What is Reddit's opinion of
A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive?
From 3.5 billion Reddit comments
By popularity on Reddit, this product is:
26 reviews of this product found across Reddit:
You are making assumptions that all people react the same way, which is not true.
Here is a real story, with several books in the series that cover from an early age to being an adult:
https://www.amazon.com/Child-Called-Childs-Courage-Survive/dp/1558743669
The only thing I can think of is the series of books that David Pelzer wrote about the abuse he suffered growing up. He had a lisp and a stutter and was severely abused by his mother. His first book, A Child Called 'It', was published in 1995 though.
Amazing story of a kid who survived the kind of shit that killed this child. He somehow grew up normal enough to be functional in society, and was even able to write about his experiences. The worst part of the book is where you find out that this WASN'T the WORST case of child abuse that that State had seen....
If you scroll down to the bottom of the Amazon page, you can see the 'customers also bought' section. Someone who bought A Child Called It may also have purchased the book you want.
This is the first method I try when I look for a forgotten book, and it's been helpful.
My all time favorite book is Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World by Haruki Murakami. It is neck and neck with Slapstick by Vonnegut.
Has anyone ever read A Child Called it? If you ever feel like crying, give it a read. It is completely insane, mostly because it is a try story.
Edit: make link work
No such problems with my mother (ever) -- but than again I was raised in an intact family, with my father as the unquestioned (and never challenged nor gainsaid) HEAD of the household.
But... I have no problems believing what you are relating -- neither what she did, or how quickly (protests too much, methinks) she lies about it, nor even how her "hubby" rushes to her defense -- because I saw similar things (and then heard/watched the denial/lies/cover-up) with the mothers of friends/classmates growing up.
And in the years since I've seen, heard, and read of far WORSE ad more egregious female behavior: to with have you ever read a book titled "A Child Called It" by Dave Pelzer -- 'cause we're talking seriously fucked up shit.
Of course -- even though there was MASSIVE evidence of the crap that guy went through (including state CPS documentation of his injuries, medical evidence, photos of bruises, etc) -- there are plenty of people who entirely disbelieve and disparage his story (and no need to tell you, you can guess what types of people they are), and who rush to the defense of his mother, claiming he has to have "made it all up", etc.
Very awful. "A Child Called It"; which is an extremely depressing book I had to read in grade school for some reason. About this kid that was made to be his mom's slave. The only time she was nice to him for a tiny bit was after she accidentally stabbed him (though she didn't take him to the hospital).
>But I am messing with you, using my personal tragedy to make you feel uncomfortable.
Well that's fair as I started this conversation by being a dick.
It is hard to know what to say without being trite, as I don't think my wishes of wellness are going to have any prominent affect on your life. That said, good luck in the future regardless.
You seem to be literate and have a sense of humor. I recommend writing a book about how shitty your life has been. Let me know when it gets published and I'll buy a copy. :)
http://www.amazon.com/Child-Called-Childs-Courage-Survive/dp/1558743669
There is another comment in this thread I want to add to. They basically said that we should start a, teach women not to abuse children campaign. I couldn't agree more.
The, let's play nice and be the bigger person, doesn't work when the opposition has the mentality of petulant children. The MRA movement is currently growing exponentially and it is time we start to capitalize on it by getting this information out into the general public.
Any and every time you hear or see a meme, article, or really anything about how all men do X terrible thing. Respond by pointing out women abuse children far more, and do it relentlessly.
I'm saying this because I see so many comments here saying stuff along the lines of, don't point this out because it is just sinking to their level. Well, their "level" has worked for almost 100 years now. It's time we get on said level, and take the next 100 years, by pointing out things like this, and fighting back by pointing out the existence of toxic femininity. If you hear someone say we need to teach men not to rape. Throw this right back in their face and ask why we shouldn't teach women not to abuse their children.
When I was in high school we read a book called, a child named it. This guy's mom was the reincarnation of evil itself. The sister also sat by and let it happen as she was treated well by the mother. The author came and did a speech at our school. That shit was heartbreaking. She tried to kill him multiple times. One that sticks out the most is where she put him in the bathroom with a bucket full of bleach and ammonia mixed together and made him sit in their for a long time. He has permanent lung damage because of it now, and has trouble breathing.
Here's a link to the story on wiki, and I'll also post the Amazon link so you guys can buy it and support the guy if you would like. It really is an eye opening book. I highly recommend it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Pelzer
Looks like there is a movie now too. I'm sure the word of it didn't yet out because some special interest groups tried to shit it down at every chance they had. Sure that's speculation, but it wouldn't surprise me in the least. https://youtu.be/o3GVIXYWChg
https://www.amazon.com/Child-Called-Childs-Courage-Survive/dp/1558743669
Hey all, Klok here.
