The best Spiritual Self-Help books: Reddit reviews

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I've been reading The Power of Now, which is helping me realize how the present moment is all we have and is the only thing that can give us inner peace. I am still reading it, but the book has certainly helped me better understand this. "All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry -- all forms of fear -- are caused by too much future and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." (Eckhart, p. 61)

A book that really helped me break out of this is Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now. Stick with it despite initial impressions and it has a very good chance of helping you as well.

And yes, I've been able to quit after heavy heavy use. You can PM me with ANY questions, vent sessions, whatever. Hit me up and I'll respond as soon as I can. (Should be pretty quick, but prob not immediately.)

A starting point that worked for me was picking up a copy of Anger from the local library, reading through it and kind of thinking about it one chapter at a time. Alternatively, a lot of the advice is somewhat similar to what can be found in the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. And in the end both of them boil down to essentially the same message as the OP; being angry at someone hurts you and not them, everyone makes mistakes, sometimes grave ones, and dwelling on them accomplishes nothing except to increase and spread your pain. People who hurt you often do so because they are acting out their own pain and anger in some way, and doing the same only repeats the cycle pointlessly. That doesn't mean you have to forgive them (although it's nice if you can find your way to that); it's more about giving you tools to move on with your life and leave your anger behind. I think Anger presented the ideas in a way best arranged to provoke reflection and adjustment of my outlook (which makes sense, since it was written by a Buddhist monk). In the most general sense, the way to make use of these tools is by reflecting on them and consciously choosing to put them into action. And it doesn't happen all at once - I still struggle sometimes when I am reminded of the things that I used to be angry about, but now I have the tools to get on with my life and not let dwelling on those things consume me or lead me to behavior that I will regret later.

This is supposed to open yourself up to self compassion. You said yourself that you wouldn't be friends with anyone who talked to you that way, s.o why do you do it to yourself? You hate yourself, because you constantly treat yourself like shit, mentally, just like youd hate another person treating you that way.

You can absolutely choose how you treat yourself. It's to change your inner monologue from beratement and blame to support and encouragement. It's hard to do and takes a long time, but it does wonders for your outlook on life and self confidence.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to learn more.

The Gifts of Imperfection by Brenè Brown. Addresses shame, vulnerability, and love.

Here is her TED Talk

My impression of enlightenment based on reading Waking Up by Sam Harris (highly recommended) and Jeffery Martin's PNSE studies is that it doesn't necessarily change your personality much and it does not really have much to do with moral behavior one way or the other. Gupta would likely behave in a similar way whether or not he was enlightened.

Yes. The thing is, it's not real anymore. It hasn't been real since it ended. It only lives now in your head.

Now is the only thing that's real.

I strongly recommend Eckhart Tolle's book The Power of Now.

I think it's good that you keep on supporting him trough this and I think you are doing a good job.

I feel like he needs to work on his BPD with the help of a professional of a work book if you can't afford or access a professional. I used to be like this but I healed some trauma on my own and worked on my self compassion with this book. I can't afford therapy and it has often not helped when I was able to access some. Even though working on my own is longer and harder it seems to work better for me.

Having people who are sincere with me and give me unconditional love helped me too. My current roommate tells me anytime I am being manipulative or dramatic (not all BDP folx are manipulative and dramatic but I am and i was way worst before lol). Getting this feed back has been really helpful. I am grateful to have someone so patient in my life.

https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808

you are not your mind. you are more than just your future thoughts and your memories. take it slow, but when you feel unhappy and anxious, focus ur mind on the current moment. it will be hard and your mind will keep drifting, but keep trying.

"wow my bed feels very soft" "it is very warm in this blanket" "lol this thing on reddit is pretty funny, it reminds me of.. oops thinking about something other than the present, lets think of something else" "wow my phone is dirty, i should wipe it" etc.

My life started unraveling last August when my husband told me that he couldn't be married to a fat woman any longer. The next few months were filled with some of the most abusive moments I have ever had to endure, and by November I was emotionally in shambles. He told me so many lies and so many harmful truths that I felt I had lost part of myself. I felt myself a gaping wound, heaving with an infection that I hadn't a clue of how to purify. The first book (of many to come) that helped me to heal was titled: "The Gifts of Imperfections," by Brene Brown. 

This book, with its unassuming presentation, provided me the tools I needed to pick up the pieces and step away with a brand new outlook; one which was shaped with hope. It guided me through my need for perfection to a soft landing of self compassion that I didn't know possible. It taught me that: even though I had no control in how my marriage had fallen apart, I could dance, sing, and laugh my way through grief. While before I had looked into my future and saw nothing but fear of the unknown, I could instead choose to be grateful for what I had in that moment. 

With help of the examples from this book, and countless others, I have found a new me. A softer, kinder, more open me than I didn't know was possible. I am so thankful that I found Brene's work, because I believe it was the key I needed to start the hard work on myself. Despite its simplicity in delivery the ten guide posts outlined in the book continues to challenge me, and I expect that it will be a touchstone for years to come. 

