What is Reddit's opinion of
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Oprah's Book Club, Selection 61)?
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Let people who want to be miserable be miserable. You can't charm or argue them into being content or happy. You can gift them an Ekhart Tolle book for Christmas, but that's about it.
Try to let go of your feeling of responsibility over her and her family's enjoyment of the holiday. You did nothing wrong, and you are not responsible to pay for last years "sins" for the rest of your life. Talk with your spouse about what you guys want to do this year, and if it doesn't involve them, that's fine
Hey, I'm not that person, but A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle was a game-changer for me.
Basically we get so locked into our obsession with the past and the future that we almost always forget about the present. And when you think about it, the present is always the only moment that you ever live in. We can't live in the past and the future never comes, it's just a succession of present moments. So make the best of the present for a better future you.
Awesome self-awareness and an important first step toward greater overall peace and contentment. But you probably don't have to look anywhere for happiness, though growth and change are likely to be part of the process. I enjoyed A New Earth and it was a very popular framing of the sort of inner work that goes into overcoming many of our misconceptions about who we are and what's really important. All the best with your process!
Please text 741741 crisis text line. You will have someone to talk to in real time over text. There are millions of people who feel like you do. You are not as alone as you think.
Edit: try this book as well. It can make a huge difference. So can similar books. Knowledge is power.
In addition to everyone's recommendations here, as an additional tool I highly recommend picking up one of Eckhart Tolle's books
This book is not a bunch of "spiritual mumbo jumbo". It contains tons of practical advice that we all can use. If it carries more weight with you, Oprah considers Eckhart's book one of the 10 favorite books from the last decade.
Kysy helvetin hyviä kysymyksiä! Pistää ihan mietityttään.
> Ovatko siis myös tietoisuudesta tulleet ideologiat haitallisia ihmiselle? Voiko tietoisuus luoda ihmiselle hyödyllistä ideologiaa?
Periaatteessa ovat. Buddhalaisuus ja hindulaisuus johdattelevat tietoisuuden heräämiseen. Ne eivät ole uskontoja samalla tavalla kuin Abrahamilaiset uskonnot. Mutta tietoisuuteen johdattelevat ideologiat voivat myös olla haitallisia, jos ne eivät onnistu toteuttamaan tehtäväänsä. Joku ihminen, joka on tässä epäonnistunut saattaisi ajatella "minä olen buddhalainen, olen parempi kuin tyhmät kristityt". Tosi kärjistetty ja ei varmaan kukaan näin tietoisesti ajattelisi, mutta pointti on validi.
Sanoin aikaisemmin että tietoisuus ja ideologia ovat vastakohtia. Se on ehkä vähän väärin sanottu. Tietoisuus on ideologian puute tai puutos. Ajatellaan verraten: tietoisuus on kaunis maisema, ideologia on valokuva maisemasta. Joskus se kuva on todella vääristynyt ja vääristetty ja ruma. Jo mainitut buddhalaisuus ja hindulaisuus ovat erittäin lähellä totuutta.
>Onko mahdollista erottaa onko kielellisesti tuotettu tieto lähtöisin ideologiasta tai tietoisuudesta?
Kirjoitukset, sanat ja ajatukset voivat vain osoittaa tietoisuuden suuntaan ja ohjata mieltä heräämään tietoisuuteen, mutta kuten jo sanoin eivät voi olla sitä itseään.
Jos sua oikeesti kiinnostaa tämmöset hommat niin mää suosittelisin sua lukemaan kirjan.
This is going to sound like someone parachuting in to drop a quick nugget of info and bailing, but it's not meant to be that. This book REALLY helped me deal with my anxiety attacks and the way I thought about myself. I highly recommend it:
https://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/dp/0452289963
Absolutely. No human is worthless, and it is only in the dimension of the ego that one can feel good or bad about themselves in light of past happenings.
I recommend you read A new earth by Eckarth Tolle and learn more about the ego - and in that way learning to unidentify with your past actions and the guilt that came with it.
No human is perfect, and it is our flaws that make us beautiful. Really. We've all made mistakes friend, but it is our intention that is important. Remember all the good things you've done, you're only human.
All religions do their best to point to that which cannot be reduced to words. My own recommendation would be to start with a book that recognizes this truth.