I'm really proud of this part. I wrote an early draft that served as the foundation for a total rewrite, which you can read by clicking this link.
However, I knew within a couple of hours that I was on the wrong path. I saw the potential for a series of emotional gut punches and strong character development moments, not only for Kisa, but for Megla, Soren, and the Kessu as well. This newly rewritten part also serves to develop the Thulvik as well by proxy of how she treats her own daughter.
For people who've suffered abusive childhoods, I feel this part will hit especially close to home. I was raised with a violent and abusive mother, someone who berated and insulted me in much the same way Loreen does to Kisa in this story. Now, Loreen is a character in a story, as is the Kessu grandmother. They have characters and arcs; reasons for acting the way they do. Sadly, in real life, people often act illogically and psychopathically for no reason other than "I fucking feel like it."
That was my experience growing up. That's the experience many people have. In today's part, it takes the form of Kisa simply not wanting to hurt people, and not wanting to eat meat. A simple, but effective analogy, in my opinion, for kids who grow up with any number of a range of conditions their abusive parents don't like.
Many kids have grown up hearing things like, "What, are you a queer?" or "What, you play video games because you're a fucking loser?" This isn't normal, and it's certainly not a healthy way to live. It took me many years to 'unteach' myself the childhood lessons I learned. Some people never move past their problems.
There are a lot of subtle moments I put in this part, moments I'm pretty proud of. For example, the way Kisa mentions her mother's psychopathic actions, only to quickly laugh off the pain while blaming herself. Many abuse survivors do this. It's sort of a coping mechanism. We have to learn to be funny, because a bit of humor can de-escalate extremely violent and volatile situations, saving us from physical and mental pain.
Unfortunately, using humor to deal with pain is exactly that; a coping mechanism. Some of us, myself included, never learn how to disentangle humor from pain. I don't know what the solution is, besides therapy. I mostly just feel sad knowing how many kids and teens grow up ever year in horrendous living conditions with people who treat them like garbage.
My final word is, if you're interested in learning more about childhood abuse, I strongly recommend reading this book, "A Child Called 'It'", which I consider to be an excellent example of some of the things abusers do to their kids. Some people have criticized the book for being 'unrealistic,' because who really acts like that? Who would hurt a child like that?
More people than you know. Sometimes, there's no method or reason behind an act of evil. Sometimes, people are just evil for evil's sake.
It's sad.
Read this in school, it was pretty intense.
A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive https://www.amazon.com/dp/1558743669/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_8X4R2TZ1J8DEGDJWXHWQ
| Item | Current | Lowest | Reviews |
|---|---|---|---|
| A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive | - | - | 4.8/5.0 |
^Item Info | Bot Info | Trigger
My husband was hated like you were. Have you ever heard of book called "A child called It"? https://www.amazon.com/Child-Called-Childs-Courage-Survive/dp/1558743669
What happened to you is beyond horrible. Please know that we are with you 110%
> physical abuse is worse than psychological punishment by an order of magnitude.
I've never read anything more absurdly WRONG-HEADED in my entire life. *
Also interesting how you reveal your bias & utter clueless-ness of the problem here; lets just do one very simple "switcheroo" shall we?
>physical punishment is worse than psychological abuse by an order of magnitude
Now how does that sound? Still think it's true?
-- >I'm not a psychologist
That's more or less a given isn't it.
-- >but it doesnt take much to realise that hitting your child will be ingrained permanently in their mind, compared to say, depriving them of video games
I see, so ALL types of "psychological punishment" (or was it "psychological abuse"?) are EXACTLY the same as "depriving [a child] of video games."
BTW how long are you "depriving" them? A week, a month, a year? Permanently? Were the video games simply locked in a cabinet? Were they thrown out in the garbage? Were they "destroyed" in front of the child before being discarded?
Do the games belong to the parents? Or were they the "personal property" of the child? And then how/from where were the games acquired? Did the parents purchase them? Were they "gifts" {extra sentimental value} from some favorite relative? Perhaps there was a divorce or even death of a parent, and the game was a "last gift" from the now absent parent? Alternately, did the child perform work and save to purchase the games? How much work, how much effort did they put in & how long did they need to save to acquire it? (ALL of those things can be very LARGE factors -- especially in the mind of the child.)
-- Do you see -- do you even have the ability to conceive -- that you are "conflating" an entire ARRAY of behaviors, some of them quite ABUSIVE (even arguably VERY "traumatic" in some instances; particularly if it is a permanent loss of personal property that also has significant sentimental value) -- as if they were all equally benign?
