The best Women's Biographies: Reddit reviews

From 3.5 billion Reddit comments

Was she raised in a conservative religious family/church/community? Those "Purity" messages can really screw people up. Pregnancy phobia -even when the person knows better - is a thing that happens sometimes.

I recommend you spend some time watching Sexplanations together and get PURE by Linda Kay Klein and read or listen to it together (the audio book is great, and may be available through your library).

Couple's counseling with a therapist.

You need a third party who can validate her being heard and explain to her that she isn't being good to you by denying something that treats your medical condition.

Also, the book "Is it You Me or ADD" might help her find her feet in the relationship.

I suspect he's one of those guys that doesn't think he needs a hunting license since he owns 30 acres.

Joke's gonna be on him when someone on the neighboring lot hears him shooting his shotgun in say August, and then finds a wounded deer on his property.

Also he should have fun figuring out which are the edible plants and which are the look alikes.

I eagerly await his preparations for winter in Wisconsin.

If I were him I'd find a copy of this at his local Goodwill.

That's the lie of the TLW movement: that once you're married, all the body shaming, the whole "sex = chewed up piece of gum" horribleness, will just fly out the window on your wedding night and you'll have the most wonderful sex ever. As if people can just shed all that psychological baggage in the blink of an eye.

Personally (and thankfully) I was spared all of that. I had heard of purity rings (and that was only well after leaving Christianity) but I really didn't learn of the true awfulness of the purity movement until I read Linda Kay Klein's Pure book. Holy Toledo!

Norah Vincent interview for anyone who's curious. Skip to 9:25 if it doesn't do so automatically. The interview was about her experiences while writing "Self Made Man".

False comparison both in scope and knowledge

1. Hillary doesn't know who buys her books.

2. The amount of money that's paid for to stay at the Trump hotels $1800/day is enormously larger than the fee one pays for a book $14.

3. Hillary wasn't in office when she was giving her speaking engagements (your source above)

Edited for sources as per rule 2

> Any good schools, manuals, insight or resources to truly know how to big-picture Army for a reforming shammer

Since you're in S3.. I've heard this is a great manual to keep at the desk.. Teaches you how to shift blame for any wrong doing/mishandling/issue S3 encounters with soldiers' paperwork

I mean, yes because no one here can predict the future or how you'll turn out. Dr. Kay Jamison wrote a best selling book, An Unquiet Mind, about being a clinical psychologist with Bipolar I Disorder, so obviously it can be done. However, your mental health and experience is different from hers and I'd recommend stabilizing the condition first, especially given the treatment resistance and its effect on your previous graduate studies. Are you engaged in CBT, ACT, or some other evidence-based practice for depression? It sounds like your doc is a psychiatrist or prescriber primarily. While a mood stabilizer is the first line treatment to stabilize mania, a Bipolar I depressive episode usually requires talk therapy as the primary treatment due to the risk of many SSRIs inducing a manic episode.

Edit: she's a clinical psychologist, not psychiatrist. My bad.

> I understand a frustration with rigid, societal gender roles.

OK, but please understand that that's not what gender identity is about.

Suppose we tell you, "We're going to transform your body to female, and that's how everybody is going to see and relate to you for the rest of your life. But don't worry! We're not saying you have to be feminine! You can be as masculine as a woman as you like! But you have to be a woman."

I don't think you'd be cool with that. Possibly a few people have a lot of built-in gender flexibility and could roll with that punch. A lot more people think they could handle it, but in reality probably could not - Nora Vincent thought she could, for example, and almost lost her mind, even though her change was only outward/social and not bodily.

Sort of! It works sometimes.

The idea of these "scripts" isn't that they have such a high success rate, it's that when you run a "script" over and over on different women, the rejection doesn't feel as personal as when you painstakingly came up with something unique for each woman.

When people reject this profile, it's not personal. He didn't write it. When he tries a script in each conversation and gets unmatched, it's not personal. It's not his script. They're not rejecting him, he just needs to find better material. In a rejection-rich environment like Tinder (and dating in general), this can be really liberating.