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose https://www.amazon.com/dp/0452289963/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_O9oZub0JMM215
This book is great for understanding more about yourself. Basically, it is about the ego. There is part describing the workings of the ego and part pointing to the remedy. Essentially it says that everybody's purpose in life is to live in the present moment as much as they can.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Trust Issues: Why Is It So Hard for Some People to Trust?
There are numerous aversive childhood experiences that contribute to children's mistrust and lack of confidence. For example, parents' inconsistent responses or their failure to deliver on their promises create insecurity and distrust in their children. Parent's frightening outbursts of rage can shatter a child's trust in a predictable world.
Best articles I could find on how to address trust issues:
- 7 Signs Of Trust Issues + 11 Ways To Get Over Them
- Working through trust issues can feel like walking on broken glass. You just know you're going to bleed.
Letting go, regardless, requires one thing above all: Taking the risk of being hurt.
The process looks something like this:
- Be willing to risk the pain of learning to trust.
- Find a trust partner (a therapist or coach can work, if they understand trust issues).
- Learn how trust works (how it is earned and how to extend it).
- Take emotional risks with your trust partner.
- Confront your trust prejudice, suspicions, fears and painful feelings around trust as you take calculated risks.
- Learn from the process, rinse and repeat until you can consciously trust and know how to extend trust well.
The best videos on dealing with trust issues:
- How to Deal With Trust Issues (5min)
- 3 Ways To Overcome Trust Issues (9min)
- How To Rebuild Lost Trust In A Relationship (11min)
Best book:
The Courage to Trust: A Guide to Building Deep and Lasting Relationships
There is a small group of people (that generally deal with anxiety issues as well as trust issues), that will have an above average amount of trouble trusting others. These are people with avoidant personalities. Generally this is a lifelong issue that starts in early childhood.
Test for avoidant personality disorder. Let me know if you scored over 34 and I'll give you additional (self help) resources.
You learn from your mistakes and you move on. If you can't do that, you lack control over your mind. If you lack control over your mind, start meditating.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
>Seems trivial, but I tend to miss words when I write and Idk how to fix it.
I do it all the time. It's because I write so much in my case. I also swap in completely wrong words on occasion. I just do a proper check of what I wrote. It's fine. In return for that reduced accuracy, I can type faster and then I get to review my thoughts when I read what I wrote. It's a good habit.
>I’m also a little concerned if this is part of a bigger issue... Because I also mess up basic math sometimes ie 3/3=0.
Reading? Or in your head? Because when I read that I made the same mistake, lol. But in my head, I would never make that mistake. I just use calculators most of the time. I'm quite clever, you know. I just sacrifice accuracy for speed.
If it is really important, I can slow down my mind. It's just that most of the time it doesn't matter. If you can't slow down your mind when needed, well then you should probably start meditating. That way you can get control over that.
I think what you described is probably (one of the) symptoms of ADHD, by the way (and I do have that somewhat). But meditation should work for that, regardless of the cause.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
It's called suicidal ideation.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideation
It's not always related to actually wanting to die, but it can be tricky to figure out why you're dealing with it. Sometimes it's because of underlying depression, sometimes it's because of OCD related obsessive thoughts.
If you just straight up want to skip to fixing it, the easiest way is to start meditating. That will give you the ability to push unwanted thoughts out of your mind. And if you fail to do so even after meditating for a few months, you should start looking into OCD specific meditations.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
/u/Whoever-You-Are
I like Eckhart Tolle as well.
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
There are many levels of awareness and self awareness.
They are build on knowledge and self knowledge.
There isn't one way, there are many ways. I can give you one of the ways.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
- Phone Apps(optionally): Two popular free apps commonly used that helps fighting depressions, are Wysa and MoodTools. These will track your mood, give you advice or even listen to your problems. The most popular meditation app is: Calm - Meditate, Sleep, Relax
If you are not interested in trying to solve your issues using the medical approach, you could give the book "A New Earth" a try. It basically teaches you to distantiating the observer in you from your inner voice, to realize how that inner voice is the one causing you all sorts of trouble and to try and silence it. It's a book that draws from various spiritual and religious sources, without promoting any of these actively. A New Earth, by (the already previously mentioned) Eckhart Tolle. On Amazon the book has over 5000 ratings, with an average of 4.5 Stars. PDF
Another (more expensive) approach that is also frequently mentioned as a fix for treatment resistant depression, is an ayahuasca retreat (do your own research, there's a couple different entities that provide it).
