Found the posting on Amazon. Scrolling through the images, they’re all irrelevant to the product, such as photoshopped pics of people sky diving with it. I also found the original image without the LubeLife logo, so my guess is this isn’t a real product and it might be the company just joking around
One day my wife asked my why the fuck I was looking at a 50 gallons of lube after I clicked on it because someone blind linked to it on reddit.
What about trial by jury? There's a lot of potential jurors.
Someone is going to need to start on the logistics of this pretty fast.
These things look very similar
May I present the moby?
I’m definitely breaking out the moby for a huge cunt like that.
Edit: since apparently people like this, and y’all nasty, I’ll link the amazon page. Check out the Q&A
Also changed a few words. Y’know, for clarity.
Why do that when a 275 gallon drum of personal lubricant is so much cheaper? With a 275 gallon drum of personal lubricant you can have just as much fun! Also with a 275 gallon drum of personal lubricant (depending on your passenger), you can choose whether you want to drive or not. <strong>275 gallon drum of personal lubricant</strong>
my bad, misread.
A little silver bullet can do the trick but if you really want to save up and surprise her one day try this. Comes down to preference but basically most powerful/high acclaimed "massager" on the market.
You can get them off amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000NBS2RE/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_2fedCb9FMQ0A3 It’s really good quality but it’s a little difficult to create. I suggest watching their YouTube video before trying!
Time to buy two of those sex machines, DIY an arduino hookup, and then write a program for it that will vary the speed of the secks and allow the computer to dom you both at the same time.
I haven't personally tried bad dragon lube, but I've heard nothing but bad reviews on it, mostly that's its "sticky" and not "lubey" lol.
If you have a farm store of some type nearby, I recommend poly lube...its a veterinary grade lubricant that comes as a powder that you mix with water. For $20 you can have 5 gallons worth of lube! (Or, y'know a years worth of lube bc don't mix it all at once). it's water-based so safe to use with silicone toys. It's all I use now.
Edit: this stuff. Available on Amazon here. But honestly it was much cheaper instore so might be worth shopping around before buying online. I got it from UFA (Alberta Canada, lol), but any farm or veterinary store should carry it. It's also called j-lube.
The barrel of lube is already here so don't worry!
Original product is titled: J-Lube
Original product located at: Amazon J-lube
Manufacturer/Seller: Unkown/Amazon + J-lube.net (And most animal supply stores)
Last Seen: September 9, 2017
Pricing: $16.95 - $18.95 USD
FUN FACT: Mixed portions of J-lube should only be kept 3 weeks maximum, before a new batch is prepared.
TIPS: Having worked as a veterinarian, here are some tips for mixing:
Start off with cold water, as that mixes best with the powder
Sift the powder before putting it into the water; this helps avoid clumps.
Microwave the mix after adding the powder to the water, then mix some more.\
After that, add water as needed while continually microwaving (the microwaving helps remove clumps a lot!) until you reach the desired consistency.
I am a dude, ^^doot ^^^doot
^(If you believe this post was made in error, or have a suggestion, please leave a comment or message me.)
Will this one do, or are you thinking about larger dildos? It comes in black though, and it will be really hard to hide it properly.
Crew has needs.
​
(No joke, you can buy one of these with 275 gallons of lube from Amazon)
https://www.amazon.com/LubeLife-Personal-Lubricant-Lube-Parabens/dp/B07FMLNVFF
That'll teach ya, get your 55gal drum of sex lube locally off of Amazon next time!
Bonus, use Amazon smile to donate a percentage of the cost to your preferred charity!
Now we know why Amazon sells these things:
https://www.amazon.com/LubeLife-Personal-Lubricant-Lube-Parabens/dp/B07FMGNV51
You could use a 55 gallon drum of lube and still not like it. Your body interprets feelings different from others and if that means you don't like it at all, then that is as acceptable as somebody who loves it all the time.
