The best Sociology of Death books: Reddit reviews

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I highly recommend the book <em>Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers</em> by Mary Roach. Really interesting look into the all the interesting stuff that can happen to your body after death - from typical mortuary stuff like this to organ donation to scientific research.

It's a really good read.

I just recently read "Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers" and among other things covers just this. Good book, would recommend.

I don't mind it. But I'm also #deathpositive thanks to reading Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, so that might be coloring my opinion.

Was the photographer hired or was it a family friend? Ashlee Swenson did something similar for Paul's funeral and mentioned that she'd "cherish" the photos. I mean, I get that. We used to photograph our dead and while I'm SO thrilled that trend is 1000% over, I can understand that people would want mementos from a major life event like death.

("Daddy's Special Day," though. I don't know about all that.)

I'm surprised this comment isn't higher. Funerals are extremely expensive and it seems like such a useless expense. I get it that it's for the surviving family, not for the deceased, but up to $10,000 to get together around a casket and say goodbye?

I'm originally from a country where the cost of cremation are very, very affordable (and subsidized by the government because everyone's poor and there has to be a way to handle remains that doesn't involve poor people scrambling to find a nonexistent place in a cemetery). The first time someone explained the cost of US funeral I nearly choked on my coffee.

Even that bare-bones cremation, directly through a crematory is about $1000 plus oftentimes transportation costs. It's not high enough to require insurance, but also maybe not enough for family to cover easily without going into debt.

I have a list of local universities that accept bodies as anatomical gifts for when I kick the bucket and after reading Mary Roach's Stiff about all the things that can be done with cadavers, I've made it clear to my whole family that they should do their best to donate my remains to the military for a blast tests.

Yes.

I recommend both! For Stiff, I advise getting the audiobook version. It's very well done. The book itself is not any more graphic than it needs to be and is respectful (although I did take issue with the author's apparent negative view of cosmetic surgery in an early chapter.) I found the whole thing fascinating. I was actually most fascinated though when she got to the chapter about the possibility of human head transplants. Here's the page on Amazon.

As for A Dog's Purpose, I messed up and accidentally failed to notice there was an Audible version until literally just now, so I can't attest to the quality of the reading. But the book itself (as stated, I'm only half way through) is really good. Here it is.

I'm so sorry to hear you and your family had to go through that. Hopefully, your family had a support group. Sudden loss like suicide can be really hard to endure. It doesn't help that it's so unexpected. If you're still struggling with coping, I highly recommend this book. It helped me through my best friends sudden passing last year.

My grandma is the same way, too. In an unfortunate yet fortunate way, I'm glad I'm not the only one who's gone through this type of situation with a church. I actually thought my church was the only one to go against its own teachings and virtues. I'm not crazy after all!

There's actually a whole book detailing all of the people who have died in the Canyon over the years. The overwhelming majority of deaths can be attributed to being young and male. There's also a maybe not surprisingly large number of guys who died while peeing off the side of the Canyon.

> I have learned one thing I’m not going till it’s actually time for me to go.

You have amazing perspective! I have had enough proof of that in my life to convince me of that. Death is just as much a part of life as birth. I was fortunate enough to serve as a friend's death doula and her death from terminal cancer went very much like a labor and delivery, but in reverse. It was THE most beautiful experience of my life, which is why I am now choosing to serve as a death doula for others.

I hope you both won't mind if I suggest the Pulitzer prize winning book by Ernest Becker called Denial of Death:

"Winner of the Pulitzer prize in 1974 and the culmination of a life's work, The Denial of Death is Ernest Becker's brilliant and impassioned answer to the "why" of human existence. In bold contrast to the predominant Freudian school of thought, Becker tackles the problem of the vital lie -- man's refusal to acknowledge his own mortality. In doing so, he sheds new light on the nature of humanity and issues a call to life and its living that still resonates more than twenty years after its writing."

Wishing you both godspeed when your time comes!

