The best Personal Time Management books: Reddit reviews

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

So this is, uh, a completely separate topic from the whole teenager situation. I'm content just reading everyone else's discussion about it and not contributing to it.

But I found out about a month ago that I have ADHD, so I've naturally been researching everything to do with it. I found this book, and it's a little bit blowing my mind how much harder I've been making getting my place under control. Reading that and then looking at CC'S insta... Imagine how pretty the Tableaux could look if she followed the rule of "inventory must be less than storage"

Very much agree. This kid isn’t “FuckingStupid,” she has some form of ADHD.

Honestly, even if the parent/child choose not to go the medication route (a good choice), it’s so helpful to have the diagnosis to get rid of the guilt and shame. Just knowing that “focusing” is going to be a primary challenge, even though most people can do it without trying, is a huge help. Having the freedom to accept that the “easy stuff” isn’t going to be easy is life changing in a good way.

I would not have wanted to be medicated, but if someone had taught me in middle school how to use something like Getting Things Done, I think it would have been a huge help to me in College and my early professional years. I do OK now, but I wish I’d spent my teens developing reasonable planning habits, none of that “put the date the huge project is due into your planner on that date!” bullshit that helps nobody.

Second big change: make sure the physical environment is geared toward an ADHDer. This book is a fucking godsend: https://www.amazon.com/Organizing-Solutions-People-Revised-Updated/dp/1592335128. Seriously, it is just the best. Rule number one: ease of stowage trumps ease of retrieval. Bear that one thing in mind when organizing and planning physical spaces, and 70% of the frustrations of day-to-day life with ADHD just go away.

I think the next change, to the “ADHD” diagnosis will be to add the slash into the acronym (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder for AD/HD) because hyperactivity is not always present. The next change will be getting rid of that last D, because it’s not a disorder so much as a difference that those who have it need to take into account.

I’m honestly not sure if we aren’t in our own way more suited to life in Consumer Culture and Attention Economy land. At least we feel the pain and anxiety right away rather than “powering through it” and bottling it up.

I don’t really love advertising for certain things, but this has really helped me out with juggling life: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-Free-Productivity/dp/0143126563

Basically, get it all out of your head and into some thing better at keeping information. Software, planner, calendar. I am building a house, have a stressful software engineer job, have 4 kids under 7, and a wife with medical problems. I still fail a lot...but now not as often!

One that is very popular is Solving the Procrastination Puzzle

I bought it a year or two ago, and true to my habits I haven't gotten around to reading it yet.

I've been journaling now a couple of months, and it's done wonders for my productivity and peace of mind - I'm not dropping things anymore - or at least far, far fewer than I did before. My latest experiment (I love that you can experiment and tweak Bujo to your heart's content!!) is planning my days. Prior to this experiment, I'd work around my scheduled commitments, and skim my journal for open tasks whenever I had free time. Now, I'm planning my day first think in the morning - over coffee - when my mind is at its most focused. My wife had been encouraging me to try this for a while - but I'd always dismissed it as too inflexible, and unable to cope with higher priority interruptions. Then I ran across Cal Newport's (the Deep Work guy) blog post on this, and it explained things in a way that made sense to me and addressed my concerns about inflexibility. This stuff works!

​

My key:

• A little filled triangle in the up-left are meetings, where the meeting is is in the top right.
• An unfilled triangle in the same space (none in this pic) is an appointment (dentist, etc.)
• A stripey bar on the left is a block to do open tasks from my journal.
• C is commute, W is walk
• lunch is obvious
• Z is a nap (cancer + some of my meds are a little fatiguing, so mini-breaks are good)

I just read a perfect book on this topic called Deep Work. It really changed my habits and made me focus more on my job. I now try to close email/slack and just not look at it for 2 hours at a time when I want to get work done and it has done wonders.

Medication is the most effective tool for treating ADHD, for sure, but it's not the only thing you can do. Make sure you eat and drink enough through the day and get plenty of sleep. Figure out what coping mechanisms and lifestyle interventions work for you. Russell Barkley has written books full of evidence-based tools you can use: Taking Charge of ADHD (for parents) and Taking Charge of Adult ADHD (for adults with ADHD). You might find both of them useful. Organizing Solutions for People With ADHD might also be helpful.

