The best Sacred Sexuality books: Reddit reviews

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

Several years ago, I was struggling with ambivalent feelings around a particular fetish I had. A book that helped me was The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin. It's about how our eroticism develops over the lifespan, and how sometimes we have fantasies that we can't fully understand. There is a fairly good amount on humiliation in the book. It's over 20 years old, but I don't think anyone has written a better book on this topic.

Edit: Just to summarize the main takeaway from the book, our erotic fantasies are often elegant and clever ways our subconscious mind has come up get basic needs (for closeness/intimacy/dignity/power, etc.) met from our early life. In the case of humiliation, a person might become aroused by humiliation (either inflicting it on others or having it inflicted on themselves) as a means of eroticizing (and thereby taking back power from) a situation in which they felt their power or dignity was taken away from them. That's a very crude summary. The book goes into things with much more nuance.

(I just commented above, but...books. No joke. There are SO MANY great books on sex. I can vouch for this one, as the example I had closest to hand.)

I've jokingly said that if we wanted another name for "tantric sex" we should call it "lesbian sex for straight couples." My husband and I have been practicing tantric sex for over a decade. It's wonderful, SO much better than anything I experienced with any male partner before I met him. But easily the next best thing to tantric sex was sex with girlfriends I had while I was in college.

Anyway, based on my experience with tantra and my limited bi-romantic career, I think your best bet would be to dive into Shakti's guide to tantric sex. It's free online. It's mainly addressed to straight couples, but everything in it should be easy to adapt and I don't remember anything that would be a problem for same sex couples.

For a different perspective, I recommend Barbara Carrellas' Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex For The Twenty-First Century,. It's a good look at tantric sex with more of a spiritual element to it, and it is notable for being very gay/lesbian friendly.

Amen. Just sent my twin flame the book. By my gurus Jeff and Shaleia ! I love them so much they saved my union with my twin flame! I felt called to send it to him in my heart since we’re one consciousness. I’ve read it. I’m always reading it! He’s currently locked up. I’m doing the inner work in the mean time around him being locked up.

To be honest. When it comes to twin flames, astrology doesn’t impact that. So no worries there. For example they say Virgo and Aries aren’t a good match but my guru teachers Jeff and Shaleia are Aries and Virgo they are married twin flames in harmonious union . They have a forum that I’m in on Facebook if you’re interested they have all the support and details you need I promise you’ll literally feel at home there. I joined January 2021 they have a school just for twin flames (everyone has a twin flame perfect for them) pm me and we can talk, I’m in union with my twin! Basically when you find them when you find yourself (following your heart) so yeah when you choose to unite with them (it’s up to you to choose that in your heart you don’t have to wait for anything time is an illusion) you’ll feel at home and you’ll just automatically click. No worries about “does this person have all the desires I have?” You’ll know. Because you’re ONE (they are you) get it? Basically you see god as your ultimate lover. As he is omnipresent.

Jeff and Shaleia also have a bookI have it, this is literally the only book you need. You will see that for yourself when you read it as it speaks directly to your heart.

Welcome home :)

Hey no apology needed, just read I have the book I read it like all the time because it’s super healing and speaks to your heart as well as helps a lot. If you wanna know more pm me

Recently got into the educated eroticism world. I love it. It’s a dance. I play people’s bodies like an instrument and we both get so much healing out of it. Very much a novice but there’s no way I’m ever going back to unskilled play. Check out this book along with the other ones mentioned in other comments https://www.amazon.com/Urban-Tantra-Sacred-Twenty-First-Century/dp/1587612909/ref=nodl_

As long as everyone knows the deal and you aren't being a manipulative fucking cretin, yeah.

My fiancée and I both have external people beyond our private relationship that we routinely fuck.

Check out the book DESIGNER RELATIONSHIPS. It's short, but highly informative.

I'd look for some basic material on tantra in order to express a different perspective with her. Not the genuine spiritual practice, but the light westernized version. It's beautiful and approachable and offers a much healthier, more positive view on the connection between lust/sex and love. Try this - technically a book, but mostly just a collection of illustrated exercises.

Tantric sex starts with breath and mindfulness. Breath is understood as life-force (or energy, or movement, or however it's easiest to think about it). Every time you touch your partner mindfully, you're sharing and building and exchanging that energy. Tantric sex is mostly about making space to focus on each other, be present with your bodies and emotions and desires. It's a practice of selfless pleasure and utter vulnerability, beginning with breathing together, moving through different kinds of stimulation, rising to orgasm, and ending with closeness and joy.