You should check out terror management theory, codified in the book The Worm at the Core: On the Role of Death in Life. The theory is heavily based on Becker’s work.

Thank you so much! I will listen to it tomorrow!

You should read Death in the Grand Canyon. It tells stories about every documented death in the canyon. I have such a better respect for National Parks now. The authors don’t mince words either, so it can almost be funny as well.

Edit: here’s the amazon link for it: Over The Edge: Death in Grand Canyon, Newly Expanded 10th Anniversary Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0984785809/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_sDpDBbDA82ED6

It’s on kindle one as well.

Thank you for sending me these rabbit holes! My evening is now complete. I honestly don't know which would be worse: falling into the vast blue ocean and watching your only means of survival fading into the distance, or falling hundreds of feet onto a pile of rocks and other debris.

I actually almost mentioned the Grand Canyon but I wasn't sure if a segue like that would be relevant to the conversation at hand.

As for falling down the stairs: Now that I can believe! I slipped on my stairs last September and fell halfway down. I had a huge contusion on my right forearm, but thankfully nothing was broken there. My left foot, however, sustained three broken toes and a laceration on my great toe that required nine sutures. I thought I had degloved the tip of my toe, but I hadn't. I just bleed a lot.

The falling sensation, however, was frightening, so I can't imagine how horrible it must be to fall from an enormous height.

EDIT: Here is a link to a book on Amazon about Grand Canyon-related deaths. Looks like it might be an interesting read.

I am at 2.5 months since my wife of 15 years died at 39. She also was a healthy amazing mother and wife and overnight was overtaken by cancer. There is nothing to take away the pain but you find some ways to limit the suffering. I highly recommend reading, It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand https://www.amazon.com/dp/1622039076/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_9NXPHE84M9M590RZEVC4

People are going to tell you to look at the good and what he would have wanted but they are just trying to make themselves not feel the pain you can’t avoid.

It’s ok to be a wreck right now. You suffered possibly one of the worst tragedies in your life and need time to heal. Here is a post someone shared with me when my father passed.

Also this book: “It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok” helped my friends understand their grief as well. PM me if you are interested and I can send you a free pdf of it.

Therapy is always a good idea in this circumstance, don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help. Best wishes!!

If you can handle some existential anxiety, I highly recommend The Worm at the Core. It explains terror management theory, a scientific explanation for the apparent need for humans to believe in not just god but any sort of supernatural powers that can grant them immortality.

Sounds super gay, but meditation and trying to live and be present in the moment really helps.

denial of death this is also a good book. Dude was a G, and actually was pretty fucked up until he got put on his death bed and wrote this gem of a book.

It's not the pain olympics, you are allowed to feel your grief. It's the loss of hopes for that baby, as well as the baby itself that you are mourning.

My therapist shared a resource with me regarding rights of parents and children in a loss situation, and one of the bullet points was to acknowledge the baby. It existed for however long you had them, a complete lifetime no matter how brief.

I've been leaning on &quot;It's OK That You're Not OK&quot; recently and it has a section that covers how friends and family try so hard to help, but just make it worse. Comments like it's a lesson from a higher power or it just isn't the right time. The point she makes is that these events suck, and maybe you didn't need the lesson. I'm paraphrasing of course, her version was much more eloquent.

I hope you are able to heal, wanting to grow your family is stressful enough without having life on difficult mode. /ttcafterloss is full of wonderful people, and there's a few other subs that also might be a good fit if/when you decide you want to try again.

My apologies if I came off as an ass, whiskey tends to corrode my filters. You were right about the heat part, I just thought I would give my two cents about the pH. This is the first time my studies have actually been relevant to a reddit discussion so I couldn't resist. I'm glad people find hot springs as interesting as I do!! I wish I could have gotten into the discussion when the post was first starting but oh well. Before each field expedition, we're required to read the first chapter of &quot;Death in Yellowstone&quot; which details that story about the dude and his dog. Its crazy how fast you can die in YNP, bears, bison, hot springs, tourists in 60 foot long RVs, its just plain absurd.

