The best Popular Psychology Reference books: Reddit reviews

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And here's my obligatory plug for the book that's saving my life and getting me out of the FOG,

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B60DRKI/

Cause previously I would have felt like it was my fault I couldn't get over the abusive behavior he still refuses to take responsibility or accountability for. Peace out, STBX wBPD. ✌️

It's like bait so you'll say, "no no you're not really abusing me, I didn't mean it like that, just forget I said anything" etc.

Ugh.

Obligatory plug for the book that saved my life: Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B60DRKI/

I'm right there with you. I'm heartbroken and sad and feel like I've failed. I feel like I'm abandoning someone who can't take care of himself, like I'm leaving him to die.

But that's my disorder. Of course, he's an adult and was taking care of himself (somewhat anyway) before I met him. I gave up my life to try to show him a normal one, full of kindness. But he's still sad. I can't fix it him.

This book is currently saving my life, maybe it can help you too:

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B60DRKI/

There are two different things you might mean by this.

(1) You want to prove that being homosexual is/is not currently considered to be a mental disorder by psychiatrists.

The current definitive reference is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th edition ("DSM-V"), published by the American Psychiatric Association. Homosexuality is not listed as a mental disorder in it. It has not been listed as a disorder since edition 3-R, published in 1987. To prove this, you could get a copy and look through it - warning: it's long and dry - and demonstrate that homosexuality is not there.

Or you could simply ask a psychiatrist. If you don't know one, then you can post a question on /r/AskPsychiatry.

(2) You want to prove that being homosexual is/is not an unhealthy thing.

This is somewhere between tough and impossible. It's an opinion, so it isn't something you can prove either way. It still might be worthwhile to ask a professional. Again, see /r/AskPsychiatry.

I'd go ahead and start with this one, or else buy it now because you'll eventually need it:

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B60DRKI/

>I really don't know what I am doing wrong. She makes me out to be a sex-crazed monster when all I want is to have an intimate moment with my partner.

You probably arent doing anything "wrong". Abusers know what you want and withhold that from you to gain a position of power and control over you. To make you change and behave how they want you to behave in order to get to the goal post, then they move the posts. Its part of how the cycle of abuse works. And why its more like brainwashing and conditioning.

You cant change her. You cant make her trauma better. The only person that can do that is her. She has to take responsibility and accountability for her actions. I would recommend that you read Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist. It can help you to understand the way she is treating you is because of her not because of your actions or choices. That you are being used as a punching bag for how she feels. And you cant make that stop. You cant control that. You cant fix her. Love does not fix people. They have to take responsibility for themselves. Its the only way that works. And it takes time. I know thats now what we want. And its not fair, really, that a victim has to go through this part too, but trauma has to be treated like any other condition.

Buy this and read it https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

Arguing with a bpd doesn't lead anywhere. There is no reason for you to fight for a full week. Seriously, read the book. Then decide what you want to do. You deserve better.

Read this if you haven't, it will help a little bit: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

It's quite sad for them. There's no denying that. They never asked to have that disorder.

I would skip all of them and get

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B60DRKI/

It saved my life, and I've been recommending it as much as I can here. Several others have agreed it has been helpful.

A "successful relationship" with a pwBPD means a calm one, extraordinarily rarely does it mean a supportive romantic partnership. Is that what you're wanting for the rest of your life, to take care of someone who is ill while never having your needs met? Whether you would say yes or no, I'd highly recommend reading this book, which will help you set the necessary boundaries to have a baseline relationship:

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/1442238321/

The more important the thing you're doing, the worse he'll act out. You're not allowed to let anything seem more important than him. You'd have been better off not telling him you had anything going on.

This book saved my life. Maybe it can help you. Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B60DRKI/

Honey, go get you a copy of

Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B60DRKI/

and start rebuilding yourself.

Sending you love. ❤️

You gray rock... And you talk to a lawyer instead of a therapist. I also highly recommend (really highly) the book "stop caretaking the borderline..." https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

It will allow you to understand the dynamics.

First of all: cover your ass. Record and document. If she is abusive now, it will be way worse once she knows you are really going through with the divorce so get ready for her to dysregulate (ie: go crazy)

Second: if you think that "oh she is a good mom" and "she isn't always that bad", once you divorce and for months after, your brain will seem to rewire itself and the past won't be as rosy.. you were basically living in fog (fear, obligation, guilt)

Give this book a read, it will confirm what you intend to do: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

The book "splitting" by Bill eddy is also worth it

DO NOT fall in her trap where she tries to be nice and all at first, she is likely trying to screw you over. She likely has a bit of NPD as well, this covers it https://youtu.be/7vxSxa967BA

If she ever hits you (or harasses you, death threats, ..), try to have evidence and definitely file a police report. You'll hopefully get a restraining order which will help you keep your sanity.

She would not hesitate to throw you under the bus. Cover your ass and do what you need to do.

Be there for the kids. They'll also realise how toxic the household was but it may take them a few months. The mom won't help because she will paint you black but eventually it will work out and they will finally have some stability in their lives.

