sure if you’ve ever read The Artist’s Way . It’s not quit-lit, but a good change up if you’re looking for something that’s still guided and is geared toward creativity (which can definitely fill boredom gaps!), and might take your mind off just “I will not drink”. My friend has been recommending it to me for years but I only just bought it. Writing morning pages is already helpful.
I recommend The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. It doesn't directly address CPTSD, but it does talk a lot about the inner critic (Cameron calls it the censor) and the inner child. There are a lot of exercises that are helpful.
Very interesting, thanks. If you like to read about spiritual experiences, then I recommend you this book, I found it very interesting.
Tienes que practicar no prestarle atención a esa parte de ti que te dice que no tienes nada interesante que escribir.
Te propongo un ejercicio que leí en un libro. Cada día tienes que rellenar 3 páginas. Solo hay dos reglas:
Escribe lo primero que se te pase por la mente. Da igual si es una tontería o no tiene sentido. Si no sabes qué escribir escribe "no se qué escribir" hasta que rellenes las 3 páginas.
El objetivo no es hacer literatura ni escribir bien, es rellenar papel. La autora del libro dice que es mejor escribir a mano, pero yo creo que es cuestión de gustos.
I have read a lot of books on self-help and spirituality, and Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender is definitely the best one I've found.
Can I recommend a book? Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender. It has been extremely helpful to me in dealing with the same negative emotions you seem to have.
The key point in the book is basically let go of negative emotions anytime you want to. Among other things it explains that a negative feeling can be the source of thousands or even millions of thoughts.
I suggest you to look at the feeling which is fueling these thoughts you're having. Ignore the thoughts, and just acknowledge the feeling. Then if you want to you can simply let go of this feeling. When you realize that don't need the feeling it pretty much evaporates by itself.
And it looks like a good book (despite the title making it sound like it's only for narcissists haha), I'll check it out. Thanks OP!
> there's being me someone who hasn't even talked to a girl for five plus minutes there's a big difference between the two
I'll say it one more time: Why is that a problem?
>You know what just forget it you're clearly one of those conspiracy theory wack jobs
umm.. ok.. not sure where you got that from. I got some of my beliefs from books such as this: https://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-Surrender-David-Hawkins-ebook/dp/B00EY818TQ/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
Is the author of that book a "conspiracy theory wack job"?
The reason you are scared of others perceiving you as a "creep" is because of your PRIDE and EGO. The solution to your problems is to LET GO of your pride
Letting go means being AWARE of your fears, LETTING it come up and run its course without RESISTING it. SURRENDER to it. For example, just imagine some people say directly in your face that you're creepy as fuck. Just LET them say that without resisting.
By letting go, the "real" you just WITNESSES the thoughts and feelings your ego wants you to feel. By letting go, you stop identifying with your EGO and you will free yourself from the need to "win" and outcompete others.
Prideful people are CONSTANTLY DEFENSIVE/scared and are DRAINED of energy. OTOH, humble people CAN'T be humiliated because they let go of pride. Having ego increases your fear. When you no longer need to PROTECT your ego, criticisms and insults will NOT hurt because there is nothing to PROTECT
People buy expensive clothes and cars, crave social status to protect their ego. It's sad and astonishing how most people in our society end up being manipulated into working jobs they hate just so they can earn enough money on stuff they don't need just because it improves their social status. The simple solution to their problems is to just LET GO OF PRIDE
The other way to overcome your fear is with self-acceptance. You need to acknowledge all the parts of yourself that you dislike and hate. By ACKNOWLEDGING Them, they no longer control you
I used to feel hopeless by you. Reading this book helped alot: https://www.amazon.com/Letting-Go-Surrender-David-Hawkins-ebook/dp/B00EY818TQ/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8#customerReviews
If you liked this and want a quick fiction read check out The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
I write dark BDSM erotic romance. It's got a good market with numerous top 100 overall books in the genre. Do I write like other authors? Nope. Do I have a more literary slant? Definitely. Does that make the story less entertaining and captivating? Definitely not. It's a multi-layered story with so many different ways to look at it that it appeals to a huge range of people.
I like to compare it to The Alchemist's story structure combined with Stephen King's The Gunslinger's descriptions combined with whips, chains, and dirty sex.
The scotch metaphor was good (unedited, so it still needs lots of tightening up):
>I took another sip of my Scotch and stared into the dark liquid as I placed the tumbler down on the bar. It was clear, free of the clouds that would have come had it been chilled or mixed with ice. I saw myself in its reflection, and I knew that unlike the Scotch, my eyes were hazy and impure. The cold of loss had touched them, and they had found nothing to bring back their old warmth.
Thanks for the luck! I'll need it lol. Glad I'm still officially employed at my old job!
Search Inside Yourself. It's written for engineers and other practical-minded folks. Terrific!