The best Pregnancy & Childbirth books: Reddit reviews

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

Take a breath.

Then sit down and do some research. Knowledge can offset the panic sometimes.

This book When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads 4th Edition: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy has a lot of info and some real-life experiences.

Check out the parents of multiples threads on pregnancy and baby websites. The posters there will usually offer support in a variety of ways.

Don't feel bad about the panic as most people would have a bit of panic crop up when confronted with triplets.

If you have access to Amazon deliveries and DM me your address or create a wishlist with tests on it I'd be happy to buy them for you. If you do happen to fall pregnant and don't want to be, r/abortion has lots of resources for accessing termination in countries where it's illegal. In particular I'd recommend Women on Web which has been getting the pills to people in countries where it's illegal for decades. The benefits of the pill are that it looks identical to a miscarriage.

ALL THAT SAID — it's unlikely she's pregnant based on what you said, especially if you didn't finish and haven't had sex since then. Anovulatory cycles are totally normal, especially if she's not super regular anyway. Is she having any other symptoms? It's possible but rare to get to 7+ weeks without symptoms. Breast swelling and pain, unusual fatigue/exhaustion, and nausea/sensitivity to smells are usually the first symptoms.

When was her last period before June 11? That could make a difference too.

Going forward, since it sounds like contraception, pregnancy tests, and family planning in general are hard to access for you, I strongly recommend you look into the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM) (NOT the same thing as the rhythm method!!!) It's empowering to be able to know what's going on with your cycles and fertility without any other tools. Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler is a great book to start with. If it's financially burdensome for you I'd be happy to Amazon you a copy of that as well.

My guess is The Birth Partner: Birth Partner 5th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Partners, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions https://www.amazon.com/dp/1558329102/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_pEAXDbDNWHMB4

Expecting Better by Emily Oster offers some good perspective on what “they” tell you to avoid vs. real risks to your pregnancy.

Personally, listeria is something I didn’t want to risk. Unlike run-of-the-mill food poisoning, listeria can pose a risk to the fetus. I chose to avoid raw milk products, cold smoked foods, and certain raw fruits and vegetables unless I knew they were washed.

Congratulations on recovery❤️

You are definitely not alone. Bodies are pretty resilient! I began my recovery in the fall of 2016 and the hardest part was the first year. After that my body has healed up better than I could’ve expected. I honestly thought I had broken it forever and carried a lot of guilt and shame. I feel grateful to have my period back and to be ovulating regularly.

I highly recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility! Maybe it’s my ED past but all of the tracking has become somewhat of a calming ritual. I cannot even begin to explain how excited I was the first time my temps confirmed that I ovulated. I hope that it will help you to find some peace and allow you to forgive yourself.

Another vote for Expecting Better, as the author looks at the actual scientific evidence behind most common pregnancy do's and don'ts.

For example, she says there's no problem with sushi / a moderate amount of caffeine.

For the birth process, I found Penny Simkin's The Birth Partner incredibly helpful. During the first year, I also got a lot out of Baby 411.

Taking Charge of your fertility is the holy grail of fertility books. I learned so much about my body it was amazing! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062326031/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fabt1_aW7SFbAGKZ8WX?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

I had fraternal boy/girl twins, they’re 3 now it’s been quite an adventure! I always told people the best thing about having twins was not having to argue with your husband about who’s turn it was to hold the baby because there’s one for each of you, you just periodically switch babies.

My OB had me buy this book, and I found it very informative and helpful.

Read this. There's a lot of misinformation and over-hyped risk for pregnant women. Everything is a risk, but you're more likely to get hit by a car than get listeria, for example, and you're more likely to get listeria from vegetables and fruit than deli meat. Women in Japan still eat sushi when pregnant, and women in Europe still have a glass of wine. You can decide for yourself what kind of risks you want to take. (Personally, I ate a ton of sushi when I was pregnant and gave no fucks.)

I read this one, liked it: https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be by Armin A. Brott, Jennifer Ash

Welcome to the twin mom life!! I literally said “are you fucking kidding me” when the technician said congratulations you’re having twins. And my husband just sat there sweating... he later came home and had to have 2 scotch on the rocks.

I’m delivering them in 2 weeks. Everything has been going well. Best advice i can give you is DRINK A LOT OF WATER (2-3 liters a day).