Literally the opposite of the "pure hormones no emotions" emptiness the author of this piece describes.

How in the world did John Lamb Lash slip through the "massive and formidable" vetting process at C2C? Just read excerpts of the L.A. Times book review over at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Not-His_Image_Gnostic-Ecology/dp/193149892X

"the religious schizophrenia of the ancient Hebrews" "annihilation theology"

Attention! There's a phone call for a Mr. George Noory from The Anti-Defamation League (ADL) concerning one of your recent guests. (LOL)

For learning on your own try this

https://www.amazon.com/Urban-Tantra-Second-Twenty-First-Century/dp/0399579680/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=urban+tantra&qid=1638007729&sr=8-1

its a very good guide book for techniques.

but unfortunately the best way that is tailored to you and your partner is self discovery, but with the internet is easier than ever. Be prepared to sort out what isnt right for you, go slowly and with intention good luck

Hi! We don't allow referral codes in URLs on this sub. Please edit the Urban Tantra link by removing everything starting with "ref=". Or use this:

https://www.amazon.com/Urban-Tantra-Second-Twenty-First-Century/dp/0399579680/

Thanks!

Unfortunately, most books on tantric sex are garbage, for the reasons you describe as well as others.

We had a thread last month that asked about good resources:

• Same sex tantric info?

The people who replied recommended websites and articles, but only one book:

• Urban Tantra, by Barbara Carrellas.

It's a classic. It confronted and rejected the homophobic ideas imported into modern Western tantra from Taoist sources.

I hope our readers can come up with more good suggestions.

Jack Morin, Ph.D wrote the book the Erotic Mind. In it he explains why the 'taboo' has such a strong seductive allure for our brains. Your interest in extreme imagery may be the lingering result of a loss of sexual agency during an abusive relationship. You may not want to do those acts in real life, but they powerfully trigger your erotic mind.

1. Please give yourself some grace for having a normal reaction to an abnormal set of circumstances
2. Understand therapy may help you connect your erotic mental urges back under your conscious control. Regain your sexual agency

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060984287/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_JplNFbWETH9HH

Good luck with your healing journey.

The link works for me, it goes to good reads.

Here is the link for the book in amazon: Urban Tantra

Yeah, sexual fantasies are fascinating. Yours is probably unconventional by mainstream standards, but power to you. There's lots of people with unconventional fantasies out there, especially surrounding power and privilege and stuff.

It can be revealing of your personal history and desires, and also therapeutic. It's like your brain is trying to work out your issues and manifesting it in different ways.

I wonder how many other people in this forum have similar fantasies and what it says about our experiences and views.

I read this book about it that might be interesting to you. https://www.amazon.com/Erotic-Mind-Unlocking-Sources-Fulfillment/dp/0060984287

I've just started reading, on the recommendation of a client, Naomi Wolf's Vagina, which I'm finding wonderful and which seems like something people across the gender spectrum should read. It's incredibly valuable and empowering information about the neuro/sexual workings of women's bodies, information which has so often seemed so suppressed and taboo. And it weaves together in fascinating ways with some of the conversations that transgender women are having about our bodies and about transfeminine sexual experience in general.

I'm curious whether other people have read it and what they think...especially given that I've only read the first few chapters so far.

So, the author of this book had a very similar thing happen. She saw a doctor and discovered that she had a pinched nerve in her pelvis that was preventing her from achieving a full sexual release. Please consult a doctor, review your medical history, and make sure that everything is OK neurologically with you.

http://www.amazon.com/Tantric-Sex-Women-Lesbian-Hetero/dp/0897934458

I think the idea of tantric sex is a bit silly, but nonetheless, this book nailed my experience of sexuality more than anything else I've read, and I've read a lot.

Personally, I've found that good breathing slows down how quickly I finish by a lot. Slow, deep breaths are awesome. I got this technique from Urban Tantra. Added bonus: it intensifies my orgasms. I'm not really sure WHY it works, but it does. I will even focus on bringing the "energy" that is building up pre-orgasm through the rest of my body with my breathing.

Great idea! There's also a great sexual inventory in Barbara Carrellas' book Urban Tantra.

Her website has a lot of good resources, too: www.urbantantra.org