The best Weight Loss Diets books: Reddit reviews

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The good times are part of the abuse. They keep you questioning whether you’re imagining it or whether you should stay.

I highly suggest this book:

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men https://www.amazon.com/dp/0425191656/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_nSHMFbK2HKG7E

Ma’am, your husband has a personality disorder and is an abuser. That bathroom wall banging is 100% a manipulation tactic. So is the sulking and the temper tantrums. Please read this book, ideally on an e-reader where he can’t see it - https://www.amazon.com/dp/0425191656/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_0A33SF6RMKT4WM9Y36NP

I don’t know if anyone can say what your body could look like since everyone distributes muscle and fat differently. All you can really do is diet and exercise in a way that is in line with your goals. For building a curvier, more muscular butt and legs I recommend r/StrongCurves. This is the program created by Bret Contreras and there is a Book by the same name. I am on week 5 and have noticed growth in my hamstrings and booty already. Good luck!

Other than the obvious that you're in the r/fasting subreddit....if you're into reading books, look into "The Obesity Code." Explains very well why the "Eat less, move more" movement doesn't really work

Going against the grain here, I don't think this is actually about logic OR emotions.

I think it's about control. Alarm bells started going off the more I read that this, I think it's a delibrate tactic to get you under his control, which is what abusive people want most of all.

>Queue 'why are you being so stubborn?', 'are you trying to deliberately hurt me?', 'are you trying to prove a point or something?', 'would it hurt you to do it this way?', 'I thought you cared about my feelings and my support'

🚩🚩🚩 so from this paragraph I see him deliberately: 1) making you feel like you need to justify your actions to him. You don't, but making you do so changes the power dynamic in his favour. It also keeps you focused on your actions and behaviour so you don't have the time to take a critical look at his behaviour.

2) using emotional manipulation. Not only do you owe him an explanation, but when you do something he doesn't like he turns it into you hurting him. This is manipulative AF and intentional.

3) wearing down your defences. This shit sounds exhausting, and while you can fight back now, I imagine that after weeks/months/years of it you'll just get so tired you'll stop fighting back. Then you'll just do what he wants how he wants to avoid the fight. THIS is his ultimate goal, to make you compliant.

>What should I do?

Fucking run, this is only going to get worse.

And please, take a look at the book 'Why Does He Do That' by Lundy Bancroft, you can find the PDF for free online.

Angry and controlling men seem to think that there is no way they can be abusive if they don't physically hurt their wife.

YOU ARE ABUSIVE.

Wish I could give your wife this book.

That doesn't mean everyone who tells you to up your meds is right, or coming from a good place. Abusive men LOVE to tell their partners they're crazy/paranoid/overly senisitve/imagining things/overreacting

Please read this book

https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat

I'd encourage you to do more research. Most abusers are extremely charming and emotionally manipulative. Many abusers seem like genuinely great people to everyone around them because they're not just some general indiscriminate asshole, and they may treat everyone other than the victim very well. There's a book about exactly this, the author did a lot of investigation through interviews with both the abused and the abuser. Most of the abusers saw nothing wrong with their actions because they veiwed the victim as sub-human and belonging to them.

At the end of the day, it's a power thing and abusers use a wide variety of tactics to gain power of their abuser, ranging from physical abuse to often making the victim doubt their own mental facilities through creative methods.

Two of the most fascinating to me were the following.

One guy would hide things his wife needed, like keys when she was leaving, and then watch as she became increasingly frantic. Once she was in tears, turning the house upside down, tearing her hair out, he would leave the keys in an obvious place like a table and say something along the lines of, "look it's right there. I don't know why you can never find things, you're losing you mind"

Another guy dimmed the lights, Everytime his wife left the room and then would adamently deny it, and call her paranoid and imagining things.

Abusers will try to convince you their feelings are the problem. "I was mad, I was frustrated, I felt scared of losing you, I just love you so much". But everyone experiences those same emotions without abusing others.

An abuser does not have a problem with how they feel, they have a problem with how they think. They think they're entitled to attention, care-taking, interest, to a person giving up who she is to focus entirely on the abuser's needs. And when they don't get what they think they're entitled to, they feel entitled to call that person horrible things. They give themselves permission to express those feelings based on how they think.

Never be misled; if someone talks to you this way its not because "they were mad". It's because they think it's okay to express their anger in that toxic unfair way. Read more here if you need

I'm going to have to butt in and specifically recommend against checking out the /r/fasting subreddit. Half the people in /r/keto have no idea what they're talking about and half that again in /r/fasting have any idea what they're talking about. /u/Obel34 I recommend you read the book The Obesity Code by Dr. Fung to get a good jumpstart into learning this stuff. You can also find all the contents in his book on his blog (free) or by searching on YouTube.

But yeah; autophagy can help reduce excess skin. Skin also takes years to really settle properly, and being active is important to let it tighten up and whatnot. Do all the things and be healthy.