For profiles in particular, you can think of them kind of like the spam e-mail from the African prince. It's misspelled and obviously fake, and that's on purpose. The only people who respond are gullible, confused, etc.--the perfect target.

This profile is targeted at people who want some nice abs to play with and are kind of into assholes, and there really are plenty of women who fit in that category, at least sometimes. Again: the perfect target.

Edit: If you haven't read The Game by Neil Strauss, I highly recommend it. It's very entertaining and, I think, really captures the spirit of the movement.

Hummm...não tenho ideia, mas vou chutar do meio do campo.

Tem o caso de uma mulher lésbica que se disfarçou como homem e viveu 18 meses assim. Ela tem uns insights bem interessantes e inclusive teve uns dates com mulheres. Para ela, em termos de relacionamentos e sedução, o papel do homem é MUITO mais difícil que o da mulher. O homem precisa se provar e há todo um tipo de pressão para seduzir, enquanto que para a mulher o papel é muito mais simples.

Eu concordo em boa parte com isso. Atravessar uma sala e abordar uma mulher que você acha extremamente sexy e que tem um sorriso bonito e tal é extremamente difícil e aprender isso é um caminho longo e repleto de frustração. Por isso, por exemplo, que você vê muito nerd masculino virjão, e muito menos mulher na mesma situação, e por isso que pipocam tópicos do tipo "como chegar na crush" partindo de homens, e não de mulheres.

Ter sexo com frequência é muito mais fácil pra mulher, no final das contas, e acredito que um cara que é bi mas que é socialmente morto pode acabar "migrando" pro outro lado, talvez por ser mais fácil e se sentir mais realizado sendo desejado, seja da forma que for.

Como eu falei no início, é um chute do meio do campo e nada impede que eu tenha isolado a bola do estádio.

I've heard really good things about the book Pure, by Linda Kay Klein (here's the Amazon link). If money is a concern, see if your local library has it.

I 100% feel for you, I was raised with the same purity beliefs. To this day it impacts my (married) sex life, but I'm actively working through it with a professional. Highly suggest that or a therapist when you're in the financial position. Until then, there are lots of great books and so many other women who can offer you moral support. You're not alone, you're not broken, you can heal and have a healthy, happy sex life! Check out @erica.smith.sex.ed on instagram, she's the sex educator I'm working with, and she has several highlights about purity culture and recovery from it. Education and community will get you a long way until you can work with a sex-positive therapist.

Holy passive aggressive slut shaming. Gross, gross, gross.

Don't put up with this, please. Loving your family doesn't mean you have to expose yourself to this toxic garbage.

Set some boundaries, talk to your s/o about what that will mean interacting with your family in the future, let your s/o help you stick with those boundaries. Perhaps you can tell her that you aren't hiding anything, that your personal life is personal, that you are happy; that you had tried to honestly connect with her as she enters this new stage of her life; that you are deeply disappointed and saddened that she thinks so little of you and can treat you with so little respect; and that you wish her well, but will not every accept such abusive stuff from her again.

I, personally, would be extremely uncomfortable participating as MOH for such a person. I do not envy you having to figure that out.

Give her a copy of Linda Kay Klein's Pure as a wedding gift.

regarding the non-penis portion of your post. there was a book by norah vincent called Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man. i haven't read the book, just norahs explanation of it. basically, she spent a year dressing and acting like a man. but, she had to quit because she became suicidal as a result of it. so, this isn't a thing for cis women. some may say they want to do it, but they really don't because they don't do it. and if they were to try it, they would wind up like norah.

the difference here is that you are expressing your desire that you are or might be a man for many reasons, and part of it is not feeling female. that's very different than saying you want to be a man for male privilege. i guess the point i am trying to say is, is that your feelings aren't equally comparable to cis women. try asking that question and ignoring the privilege part. would you arrive at the same conclusion?

