The best New Age Mysticism books: Reddit reviews

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Remember the greatest gift you can give her is the boundaries and space to discover that she is enough on her own.

Codependent No More . This book changed my life and my approach to relationships.

She went from devout to athiest in 1 month... but claims you are her God? No, dude, this cannot and will not end well for you. Submitting in a BDSM context is a bit different than calling you her God... BDSM should be built on trust, communication and an understanding of expectations. Codependency is a terrible thing, easily confused in the space as that trust, but its terrible.
Might seem odd, but read this book to learn more. It's a classic text about what codependency is: https://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025

https://www.amazon.com/Road-Less-Traveled-Timeless-Traditional/dp/0743243153

This book is used to help encourage people to get treatment for their mental health issues. Get the audiobook, it's only about 4 hours. It could potentially the thing that drives you to a therapist/psychiatrist. Depression is very real and if left untreated can be fatal. Please sit and listen to the audiobook. It's on audible but you can probably torrent it. Good luck.

Reminds me of a book I’m reading called Codependent No More

Glad you’re focusing on self-care and what’s right for you!

If he had depression and rejects any type of way of addressing or handling it, then he is choosing this behavior. I'm sorry, maybe that's unkind or not modern thinking, but it's what I believe (and also how my therapist views it vis a vis struggles I have with my own spouse). So, I would then view your job as to determine what your boundaries are in relation to someone who chooses not to participate in your marriage or family life.

It is not at all 100% applicable, but I found the book Codependent No More very helpful for a somewhat similar dynamic. It emphasizes a few things:

1. You cannot control him, only yourself.
2. Bending over backwards to accommodate the behavior by taking on all of the workload, is a way of enabling that harms you.
3. Are there SOME areas you can assert boundaries? For example, are there things that he doesn't reciprocate such that they are essentially extra favors you do him. Doing his laundry, for example, or providing extra things for his convenience. Find ways to reduce your workload and use that extra time and energy to meet your own needs because no one else is going to.
4. Sometimes all you can do to change a dynamic is to change your own actions in that dynamic. As above, you can't make others change. But sometimes when you change your own actions to be healthier, it creates an improvement cycle that results in other changes as well. This has been my experience.

So a lot of the book is about addiction, and that may not apply. But it is a really helpful read. Take what you need from it, what benefits you, and ignore what doesn't apply. I cannot tell you how much this book changed my life (and my marriage) for the better.

A starting point that worked for me was picking up a copy of Anger from the local library, reading through it and kind of thinking about it one chapter at a time. Alternatively, a lot of the advice is somewhat similar to what can be found in the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. And in the end both of them boil down to essentially the same message as the OP; being angry at someone hurts you and not them, everyone makes mistakes, sometimes grave ones, and dwelling on them accomplishes nothing except to increase and spread your pain. People who hurt you often do so because they are acting out their own pain and anger in some way, and doing the same only repeats the cycle pointlessly. That doesn't mean you have to forgive them (although it's nice if you can find your way to that); it's more about giving you tools to move on with your life and leave your anger behind. I think Anger presented the ideas in a way best arranged to provoke reflection and adjustment of my outlook (which makes sense, since it was written by a Buddhist monk). In the most general sense, the way to make use of these tools is by reflecting on them and consciously choosing to put them into action. And it doesn't happen all at once - I still struggle sometimes when I am reminded of the things that I used to be angry about, but now I have the tools to get on with my life and not let dwelling on those things consume me or lead me to behavior that I will regret later.

Your dad acted like a jerk and it sounds like he acts like a jerk a lot. I grew up pretty damn conservative and I gotta tell you, I don't think this is because he's conservative. I think he's a jerk.

Not sure if this will apply to you at all or not, but part of disengaging from my conservative family involved learning more about codependency. I discovered that I had spent my whole life trying to make sure that others around me were happy at the expense of my own mental health and well-being. I really recommend Codependent No More by Melody Beattie to learn more about this. It was literally a life-changing book for me, and it might help you build some coping skills to deal with your dad.