I recently read Lundy Bancroft's book on abusive men: "Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men", and I was really impressed with it.

It totally opened my eyes to men's abusiveness, and dispelled a lot of the misconceptions that I had about men's harmful and cruel behavior. (It also honestly helped me wrap my head around how contradictory the men who espouse gender identity are (Riley Dennis, Zinnia Jones, Contrapoints, etc), because once you get down to it they're just another flavor of abusive man)

I made this little review video to encourage people to check the book out if they've never heard of it before.

Link to the book on Lundy's website (2nd book down from top of page): http://lundybancroft.com/books/

Link to the book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you purchase the Strong Curves book by Bret Contreras and read it in it’s entirety. It lays out exactly what steps to take and routines to follow. It even gives nutritional advice, talks about exercise frequency, & everything else a beginner needs to start lifting.

I was going to suggest this one. Both along the same line of thinking - the little voice inside that wants all the food needs to be tamed.

Bret Contreras's Strong Curves is probably the best for female-centric programs for those women who want something with more legs and butt focus.

Not a summary, but I was curious to know more about the plot as well, and this Amazon link has a good product description and excerpts from the book if you scroll down.

I used to think this to. That my lack of education or caring somehow triggered the violence in my life. If you can find a library, many offer free audio and ebooks, please check out this book. It helped my world make sense.

https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

> After the dinner date we went back to his place. We were on the couch. Nothing had happened yet, he just had his arm around me. I was a little buzzed off the wine, and he said "I want to show you something."

So he didn't talk to you about hypnotizing you, and get your consent? Did you have a talk about limits and what's okay, and how much control he should have?

> He told me a little more about how he likes to use hypnosis to enhance the bedroom. So as we would text, he would send me images about erotic hypnosis all day. When I wasn't at work, he would send me videos, audios, or we would have hypnotic phone sex.

It sounds like you got into a steady relationship, but he sounds like he likes to push past your limits and uses hypnosis to do so, and is isolating your from your friends, family and work. These are all classic abuser techniques. Do you feel safe in your relationship? Are you able to say no and have him respect that? Does he try to control you or speak for you outside of your sexual relationship?

> I'd wager even intermittent fasting would improve blood sugar numbers in almost all type 2 diabetics.

It does. Dr. Jason Fung's book demonstrates that most type 2 cases he treats are off their meds after a month or so.

A book I found invaluable was Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. I never thought my ex was abusive; I just thought he was a dickhead. Reading about the patterns of anger I was shocked into recognition. It was devastating in its way... But helped me to detach, eventually.

https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

Good on you for getting out! Best wishes for the days ahead.

It doesn't make a difference, you just notice it more because it's sudden. (Or rather, what's sudden is adding your pack; when you add less, you notice it.) If you could suddenly lose 10 lbs, you'd notice that too.

In fact, in https://smile.amazon.com/Racing-Weight-Lean-Peak-Performance/dp/1934030996 the author describes exactly this phenomenon, when he's given the opportunity to run in a treadmill with a harness designed to reduce his weight by 10 lbs. (They're getting more common for use in injury rehabilitation.) He's able to keep up a much faster pace than usual simply because of the instantaneous loss of 10 lbs.

Pack weight makes a more *noticeable* difference, and it probably does make a slightly bigger difference simply due to weight distribution -- your frame is used to carrying your 200 lbs around and has developed the necessary musculature for it, while it has not necessary developed to carry an extra 20 lbs on your back. (Thus the nasty burning feeling at the top of your back you sometimes get after a day in an ill-fitting pack.) But weight is weight; it doesn't really matter if it's BPW, worn weight, or body weight, you're still carrying it. Many of us would be far better served by putting down the fork than cutting the toothbrush in half.

This is a huge challenge and not to be taken lightly.

The changes you will have to make are huge. Starting with diet and training schedule, these are both key to building efficiency in muscles turning carbohydrate derived glucose into kinetic energy. Because your not a cyclist the muscles you need to be strong and efficient are mainly unused in your current daily routine. Hence the quite correct cliche that runners don't cycle and cyclists don't run. I have no idea what triathlons are meant to accomplish.

Start reading now on dietary changes, I would suggest Racing Weight. You can get it from Amazon

Racing Weight: How to Get Lean for Peak Performance https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1934030996/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_taa_iBCjAbW4X9AF9

This will get you eating well and fuelling the next most important thing....your training plan.

The British Heart Foundation do a good range of plans here:

https://www.bhf.org.uk/get-involved/events/training-zone/cycling-training-zone/cycling-training-schedule

The three plans are beginners (5 weeks), intermediate (5 weeks) and advanced (10 weeks).

So nearly 6 months of training to get you there.

The big changes that need to be made are: Diet Train 6 days a week Go to bed early Cut out alcohol

As for bike fit and saddle choice, they can be done at a local reputable bike shop. Importance on the reputable not size.

If you are going to do thus get serious today, its not a cake walk :-)

Hope this helps.