Well shit wish I'd known before I bought this
#LubeLife Water Based Personal Lubricant, 55 Gallon Sex Lube for Men, Women and Couples https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FMGNV51/ref=cm_sw_r_u_apa_glc_fabc_KAG5A6X6RX65HK6GECXE
srs I do not understand the cult following of the Lelo products. they look weird, the performance is suboptimal, and they're EXPENSIVE. but then again, I'm a fan of the actual Punisher, so take my advice with several grains of salt.
Here you go. Make sure to read the reviews:
Passion Lubes, Natural Water-Based Lubricant, 55 Gallon Drum/7040 Fl Oz https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005MR3IVO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_32XEW4QR6KKNDNZ0S8HH
Is it made for this purpose, or just happen to work out?
Edit: I think I found it, or something similar. Learn something new everyday.
https://www.amazon.com/TOM-Other-Suction-Dildo-Mount/dp/B00A52GCJG
I was more concerned about a lack of 55 Gallon drums of Lube: https://www.amazon.com/Warming-Water-Based-Body-Glide-Gallon/dp/B083V68RPP
Clearly we need to drop the market cap a few billion until GameStop is competitive in these markets.
Truthfully most of Amazons Market Cap comes from AWS, everything else is quickly appearing a loss leader until they can increase their margins from being an almost monopoly/duoopoly.
Have a NSFW Amazon link. Personally I'd say it long since crossed into the "only if you're brave enough" category of potential dildos, but here we are.
do you think it would work with this?
https://www.amazon.ca/Passion-Lubes-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant/dp/B005MR3IVO
be alot easier to keep in the garage and plumb a line upstairs.
I use a TOM, but its a pretty obvious device. https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00A52GCJG/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
But its freaking awesome! positions things correctly and can take a riding!
Honestly, if you're a total noob to anal, don't start with a toy. Far too much money needed to invest into something you might not even like at all. Pick a bottle of jlube, you can buy it on amazon, link, make some lube, and work up to taking all four fingers comfortably inside you before going for a toy. Jlube is cheap, you can make it as thick or thin as you'd like, and it lasts quite a while. My first bottle lasted me three years.
After you do that. I recommend a medium unflared chance. Decently long, while not huge around, and still perfectly rideable. My first toy was a medium Flared Chance, don't get the flared, and I still use him as a warm up toy to this day.
Remember, the holy trinity: Time, Patience, and Lube.
EDIT: added link.
J-lube. They sell it on amazon. It is terrible stuff. It is a lubricant used in the large animal veterinary field to lube um human arms to stick your whole arm up a cow's private part tunnel. It has the same consistency as elephant snot, and you CANNOT wash it off unless you have twice as much salt. I had neighbors fucking with me several times, so I used to sprinkle a light dusting on to their windshield, and in the morning when the dew comes, you get this FUCKED up substance you just cannot get off. Its like 50 homeless people bukakke'd the car. For real, J-lube. It is great stuff. I have several bottles, and if SHTF I'm using some of that, some chili powder and chili oil to mix and spread in to people's orifices. It'll be like pepper spray that you CAN NOT wash off. https://www.amazon.com/JorVet-J0109-J-Lube-Lubric-Pwd-10Oz/dp/B006G2S17A/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=jay+lube&qid=1581222063&s=instant-video&sr=8-1
They do. Olympic villages are notorious for the copious amounts of sexual activity there. They go through unbelievable amounts of condoms at every Olympics. They could probably make use of this as well.
Yoko sumali pero throwin ko lang.
Crowdsource niyo oh(Barrel of lube. Yes):
https://www.amazon.com/Passion-Lubes-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant/dp/B005MR3IVO
Alternatively eto
https://www.amazon.com/Warming-Water-Based-Body-Glide-Gallon/dp/B083V68RPP
This is the one I bought: Hismith
You can adjust from very slow to are you kidding me fast. Torque with no load at low speed will need some additional adjustment when putting under load...that is thrust for insertion. I typically get things lined up and slowly increase the speed (voltage) until the machine has enough torque to effectively insert itself. This also keeps you from treating your subject like a punching speed bag. Once inserted, adjust speed to appropriate level of squirm you desire.
