Here's a great book that I absolutely love: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935274066/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ljONFb0N7CRCE
It covers sensory differences, sensory integration, and no shortage of wonderful activities to try with you daughter that are reviewed by experts. Couldn't put it down the first time I read it.
Living without a diagnosis and being invalidated is really hard, I've linked some resources that other people have found helpful that I hope help you too. Sarah Hendricks has a great talk on being on the spectrum that really helped me out, she talks about sensory issues and how they affect mental health.
The Trevor Project has a hotline if you ever need it, here's their information: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now/ They accept phone calls and chats. https://www.trevorspace.org/
The psychologist who assessed you was probably not trained in autism identification, here's a list of psychologists approved by neuroclastic: https://neuroclastic.com/2019/04/12/specialists-diagnosing-asd-in-adults/ You're not the only one this happened to, and self diagnosis is considered valid by the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. Their page also mentions it's okay to be not sure if the label always applies, use it if it helps you. (This is also advice given by one of my favorite speech therapists validating self diagnosis.)
Psychoeducation was the best first aid that helped me after my diagnosis, I hope some of the information helps you out too. Developing a sensory diet was important as well as not pushing myself too far.
Take breaks when you need them, and make sure to rest and get enough sleep. If you need a break, you need a break, give yourself a break. Listen to some music if that helps you, whatever helps you recharge. Neuroclastic has this article on how to recover from autistic burnout. The author also happens to be transgender. https://neuroclastic.com/2019/11/18/tips-for-autistic-people-to-help-recover-from-burnout/
Here's Indie Andy's video on autism burnout if it's helpful: https://youtu.be/YAFzRUFe1SY
If you prefer podcasts, you're in luck! https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/the-thrive-with/5-autistic-burnout-recovery-6vJLgOwpNql/ Whatever mode of information is most comfortable for you.
Investing in sensory interventions was valuable to my ability to be regulated, I have a pink light due to Irelan's syndrome and invested in a heavy blanket. Gave away a weighted blanket to a friend, she loved it. They're a bit of an investment item but I've seen a lot of them on sale for now. (To find the right weight divide how much you weigh by ten.) Also headphones, depending on what kind of sound processing issues you have. (Hyperacusis has different reccomendations than misophonia/APD).
This book, although geared towards children, was helpful in understanding my sensory differences and what to do about them: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935274066/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_JZONFb3TB82P8
I've seen posts on instagram making reccomendations for transgender people on how they can subtly affirm who they are if their environment isn't safe to be out.
Here's the work of the Academic Autism Spectrum Partnership In Research and Education on accessing healthcare and information on autism burnout: https://autismandhealth.org/ Even if you're not from the US it's worth a read. Autism and burnout, I can't link it but search keywords "autism burnout AASPIRE" and it should be the first result. It has reccomendations and accounts from fellow spectrum people so you know you're not alone.
Here's a UK resource in case relevant people aren't aware of burnout and how to help. https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue/professionals and reccomendations for autistic adults https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/autistic-fatigue/autistic-adults#H2_1
Don't let the internet fool you, many autistic people who are successful today have struggled in the past. I once had a meltdown so bad that I had to go to the psychiatrist the next day, another time my voice just completely gave way because I had exhausted it. Princess Aspien who is known to be a lovely sunshine had to recover from eating disorders and other mental health issues, you're not alone in struggling without the right help and I hope what I shared gave you some ideas. In a world where not many are trained in autism, self help skills are essential.
Connection to community has been really helpful, there's the Autism Aspergers Network if that's of interest to you which offers support groups. They accept people internationally. https://www.aane.org/resources/adults/
Many people on the spectrum are part of the LGBTQ community, you are not alone if you need support.
Sarah Hendrickx's talk on anxiety and autism: https://youtu.be/rPD_yzMHJls
Hope I helped you out, I'm sending you hugs. This COVID time can really do a number, you're not alone in having a hard time, but also know there is still support and people who are doing okay too if that's reassuring.