Free support options:
- /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you.
- 7 Cups of Tea has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option
- If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to 741741
There are several active subreddits, where you can post any additional questions you have:
- /r/depression/ (the biggest)
- /r/depression_help/ (the most helpful, also has a discord)
- /r/depressed/ (read the top pinned at some point)
>I seem to be going through fazes, sometimes I have no confidence in myself and think about suicide and a few hours later feel confident
Hopefully that stabilizes as you get older.
If it doesn't it's an indication you've got some work on your mental health ahead of you.
Most people have a stabilized sense of self (so even if things don't go as planned, they have confidence they can do it), but that's something that can break (especially if you experienced abuse when you were between the ages of 3 and 10 or so).
And then those thoughts of suicide, that's called suicidal ideation:
https://www.verywellmind.com/suicidal-ideation-380609
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicidal_ideation
So keep an eye on that. If you still with that when you're in your early 20s, it's time to go to a therapist, because you've got to make some repairs.
You can also try meditation, to gain a better control over your attention (and then use that to stop thoughts related to suicidal ideation, it won't fix the bigger problems, but it can avoid you destabilizing further).
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
- Who Is the Buddha?
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Alright. No clue then. I know it's your attention going out of control.
Like when I read this, I suddenly start noticing my own swallowing (and I knew that would happen already, because this isn't the first time I've read about someone with an intense focus on their swallowing).
You can do the same thing with your breathing, or the air going through your nose, or your knees when you walk.
Just start focusing on a body part and it's going to misbehave in some way, that's how your mind works. And forcing yourself NOT to think something, makes you think it even more (that's screwed up some religious leaders in the past). The trick is to just... Stop thinking.
You could try meditation to learn how to do that.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
- Who Is the Buddha?
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
It is precisely the darkness in life that leaves the spirit open for connection. I come from a very troubled background and experience the worst possible type of living. When I finally woke up and realized it was my responsibility to maintain my reactions towards life. The destruction, hurt, and pain I caused others were not their fault, regardless of how victimized I perceived myself to be; it was my responsibility to not create wreckage as it was only poisoning my soul.
Coming from the experience of darkness, it made the light so much more meaningful and important. I will not pretend that it is easy to take the path towards working on your inner self. If that was the case, we would live in a world where people were in tune with themselves, and that is simply not the world we live in.
United States version of Yoga is not true Yoga; it's more of a capitalist imitation that poorly resembles that true practice. Grab a copy of Eckhart Tolle, any book he's written (I recommend New Earth) and listen to a lecture done by Sadhguru. Begin throwing some mindful practice into your life and focus on the here and now. If you don't begin developing a deeper connection with your true self in a couple of months, your misery can always be refunded.
We exist in this life and while it may not always be perceived as a perfect existence, it is what it is. We can sit and attempt to control the things that are out of our power, or we can become focused on the things we do have control of; our reactions, our emotional state, the way in which we conduct ourselves in our lives. Even our most painful moments that we experience while we breathe are still better than no existence at all. There are eons of time we have to spend not of this world, so while we're here why not attempt to experience the magic in each moment.
"Do not simply bear what is necessary, but learn to love it"
"Be a lamp unto yourself"
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
"Each moment we exist, we have the option for madness or serenity; which will you choose?"
Check out the recent Jordan Peterson podcast with Sam Harris. Harris does a great way articulating the experience of mindfulness meditation. I have heard many articulations, and his is fairly solid at conveying what it's like to have a spiritual experience.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prt9D90BvFI Sam Harris & Jordan Peterson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WLxoKnOZ48 Sadhguru
https://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/dp/0452289963 Eckhart Tolle - New Earth
The underlying issue is a lack of control over your attention. If I don't want to think about something negative, I don't think about something negative. If you don't want to think about something negative, you don't know how to do that and you keep thinking about something negative.
Meditation and exercise routines are the key to unlocking that skill. You have to build that control over time. Making sure you sleep enough also is important, since you have more control if you're well rested.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
- Who Is the Buddha?
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
It's always nice to find another human who has suffered from religious trauma. Easily the most difficult and beautiful thing I've experienced; ever.
Your live today 11-Jan-2022, helped me smile. You're a good soul. You deserve whatever level of happiness your heart needs. You can control that.