At higher speed, it has enough torque to punch a hole or a nice thump. My only issue with the stroke is that it is very linear, meaning I wish it had a bit of pause at max insertion before pulling out. This will be something I will be modifying later so that it hits and stays firmly planted for a moment before withdrawing.
With any of these machines, there is a bit of subject adjustment that has to happen or if using with strict bondage, adjustment of the machine positioning.
needs lube.
May I suggest this one?
https://www.amazon.com/Passion-Lubes-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant/dp/B005MR3IVO
$10,000 and I will buy him the barrel of lube
That’s the drum of lube, isn’t it? I don’t even need to click the link to know that’s what it is.
/edit I clicked. This one’s better https://www.amazon.com/Warming-Water-Based-Body-Glide-Gallon/dp/B083V68RPP
This goes back about 15 years, purchased the product from an online sex toy shop. Apparently you can still buy it off Amazon. clone a willy if I remember correctly you make a plaster cast of your dick then pour in a rubber polymer.
Don’t have it anymore, but as I recall it was pretty stiff and not as pleasurable for her as the real thing.
remember lube. may I suggest this one?
https://www.amazon.com/LubeLife-Personal-Lubricant-Lube-Parabens/dp/B07FMGNV51
Not only is that not the most disturbing 55-gallon drum you can buy on Amazon, neither of those two are the most expensive.
And yes, that second link is an empty (hazmat-rated) drum. For almost $4300.
They sell a 55 gallon drum a lube on Amazon. Check this out at Amazon.com Warming Water-Based Body Glide - 55 Gallon Drum https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083V68RPP/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_QxV2EbDWW3R57 first more tendies then I buy that.
Cool. An actual store where I can buy a 275 gallon container of Lube and not get burned by shipping costs.
Mfw just imagining your character taking a bath in that jelly drum each evening for good health.
​
Also, this came to mind, and I'm very sorry:
https://www.amazon.com/Passion-Lubes-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant/dp/B005MR3IVO
I got a Hismith machine on Amazon. Used an Amazon card and saved up points for it, only way I could justify the $450 for a fuck machine.
It's amazing. You can have a gentle slow fuck or an absolutely aggressive pounding at the twist of a knob. I've been able to have multiple anal orgasms in an evening.
There are a lot of attachments and dildos, all within the reasonable price of sex toys.
This is the one I bought my wife. If you made one yourself you could have the single rod go back the opposite direction making it half the length. I might be making a chair with the parts from this and the sybian underneath.
https://www.amazon.com/Hismith-Premium-Machine-Wire-controlled-Dildo/dp/B01N6340A8
If you can afford it, get the app controlled version. There are patterns you can "play" that aren't just one speed.
u/Swegatronic can you send this dick mould kit to u/Its_Giza, and u/Its_Giza can you shove your pp in it and create a mold of your dick, then send it back to u/Swegatronic so he can suck on it? To be fair, you need drop a few pubes into the mold so that when it's done, swega can take a nice long slurp of that wang and feel the little pubes tickle his tongue.
Cheaper than a flight across the pond, mate!
Sorry but the Original Flavor is not available anymore.
LubeLife Water Based Personal Lubricant, 55 Gallon Sex Lube for Men, Women and Couples https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FMGNV51/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_jbRYFb2B8SD96
A Hitachi Wand with a speed controller is never a bad gift.
https://www.amazon.com/Original-Magic-Wand-HV-260-Massager/dp/B00005M1WE
https://www.amazon.com/Wand-Massager-Speed-Controller-Hitachi/dp/B001TJ6MWQ
https://www.amazon.com/Master-Cock-Super-Dildo-Black/dp/B00MOTE1Y6?th=1 here you go homie, it's on sale right now for 600 dollars instead of 1000 so it's a steal.
