> All Republican congressmen are idiots.

This is a dangerous attitude. They may do idiotic things, and certainly some of them are absolutely anti-science loons, but every single thing the GOP does is in service of the overriding goal of regulatory capture. And there is a lot of brainpower behind all of this.

They don't want to fix anything. They want to break our government so that the GOP can point to the shambles and yell "See? It needs to be drowned in the bathtub, like St. Grover Norquist says!" and then attempt to hand the whole shebang over to their billionaire master/donors as private enterprise.

Regulatory capture is the goal. That's the true endgame. But they need to break democracy to do that.

They do that in a million little ways, by a thousand cuts, and it's a plan that's not only backed by billions of dollars from American oligarchs but is orchestrated and anchored by hundreds of think tanks. It's an ideology of pure greed that is propped up by shady organizations like the Federalist Society (to train up hyperconservative/extreme libertarian justices), REDMAP (to gerrymander everything), and ALEC (to allow corporations and lobbyists to directly write bills that benefit the wealthiest members of the corporate world).

What's going on with Walker and in several state legislatures is about breaking democracy. The GOP-manufactured deadlock over a ridiculous wall we don't need and subsequent shutdown are more ways to pretend that democracy doesn't work while in actuality it is simply being subverted by the bad actors in the GOP.

edit: for the "this is some kooky conspiracy theory" scoffers: no, it really isn't. This is all observable stuff that is being done openly at this point. A very good recent book on the topic is Jane Mayer's <em>Dark Money: The Hidden History of the Billionaires Behind the Rise of the Radical Right</em>.

I suggest reading A Generation of Sociopaths: How the Baby Boomers Betrayed America.

It goes over a lot of detail on this subject. How they took plurality power of the government in 1982, majority in 1992, and even now, still hold 2/3s of all government positions such as federal senate/house members, governors, and state house/senators (that number may have been lowered in the 2018 election, but they still hold the majority).

That we find it horrifying that the rich have too much control with the money in this country, yet, if you look at it, the Baby Boomer generation controls 70% of the disposable income & wealth in this country.

They're a generation which changed laws to help the young when they were young at the expense of their parents. They changed the laws to help the middle aged when they were middle aged at the expense of their children and parents (e.g. wanting to get rid of the estate tax when their parents generation started dying, and no way to declare bankruptcy for student loans anymore). And now that they're old, laws are being changed to help the old at the expense of the young (not so surprisingly, a lot of state government problems are due to pension issues, which just so happen to grandfather their generation into the huge pension payouts causing all the issues).

Baby boomers also didn't have to compete with women or people of color when it came to jobs or forging a prominent place in society. My boomer father talks often about how at the age of 18 they could get good, family supporting jobs by just walking into places off the street. I'm Gen-X with a millennial son and luckily I have parents that understand how different their reality was from the one kids are facing today.

A few years back a book was written about boomers called A Generation of Sociopaths: How the Baby Boomers Betrayed America. I heard the author interviewed and it was hard to argue some of his points.

The short answer is the Koch brothers and their libertarian ideology using Kansas and other interior states as a laboratory for their overarching plans to create a corporate oligarchy in America.

But the more nuanced answers can be found here - <em>What's the Matter with Kansas?: How Conservatives Won the Heart of America</em>

(An excellent companion book is <em>Democracy in Chains: The Deep History of the Radical Right's Stealth Plan for America</em> )

good for you for wanting to educate yourself about this stuff, seriously

Just want to encourage anyone who hasn't yet read it to tuck into Jane Mayer's amazing book <em>Dark Money: The Hidden History of the Billionaires Behind the Rise of the Radical Right</em>. It's easily one of the most important books of investigative political reporting released in the past decade.