It's great that you're already thinking about it! Don't beat yourself up - it's really, really hard to do internal/shadow work, and this is a learning experience that will help direct you towards the you that'll know you are enough and don't need to buy anyone gifts or be overly available for them to be interested, because you'll know your company is its own gift. If anything on codependence resonates with you, I highly recommend "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie.

You are doing the right thing.

"You cannot set yourself on fire to keep another person warm."

...and...

"Put on your own oxygen mask first before helping those next to you."

The hardest fucking thing in the world is letting other people experience their own choices when we've been in a position of protection, guidance, responsibility, or love for them.

It's hard even when the choices they're making are mostly good ones. It's fucking brutal when they're by all appearances trying to destroy themselves. It's maddening. It's crazy making. There is no more helpless and rage-inducing and depressive feeling.

I'm so sorry. I understand analagously by similar relationships in my life, although not exactly of course. Only you know exactly what you're going through.

For what it's worth, something that helped me was studying and learning about codependence. The codependence of watching a person who was addicted to abusive relationships, and my codependent traits in feeling the pain, guilt, and anger of wanting to help them and being unable to.

Melody Beattie wrote the classic book on it, but there are a lot of others.

Head down to the library or get happy on Amazon and start doing some reading. Therapy also helps. Disentangling ourselves from family of origin issues with love, responsibility, and grace is a lifelong process. I wish you all the best. You're already part way there by doing the right thing with your sister, even though it feels so bad.

Do you feel conflicted emotions -- loving him and resenting him at the same time, for example? Feeling hopeless, then hopeful from one moment to the next? Blaming him, but then blaming yourself?

I've experienced these back-and-forth whiplash emotions, but what's worse is the overall feeling of being trapped, like "This is my life now."

I hope you'll attend Al-Anon meetings virtually or face-to-face. Lots of healthy support in this community, because we aren't about bashing our Q (our alcoholic "qualifier"), but we're all about learning how to be self-sufficient and to care for ourselves because our Q can't care for us in a healthy manner.

It helped me to read, Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie. Highly recommended!

My thoughts are with you, please take care of yourself.

Agreed! I also highly recommend Codependent No More!

> 0) Develop Your Mindset.

This is what I came here to say. There's a book called 'Mindset' and the tldr; is that there's the Fixed mindset, and the Growth mindset, and which one you are will determine so much of the kind of life you'll lead.

One comment about the pain you feel: you get to the point where the pain of changing is greater than the pain of staying the same, that's when real progress occurs.

I do have a book to recommend that had a strong influence on me during my college years, and I still think about it decades later. It is called The Road Less Traveled (Amazon) and here's a brief summary from /r/Decidingtobebetter.

As you can't afford to fix your truck, PM me your snail-mail address and I buy you a copy myself (serious, from a random internet stranger).

All the best.

>Addiction has absolutely nothing to do with you, me or anyone. It’s all within themselves. There’s no schedule or time clock that you can enforce. And if you try, trust me... it backfires because we have zero control over someone else’s life. Breaking addiction takes a lot more than love, new routines or willpower.

So true! We can't control, change, or cure someone's addiction. We can only take care of ourselves and make healthy choices -- usually that means distancing ourselves from the alcoholic, even if you can only emotionally detach because it's impossible to physically leave because of economic concerns. Detaching doesn't mean you stop loving him; it just means you stop doing his worrying for him and start focusing on your own emotional health.

I suggest that you check out Al-Anon meetings and get a sponsor. You'll learn so much about addiction! You'll get your personal power back and you'll never regret it. On the other hand, continuing to stay with him and trying to orchestrate his recovery will rob you of your self-esteem and mental health, because only he has the power to change himself. Being his care-taker and worrying about his condition more than he does puts you in the unhealthy role of being codependent. (Read Co-Dependent No More by Melodie Beattie -- it opened my eyes to what I was ignoring about myself).