While it’s ADHD specific, the tips can apply generally to everyone as well: Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD. It’s about organizing your physical space, time and task management, and more.

The stress is because you're trying to go over all of the things that you need to do next week. By writing them down your brain will no longer worry about it.

I build a task list, then when I feel like I'm starting to stress out I just go through and review it, adjust as needed and the stress is gone.

This is a method I picked up after reading "Getting Things Done"

This book "DeepWork" was a great book for me to read/listen to in 2020. https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Work-Focused-Success-Distracted/dp/1455586692

There are basically a billion book / internet article / discussions about this issue in relationships. This is one of the most recent ones that presents a possible strategy, of course it assumes that both parties are willing to cooperate

Fair Play https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07NTX84PY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_9JHK0YGJWV15283C94FF

I will say that it sounds like you're talking about two different issues... One is the burden of being the Household CEO, The other is the the actual execution of the tasks. Messing up the cooking with just 3 tries (it can be improved!)! is ok but the household CEO thing is a different issue.

I do agree that no matter how this all plays out, it's going to be Worth it to your household to hire a once-weekly professional cleaner. BTW, In addition to the entire internet being available to teach someone about household chores and cooking, if your H a written book about how to maintain household chores and cleanliness, there's "home comforts" and "Martha Stewart's Homekeeping Handbook:" both of which are very gendered but do contain instructions about how to do stuff like sorting laundry and how full to make the washing machine.

Here is a product called Fair Play that basically lays out how to organize tasks for you with cue cards and pictures.
fair play kit links to Amazon Canada

I actually just heard from an author who wrote a book about this, Fair Play.

I dig that you're partners are all so willing to help. Agreed that it's been socialized into us as girls as it's OUR JOB - on top of everything else.

I don't do well in clutter because it overwhelms me so I honestly throw away as much as I can possibly get away with and embrace minimalism. The less stuff you have the less there is to clean. Having fewer clothes forces you to do laundry more, for example, but have 15 pairs of pants makes it pretty easy to ignore laundry. I found this book to be amazingly helpful. https://www.amazon.com/dp/1592335128/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabc_iHaTFbDW68WRC

I just read a newspaper article talking about this book, and how it can help you balance housework and domestic duties within families. Its not only a book I think there are "playing cards" with it as well to facilitate the conversation. Perhaps it will be useful..

​

https://www.amazon.com/Fair-Play-Game-Changing-Solution-When-ebook/dp/B07NTX84PY

In adition to the podcast idea there is a book by Susan Pinsky called Organizing solutions for ADHD, its pretty good

organizing with adhd

I highly suggest this book for the organization side. It works through specific rooms and common problems in an easily digestible way. It also espouses the "do what works for you, not what you think should work for you but doesn't" point of view which is SO valuable for us.

I’m not sure if this is directly relative to your question, but I found myself in a similar situation. I was chasing building a specific type of lifestyle in an industry. However, it took me some time to admit to myself that I wasn’t putting in the work, nor willing to do the work. I debated quitting for awhile.

Then, I read a book called The Dip by Seth Godin

It helped me put into perspective what was working, and helped me realize it’s okay to walk away and choose something else. It gave me clarity on making a decision.

Good luck on finding clarity.

If broscience tips don't tend to work for you, check out Kelly McGonigal, PHD. This lady's job is researching willpower, she teaches a class about willpower at Stanford and is incredibly knowledgeable.

Her TedTalk Link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_fQvcBCNbA

I am currently reading her book The Willpower Instinct. Only halfway through and it has made me stick to positive behaviors and avoid negative ones better than I could have imagined. Check it out on amazon http://www.amazon.com/The-Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Matters/dp/1583335080 I've read other books about forming habits and using carrots and sticks and for me this has been 10X more effective.

> then why do I still keep choosing to waste hours on Reddit when I know I should do my work?