She's one of our very best. If our system survives this stress test, it will be in large part because of the fearless and comprehensive journalism done by her and others like her.

edit: needed more coffee to write rite

EDIT: Just got permabanned and muted from this sub specifically for this comment. Speaks volumes, I'd say :/

r/kochwatch

https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Money-History-Billionaires-Radical/dp/0307947904

https://www.reddit.com/r/Libertarian/comments/aa6fb1/we_need_term_limits_for_congress/ecr3gmm/

TP USA, Ben Shapiro, and others are all funded by the Koch Brothers.

Big money and cronyism is paying for these right-wing nutjob cockpuppets to "own" college students and drum up fake support for "classical liberalism" and "preserving western civilization".

Lauren Southern's in on it. Jordan Peterson's in on it with his "intellectual dark web", gimme a fucking break. Steven Crowder's in on it as well.

It's all a marionette puppet show, and the Kochs are pulling at the strings.

Jane Mayer's Dark Money should be assigned reading for all Americans. Koch's are the architects but by no means are they alone!

It's partly a human thing, but I think it's gotten especially bad with the Boomers.

If you haven't already, I highly suggest you check out A Generation of Sociopaths: How the Baby Boomers Betrayed America

Try to get past the title, since the author tries quite hard to build an objective, data-driven case for how Baby Boomers have stood out in a fairly bad way compared to both their parents and children.

As a start, get a second opinion. She might have vaginismus or a similar condition that makes sex painful.If that's not the case (and, actually, even if it is,) try reading Dr. Emily Nagosi's book Come as You Are. It's very accessible, science-based, and written by an expert in the field. Each section has a TLDR; summary at the end and it's full of good information on how (cis) women's sexual needs differ from (cis) men's. I think it addresses some of the issues you've mentioned.
Edit to add link:
https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform/dp/1476762090

If you haven't read Come As You Are , I highly recommend it. It's not a Nirvana biography, it's a book about women's sexuality. Orgasms are talked about in depth. My IUD and antidepressants make it difficult for me to orgasm like I used to. This book really helped me understand what was going on and recognize tat I was having orgasms, just they are different than the screaming, shuddering ones in porn flicks. I'm much more ok with not having those every time and knowing what I want from sex. Like you said, there are times when I don't come and the sex is fucking incredible. Sometimes I want to remember every detail, and if I'm focused on coming, I can't do that.

As depressing as it is, I think we should already be something of a case study in what not to do. In particular, how to prevent another generation like the Baby Boomers from forming.

I know the generational shouting is tiring, but I highly suggest y'all check out <em>A Generation of Sociopaths: How the Baby Boomers Betrayed America</em>. Try to get past the title, since the author does their best to make objective statements and observations. They use piles of historical data to work through the medical diagnosis of Sociopathy, and it lines up depressingly well with the Boomer generation. All of that is wrapped up in the context of presenting an evidence of diagnosis to satisfy a trial's 'beyond a reasonable doubt' requirements.

If nothing else, it lays out a great, data-backed road-map for how we've gotten to where we are as a nation, and everything that's gone wrong on the way here. Tax policy shifts, infrastructure neglect, education failings, political party shifts, climate denial, and on and on and on. All within the context of why a large group of people more likely to be sociopaths than any other generation might make those decisions.

Sure. There are two books that are worth reading on the subject: Dark Money by Jane Mayer and Democracy in Chains by Nancy MacLean. Basically, for the last fifty years, a relatively small group of obscenely wealthy Americans has been pouring money into pushing the overton window to the right so that their libertarian ideals would become mainstream today instead of radical. It was essentially a response to the New Deal and what they saw as the spread of government totalitarianism. Through non-profit groups, university grants, SuperPACs, and other channels, they spread their ideas by educating new generations of young conservatives and getting radical right-wing politicians elected.

It has been depressingly effective. Right now we have wealth and income inequality worse than it's been in 100 years, but people are still afraid of "socialism," even when such policies would help the vast majority of Americans. But the wealthy have a lot of people convinced that the government can't be trusted and should have as little control over the economy as possible. So they can pay their workers peanuts, ignore environmental damage, avoid taxes, and spend billions on lobbying because they have people convinced that they should be allowed to because that's what liberty means.