I really do feel for them on their wedding nights. From virginal property of their father to sexually free joyfully available property of their husband in a matter of hours. If we start a book club, we should add the book ‘Pure’ to the list. Link: https://www.amazon.com/Pure-Inside-Evangelical-Movement-Generation/dp/1501124811 It’s written by an ex-fundie woman and focuses on her experience/research of purity culture and the trauma it causes women. I need a tell-all of uncensored wedding night & the real details of the sexual dysfunction that MUST be going on.

Is anyone else super excited for Hillary's book!??!?!?!

https://www.amazon.com/Untitled-Memoir-Hillary-Rodham-Clinton/dp/1501175564/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1501181422&sr=1-1&keywords=hillary+clinton+what+happened

This thing is already #1 best seller on Amazon, I was laughing. I literally saw the tweet like two seconds after it was posted, pressed the Amazon link, and it was already #1 best seller in civics. Now it's just #1 best seller period. Hooray!

You should read "Educated" by Tara Westover.

Hell, you should give copies to anybody you know who is in a similar situation.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399590501/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_TGF5TCGJRD9RW8JMCRZ7

It will be like after the 2016 election where Hillary wrote a whole book on what went wrong and blamed absolutely everything and everyone except the primary cause - except the front cover of the book gave away the true ending.

https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-Hillary-Rodham-Clinton/dp/1501175564

It was an ironic hint at an almost self aware moment for her. I can't help but think whomever designed the cover was in on it.

Here's the Amazon link. It is illuminating reading. I'm not saying I agree with everything she had to say, but I will say that as a man, it was stunningly refreshing to see someone else acknowledging that male life has entire classes of difficulties that aren't even on most women's radar.

If you are woman I might recommend Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free

Not really about the CoC more about mainstream evangelical purity culture but it’s helped me and some others that grew up with toxic views around women’s sexuality.

I loved the book Pure by Linda Kay Klein. It helped me see a bit more of how damaging the system was that I was raised in.

I’m so sorry you were lied to like this. I’m glad you’re getting treatment. My SO and I haven’t had vaginal sex for the purpose of birth control, and honestly I’m a little nervous about trying now that I’m on regular people birth control. We have a toy I’ve practiced with, but it hasn’t been too successful so far. I think it’s nerves, but I’m definitely worried about vaginismis (even though i use a menstrual cup). I’m pretty happy with our sex life the way it is, but it’s frustrating that I’m so anxious about opening all avenues.

The churches i grew up in definitely failed in sex education in every way. In college, i had to explain to multiple women that pulling out doesn’t work, they could still get pregnant in their periods, and even how to use a tampon. I went to a conservative baptist college, and they put immense pressure on people to get married ASAP. You can’t go off campus together unless you’re married. You can’t go anywhere in private without being married. You weren’t allowed to touch each other in any way. Men couldn’t get ordained in the pastoral major unless they were married. You can imagine the numbers of students getting married during their undergrad or immediately after.

I know so many who ended up accidentally pregnant or had very upsetting experiences with sex when they got married so early in college.

The idea that sex magically works in marriage after remaining celibate (especially with the huge pressure to refrain from masturbation) is so unhealthy. The idea that sex is JUST missionary penetration is also so hurtful. It’s so very obvious that conservative christianity is inundated with powerful men and has a severe lack of female representation.

Good luck, fren.

I just found a book titled "Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.: Stopping the Rollar Coaster When Someone You Love Has Attention Deficit Disorder". I can't recommend it yet, but am really hoping this it the book I can give to those I love as a users manual for my brain.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0981548709

What Happened is the third best selling biography on Amazon (the audiobook is #6 and the Kindle version is #9), and the best selling political book in any category.

It's the highest selling women's biography (with the Kindle and audio versions coming in at 3 and 4). The book is all 3 of the highest selling political memoirs and also the highest selling civics book.

What Happened is also the #1 bestseller in any category.