Isn't that procrastination, as opposed to ADHD? This is a book which I found helpful.

I'd recommend listening to this talk by the author, which was made for students at his university. It's super helpful.

>I’m just so sick of feeling dependent on this drug which causes nightmarish side effects for me :/

Definitely talk to someone about changing or stopping meds. If the side effects are bad enough it's not worth it.

Willpower is the first & foremost thing you need to succeed. Read: www.amazon.com/The-Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Matters/dp/1583335080

Also try performing these exercises when you feel the urge. They may help you concentrate on the present moment and avoid binging.

The only way to block it is with your mind.

Here are some ways to improve your willpower

>1. Anticipate and plan for your times of low self-control.

>2. Exercise your willpower muscle to get more of it.

>3. Drink some orange juice.

http://zenhabits.net/three-effective-ways-to-enhance-your-willpower/

There's a book I recommend on this topic, <em>The Willpower Instinct: How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It</em>.

Hey. I read your response that couples therapy is expensive. Have you checked out The Fair Play Deck by Eve Rodsky

Also, check out this Instagram account. It validated a lot of what you desire in a partnership. Ignore the idiots telling you not to expect your partner to do more and that you wanted to stay at home and so should do ALL the work (??!!). That Darn Chat

The Dip by Seth Godwin might be a good read for you. It’s about knowing when to quit.

This is so close to what my wife and I went through that I’m wondering if we have the same wife.

Did you guys ever try ‘fair play’? It’s a deck of cards you guys go through and discuss each task and who will be responsible for it. We used them with a counselor and I think it was great for both of us to see how the tasks are distributed.

https://www.amazon.com/Fair-Play-Deck-Conversation-Prioritizing/dp/059323166X/ref=asc_df_059323166X/?tag=hyprod-20&amp;linkCode=df0&amp;hvadid=507647823780&amp;hvpos=&amp;hvnetw=g&amp;hvrand=11502034353750700466&amp;hvpone=&amp;hvptwo=&amp;hvqmt=&...

Check out the book “Fair Play” by Eve Rodsky. It’s a guide to how to divide up chores without having to constantly issue reminders. It has excellent reviews!

https://www.amazon.com/Fair-Play-Game-Changing-Solution-When-ebook/dp/B07NTX84PY

Yeah I think it can be easy to overlook things that you’re leaving to someone else to manage.

As for the cards, here’s a link to them ;) https://www.amazon.com/Fair-Play-Deck-Conversation-Prioritizing/dp/059323166X

They're based on a book about women are seen as the managers, but in a job, managers manage, and others work. But at home, we're expected to manage AND work and it's overwhelming. Super good read

Here's the game

Is a link ok? The people who made it do a much better job of explaining the concept and the process than I ever could lol.

There’s also a book you can get separately. We only got the cards, but now that I’m looking at it again I may download the audiobook too!

https://www.amazon.com/Fair-Play-Deck-Conversation-Prioritizing/dp/059323166X/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?crid=3QT58FSJUA1QE&amp;keywords=fairplay+cards&amp;qid=1669745502&amp;sprefix=fairpla%2Caps%2C145&amp;sr=8-2

ALL relationships are transactional. This is going to get me downvoted bc it sounds uglier than it is, but it's true. In relationships we do things to make each other feel good which prompts us to continue to do things. If you're with a partner who you don't feel like is giving as much as you're giving (and it changes, you can't give 100% all of the time and your partner picks up slack when you need them to and vice versa) you're not going to want to be with them. A relationship is a partnership meaning you need to give and take equally, which makes it transactional by default.

I'm assuming you're a man bc of this comment, and likely haven't been the one to carry all of the mental labor for a household, or do the majority of the housework while your partner thinks they are helping out equally but they're just unaware of just how much you do.

There's a game called fair play that lists out all of the mental, emotional, physical jobs in a household. This game was created because women tend to take on all of the mental and emotional work and half of the physical work while men typically are left with only half of the physical work. If you feel like you're doing your part but your gf seems stressed and upset, try it out, and learn how much she is really doing.