not for real though, if you don't want to talk to someone then I fully support not talking to them
I feel this, something I really struggle with is knowing that my disorder could ruin my partner's life, not just my own. I love him so much.
I made a post today recommending a book, I think maybe you would benefit from it. Having your partner already know and available to support you, could help you to follow the program in this book. Only thing that has given me any hope in a LONG time. They ask you to try this method for 6 months, I'm 1 week in. I had 2 slip ups on the first day and nothing since. I don't expect it to be smooth sailing but I am giving it all I've got.
"The Bulimia Help Method" by Alison Kerr. https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00PB7JI5A/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_d_asin_image_o04?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Sorry, that message got sent as I was interrupted, but it seems you caught my meaning.
OCPD might actually be the most common of all, although it's perhaps the least likely to be diagnosed. This is in part because it is extremely compatible with capitalism.
I was married to an upwOCPD... the condition is the deadly drought to BPD's hellspawned hurricane. Almost certain in retrospect that the mystery condition plaguing the mother she went NC with after college was BPD.
This is so normal theres a whole SLAA Journal on the subject (its free) and its discussed in our Text Book in Chapter 7 from memory. Just a stepping stone to recovery
We know we are getting well when we start treating other members like our brothers and sisters in recovery, not objectifying them to feed our need to get a hit xx
Amazing job! This can absolutely change lives regardless of whether parents ever drank.or not... simply tools to.unlearn any learned behaviors. Emdr is also amazing and lots of you tube clips by psychiatrists about how yo process, root cause, etc...
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008YH705E/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_9TF5WZV9AKKG607ZV745
It’s a book in most libraries https://www.amazon.com.au/ADULT-CHILDREN-ALCOHOLICS-DYSFUNCTIONAL-FAMILIES-ebook/dp/B008YH705E
ACA Fellowship Text, Hard Cover edition, was written by anonymous ACA members providing guidance on working the 12 Step ACA program leading to recovery from the effects of growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family. The book is now often referred to as the "Big Red Book", or "BRB".
Hardcover. Sold individually.
ISBN 978-0-9789797-0-6
You may also like
Twelve Steps of Adult Children (Spiral Bound) Twelve Steps of Adult Children (Spiral Bound) Regular price $10.00 Strengthening My Recovery (Hardcover, 5x7) Strengthening My Recovery (Hardcover, 5x7) Regular price $12.00 Strengthening My Recovery (Softcover, Pocket Size) Strengthening My Recovery (Softcover, Pocket Size) Regular price $10.00 The Laundry Lists (Spiral bound) The Laundry Lists (Spiral bound) Regular price $12.00
> I have some autistic-like personality traits and I get a lot of stress when I don’t know how to broach conversation with a customer
Think about it this way, there isn't any need to stress if you pretend you aren't serving them at the bar. What would you say to someone you just met?
As starters:
Remember that most of the talkers at the bar just come to have someone LISTEN. As a bartender you only have to encourage them to start talking, then give feedback and questions until they get going. If at ANY time you aren't comfortable or need to stop use the, "check on an item in the back," or, "I'll be back I need to take care of those customers."
If you want better tips or how-tos, a good starter book is:
Conversationally Speaking - like an introduction into small talk
OR
How To Speak, How To Listen - a deeper and more in-depth book on small talk
This is great! I have found structured, regular small meals to be the best way for me to recover without feeling too full (i.e. wanting to purge). I eat 6 small meals or snacks every 2-3 hours and never go more than 3 hours without eating. I eat a regular dinner every night but nothing too big, rest of my eating is regular amounts of food just split up basically.
This book was really important in my recovery: https://www.amazon.ca/gp/product/B00PB7JI5A/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_image?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Anyone who needs a Basic Text URGENTLY, its quick and cheap to purchase and download from Amazon or Apple: https://www.amazon.com.au/Sex-Love-Addicts-Augustine-Fellowship-ebook/dp/B00KF2SIWA
​
Just until your copy of the book arrives in the post :)
1) It looks like the above quote is from a non-official book. ACA/ACoA does teach you the skills to "detach" if that is part of your recovery, and there is no reason to wait until you do so to join an ACA group.
2) Yes, but not for free. There are kindle and pub versions of the BRB available and there is a good amount of the most important literature on the official adultchildren.org website.
3) Some people continue attending meetings long after they feel they have changed their lives in order to share their strength, hope, and encouragement with others. How long change takes is an individual thing. Some ACAs come in early in their journey, still carrying a heavy burden of denial and unwillingness. Others arrive with their feet already on the path and ready to walk it. Some people feel they need wait a year or two to get a sponsor and work the steps. Others begin after only a handful of meetings, though some of this group may stall out at step 4. There are no promises or guarantees of timing. My experience is that I made more progress in my first 6 months of ACA and ACA stepwork than I had in the previous 5 years. It was a huge and noticeable shift. If you are hungry for change and ready to sit with the pain and discomfort of clarity and change, then you should see a difference pretty quickly. Those changes also have to be maintained. You are not a broken toy that needs to be glued back together, you are a whole person learning to outgrow and replace deep survival habits that no longer serve you. Learning new ways to live is the first part of recovery, holding on to those new ways of life when things are challenging is the rest of it.
Someone else on here recommended this book and I quite enjoyed it. The reviews are compelling as well. If you have a kindle I can even loan it to you.
Well, you should know it's not something I do, it's something I DID. I don't run 62 miles every day, but I did once.
Though it's not as fun as the Ventures Xmas album, I think nearly anyone with enough drive can run an ultramarathon/ train for an Ironman. I was a drunk, ran 4.5 miles one day and found out I could run, then worked my way up to doing 62 miles. You should check out a coupla sources to help you on your way:
my story, The Long Run. Yes, I'm plugging my own writing. Relax, it's two bucks: http://www.amazon.com/The-Long-Kindle-Single-ebook/dp/B0060ANFPG/ref=pd_ts_zgc_kstore_5688113011_9?ie=UTF8&s=digital-text&pf_rd_p=1589452582&pf_rd_s=right-4&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_i=2486013011&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=0...
Also read Finding Ultra by Rich Roll and Born to Run by Chris McDougall. If it's important to you to run an Ironman, you will do it. Rich did five in six days...
You might be interested in a book that a friend of mine from college recently wrote about his own struggles with video games, and of the neuroscience behind this addiction (he is an MD):
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008TBXWGQ/
I don't mean to advertise for him, and I've not yet read the book, but it appears that it is well-reviewed on Amazon...