The Gift of Therapy, by Irvin Yalom was assigned reading in my graduate (MSW) program. Compared to his 800+ book on group-work, this one is an easy read and essential, I believe, for people starting off in the field with a desire to do therapy.
First, I am so sorry for what you have experienced. I'm a therapist, and while EMDR can be very helpful for some, no therapeutic modalities or inventions are "one size fits all."
At our agency, in addition to EMDR we find that Somatic Experiencing is extremely helpful for many clients with complex trauma. I'm not sure where you live or if there are any somatic therapists in your area, but it might be worth looking into. There's a great book called The Body Keeps the Score which explains a lot of the concepts behind it--all of Peter Levine's books are useful too.
We don't typically use DBT with clients suffering from PTSD--I've found it can work well for certain personality disorders. I do use ACT with clients (typically paired with somatic interventions) and it can be very helpful for some. This is a great ACT workbook but ideally you would work on it with a therapist and not alone.
I am very sorry that you were treated like this. This must feel so horrible.
>All in all it's lead me to believe that therapists in general just don't understand suicide and aren't properly trained to engage with suicidal patients. I'm very sorry that you were a casualty of this messed up system.
I would say too many therapists are poorly trained to work with suicidality and fail to understand how they might help. However, I think you do both therapists and clients in need of treatment a disservice by generalizing to say "all therapists just don't understand".
There are people who were trained to help with suicidality and who do target the suffering at the root of it. (If you want to read how they approach this, look no further than the subreddits for therapists and see.) The book usually recommended is https://www.amazon.com/Suicide-Psychache-Clinical-Approach-Self-Destructive/dp/0876681518 .
Unfortunately, I do not know how to find the therapists who disproof your generalization. You might want to filter out people who use very directive modalities only, but beyond that, I think you need some luck.
> I've known people personally in my life who have talked about, attempted and even committed suicide, but have very little understanding on how somebody comes to end their life.
Could I give you a book recommendation? Edwin Shneidman pretty much founded the field of suicidology, and his book Suicide as Psychache: A Clinical Approach to Self-Destructive Behavior may be exactly the discussion you're looking for.
Oh, perfect sense. Have you ever done any IFS? Like this PDF or this book?
Some parts of you, and I would guess they are the inner-children type parts, are good with continuing to hide, because it works.
Some parts of you, and I would guess this is your higher self type parts, know that you are ready to heal and are pushing hard for that. This part(s) also know what they want you to do, although communicating that to us is difficult at first.
I spent years in this kind of war with myself. And whichever part of me had the helm, had its say. It was chaotic, to say the least. IFS helped me to tune into my highest self and manage all the rest of the parts of my psyche using good people skills. Our shared dream, as set by the self, is inner-peace. My rule is that every part has to treat each other part of me at least as well as I would treat a co-worker.
I can only guess based on my journey, but I think this is a huge sign of growth. Thinking back, I'm not sure a huge uptick in fear isn't just normal before we take a huge healing step. It seems like being afraid just before leaping into a new unknown way of living is a pretty good idea. The whole world will be brand new by the time we finish our journey. Life is broken down into times when we need to rest and times when we need to travel. You just got in some good rest, seems like being a little daunted at the next phase of traveling is reasonable.
i rented it through Amazon/Kindle a few years back but you'll have to pay a little bit: https://www.amazon.com/Trapped-Mens-Bodies-Autogynephilic-Transsexualism-ebook-dp-B00APXDL9E/dp/B00APXDL9E/ref=mt_other?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=
would nice if someone has a free copy though
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz
Internal Family Systems (IFS) has really helped me with healing my CPTSD. YMMV, but worth a look.
someone recommended this book to me but i haven’t ordered it yet: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572244976/ref=cm_sw_r_fa_api_glt_fabc_CVHJ83A30H6ANAK7MJ5V?fbclid=IwAR1lWmWq2bjTbeRL9Ca0fdXQdI9IjLsLMt2PAm142eSoyFmWkeO_l3XEcyE
Two resources that have helped me with these kinds of decisions:
“The Upside of Quitting” episode of the Freakonomics podcast. https://freakonomics.com/podcast/the-upside-of-quitting/
“What To Do When Its Your Turn (And Its Always Your Turn)” by Seth Godin. What to Do When it's Your Turn: (And it's Always Your Turn) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1936719312/
Do you think that because we left religion, now we are searching for a new one? A secular one?
https://www.amazon.com/Psychotherapy-As-Religion-Divine-America/dp/0874176786
I found this book that i haven't read yet, but it talks about that topic.
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>I think people are mainly paying for a substitute parent/caregiver/friend and the permission to speak about typically "taboo" or "deep" subjects that are otherwise considered socially unacceptable to talk about with others. Or for someone to validate their belief that there is something wrong with them, or the opposite, that they are doing the right thing in various life situations.
Yes you are right about this.