Thank you for your consideration. 

https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X

I don't have anything I have read, but I heard about this: https://www.amazon.ca/Way-Superior-Man-Challenges-Anniversary/dp/1622038320/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=superior+mens+guide&qid=1610308118&sr=8-1. For my own 2 cents, I'd say outside of staying away from porn, follow what feels natural. Get out, experience things, read books and if you want to then do so. I would also say, maybe go a week or so without doing anything to reset a few things.

No dude, it's the difference between whether the woman feels like she's being your date or your therapist. It's truly draining to talk to someone who doesn't like themselves because you spend the whole time assuring them that they're a good person. You ARE a good person. I CANNOT ever convince you that you are. That feeling of "being worthy" of love can only come from within, and if you don't work into that (loving yourself) then you're probably putting an emotional burden on the person you're talking to. Self-compassion takes work, but studies show that the difference between being happy and not being happy is believing that you DESERVE happiness. https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520 It is SO MUCH work talking to someone who doesn't love themselves I wrote a screed here, but I've talked to a lot of men and women about this phenomenon

Therapy for anxiety and depression has gone a long way in helping me. I started binging when I was 18 and "powered through it" with self-help suggestions for a few years. I kept "getting a hold of my problem," but as soon as I got stressed again (starting a new job, school, a new relationship, moving, etc) I kept using food for comfort (but I had never thought of it like that! I just kept kicking myself for my poor self control). I started therapy a year ago and understanding my mental health and having self-compassion has DRASTICALLY improved my relationship with food and my body. Since therapy virtual now, it's easier than ever to find an eating-disorder specific therapist. If therapy isn't an option for you for some reason, than I'd say definitely read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520

My sister is using it in lieu of therapy, and it's really helped her. I'm using it with therapy, and I've learned so much about loving and forgiving myself as well, which has helped prevent me from going into a food spiral despite going through a break up and depressive episode recently.

This should be pinned at the top of this sub, because I think a lack of self-compassion is often part & parcel with the desire to build discipline. Thank you for taking the time to write this out, as I believe it to be true too.

That inner critic that picks at us or focuses on those setbacks while on the path to building discipline can be our worst enemy when left unchecked. It needs to be balanced by a voice that looks at those setbacks or qualities more compassionately. To keep our minds light & clear, which will make it so much easier to get back on the horse or to get started with whatever we're trying to accomplish.

I highly recommend Kristin Neff's book "Self Compassion" to help you structure and develop a compassionate inner voice. It's free on Kindle if you have Amazon Prime, or only 10 bucks if not. Please read this before or during your work to building discipline to keep yourself grounded.

At one point I could only do one. I then found that I could do two, and then I would crash and burn out.

I would then get myself up, and try again. One...then two...maybe three.

Repeat the crash and burn cycle hundreds of times over the last 10 years (since I got diagnosed and started treatment).

Now, I can keep up with a few areas of my life. Sometimes I still crash, but all the times I'd fallen before have taught me a little something, so the crashes don't last as long.

I didn't know it, but each time I fell and got back up, I got a little wiser.

Self-compassion was the key to allowing me to see just how far I'd come, and how far I can go if I just keep trying while being kind to myself. I first started practicing it last year and it changed my life.

Again, I don't have it all figured out, but I'd like to let others know that progress doesn't always look so obvious, and it is definitely possible to outgrow old patterns.

This ⬆️ . Highly recommend The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. This book literally turned my life around.

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment https://www.amazon.com/dp/1577314808/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_5MXXS0Z8S0PB1GG8N2Y5

If reading isn’t your thing, there is an audio book.

Read Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh. Changed my life with my family. In literally weeks. You may not get personally angry, but you can learn to not view it as impacting you.

I’m so sorry to hear this. My therapist recommended this book to me: The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career, and Faith https://www.amazon.com/dp/0061686077/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_7JH5A0ZDR6WNYGPESKWA

Are you in contact?

Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion https://www.amazon.com/dp/1451636024/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_S8KS6P1HV84SXR0T8ES0

https://www.google.com/books/edition/The_Science_of_Meditation/T8uSswEACAAJ?hl=en

You do need to find a good therapist, and in the meantime, I would recommend you check out <u>Self-Compassion</u> by Kristin Neff. It's about learning to be kind to yourself, and even just reading a few chapters made a big difference to me, and plenty of other people. You are doing something hard and have been through a lot, and it's good and healthy and helpful — not weak or whiny — to acknowledge how tough it all is. Good luck. ♥️

Again, IDK if this is the best advice, because what works for you may not work for me and vise versa. There were definitely times during my binge phase that I said "fuck it, eat whatever you want" and just binged more. But what I'm describing is different because it was never followed by any more restriction the next day/week. Even if I overate, I overate. That's all. And the next day had another slice of pizza. And after doing that for like a month or so, the food just lost its fun. I don't have better willpower or self-discipline now than I used to -- I simply lost the desire to binge, because the ability to eat anything at any time made binging less thrilling. Again, no idea if this is the right advice for everyone. But also, what is sooooo important is to even just acknowledge that in any situation where you're unhappy, you have 3 options: embrace it completely, change it, or leave it. Anything else is honestly madness. I learned that from The Power of Now, a really really important book that is changing my mindset to this day. I wish I had read it earlier when I wanted to stop binging. So, basically the idea is that suffering comes from resisting the actual situation. Like, when I binged, I suffered because I thought "no no no, why i am i like this??? Why did I do that AGAIN? I hate this." Instead, I could've just accepted it totally ("I just binged and that's ok if I binge again"), or changed it (which is eventually what happened). Really hope this helps. if you want more advice, feel free to PM. Sending you all the best wishes

I don't feel qualified to handle problems of depression or self hatred. I would really recommend you see a psychologist or councilor.