I have a book I'd like you to read. It's called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It was suggested to me by my ex's therapist, when I joined him in a therapy session and ended up sobbing. It helped me see things from a different perspective and gave me strength I didn't know I had. The book drastically improved my life and it only took a few days to read. Here it is on Amazon. I was skeptical at first because:

1) I had never read a self-help book before and had honestly zero faith that it would help anything.

and,

2) The cover of the book made me defensive because it says something about controlling others.

But, read it. It all makes sense once you get into it, and I really think your situation will hugely improve if you do.

Here it is on Overdrive, you can see if it is available at your local library or even in e-book form.

Read "Co-Dependent no more"by Melody Beattie while you look for a therapist. I suggest being nice to yourself. Sign up for a yoga class or a gym membership, go to the nail salon, visit your local library. Do the things you didn't have time to do before when you were wasting it all running around trying to prop up your sig other. Enjoy your alone time by getting to know you.

Doing these things really helped me. I have learned that I like me. In fact, it's really working out. I think I'm the one I've been looking for.

It would be highly topical though!

The experiences documented in The Spirit Molecule involve aliens a lot of the time

https://www.amazon.co.uk/DMT-Molecule-Revolutionary-Near-Death-Experiences/dp/0892819278

One of my favorites on this subject. Gods of Eden, by Bramley. He has researched the subject extremely well.

If you read it, be prepared to have a paradigm shift after you're done.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0380718073/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glc_fabc_H7HK6F3JBJQF6WKGMY1J

Only oblique references to reincarnation were left in the New Testament (such as the question about the man born blind, in which the questioner seems to assume the man could have done something in a past life that would warrant that type of punishment, though it's not directly stated).

Some people believe that all direct references were expunged by the early church fathers (who, you must remember, were also political leaders - no separation of church and state back then) because they felt that if a person believed that the current lifetime was just one of many, then they would not be as afraid of any punishments that church or king might mete out. And later on it was at odds with the church's take on hell (which doesn't hold up once you realize that three completely different words in the original languages were all translated "hell" in English, one of them being the place that all dead go to (probably the place we rest between lives) and another being the eternal place of confinement and torture that was reserved for the devil and the fallen angels, but not humans. And in case you were wondering, the third was a actual garbage dump in Jerusalem where fires were always burning to consume the trash, sort of like the municipal dumps we used to have in the 1950's and before, and maybe still have in some very rural areas and in third world countries).

I would suggest if you are not terribly uncomfortable with the thought that extraterrestrials may have influenced our history, see if your local library or your favorite bookseller has a copy of "The Gods of Eden" by William Bramley (Amazon link). I think you would find it a very interesting read, even if you don't completely buy into the author's hypothesis, and it might offer answers to some of your questions.

I got Mine off Amazon. They are the Tarot unknown deck.

https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Tarot-Guidebook-Official-Keepsake/dp/0062466593/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=the+wild+unknown&qid=1553887595&s=gateway&sr=8-1

Check out erowid.org, or the psychedelics explorers guide. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1594774021/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_BNSNKZR0GPWMEEH5HF7G

Set and setting are very important. You get out of it what you put into it. For me, it is a very spiritual/psychological experience.

Learn to meditate. Being able to accept what comes and remain calm and centered is valuable.

Set some ground rules for yourself before you start. Turn off your phone, lock the doors, eliminate other distractions. Get a few playlists together that offer some different vibes so you can roll with where it goes. I usually have a nature/Zen meditation list, a psychedelic list (shpongle, desert dwellers), classical .

Have some paper, pens or colors to write down your thoughts, and get creative with.

My advice? Dont worry about oculus. Like someone else said, its pretty sobering/not that cool. The amazing things will be in your head.

Trust the drug. Be open. Let go.

DM me if you want to discuss more.

Read Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh. Changed my life with my family. In literally weeks. You may not get personally angry, but you can learn to not view it as impacting you.