Get this book: When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads 4th Edition: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062379488/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_UR2fFbXA91PJC It helped me soooo much while pregnant with all the twin questions.

And come join the other twin moms at r/parentsofmultiples

So excited for you!!

Congrats!

First, the best part of not having any babies yet is that you won't know any different. People ask me how I'm able to work and live life with twins and my answer is "I don't know any alternative"

Second, talk to your HR when you feel ready to make the news public, but I've in general found that people/employers are willing to help out a lot for a twin mom. Everyone knows that you're about to do something really hard and they may be willing to help you out with the leave situation even if you don't technically qualify

Third, check /r/parentsofmultiples and look around the internet/facebook to see if you have a local Moms of Multiples chapter. My local group has been so critical, from offering advice to gifting us things. And my local group does a big yard sale twice a year where pregnant moms of multiples get to shop first

Once the dust has settled on the surprising news, pick up this book https://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0062379488 It's very science based and a favorite of perinatologists (side note: you're going to see a perinatologist aka a maternal fetal medicine doc in addition to your OB because a multiple pregnancy is a high risk pregnancy even if nothing else is going on)

Feel free to PM with any other questions that pop up along the way but the main message is congratulations, twins are freaking awesome

I did it with my first, hoping to do it again with my second. Honestly it’s a huge mental game. The birthing class I took mainly emphasized laboring at home as long as possible and to prepare yourself to feel like you’re running up hills and walking them back down over and over again (but way worse). Also Ina May’s book was also super helpful:

https://www.amazon.com/Ina-Mays-Guide-Childbirth-Gaskin/dp/0553381156

I do have to say, it’s awful that your pain management technique is being dictated by price. I wish this was a choice you were making because it is what you wanted, not because you feel financially pressured to :(

Good luck!

My OB said that listeria is just an odds thing and that according to the CDC the same year soft cheeses had a listeria outbreak there was one in ICE CREAM - and you don't hear a single pregnant woman being denied their precious ice cream haha. So basically the moral of the story is that people latch onto some of these more than others for no particular reason. There have also been recent outbreaks in other foods that pregnant women aren't advised to never touch ever again. All of that to say listeria is very serious and we have to be vigilant but it's also important to educate yourself on what should truly be avoided. I recommend the book Expecting Better by Emily Oster who does a great job outlining what you really should or shouldn't do according to science and data - but makes it crazy easy to understand and you'll feel 1000x better and more comfortable navigating the world as a pregnant person after reading it.

Agree! My family had the classic children's book <em>Where Did I Come From?</em> around the house when I was a kid, which I think was good.

But my parents were very late in talking to me about puberty stuff. When I was 12 or 13 in the 1990s, I clearly remember them sheepishly handing me some cringeworthy book with literal 70s teenagers in flares rollerskating on the cover. I already knew so much by then so the book was never opened.

We received The Expectant Father as a gift when we were expecting our first. I’ll be honest, I don’t remember what was in the book, but I do remember the reassuring feeling I had when I read it.

So... it’s probably down the alley of what you’re looking for

Hey! I just wanted to recommend this workbook for anxiety in pregnancy and postpartum. I had a lot of intrusive thoughts in my first pregnancy and my therapist and this workbook really helped me. It’s super common to be anxious during this entire experience!

I've struggled with anxiety, OCD and depression my entire adult life. My first pregnancy I was highly anxious around loss. In addition to therapy I found this book to be extremely helpful. If you're familiar with the clinical realm, this book uses the principles of clinical behavioral therapy (CBT) to help work through feelings of anxiety. This book will serve you if you really read it and engage in the activities/homework it prescribes. I used to bring to therapy and talk about it during sessions.

I have lots of thoughts on this as both a sufferer and a social worker. But basically, I have learned over the years that 1) thoughts are not facts 2) anxious thoughts don't mitigate risk. E.g: obsessing over miscarriage doesn't make it any more or less likely. So if you can just observe the thought without engaging with it, that can help.

Sometimes I literally say to myself "Wow, it sucks that you're so anxious right now. It really feels awful to have these scary thoughts. I'm sorry you feel this way." I know that sounds kind of corny but it cultivates a little self compassion.