Just suggestion but you could look into getting her one of these if youre unsure about bringing another person into the mix. https://www.amazon.com/Hismith-Premium-Machine-Wire-controlled-Dildo/dp/B01N6340A8
I'm going to expand on my comment a bit.
This is the current version of the Magic Wand. Hitachi sold to rights to the manufacturer (Vibratex I believe) a number of years ago. The true Vibratex produced version has two setting Low (5000 RPM) and High (6000 RPM) and the bezel around the switch is square with a blue insert.
Many Amazon listings show the Wand with a speed controller, or other accessories. I'd highly recommend avoiding those as the wand manufacturer is unknown. If you decide you need attachments or (for whatever reason) a speed control purchase those as a separate item but use the link I posted for the purchase itself.
Now, none of this helps you if you're outside of North America. There is no Euro version of the Hitichi. Vibratex never made a model that was directly compatible with the 220v-240v standard found throughout most of the world. There are plenty of other manufacturer producing wind type massagers, but I can't speak to their quality of effectiveness.
If you're in Canada you can still order from Amazon, just select other sellers and order from etailz they sell the correct product and ship internationally, though it'll cost a few dollars more for shipping, and the trip take 7-14 days.
I thought you were gonna post a link of this: https://www.amazon.com/Moby-Worlds-Largest-Retail-Dildo/dp/B00MOTE1Y6?th=1&psc=1
(Also an amazon page, but you probably don't wanna view it in public)
When you realize that your sex life isn't active enough to warrant buying the 1000 pack of condoms on amazon, so you waterproof your already nearly waterproof phone and make it harder to charge for the next year.
​
Man these guys really know the hacks that normal people need. Maybe next they can help out with all the people who spent 7,000 dollars on 275 gallons of lube.
Hey wait
I think we finally found a use case for those 55 gallon drums of personal lubricant Amazon is selling
Warming Water-Based Body Glide - 55 Gallon Drum https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083V68RPP/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_HDHfFbP9CAQ1H
It has a warming sensation!
The T.O.M. comes to mind. Unfortunately Amazon doesn't sell it where I live and I'm on the fence if I should import it from the U.S.
https://www.amazon.com/TOM-Other-Suction-Dildo-Mount/dp/B00A52GCJG
He needs the 55gal tub of astroglide on Amazon 😂
https://www.amazon.com/LubeLife-Personal-Lubricant-Lube-Parabens/dp/B07FMGNV51
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Depends on what kind of “sex” you like. I bought https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A52GCJG/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00A52GCJG&linkCode=as2&tag=pleasurebet07-20&linkId=bfae987eab4cbc3f74cac14bfbc2be2f my favorite experience was when using something like this https://m.bestvibe.com/wireless-big-black-dildo.html?spm=m.c_6.g with clit stim.
Maybe ask yourself what it is you are trying to replace? Intimacy? Or just orgasm? Those can be achieved in many ways and in fact might be more fun to explore….good luck!
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What you can find on my Onlyfans: open dms, taking requests and custom video requests, fetish content, toy use, costumes, sexy readings, and more! I have a po box if you want to send me a clone-a-willie of your cock for me to use as well if you’re in the mood for something more personal ;)
i'll buy a 55 Gallon of lube, don't ask me what I'll do with it though
https://www.amazon.com/Passion-Lubes-Natural-Water-Based-Lubricant/dp/B005MR3IVO
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This should get you through most of the internship
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My lady, and every woman I know that owns one of these https://www.amazon.com/Original-Magic-Wand-HV-260-Massager/dp/B00005M1WE keeps them plugged in and tucked under her side of the bed. We call hers her "white boyfriend" lol and she uses that thing ALL THE TIME. There is a cordless rechargeable model which we'll buy next, because these ladies burn these damn things OUT!
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That looks like This, you are in for a good time!
That's no red flag. That's a 55 gallon barrel of lube.
But the downside is that means she has some dry ass pussy. Thank Gawd you got plenty of lube.
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