Oh, I see, you didn't intend your statement of "depriving them of video games" to include anything like a permanent ban, much less the actual destruction of the game... you would probably even go further and claim that you would never take such a form of "depriving" the child of anything to such an extreme.
But the reality is that there are parents who WILL -- who in fact DO (*) often take things to that extreme (and beyond). And you have just given them "cover" for doing so. You have just categorically declared that ONLY "physical" forms of discipline are "abuse"; and that -- by definition -- "psychological" forms of discipline are merely "punishment"; are "temporary" and non-"traumatic" etc etc etc.
* Your punishment/sentence -- act of contrition & education (EDIT: BTW that's a lame attempt at "humor") -- should be to go get a book titled: "A Child Called It" Get a copy, read it, and then come back and tell me again (if you dare, and I think you won't) that you STILL think any/all forms of "psychological" punishment are always benign, harmless, and non-traumatic, or an "order of magnitude" better than even a slight "swat on the butt." (To be sure the child in question also endured physical punishment AND horrific abuse; but you go and ask him what was WORSE, what was more TRAUMATIC and damaging to him: the physical or the mental, emotional & psychological "punishments" his sadistic mother dealt out.)
-- ** And alas, I know of several different instances of parents who engaged in very ABUSIVE psychological "punishment" of the type you advocate/recommend (just more "extreme" than you think you mean) -- they believed they were "paragons" of moral virtue, since they never even "spanked" their child once (see how PURE they were?) -- no never laid a hand on the child, but they so DAMAGED their child in other ways, were so BRUTAL and "authoritarian" and yes "abusive" in mental, emotional and psychological forms (including the wanton destruction of the child's "personal" property -- almost gleefully/sadistically and all out of proportion to the ostensible "offense" -- the child's crime? Getting a "C" on a report card!)... So much so, that the adult child (on recommendation of therapists) has entirely DISOWNED the parents, cut off ALL contact, permanently. And yet of course that parent still insists that they not only "did nothing wrong" but that they in fact "did everything JUST right" -- exactly how they were supposed to -- why? Because they thoroughly believe (and use as cover) a statement almost identical to your own: that "psychological punishment" is trivial, etc.
You see, just as YOU conflate ALL forms of "physical" discipline with "abuse" -- THEY conflate ALL forms of "psychological" discipline (regardless of hor traumatic or abusive it may be) as "benign" even "beneficial" and... what was your wording, oh yeah "temporary effect" and "clearly positive."
The solution is NOT to lump everything together -- making it "illegal" to say "deprive a child of a video game" -- will NOT solve the problem of the abusive parent anymore than making it "illegal" to "spank" -- ABUSIVE parents will STILL be "abusive"... they will simply move on to some other "games people play" {like <em>"See what YOU made me DO"</em> always a favorite of abusers} and thus some OTHER form of controlling/sadistic and "abusive" behavior (under the "cover" of whatever it is that is then advocated as an "acceptable" method, whether it is "reasoning" {which becomes self-esteem destroying "nagging" & "berating" -- often justified simply by creating a scenario for such via demands for "perfectionist" behaviors, and "perfect" outcomes -- like "all 'A' grades on a report card"}, or "time outs" {which becomes permanent grounding, then permanent confinement to a room, no telephone, no friends, etc}, or "depriving" them of other things {no cookies for you, EVER again; no TV watching; no music; no toys, etc}.)
ABUSIVE people will be ABUSIVE -- under ANY method.
And conversely, REASONABLE people will be REASONABLE -- again under ANY method (including, yes, "spanking" their children only when necessary, and in a manner that is NOT "abusive.")
A Child Called It is one of the most painful reads I have ever done, but it's an amazing story of survival.
I currently have no hang-ups about myself being gay, I'm fairly comfortable with myself in that regard. I also live in the South, but none of my friends have been openly negative about my homosexuality, at least in regards to their religion. One or two have some personal hang-ups ("eww, I could never do that with a dude" as opposed to "eww, you're making God cry"), but it's never been to the point where we've had an argument or even talked about it, it's mostly an understanding that we don't talk about sex, his escapades or mine. Maybe "He/She is hot," but that's about it.
To be honest, the only problem I have is my family's reaction, I couldn't be bothered to give a fuck about anyone else's reaction. My mom recently had a hysterectomy, so she's still dealing with that, on top of life constantly throwing curveballs at her (being laid off after 15 years with Memorial Hermann, having to get a fairly expensive certification in an attempt to jumpstart a new career, my brother constantly disappointing her, the IRS claiming we owe $8000 out of nowhere), I really don't want to poke that hornet's nest. Not now, at least. I'm 21 and still living at home due to lack of funds (I have a job, and I like it, but it doesn't really pay all that well), which is another reason for me not wanting to shake things up too much. When I move out, sure, as long as she's stabilized again. But I can't come out to her before then, it's not fair to her and it's not fair to me.