I would also like to recommend this book I'm reading. It has helped me view myself and the world in different ways: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Now-Guide-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808.

Here you go:

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (2011) by Kristen Neff. It's a lovely read. And it's not too expensive to boot.

Good luck on your journey!

Thank you! And thank you for sharing your thoughts as well! Congrats on 69 days! I'm trying my hardest to be mature and not make a joke, but nice.

On a more serious note:Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself (2011) by Kristen Neff. It's a lovely read.

I hope your journey continues to have positive moments that outshine the negatives. It's always a bumpy road but this quote in particular keeps coming back to me about multiple things (mental health, leaving home, leaving country, and beyond). Whenever I reach a rough patch and feel "I should be past this, why am I feeling (for example: anxious) about this." or "Why can't I focus. I'm doing everything I learned." It is:

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”― Terry Pratchett, <strong>A Hat Full of Sky</strong>

You could argue it doesn't really apply, but to me it does, in a weird way. Anyhow, more tangents because I never have enough. Do take care!

Don't mind me. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment: Tolle, Eckhart: 9781577314806: Amazon.com: Books o

Sure! I'll do the best I can to articulate this.

It comes from some of the things I've learned in The Power of Now, and it is paired with some of the wisdom of the Stoics, like Seneca: We suffer more in our imagination than reality. Or Marcus Aurelius: it is not this thing that disturbs thee, but thy own judgement about it.

Essentially, Tolle teaches that what we are, our essence, is not the emotions we feel, but rather the consciousness that holds these thoughts and feelings. It is the direct association with these feelings that causes so much resistance and turmoil. Imagine two men thinking similar thoughts:

Man #1 thinks:

I am so angry!

Man #2 thinks:

I have so much anger inside of me right now!

Which one seems to be in a healthier frame? The man who experiences his anger, but doesn't let it define him.

For me, personally, this process taught me that I was covering up a very deep feeling of insecurity with ego boosting thoughts.

My process, unconsciously, went like this:

1.) Feel insecure (perhaps my girlfriend pulls her hand away from mine)

2.) React with bad feeling

3.) Cover that bad feeling up with some ego defense ("I don't need her, I get chicks easily!")

Practicing this, and really through opening myself up to the actual pain of my insecurity, I have begun to stop that cycle. I am a human so I still fail. However my thoughts now are more along the lines of:

1.) Feel insecure

2.) Accept my insecurity

3.) Reflect on my responsibility for this feeling and un-identify with it.

I also highly recommend The Five Hinderances to Self Mastery

I hope this helps!

Hang in there bro. My best friend went through that process over the last couple of years and, while it was really hard on him he is happy now.

Time will help, but for now, do your best to take care of yourself and keep your mind and body busy. Exercise. Also, I'm not sure if you've read any self-help books at all, I've read a couple over the last 6 months as I've been through some difficult times and man... they are helping me train my mind and thoughts like gangbusters. It's SO helpful. I'm reading this one right now. Highly recommend. Life changer.

Finde de terminar de leer Waking up de Sam Harris. Me esta volando la cabeza, alguien mas lo leyo?

Ah y polenta. Mucha polenta.

I know that you've probably got a lot of suggestions to wade through already, but I'm part way through this book and finding it extremely helpful.

It's a little bit woo...but I'm more taking the main tenets from it and trying to apply it to my life. Mainly not engaging with my thoughts and worries, but observing them instead. Acting and being aware that I'm the observer of my thoughts, but not the thoughts themselves. It's still work, and I'm not able to do it consistently, but it has helped me get through things that would have kept eating away at me in the past.

And when I downloaded it from Amazon it was free with my prime membership. Not sure if that is still the case, but you should be able to find a cheap used copy somewhere.

Welcome! Here's the way that I keep things simple with keto:

1. Get yourself a food scale. They're cheap on amazon.
2. Weigh everything you put into your body
3. Track all of it with myfitnesspal. Keep the net carbs (carbs minus fiber) under 20g a day. Keep a calorie deficit if you want to lose weight.

You don't really need to complicate it much beyond that. There's lots of really delicious food you can make that's keto friendly as well (I love chaffles).

You're right that your life is worth much more than hiding! I've really enjoyed the book Self Compassion, it helped me realize that I was being way too hard on myself and that most people do that to themselves. Learning some compassion for yourself can make inevitable setbacks so much easier to deal with and a breeze to bounce back from.

You can totally do this!