If you haven't read it yet, or have...read it again. Two book series by Author Eckart Tolle. Message me a PO box and I'll send you copies if you'd like. The books are: "A New Earth" and "The Power of Now". I recommend them on Audible as the author reads them. You get a better sense of the meaning of the word he originally wrote.
Every day you miss millions of opportunities. Even the most successful person will have missed trillions of opportunity by the time they die.
If you don't know how to deal with that, odds are you've got problems controlling your mind in general.
And that's just a recipe for disaster. Because then you might end up with anxiety, OCD, you might end up cheating on your partner, who knows what else.
And that you can fortunately do something about with mindfulness training.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
- Who Is the Buddha?
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
All control is merely an illusion. If you learn to accept that, you just increased your own maturity by at least 5 years.
And meditation can definitely help with that, as does studying philosophy, primarily Camus, Jung and Nietzsche (Camus being the easiest to grasp, Nietzsche the hardest).
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
- Who Is the Buddha?
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
This one really clicked for me: https://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/dp/0452289963
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Well, I have the basics and then I know where you can ask more advanced questions:
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
| Item | Current | Lowest | Reviews |
|---|---|---|---|
| A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Op… | - | - | 4.6/5.0 |
| The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming… | - | - | 4.8/5.0 |
| Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy… | - | - | 4.5/5.0 |
^Item Info | Bot Info | Trigger
| Item | Current | Lowest | Reviews |
|---|---|---|---|
| A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Op… | - | - | 4.6/5.0 |
| The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming… | - | - | 4.8/5.0 |
| Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy… | - | - | 4.5/5.0 |
^Item Info | Bot Info | Trigger
| Item | Current | Lowest | Reviews |
|---|---|---|---|
| A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Op… | - | - | 4.6/5.0 |
| The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming… | - | - | 4.8/5.0 |
| Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy… | - | - | 4.5/5.0 |
^Item Info | Bot Info | Trigger
>thanks but I can't make my own choices.
Then just throw a dice and then just do what the dice tells you to do.
Some things in life are simple.
If you can't make your own choices, then let randomness decide. Beats doing nothing and going back and forth without conclusion.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
| Item | Current | Lowest | Reviews |
|---|---|---|---|
| A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Op… | - | - | 4.6/5.0 |
| The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming… | - | - | 4.8/5.0 |
| Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy… | - | - | 4.5/5.0 |
^Item Info | Bot Info | Trigger
| Item | Current | Lowest | Reviews |
|---|---|---|---|
| A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Op… | - | - | 4.6/5.0 |
| The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming… | - | - | 4.8/5.0 |
| Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy… | - | - | 4.5/5.0 |
^Item Info | Bot Info | Trigger
>But I should stop thinking I’m a narcissist probably.
Just watch out that you don't fall into a pattern of reassurance seeking.
Because if you start doing that, you will make your own anxiety worse over time.
People with high anxiety or OCD frequently ask for reassurance. This is negative behavior that should be stopped. The problem is that by seeking reassurance, you reinforce that you are unable to tolerate the discomfort of the uncertainty and you reinforce that you can fix this by asking. This will make your anxiety worse over time.
- Reassurance Seeking in OCD and Anxiety
- Distinguishing Information-Seeking and Reassurance Seeking (PDF)
> The reason I’m obsessed with knowing
Beyond that, just start meditating. The real problem is lack of control over your thoughts.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Awesome. Also start meditating. You're going to benefit from increasing the control over your brain, use this opportunity to fuel your self improvement.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
| Item | Current | Lowest | Reviews |
|---|---|---|---|
| A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose (Op… | - | - | 4.6/5.0 |
| The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming… | - | - | 4.8/5.0 |
| Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy… | - | - | 4.5/5.0 |
^Item Info | Bot Info | Trigger
Like what? It's repeating again and again in your head? There are techniques to deal with that. Mostly meditation and the like.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
There is software that can limit the time you do it and you can use meditation to strengthen your willpower.
- Freedom. For $2.50 a month, Freedom will block all social media sites on all your devices during hours you specify.
- StayFocusd is a chrome extension with over 500.000 users, that lets you set time limits per site.
- leechblock is a similar firefox extension.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
meditation, pretty much.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
I don't think that's anger, that's resentment.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Alright, I don't think you have much to worry about based on those numbers.