Bernie's new book is claiming the high number of..........#714. His last book is #13,503.

https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-Hillary-Rodham-Clinton/dp/1501175564

Did Amazon make it verified reviews only? I saw it at 3 stars yesterday.

Also how is it? I'm about to finish the book I'm reading soon, so I'm thinking about potential reads. I also have a copy of Hyperion as well, but I wanna weigh my options before committing to a new book.

About $17.99 on Amazon.

That’s a great question! Unfortunately I don’t know of any resources specific to this particular subject, but a lot of books written by WOC touch on these subjects among others. One that I love a lot is Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Infidel https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743289692/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_h4eqFb45BSRZ4

Everyone has issues in their lives on multiple fronts. Trans men have issues around being biologically female, being trans, AND being men. Since they experience discrimination because they are men, they need to be included in men's rights. Not only that, but since they have lived experiences as both female and male they can be powerful allies in the quest for gender equality. Norah Vincent's book about going undercover as a man for 18 months is a great read. I've read similar much shorter stories from trans men that give a unique perspective on male/female experience that most people never get.

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702

I'm just starting this journey with my spouse (who's male, but also has a severe trauma history that's just now being addressed, and we're in our 40s), so I empathize with where you are. I'm getting a lot out of "Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?" by Gina Pera, though Melissa Orlov seems to be good too (my spouse is reading her relationship book, mentioned in another comment). We're taking one of Orlov's courses together starting next week.

I do find that Pera's approach has been more validating for the anger I've been struggling with, and feels super empathetic toward the experiences of both partners in the relationship. I'm soaking it up because there are tons of familiar stories, clear explanations and examples (including plenty with how it presents in women / people who are afab). It also weaves in practical strategies for how to reach/engage the attention of someone with ADHD.

Is your wife seeking medication in addition to therapy? That seems to be a key piece that allows all the others to become effective when practiced and used. I know we're not supposed to "parent" our partners, but IMO, when the disorder is preventing them from getting necessary care, something like making the appointment and helping them get there (even if just virtually/phone) would be a kindness, plus a faster way to get back on track.

One thing seems true across everything I've seen, experienced, and researched: we can support and empower, but we can't fix it for them. They have to participate in their own care, in an ongoing way. If you try to compensate for this without your wife doing their part of the work, it's a pretty awful path. I've been on it for years (the roller coaster descriptor is on point), and am just now finding hope - today's been a better day, and information is definitely power.

Congrats on de-constructing toxic religion. Purity culture placed an irrational burden of shame on a so, so many of us. It's hard work to throw it off, but life is so much better free of it. And re: shame about late-blooming -recognize that shame response as part of the purity culture you were taught. There is no moral failing in learning and enjoying now your body and sexuality. And there is no failure on your part for having been indoctrinated. How and when you explore your sexuality is entirely your own personal business, no one gets to shame you for that.

As I've gone through a religious deconstruction, this Maya Angelou quote has been a bit of a mantra and reassurance: Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

Check out Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free by Linda Kay Klein (Link is to Amazon for info, but check your local book seller or library; also the audio book is read by the author and is quite good.)

> Which opportunities does she have specifically because she is a woman

• Waitress- it is much easier to get a waiting job as a female than a male. There are many restaurants that only hire women for this position.
• Clerical work- most front desks in offices want a non-threatening looking woman.
• Women's clothing and beauty stores- the majority of clothing and beauty retail space is for female clothing. They make it very clear that only women need apply for those positions.
• Stripping
• Marrying a man and living off of him.
• Patreon, Twitch, OnlyFans, Youtube other websites.

OP really does have a lot of opportunities as a 23 year old woman, even if she's only a 5/10, she has opportunities. She really just has to omit her law degree from her applications, and I'm pretty sure she'll get something.

> I would swap my life as a woman anytime against that of a man. I would not have been raped, I would not have people shoving me their biases in the face everywhere I go online,

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. If you really want to know what life is like as a man from a woman's perspective, then read this book. "Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man." She finds out pretty quickly that being a man sucks.

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Year-Disguised/dp/0143038702/