As for my dad, I'm convinced that nothing good could possibly come from telling him. He's physically abused me in the past (something that hasn't really continued ever since I grew to be around the same size as him), and emotionally abused me to an equal degree. It was never a lot of abuse, it was mostly a swat here or there, whether or not I was misbehaving, but that's not to say it didn't happen. There were several years on the tail-end of the abuse when I would flinch as he would walk past on the off-chance he decided to take his hat off and beat me with it (those metal snaps hurt more than you would think). As for the emotional part, he would constantly call me stupid, insult me when I had friends over and coerce them into ganging up on me with his insults, stupid shit like that. I really do resent him, but that's not totally relevant here.
Nowadays, we mostly just "jokingly" insult each other, and we measure success based on the comedic value of our interaction. Honestly, I don't think it's a healthy relationship, but I would take this over how it used to be. I read this book when I was younger, and drew some strong parallels between myself and the author, so call it what you will.
P.S. Ninja Edit: I kind of went on a tangent here, I didn't really mean to lay all of that on you, but I guess at the time what you said kind of flared that up inside of me, so... sorry :(
I'm in my fourth year of a clinical psychology doctoral program, training to be a therapist.
How did your therapists try to treat your "symptoms"? That is, what kinds of things did they say to you or ask you to do? I ask this because when I read "...will quickly shift the focus from dealing with my past to treating symptoms of the disorder that therapist has diagnosed me with," my immediate thought was "They were all CBT therapists"--bad ones, unfortunately. DBT is indeed considered to fall under the CBT umbrella. The "pre-fabricated lesson plans" are known as manualized treatments and are most often associated with CBT (although other types of therapy sometimes use manuals too).
That said, CBT doesn't need to be so rigid. What country do you live in, and what is your health insurance like? What settings did the therapists work in (private practice, college counseling center, hospital, etc.)? Some of these systems encourage the diagnosis-based, symptom-focused, manualized approach because it resembles medical treatment, tends to be brief, and is allegedly scientific (somewhat true, but it's complicated).
If you believe you might benefit from a one-on-one version of DBT, by all means seek out a CBT therapist. I'm not bashing it in any way; it's very effective for many people. Tell them up front about your previous treatment experiences and what you are looking for in therapy. If the therapist won't work with you, find someone else.
If you don't get any traction with CBT, there are other choices. Client-centered therapy, psychodynamic/relational therapy, and critical psychology approaches are all very good options. I'm going to tell you a little secret: specific therapy techniques only account for 10% of therapeutic outcome. The quality of the therapeutic relationship contributes 35%, "client factors" (e.g. motivation) contribute 40%, and the placebo effect contributes 15%. (We just went over this in class today, so the numbers are fresh in my mind!) Look up the common factors hypothesis if you want to know more.
Sorry for the wall of text. I hope at least some of this info was useful. You suffered unimaginable abuse. "I'm so sorry" doesn't begin to cover it. Not since A Child Called "It" have I read anything like this. I'm just as sorry that your previous therapists did not help you.
I wish there was a hell for people like this. This reminds me of A Child Called It
I don’t know what your native language is, but in English you don’t call people “it” unless a specific person has specifically requested it. Maybe read A Child Called “It” and you’ll start to understand why it’s degrading and dehumanizing to refer to a person as “it”.
The request was for an "unbelievable story" that showcased a bit of the craziness of my life. I chose a happier tale, that still fit the bill.
I said multiple times I wasn't comfortable sharing the worst of it here, and no amount of fishing or cajoling on reddit's part is going to change that.
Sorry, but if you're that curious about the sorts of things adults can do to little children, may I recommend a book?
He was even in the same states' system as I was. His tale would satisfy your morbid curiosity, I've no doubt, and it shares similar themes to mine.
If you haven't read it, and in the same vein as this, I HIGHLY recommend reading A Boy Called It. It's heart wrenching but amazing.
You're not automatically entitled to free tuition. You can figure out a way to pay for school on your own or become a bitter loser. Your brother took advantage of your parents and they're not willing to let it happen again. Are you going to prove them right or wrong? If you're so smart, get some scholarships and go to a state college.
If you think this is being "treated like shit" you need some fucking perspective. Read this.
Popular alternatives to A Child Called It: One Chil...
The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