That shows how it was purely manipulation.

I say cover your ass: record and document. She will only escalate once she realises that you are really done. Mine ended up assaulting me at my workplace... same age as yours. Pretty messed up. She was not violent before. I say read the book "Splitting" by bill eddy and this one https://www.amazon.ca/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

I noticed that every time I was away from the house for >24 hrs I was happier. I then realized that I dreaded coming home and whatnot and things fell in place in my mind. Got fed up and said I want a divorce.. shit hit the fan. Suicide threats, cops at my house a bunch of times, children's aid society involvement, hospitalization in the psych ward, she assaulted me at my workplace and ended up with a no contact order but she breached her conditions, ..

Then it clicked over time. All the little episodes that had happened in the previous 19 years. Tantrums here and there. I read that book and it opened my eyes even more: https://www.amazon.ca/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321 I was just a caretaker and was being abused by someone with BPD/NPD. I should have clued in when she told me "Watch out if you ever leave me, it will be like a tornado".

There's a really good book for people like us called Stop Caretaking the Narcissist or Borderline

Also check out the Narcissistic Abuse sub

The question is why continue asserting boundaries with people who don't respect them?

This book may be helpful. Don't be put off by the title (all due respect to anyone diagnosed with BPD/NPD). Full disclosure, I have BPD, NPD traits, and found this book excellent.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama-ebook/dp/B00B60DRKI

She may have Borderline Personality Disorder. One of the symptoms is memory loss. She's still morally culpable for her actions.

I recommend reading the first chapter of this book: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

I will recommend this book:. https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

What you are experiencing is: you are still living in the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt). This is something that will come and go and dissipate over time.

I would be willing to bet that nothing changed in the last 6 months with her: something changed with you. You began opening your eyes. Your family was likely aware of how shitty of a person she was but you were not ready to see that.

Welcome to the club.

Would your bother read this? https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

It would help him deal with the situation. Note that the book doesn't say to leave. The author tells you how to handle things, and tells you that it's up to you if you stay or go but no matter what, you need to have boundaries othe wise you will lose your mind.

Definitely read: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321 (found it much better than therapy, and that book was a lifesaver for many of us)

and https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=splitting+bill+eddy&qid=1622909740&s=books&sr=1-1 (ie: cover your ass)

Good luck, and you may want to look at the r/narcabuseanddivorce

What I mean is that in reality the steps are simple: You need to leave and go no contact. But that doesn't work if you think that "oh there is hope, I will save her". There are many posts like that in the forum, sometimes people simply seek validation (oh she is bpd, I will read a book and save her)

I recommend this book if you haven't read it: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

For me, I found it much better than therapy because it allowed me to understand how the relation worked.

This could have been a movie based on my life:. https://youtu.be/dA8n5O_-dfk

Read this book, you'll understand the game: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

>Being told I am a cold brick. Being told I am incapable of love. Being told I will never find someone better than her.

Lol. Ahh the memories. Give this book a read, it will help:. https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

Hint: if she is truly BPD, it wasn't you. And you likely did not notice most of the abusive behavior in your couple.

> In my experience, there is absolutely zero logical reason for me to remain married to my wife.

What holds you back is the fog... Fear, obligation and guilt. It takes a while to get out of it. I recommend this book https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Caretaking-Borderline-Narcissist-Drama/dp/1442238321

Please just be kind to the baby, always. My mother was in your situation, she pulled through well but harmed me when I was very little. I know she would take all the harmful things back if she could, she loves me very much, but the wounds stay for life.

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Cain-Protecting-Emotional-Life/dp/0345434854/ref=nodl_?dplnkId=ab0f0d09-b55c-493d-aa81-221d6aee1540

You absolutely want to avoid the "bad kid" self-fulfilling prophecy. It is a horrible loop that our education system tends to worsen.

My son openly wept when he received a complement from his teacher a few years ago. Kept asking over and over "so I'm not the bad kid?" Broke my heart into pieces.

Don't let him internalize actions by saying "he was bad" to do that... rather, the "action was bad" Give the kid a good name and he will live up to it.

Definitely recommend reading up on this book - one of the best books I've read on raising boys

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Cain-Protecting-Emotional-Life/dp/0345434854

You are in an abusive relationship. It sounds like your wife has a personality disorder or some other serious mental health condition. It's not going to get better unless she commits to therapy, and even then it might not. Some people in this sub will tell you otherwise, but you don't have to put up with this. I would strongly recommend you read this book: Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist. You will probably need to leave her for the sake of you and your children.

This is a really helpful guide to writing academic papers:

https://www.amazon.com/How-Write-Lot-Practical-Productive/dp/1591477433.

Generally speaking, you write your results and methods first. I usually wrote the discussion of the results and then the intro. Finally write the abstract. Use a reference editor like Endnote or Mendeley or Zotero to keep track of your references. You should have general idea of what articles support your research because this formed the basis of your paper, then find articles that support or don't support your findings and other articles that might help explain.