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Check out The Righteous Mind, a great and deep analysis of morality.
One of the takeaways I found fascinating is not that liberals and conservatives align differently on morality -- that's not really a surprise -- but that conservatives overall consider multiple different categories very important (e.g. sanctity, authority), while liberals HEAVILY consider fairness as a category that far outweighs the other moralities.
The short version is, it may feel satisfying to say that "Democrats will be fine with all that shit" and just sweep it under the rug, but I don't think that statement is true. I think the Democratic approach to leadership has plenty of its own flaws, but fairness is not one of them. I think Democrats tend to hold their own to higher expectations of fairness behavior than what we're seeing in the GOP.
(mods, please remove if my source is bad)
I like the book The Righteous Mind and its discussion of morality. One of the points it makes is that being loyal to one's tribe and obeying authority are deeply moral matters for some people - and that those are more important then being nice, or being fair. The President is the head of a group they identify with and thus they are loyal.
I recently read the book "The Righteous Mind" by Jonathan Haidt. He's a social psychologist and tries to answer your question: how can a rational individual vote conservative, when that vote seems to go against one's self-interest? He answers the question by analyzing people's morality systems, and goes on to say that people don't vote based on rationality (active thinking), but based on morality (feelings). The book is very well written and meticulously built up -- I strongly recommend giving it a read! Amazon link here
It takes time to undo the indoctrination of the church which is all focused on dangling the carrot of eternal life but also making sure you stay obedient by never allowing you to feel worthy enough. It's brainwashing, pure & simple.
You might look into Hassan's B.I.T.E. model of cult behavior. It talks all about how certain controlling behaviors and expectations are used to ensure you stay under their control. The church uses so, so many of these in their doctrines and culture.
The book Recovering Agency: Lifting the Veil of Mormon Mind Control by Luna Lindsey Corbden is a great book which talks all about these tactics and how you can start to deconstruct this indoctrination.
You might also want to look into trauma counseling, religious trauma if you can find someone. It really will take some time but it's so worth it. And so are you, friend. We're always here for you.
Some make headlines for obvious reasons but come on, most?
I don't doubt that some homophobes are closeted, but most is an exaggeration.
Read "The Righteous Mind". Our perceptions of right and wrong frequently stem from our upbringing, and they rarely make sense.
I can only suggest you read his book or his research papers at this point because you have the wrong impression about how the research was done and you are rejecting the results because of your assumptions.
https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0015141
I apologize I don't have free links for either.
You might want to read Jonathan Haidt's "The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion".https://www.amazon.com/Righteous-Mind-Divided-Politics-Religion-ebook/dp/B0052FF7YM/
He explains that humans are fundamentally irrational creatures driven by intuition first then look for rationalization second.
People have an intuition about how the world should be. Religious people look for rationalization for that intuition in scripture and their faith tradition.
In conservative christianity, you're not going to convince anyone that being gay is NOT a sin unless and until they're willing to consider the possibility. They have to be willing to listen to the stories LGBTQ+ people tell about their experience. They have to meet and come to love LGBTQ+ people as individuals.
Their intuition about how the world should be has to change first.
Well, unfortunately Mormonism is a way of life for their cult members. You should explain to your kids that this is what THOSE people believe, and this is what Mormonism is. We don’t subscribe in our family, but we don’t persecute others for their delusions lol I mean beliefs.
The Belief Book is a great place to start: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07LC24GTF?ref=dbs_p2d_P_W_kindle_available_T2
It might be a hard knock growing up for your kids as the Mormon kids are going to exclude them sometimes and they will feel left out when their peers are getting baptized and celebrating (not because of the religion but because kids want to belong), and they may be curious. You’re a good parent and you see religion from an academic point of view which is always the way to explain things to kids. Remind them that Mormonism is just a religion and belief system and doesn’t mean they aren’t good or are missing out on something if they’re not part of it. They’re perfectly good kids and no one can tell them otherwise based on whether they go to church or not.
I absolutely love The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt. It is not really an intro to psychology, but it focuses on aspects of human thinking that relate very strongly to the politically divided world we currently find ourselves in. What is the foundation of our morality? How do we make decisions? How do we change our minds? Fascinating stuff.
God doesn't waste anything we go through and can redeem it all as we lay it down at his feet.
I have recently been reading a book called "The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse" https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Power-Spiritual-Abuse-Manipulation-ebook/dp/B006K4PPCS
This book has been a little painful to read, honestly. As I go back to my childhood I am starting to see the various churches I have been in and out and the different subtle ways/tactics that the leadership has tainted or distorted my view of God. I am reading this and just having to put the book down and then ponder how my image of Christ has not been correct. I need to pray that my life is a clean slate and all the things that have been written on my heart that Jesus does not desire to be there be wiped clean! May God give us His eyes to see as He sees and hearts that are softened to His will and His voice alone. He will certainly help us in that! Pray for me and I will pray for you too! :)
Sure, actually I'd recommend 2 books. One from the foremost modern authority on cult mind control, Steven Hassan. The other from a former mormon who applies hassans model to Mormonism specifically and does so brilliantly. All high control structures, whether government, religion, business, and even down to abusive relationships between individuals use the same psychological tools in order to informed their control. It's very interesting, because it's not like most of them studied it, it seems to be ingrained in human nature. Psychology have given these tools names, love bombing, mystical manipulation, blame shifting...etc. we almost always see them in some form when undue influence is at work.
Luna's book 'Recovering Agency: Lifting the Veil of Mormon Mind Control' is really good too because she goes in depth with details that have an LDS bent to it and how they fit the BITE model, so they really understand how it relates to those of us asking these same questions.