It seems like the norm in these subreddits because many of us are actively tracking our cycles while TTC and temping is the only way to confirm ovulation at home. It is another thing to do, but the benefits definitely outweigh the minor inconvenience. It takes just a minute or two in the morning to take your temp and log it into an app. Taking Charge of Your Fertility does a great job introducing people to temping and the myriad of benefits you will experience by getting to know your body and cycles better.

I definitely recommend going off birth control now to give your body a chance to regulate and for you to get to know your cycle. If you are interested in learning how to track your cycle, I recommend reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility .

If your current multivitamin has folate you can finish that bottle before buying a bottle of prenatals.

We are too insanely strict on pregnant women. She's perfectly fine sampling beer in her 3rd trimester. Honestly, she's fine having a whole one every now and then. This author's research claims "Light drinking is fine (up to two glasses of wine a week in the first trimester and up to a glass a day in the second and third trimesters)"

It's a little bit on the pre-pregnancy and baby side, but Taking Charge of Your Fertility was very eye-opening for me! I read it all the way through and literally got up early(ish) on a few Saturdays to read until I got through it. It's all about the amazing things that women's bodies can do regarding fertility and taught me more in the first chapter than all of my school health classes put together.

I think you are probably good with parmesan! Its a hard cheese - usually its more the soft unpasteurized cheeses that could potentially contain listeria that you have to watch out for (ex: queso fresco). The book 'Expecting Better' is really good about breaking down some of these pregnancy 'rules' and giving an explanation on where the statistics come from and what to really be on the look out for. But of course do whatever you are most comfortable with! For any foods you want to avoid, you could always say you are on a diet? Or just don't want to eat that dish tonight.

Okay, other people are saying that you're ovulating. Yes and no. Your body is preparing for ovulation. What your seeing is called cervical mucus and it changes depending on what part of your cycle you're in. The part you're describing is during your fertile window. This mucus is specially designed to help sperm into your body. It's completely normal and is a great sign that you're healthy! I never got much of a lady bits education but I was reccomended this book and it explained SO many things! I highly suggest buying it especially if you plan to have kids one day!

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin. My husband has been reading it as we prepare for labor (at 34 weeks now) and he says it’s wonderful. Not sure if this link works because I’m on mobile but here’s hoping: The Birth Partner

We haven't had the baby yet, but for my spouse reading The Birth Partner made a huge difference in their level of engagement and enthusiasm for birth planning. It's completely gender neutral and reinforces the idea that your support person during labour and delivery (your wife, sounds like!) can have many active tasks, responsibilities and roles to take on at each stage.

I got the okay from my doctor during my first pregnancy. Expecting Better has a good section on it if you’re worried.

I bought my husband the book "the expectant father the ultimate guide for dads-to-be" it is available on Amazon and is really informative. https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1542296764&amp;sr=8-1&amp;pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&amp;keywords=expectant+father+books&amp;dpPl=1&amp;dpID=61Qlu9et-vL&amp;ref=plSrch

It is a little different in that it focuses on how the partner can help and not accidently cause a fight, as well as giving a perspective as to how she is feeling and what is happening with the baby. I got myself the book "day by day pregnancy" it is like a massive text book and let's me have a little to read each day with tips and ideas to make the experience more pleasant.

Good luck, most of all you need to let her know that you are in this together.

I found the book Expecting Better to be very useful when I was deciding what do's and don'ts I would adhere to among the insane amount of contradictory information.

The author explains her methodology well, too, and while I didn't agree w/ all of her conclusions (drinking alcohol every day seems like a stupid thing to do, so even if I was a drinker I'd have opted to ignore her science on that one), the info was overall helpful. Now, my husband is super paranoid and I'm not huge on lunch meat to begin with, so I don't make a habit of ordering cold cuts (or I nuke 'em if that's all there is to eat)...but knowing the science and risks, I would personally be okay with the relatively small risk associated with most lunch meats.

I agreed with her (and a lot of you in this thread) about how women are basically told a bunch of seemingly random shit that they need to do and are not given a good explanation for it--even if we follow up on the doc's orders with "But why?"

Additionally I like the website Evidence Based Birth. I recently read about how eating dates from 36 weeks on can help ripen the cervix. I went to that website and found their article on dates, and while the evidence on that isn't super strong, there was enough for me to decide to purchase a bag of dates. :)