Grief doesn't have a timeline and yes, grief can manifest itself physically as well as emotionally. It is the most powerful of negative emotions.

I recommend reading It's OK That You Are Not OK. Its one of the best that I have read.

- a nurse

> My mom did assisted suicide two years ago

Wow - I wouldn't have the courage for that. My actual thinking has been very much influenced by &quot;Atul Gawande - Being mortal and what matters in the end&quot;

I highly recommend It's OK That You're Not OK. I lost someone a couple of years ago, and after angrily burning through multiple unhelpful self-helps books, all of which seemed to be telling me to hurry up and quit being sad, this book was incredibly validating.

Try this book. I read it during my anticipatory grief period (which all the therapists I saw said was my irrational anxiety period) and it changed my life. It's not a grief book, it's a death book. Grief books are depressing, this book is real. https://www.amazon.com/Smoke-Gets-Your-Eyes-Crematory/dp/0393351904 Ofc try to get it from your local independent bookseller yadyadayada If you want memes check out my ig account griefmemesforbereavedteens

Time definitely heals- there is no way around the pain of losing such wonderful friends. I read this book when I lost my 23 year old cat and recommend it to clients suffering from any type of grief.

Grief doesn't have a timeline. I recommend reading It's Okay That You Are Not Okay Its one of the best books on grief that I have read.

- a nurse

> I’m positive I’m not up for the Grand Canyon

My wife and I were camping at Bryce Canyon NP and were planning to go to Grand Canyon NP later and do some hiking. But I bought this book detailing deaths in Grand Canyon at the Bryce general store, and there's a huge section on people who die hiking it. The biggest issue is the "reverse mountain" effect. Unlike a mountain hike where if you turn around when you get tired you have an easier hike back to the beginning, hiking Grand Canyon is easy downhill to start, and then if you get in trouble trying to return, you're in serious trouble.

We were already experiencing the "reverse mountain" thing at Bryce a little because the park road is at the top of the ridge and all trails go down. We decided GC was probably too dangerous.

Sorry for your loss. I highly recommend reading "Its OK That You Are Not OK by Megan Devine. I have read several books on grief and the bereavement process and this is one of the best.

- a nurse.

I found the only self help that made any sense to me was 'It's ok that you're not ok' https://www.amazon.ca/Its-That-Youre-Not-Understand/dp/1622039076 I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through OP, it sounds like a horrific ordeal.

I like it a lot. It's a theory by Solomon, Greenberg and Pyszczynski, based on The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker. The authors of theory wrote a book about it too if you are interested.

https://www.amazon.com/Worm-Core-Role-Death-Life/dp/1400067472

The Final Exit - This is my current strategy... I'm open to other suggestions but I really do not want to "have to" work until I am 75... and the way SSI is being threatened and likely not available when I reach 65. Perhaps UBI will be a thing but I suspect I'll have to work until I die... So the real question is how long to want to live an increasingly toil-filled life?

Hi. So sorry you're here and this horrible thing has happened to you. I and lots of other people here found this book useful: the author is a grief counselor who lost her husband abruptly at an early age, so she's one of us and it's worth taking a look at.

The best advice I got in the first few weeks: try not to think about the future, but on getting through the next hour in the best way you can. I found I couldn't focus on anything much and that mindless little phone-games, apps and youtube (comfort yoga videos became a thing) were calming. You may have a lot of Death Chores - closing accounts, etc - to deal with, and you may find it hard to remember things. Deal with them via email if you can, then you have a written electronic record of what's been said. Get a diary, write to-do lists (right down to 'have shower' if necessary), try to tick off at least one thing a day, count it as a win and don't beat yourself up if you can't do more. Be kind to yourself. Take help if it's offered and you want it: if you don't, you have every right to decline. And ask about absolutely anything you want here, because someone will have been through it and will help. <3