This isn't some conspiracy theory either, this is actually happening. It is well documented. It's honestly terrifying and it is going to keep going until more Americans realize just how badly they're getting screwed. This has happened before too. The Progressive Era came after the Gilded Age and the New Deal came after the Great Depression, so we may be seeing such a shift happening already, but it's still going to be an uphill fight.

That's when the Koch noise machine kicked into high gear and hammered down on moving goalposts and gaslighting.

I encourage everyone to read or listen to <em>Dark Money</em> by Jane Mayer sooner rather than later.

If you want to hear more about this I recommend "Dark Money: The Hidden History of the Billionaires Behind the Rise of the Radical Right". Unfortunately - seminars like this are only the tip of the ice-berg. There are huge ideological enterprises set up with goal of establishing "beach-heads" at prestigious universities by setting up private organizations that are attached to the university but paid to publish certain results. Their role is usually to promote free markets and encourage the inclusion of economic costs in law (not just public good). The Mercatus Institute is another example of one of these privately-funded-but-publicly-housed organizations. They're the guys who made news a few months ago when they published a study on Bernie Sander's medicare-for-all plan that showed that even though it was expensive - it was still cheaper than what we're spending now.

Everyone should read whats the matter with kansas. It goes into this dynamic. It goes into the rise of Sam brownback and the libertarian psychosis that destroyed kansas. Bernie already has a massive representation with low income people in red States because of his message.

What's the Matter with Kansas?: How Conservatives Won the Heart of America https://www.amazon.com/dp/080507774X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_J6FuBbR4K8Y7E

I am a capitalist and made good money in business. I hate what has happened at the top of the economic ladder.

Some of the ultra-wealthy have used their money/power/influence to corrupt our systems. The Kochs are a prime example. For decades now, they have been creating think-tanks (hundreds) that promote their propaganda, anti-environment, anti-welfare, pro-fossil-fuel. They have also bought many of our elected officials by paying, through PACs, for their election. Those who don't play ball get "primaried" as the Kochs fund their replacements. It's largely been responsible for the lack of integrity of our elected officials today.

Their efforts have also helped to change the court system in America, by helping fund the appointment of numerous lifetime appointees who are beholden to their causes.

This is not capitalism. This is blatant abuse of the system and perversion of our government/society for their own benefit. They care not a bit about those below them except insofar as they manipulate them to cast their votes for the pawns of their choice.

Tons of details in two excellent books:

Dark Money - Jane Mayer

Democracy in Chains - Nancy MacLean

Hijacking top comment for extremely relevant obligatory plug:

Everyone should read Jane Mayer's <em>Dark Money</em> to better understand the Kochs and other ultra far right billionaires who have subverted our democracy

To orgasm, you need to know your own anatomy, including your brain. This book has helped me a bunch: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1476762090?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

It explains how we orgasm and it has completely changed how I masturbate.

> single mother

> caring for disabled parents

> Trump voter

Can we update What's the Matter with Kansas for the new level of cognitive BS these people put themselves through?

I’ve got politics, and almost only politics, on my mind. This is the last weekend before midterm elections on Tuesday. I am feeling a little freaked out.

I think many people are placing all of their hope on a blue wave. I know I am! But I’m worried we’ve been lulled into this false sense of security about how realistic a blue wave is. When in reality, voter suppression and gerrymandering and general lack of political involvement is going to make it REALLY hard for progressive candidates to actually win.

I think it’s really important to spread the word about voting, but merely telling people to vote can quickly turn into gaslighting for minorities (see: voter suppression, gerrymandering). A lot of people are touting the old sentiment that if you don’t vote you can’t complain, which totally glosses over the fact that for a lot of people, it’s really hard to vote. Progressive candidates are often working for those minority groups that face high levels of voter suppression, so I’m worried... We need the votes of the people that have a difficult time voting.