I'm still working on it, but I'm much better than I used to be. When I find myself getting anxious or falling into unhealthy thought patterns about my friends, I try to keep myself as grounded in reality as possible. I do this by reminding myself, as many times as I need to, that I am feeling anxious and that the thoughts I am having are coming from a place of fear. Fear of abandonment, mostly. When I am able to identify why I'm feeling anxious, and separate that from the person I'm texting with, that helps me stay calm.

Another thing that helps me is to remind myself of this person's past behavior - so in the instance of my friend, she is a slow texter but she always gets back to me, even if it takes a while. When I start feeling those anxiety thoughts creeping into my head, I remind myself that my friend is reliable, she is a safe person, and she has a right to exist without checking her phone every 5 minutes.

Lastly, educating myself on codependent behaviors and the root cause of them has been the biggest help for me overall. Just being more aware of my behaviors and my emotions, instead of just acting out all of the time like I did before, has made me feel more in control of myself and has helped me feel more comfortable in my relationships with other people. And being honest with myself about why I feel the way I do - why I fear abandonment, or disapproval, or feel the need to be a people pleaser - has allowed me to work on my core issues, which in turn has helped reduce my codependent behaviors. I read Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and had an amazing EUREKA! moment when I recognized myself in nearly every word she wrote https://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025

If I may recommend a helpful book to identify our own codependency issues, read “Codependent No More” by Melodie Beattie. Tremendously eye-opening and empowering!

>Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

Also, OP, if you sense that this is part of a long-term problem with feeling unable to stop yourself "helping" people (especially when those people reject your help and you find yourself resentful over it), please also look into Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie.

Oh man, I just lurked on her IG this week and she has a post somewhere in there with her and a ton of "educational" books she was raving about, one of which was called Gods of Eden. I read a wiki review of it and it's like the crAAAAAAziest conspiracy theories. Aliens, medicine, religion, everything. Here's her post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CBQZ2bWpC8V/?igshid=kltn4ndgswku And here's the book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0380718073/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_YW-uFb3B2K249

ENJOY.

I have not read the Tibetan or Egyptian books of the Dead.

But I will recommend Rick Strassman's "DMT: The Spirit Molecule". It's more scientific than spiritual but has a good bit of both.

https://www.amazon.com/DMT-Molecule-Revolutionary-Near-Death-Experiences/dp/0892819278

I've also often seen recommended in this sub "Alien Information Theory: Psychedelic Drug Technologies and the Cosmic Game" by Andrew R Gallimore, which i've been meaning to check out myself.

https://www.amazon.com/Alien-Information-Theory-Psychedelic-Technologies/dp/1527234762

I added Botany of Desire to my reading list, thanks! Also, I feel like I'm the only person in the world who didn't like "How to Change Your Mind." It was way too much psychedelic history and personal anecdotes vs. how to actually change your mind. The Psychedelic Explorer's Guide is the true must-read book IMO.

its called wild unknown tarot, you can get it on amazon for $25. i know its also in some book stores, but those are all closed rn lol

> My only thought is that even if I do seek help for myself, I still come home to a struggling husband. His sadness is mine, his struggles are mine.

I hear you... and I want to tell you, with kindness, that it doesn't have to be that way. If you are interested in self-help books, I'd like to pass along a recommendation from my therapist, it's called Codependent No More. Don't let the part about "controlling others" throw you off, it's really about caring for yourself the way you deserve to be cared for and not letting other people's problems consume you.

I hear the fear, and your fear is valid. And I agree that your husband is too caught up in himself... so maybe it's an excellent time to work on yourself.

My apologies if I came off as an ass, whiskey tends to corrode my filters. You were right about the heat part, I just thought I would give my two cents about the pH. This is the first time my studies have actually been relevant to a reddit discussion so I couldn't resist. I'm glad people find hot springs as interesting as I do!! I wish I could have gotten into the discussion when the post was first starting but oh well. Before each field expedition, we're required to read the first chapter of "Death in Yellowstone" which details that story about the dude and his dog. Its crazy how fast you can die in YNP, bears, bison, hot springs, tourists in 60 foot long RVs, its just plain absurd.