The fact that he’s making this all about himself when you were the one who had to go through all of the serious physical aspects of pregnancy and loss ... is truly terrible. The fact that you don’t believe you can safely talk to your therapist about this is not okay. I hope that you can get the help you need. https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656/ref=sr_1_1?crid=9H84TET0I137&keywords=why+does+he+do+that+lundy+bancroft&qid=1576347460&sprefix=Why+does+he+%2Caps%2C152&sr=8-1

I would recommend that you read https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Fasting-Intermittent-Alternate-Day/dp/1628600012/ And https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1771641258/

These books contains links to a lot of the studies that answers your questions in depth.

Please read this book

https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656

https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat

If you can get your mother to read it, it would be great. Buying her a copy is probably a risky idea, maybe send her a link once she has a laptop? Assuming your father doesn't have access to it? Please keep in mind that abuse tends to escalate when the abuser feels his victim might be getting ready to leave him, it's the most dangerous time for her.

Congrats on your progress. Keep it up!

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I also just learned that r/BingeEatingDisorder is a thing. I had no idea. I thought if I wasn't bulemic (didn't vomit) I was just lazy with poor self control.

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I just started reading Never Binge Again by Glenn Livingston, and while the writing style is a bit gimmicky/hokey, he's got some good psychological tools to reprogram your brain.

the only thing i would suggest is getting on a program that has some built in progression and frankly expertise behind it. i think r/strongcurves would be a place to start. It's based on this book, and authored by a guy known as the glute guy (Bret Contreras). On the subreddit i think you can find the program outlined somewhere. Additionally if you want the book, he came out with a newer book which is like a glute training encyclopedia. I don't see any of the programs from the newer book floating around on the internet but i haven't really been looking since i bought it. I'm not affiliated with him at all, but i see the progress my wife has been making on the program and endorse it. ok, that sounded creepy, but upon trying to reword it, i can't make it sound any better. But yeah, if you want do your research on the guy and see if it's right for you.

If you want to help, you can be a treasure trove of information, so that if she asks for your help, you are ready. Also, be there for her if she needs you.

I would also recommend making observations over passing judgments. For example, "That's a common tactic of abusers" is a plain fact, while "your boyfriend is an abuser" is a judgment that she may feel you are not equipped to make not really knowing the guy. You might bring her this book if you think she might be open to reading it.

Sometimes victims of domestic abuse need affirmation, especially if it's a pattern they've been in. You can tell her what you like about her and that she deserves better.

If she says something like "I don't know what to do," you can ask her how she feels about her options, or if she's tried to lay them all out, or if she'd like your help brainstorming. If she chooses abortion, there is a time limit on that one, and it will depend on where you live, so you can help her by looking things like that up before you meet with her, along with costs, locations, how to make an appointment, and where she can go if she's missed the deadline where she lives. If she seems surprised at how much you know, it's ok to tell her you thought she might want that kind of information given her circumstances (from the sound of her message, it didn't really seem like she wanted the pregnancy).

Ultimately it's her choice, and not really your business. But you can be a sounding board for her and help her think through her options in a nonjudgmental way, if you can manage that.

No it’s not sinful to break a fast. God is happy that you’re even trying, a lot of Christians don’t fast even though the Bible tells us to. I believe there’s a difference between fasting with God and fasting for him, and when it’s with him, Grace is there to help you and to empower you. There is no way I could’ve done the fasts that I have except by his grace!

I have a podcast episode i did on it if you want the link message me. Give some tips on what is helped me. Most of all I recommend this book called The Complete Guide to Fasting written by Dr Fung. It’s very informative!

Also fasting is not to get something it’s to become someone. You’re already close to God by the Blood of Jesus. Don’t use fasting as works, it doesn’t get us stuff. It helps us to learn who we are by the finished work.

Please see my other post in this thread about Never Binge Again. You absolutely DO NOT need to find the root cause of your unhappiness and 'emptiness' to stop binging. You just have to stop binging to stop binging.

It could take you years of therapy and meditation to "discover" some magical "root cause" that makes you binge. You can do TONS of damage to your heart in that time.

I'd say stop binging FIRST. Right away, and then go find out what your root cause of sadness is. Don't let your brain TRICK YOU into thinking you have to find some primal cause to stop killing yourself with food. Read the book. It's a life-changer for real. (Or one of the other two books I mentioned if you don't like that one).

This book is really great, I will try to get my daughter to read it someday. https://www.amazon.com/Why-Does-He-That-Controlling/dp/0425191656 I think it's helpful because it teaches girls and women how to avoid/recognize abusive relationships and also how to deal with the situation when their friends are in abusive relationships (too often friends abandon friends because they get fed up with seeing it, and we women really could do a better job supporting each other in these cases). It helps the reader empathize and understand the complexity of the situation (that it's not just a "self-esteem" issue). I say read it and if you like it, pass it on to your girls when they start dating.