Show, don't tell.
Francine Prose put it better than I can in her analysis of Dulse, by Alice Munro.
>Finally, the passage contradicts a form of bad advice often given young writers—namely, that the job of the author is to show, not tell. Needless to say, many great novelists combine "dramatic" showing with long sections of the flat-out authorial narration that is, I guess, what is meant by telling. And the warning against telling leads to a confusion that causes novice writers to think that everything should be acted out—don't tell us a character is happy, show us how she screams "yay" and jumps up and down for joy—when in fact the responsibility of showing should be assumed by the energetic and specific use of language. There are many occasions in literature in which telling is far more effective than showing.
It being performative and constructive doesn't necessarily signify any degree of choice by any means. Most (hardcore) constructivists concede that, though we may recognize the ways in which we socially construct concepts, that doesn't at all mean we can change them on a whim; they're not objective values, but neither are they subjective values, they're intersubjective. Which means a constructed social conception is far from implying any sort of "choice".
I reckon you probably know it already, but this book comes very highly recommended in case you want to look more into the concept of constructivism within queer theory/gender studies, and an insight into the performativity of gender.
Reading Like A Writer is a good place to start. If your goal is to improve your academic writing and you're in the US, look at English 1302 textbooks. These focus on composition and argumentation, which will be important in college essay writing.
I think there is something to be said for reading a book as a reader before you pick it apart as a writer.
Read the book once and if you enjoy it and think there's something to be learned from it, read it again (or read sections) and take notes or pay attention to the things you can use.
I tend to take notes in books using pencil. I underline and write directly on the pages. I also use sticky notes to flag pages for reference or when I have a lot I need to write. If I want to do an in-depth analysis of a section, I might photocopy or print out the passage.
I also recommend Reading Like a Writer by Francine Prose which I haven't actually read yet, but god damn it, I swear I am going to.
>A shy manifesto, an impractical handbook, the true story of a fabulist, an entire life in parts and pieces, Manhood for Amateurs is the first sustained work of personal writing from Pulitzer Prize-winning author Michael Chabon. In these insightful, provocative, slyly interlinked essays, one of our most brilliant and humane writers addresses with his characteristic warmth and lyric wit the all-important question: What does it mean to be a man today?
You should read her memoir Just Kids it’s pretty great for a deep dive into early 70s New York and her early days as an impoverished artist.
> I've just wasted all this mental effort for nothing
Nope. Questioning yourself is always important. If nothing else, it keeps us from becoming full of ourselves. And you've given more thought to this issue than most people devote across their entire lifetime.
Judith Butler wrote a number of books about gender (the first was Gender Trouble). One of her major points is that we are all performing gender - that it is something we are all copying, but there is no original - there is no platonic original casting shadows on the cave wall. This is a book that you will come across if you take gender studies classes. Back when I took those sort of classes, they were called "Women's Studies". This was the core of what I did for my second bachelor's degree (3rd was accounting).
On the thing of long hair. I grew long hair in high school. It was pure rebellion against my parents and teachers. After a few months, I went back to short hair because I hated how much effort went into taking care of shoulder length hair. I had to get up early in the mornings to have enough time to blow dry it before school (I had very greasy hair at the time and it would look like crap if I didn't shampoo daily - also I am lazy as all get out). When my parents asked why I went back to short hair, I basically, said "fuck you, you were right. too much effort." (it was a toxic family, and letting someone else be right = losing).
For a good understanding of trans identity start with some Judith Butler and then move on to Julia Serano. For a broader understanding of gender... I dunno The Feminist Mystique changed the world a lot.
Aha!
Plato and Aristotle familiarity is at level:'some'!
I know very little about Marx and still less about Heidegger. But I did pick up "Heidegger's Children" a number of years ago, and I never read it, so maybe I'll check that out first.
For Kristeva, I couldn't find an article, but found this lecture about Arendt's ideas about political violence, societal transformation, social foundations, and anti-semitism. There might be more on Kristeva's website to poke through.
I also grabbed a copy of this lecture of Kristeva's, I'm hoping it's more biographical than the free one. I tend to feel more comfortable betting that a lecture will be relatively self-contained, so these are great. If you stumble across a link to Kristeva's thoughts about feminine genius & Hannah Arendt in a shorter form, please let me know.
Thank you for your help!
True. And I'm with you 100% I absolutely agree that gender roles are a construct that we start building from the moment a baby is born and thrown into blue or pink clothing. This is probably my favorite book on the subject.
I had these discussions with college classmates a lot, as I studied math and economics and often found myself elbows deep in an econometric regression with male classmates... but also studied dance and have been practicing classical ballet since I was fairly young. Ballet, if you're not familiar, has very deep anti-feminist roots and I could talk your ear off about what it means for a parent to enroll their little boys in football and their little girls in ballet... but something always struck me as too simplistic. My parents were very encouraging of anything I wanted to do and frankly, the way sports were set up in my school, I was much more likely to start acting ditzy, fall all over the football players and be ashamed of being in honors classes had I joined cross country, than coming home with bloody ballet feet every night. My point being that I wanted to dance and I didn't want to play sports. I was an artistic kid and my extracurricular interests had more to do with that than identifying with some need to be girly.
In our attempt to raise children in a gender-neutral setting where a little boy can ask for a hot pink microscope if he wants and a little girl can run past the barbies to the chemistry set, we aught to also avoid overcompensating or discouraging kids from doing anything they want because it does or does not align with our idea of what they should be doing.
You die in a dream, you wake up... it works the other way around for you in the dream it seems.
I N C E P T I O N Still Alive: A Holocaust Girlhood Remembered (The Helen Rose Scheuer Jewish Women's Series).
I just finished reading this which, judging by your name and comment, you are familiar with.
Fairly enjoyable read.
i like many of the suggestions here (Rilke!) and will add Reading Like a Writer by Francine Prose.
Manhood for Amateurs: The Pleasures and Regrets of a Husband, Father and Son by Michael Chabon
It will help you to feel better about being less than perfect and less than sure of yourself. Plus it'll make you laugh and maybe cry just a little.