I really encourage everyone to take some active steps this weekend to engage in the election. I signed up to phonebank. I hate talking on the phone but it’s too important to sit back and let others do the work, so I’m making calls on behalf of Beto all day Saturday. If anyone else wants to take action, I suggest connecting with indivisible. I’m a person who posts political articles and memes on social media but is otherwise kind of quiet about politics... but moving into the last few days of the election, that feels like it is nowhere near enough.

Also I am currently reading this book and omg, I want every white person I know to read it. I am learning so much.

A big thing for my husband and I, when we're not both in the mood/mindset for sex at the same time, is to still be present for the other, with no expectations. Often this means that one of us will masturbate while the other just holds, cuddles, or caresses. This provides connection and intimacy without either of us having to "perform" when we're not feeling it. The happy bonus is that around 50% of the time, whichever one of us wasn't in the mood ends up being in the mood. Other times, it's just cuddles, no masturbation, and that's good too, as it usually puts us closer to being in sync for sex in the near future.

If you haven't already, try reading Come as You Are. It may provide some insight and ideas to both you and your wife.

The Bell Curve should be required reading at every single university. Universities should lose federal funding if they don't require it and test to ensure people have read it.

Standard Responses:

1. Look up "Responsive Desire" v.s. "Spontaneous Desire".
2. Read the book Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski Ph.D.
3. There's a book out there about "Love Languages", but I can't remember what it is.

Speaking of the Koch Brothers, eeryone should read Jane Mayer's <em>Dark Money</em>.

It is absolutely essential reading for understanding what has happened to the Republican party and our greater political zeitgeist.

Thank you for this. I think I need to figure out a way to have a situation somewhat like this.

Right now, he's so frustrated in general about it, he's like, "LET'S BONE! WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO!!??" And when I tell him I don't know, he gets mad, doesn't believe me, makes crazy assumptions like I'm cheating.

All of that definitely doesn't help me get in the mood. And right now, I'm not able to just say, "SEX, let's do it." I don't like it. I know he's upset. But to have sex when I don't feel it, it just doesn't seem right.

EDIT: Since this is a higher comment, I'll put this here. Thanks everyone for the advice and wonderful words.

I ordered Come as You Are and Mating in Captivity. I'm going to give them a read and not-so-subtly leave the books out so he can see I'm doing something for the cause.

Kansas is actually turning purple believe it or not. The governor is Dem, one of the Congressional delegates in DC is a Dem. Many typical Kansan values run afoul of the modern GOP platform.

&#x200B;

There's a book that is a little older but still very relevant named &quot;What's the matter with Kansas&quot; that talks about how Kansans vote against their own interests because that's the way their parents voted and their parents before them.

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I suspect that you'll see Kansas as a swing state in the 2020 election as Trump and his policies have fucked the farmers royally.

The BEST BEST BEST book either my partner or I have ever read about all of this is Come As You Are . Get it. Read it. Make your partner read it.

It will change your sex life. We recommend it to everyone. (And it covers arousal, which is why it’s relevant here).

Also, good book on subject:

A Generation of Sociopaths: How the Baby Boomers Betrayed America

>In A Generation of Sociopaths, Gibney examines the disastrous policies of the most powerful generation in modern history, showing how the Boomers ruthlessly enriched themselves at the expense of future generations.

>Acting without empathy, prudence, or respect for facts--acting, in other words, as sociopaths--the Boomers turned American dynamism into stagnation, inequality, and bipartisan fiasco. The Boomers have set a time bomb for the 2030s, when damage to Social Security, public finances, and the environment will become catastrophic and possibly irreversible--and when, not coincidentally, Boomers will be dying off.

Everyone should read New Yorker writer Jane Mayer's book about the Kochs and (to a lesser extent) other far-right billionaires, Dark Money.

For a contemporary view, Dark Money by Jane Mayer.

For a historical perspective, Democracy in Chains by Nancy MacLean.