Two truly invaluable reads as I go through similar things as you:
https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Power-Spiritual-Abuse-Manipulation-ebook/dp/B006K4PPCS https://www.amazon.com/Broken-Trust-practical-spiritual-Overcoming-ebook/dp/B073491BLN
Maybe read the book The Righteous Mind- you'll sleep better if you don't think half the people in the world/country are bad. Some righties, most aren't. Same for the left, though.
I second the recommendation for Leaving the Fold by Dr. Marlene Winell. I took a lot of notes and still re-read some parts. It has helped me a lot with unlearning the mental and emotional conditioning.
Politics aside, The LDS checks almost all the boxes when it comes to Steve Hassan's BITE model,which is my standard for what is a cult and what's not. https://www.amazon.com/BITE-Model-Mormon-Control-ebook/dp/B0105FLKZI
"Leaving the Fold" was a helpful read for me. It's no cure, but did help me understand that I'm not alone in having trauma from my excessively religious upbringing. It's not just about the deconversion process, but also covers some of the lingering psychological effects that we face after.
While Jordan Peterson is not about calling himself a Christian, he has stated that he "acts as if God exists", has a whole YouTube series on the Bible, and even has whole books dedicated to his thoughts on God and Christianity.
Leaving the Fold by Marlene Winell is a really good one. It's not expensive but there are lots of free articles also available at her website Journey Free.
JP’s Twitter just endorsed this book https://www.amazon.ca/Jordan-Peterson-God-Christianity-Meaningful-ebook/dp/B095J3SB9M/ref=nodl_ I haven’t read it but I’d like to. It seems like it might be more of a Christian leaning read so it may not help with clarifying your line of thinking but it could be a resource. I too see the allure of his “metaphorical Christianity” and how it seems to connect the dots between old school religion and new school analysis. It’s like it takes away the guilt of balancing belief in a higher power and the logical counter reaction that you can’t prove it.
Colonization - It's the good old 'Merican way! Seriously, I didn't think of that either.
There's another really good 2 part one he does with Luna Lindsey Corbden, who wrote 'Recovering Agency: Lifting the Veil of Mormon Mind Control' called Undue Influence: Discovering Truth. It talks about Uchtdorf's co-opting and skewing the very old Indian parable about the blind men who describe an elephant by touching different parts of it. Only he flips the meaning of it entirely. Their observations are so eye-opening!
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I resonate with this a lot. There’s a lot of trauma for me because no matter how hard I tried, it seemed like it wasn’t enough. The people that followed these made up obligations were elevated, the people that couldn’t spend the time or money or emotional willpower were cast out/separated.
This book helped me and my wife identify a lot of abuse we experienced that we couldn’t really put our finger on. It also helped us start to work through a lot of these traumas. I can’t recommend it enough.
>You are basically saying over and over again republican voters are dumb as shit man.
A good portion are. Just like the Anti-vaxxers and herbal oils crazies in the democrat's wing. Hell even the fucking anti-vaxxers didn't raise much of a stink about the pandemic and wearing masks despite being hypocritical morons.
>Yeah because to republicans, it's not what is being said...its who is saying it that matters. Republicans were against drone strikes when obama was doing it, when trump was suddenly doing it more they loved it.
They loved him for it because he was actually listening to their concerns/fears. A health dose of the past 4 years have woken some up and they are starting to march away from the traditional republican values. Republicans tend to be hyper-focused individuals on a select few issues and dont' give a shit about anything else. I suggest reading this book if you want a in depth view of both parties
It goes way more in depth than I can possible cover in a reddit post and has citations to bring it up. Also it can argue the case better.
>To them its all about what colors you are flying and nothing more. These people will just latch onto whatever party gives them justification for being horrible people.
News flash: There's always going to be horrible people. And there's always going to be the silent people who will go towards where there is less crazies.
So, two things.
First of all, this is in one way totally normal. It's a textbook response to grief such as death or the ending of a deeply important relationship even if that relationship is with an imaginary person. The pain is just as real, and the grief process just as necessary.
In another way, which compounds the first, the depression is abnormal and the result of substantial, consistent training that makes "being outside the cult" an emotionally distressing experience. TL;DR check out the BITE model. The Christian is infected with pervasive anxiety. End of the world, divine censor, imperfection as evidence of personal failure of character, lurking demons evidenced by happiness, proof of divine pleasure evidenced by sadness, just about everything. Then the Christian is taught soothing techniques and that these things- which are specific to the religion- is the only emotional safety because everyone else has all the same anxieties.
Because you are recently deconverted, and because you're doing so well already, I expect that talking to a therapist would be helpful for you. But if you don't feel like doing that, you may find great value in Marlene Winell's Leaving The Fold. Your experience is common. There are ways through it. You're doing very well.
You might be interested in reading Religion Explained. They define "religion" to be superstition with a book describing the content, and "witchcraft" to be superstition spread verbally without any books. We have religion instead of witchcraft because it takes written material to capture governments. The problem you are observing will not get better except by decreasing the fraction of religious people.
There's a book called Leaving The Fold that has a chapter or two on post-religious sexual guilt. Therapy helped me through a lot, but if it hadn't I think that book would have introduced me to the necessary concepts to start healing sexually.
I recommended this to someone else today too: Recovering Agency, by Luna Lindsey. It helped me unravel things so I could move on.
https://smile.amazon.com/Religion-Explained-Evolutionary-Origins-Religious-ebook/dp/B009TCW076/
https://smile.amazon.com/Belief-Instinct-Psychology-Destiny-Meaning-ebook/dp/B004HW6ADS/
Plenty of scientific evidence that shows that the same brains that invent gods also invent ghosts and other supernatural entities. Read these books to find out.