Here's a cool neurodivergent psychotherapist https://www.parisobdan.co/about yay
Hiya, autistic speech therapy undergraduate here, it's your lucky day, I've got some resources for you!
https://autisticmama.com/ Here's an autistic mama who can help you out and give her perspectives! Awesome you're doing speech therapy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dav8HqMqjbg Autistic mom's perspective on ABA, and an article on its controversy. https://childmind.org/article/controversy-around-applied-behavior-analysis/
UC Davis recently published recommendations for how many hours are enough. https://health.ucdavis.edu/health-news/research/for-toddlers-with-autism-more-intervention-hours-are-not-necessarily-better-/2020/10
Here's an article on stimming from the Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/autism-and-stimming/
There are many SLPs who post youtube videos online about how to support communication skills, Kayla Chalko is one of my favorites, Rachel Madel is another one.
One of my favorite books is this one. https://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Raising-Children-Aspergers-Expanded/dp/1935274066 Another one of my favorite SLPs is Lindsey Hockel https://speechythings.com/ with Andi Putt as a close second. https://www.flowermoundspeech.com/andi-putt
Good to know your son has mild autism, mine is honey barbecue flavor! I know people who are spicy the community can get a bit sassy sometimes but we're working on it. https://www.thearticulateautistic.com/ Jamie A. Heidel has a blog, she's autistic and has talked about the autistic community having an issue with being impolite to parents sometimes, but there are autistic SLPs to bridge the gap. https://leader.pubs.asha.org/do/10.1044/leader.FMP.25102020.8/full/
Hope I gave you some direction, it can be quite the adventure, but welcome!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935274066/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_IkzvFbZ268M2F I loved this book.
I registered a new account just so I could interrupt your speech concerning Autism and Obama.
Obama does NOT view Autism in the same way you do. I write from wiki with linked out articles:
>Ari Ne'eman is an American autism rights activist who founded the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. On December 16, 2009 President Barack Obama announced that Ari Ne'eman would be appointed to the National Council on Disability. Ne'eman has a diagnosis of Asperger syndrome, which would make him the first person with an autistic spectrum disorder to serve on the council. After an anonymous hold was lifted, Ne'eman was unanimously confirmed by the United States Senate to serve on the Council on June 22, 2010.
My kid is Autistic. He is awesome. He isn't a disease or something to be ashamed of that "destroys anything". Way to put a label on a young child:
>helped my family kick the living shit out of a condition that destroys everything from children, to finances, to marriages. It even protected my neighbors property values
What bullshit. My kid knows who and what he is and has love and confidence about himself. There are struggles sure, but i have never made him feel "less than" and THAT is what you are doing.
I can only imagine you have glossed over and see only what you are DETERMINED to see, lest your fucking property value deteriorates. What a cad. He is a child. A whole human being, with rights, feelings and a dignity that you obviously cannot understand.
The information you have been fed about Autism as a disease that needs to be scrubbed away is wrong.
I assume you are getting is from Autism Sp eaks. (assuming can be dumb - but the words you have used point to that direction) They are a top heavy- research only- money hungry- scam. All good advocates stay well away from that organization. Their executives are paid top dollar and ALL money goes to "research for a cure" and "preventative measures". Nothing goes to helping families work with children and adults who are living, loving and working in the real world right now in ALL the various forms of Autism. NONE.
These children are different and amazing in a way you will probably never understand - seeing what you think is important. Why did you even HAVE children? Property values? Sheesh. It's your SON!
There are quite a few Autistic people on Reddit, and proud of who they are. If everyone was the same, the world would be beige. 1 million in a lifetime for ANY child is possible -- and worth every damn penny.
if you are smart and a true parent(please look up the word) you will be brave and try reading some better information.
popard free autism resources and videos
http://www.autisticadvocacy.org/modules/smartsection/category.php?categoryid=8
https://autreach.backpackit.com/pub/1382191
Barbara Coloroso book just for you
Try not to get bitter at me by ignoring/replying nastily - i could care less what you have to say at this point, get reading and become informed. Possibly in a few months we can talk.
Use those forums and understand that Autism doesn't just "poof" vanish because you are rich and paid for early intervention and filled him up with vitamins/starved him of certain foods. Be sensible.
I wish your son luck.