If it really bothers you a lot, start meditating. With meditation you strengthen the control you have over your thoughts and you can stop thinking things you don't like to think.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
You can fix that with meditation.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Well, it is true, isn't it? If you just let the depression control you, life is a lot easier.
I think it might be anxiety related thoughts you're dealing with. Fear of failure, to be more specific.
In life, the better we are at controlling our negative emotions, the more likely it is we'll succeed in whatever we pursue.
You're simply moving up in mental health problems. From low (depressed, immobile) to active, fearful. Now you've got to beat this stage as well (and then the next one will come eventually). Life's a successive set of hurdles to overcome, for you, for me and everyone else.
I think the best you can do is the same things you do to keep the depression away. Good sleep, exercise, meditate. Unless you get stuck in this phase and then there's only on answer and that's therapy.
I'll give you some additional spiritual advice.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
I think what is meant here is doing it mindfully. And that you can improve with meditation.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Pretty much normal at this point. It'll go away eventually. If it bothers you a lot the best you can do is start meditating.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
It's different for everyone? Sometimes it stops at 17, sometimes at 18 or 19. Sometimes it doesn't stop and becomes a personality disorder (but that's not common and generally no one will even look at you unless you're over 18, because most kids your age have these issues).
If you really want to do something about it now, by yourself, then the easiest/most effective way is probably going to be meditation/spiritual development (meditation will increase the control you have over your mind, so you'll still feel the emotions, but you'll be better at keeping them in).
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Is that all? Alright. I can give you that.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Some parts will be on hold, while the pandemic plays out, but most likely you'll be busy anyway for a couple of months fixing yourself up, so start with that.
So you want to make new friends and you don't know how. I'll break it down into it's individual aspects and then I'll tell you how to approach each aspect individually. It comes down to:
Why, Who, When, How and Where
Why Let's make sure you know why you want friends. Sure, it's for the social contact, but it doesn't stop there. You will want friends that are there for you when you are in a time of need, not friends that will drop you at the first sign of trouble.
Who The first thing to understand is that most people like like-minded people. If you're a single male, you are more likely to like and become friends with other single males, etc. There's generally no such thing as opposites attract when it comes to new friendships (it is possible, it just becomes a lot more complicated and you have to worry about motives). So to keep things simple and maximize your odds of success, if you're a single female, you look for single females and if you're a couple, you look for other couples, etc. You are most likely to become friends with people that more or less share your socioeconomic background. You will want friends that don't drag you down, that are emotionally reasonably stable and are empathic.
When If you understand the like-mindedness aspect of friendship, then you probably also understand that if you're mentally damaged or an addict, that you're more likely to become friends with like-minded people and if you're mentally in a good state, you're more likely to get friends that are equally in healthy state.
So first you have to make sure you are reasonably mentally stable. If you are dealing with depression, anxiety or self esteem issues, let me know, and I'll give you advice on how to deal with that. If you're currently addicted, it would be better to fix that now and then look for friends, that way you can avoid a negative reinforcement cycle later. This goes for any serious character flaws. In order to make and keep friends, these need to be addressed first. If you don't do that first, you'll only make friends that will drag you down or that you won't be able to keep for very long. In order to have good friends, you need to be a good friend.
If you are not sure you have a problem (but you might), here are a few tests you can take:
- Depression. Answer how you've felt in the last week.
- Low Self Esteem
- General Anxiety. you should fill out how you've felt in the last month.
- Social Anxiety.
Each test takes about 2 to 3 minutes to complete, let me know if you scored high (or low in the case of the self esteem test) on any of these and I'll give you specific advice on how to address that first, before you work on making new friends.
How If you were good at making friends, well then you would have them. But you are asking for them, so you probably don't know how to make them. A good book on this topic was written about 100 years ago and it's called "How to win Friends & Influence People" (Audiobook on Youtube). Then it would be helpful if you could practice walking up to strangers and talking to them, so you can see what approach works for you and what doesn't work. Obviously such a thing doesn't exist. However, there is something that's very close to it (and it's also a great source to find good friends) and that's Toastmasters. You might think, "what does public speaking have to do with friendships?" Well, they'll train you into talking to people you don't know, they'll teach you ad hoc speaking and they'll give you feedback if you have body posture, eye contact or other non-verbal communication issues. On top of that there are clubs pretty much very where, it's cheap and free to visit the first few times.
Make sure both you and your clothes are clean, that you don't have ongoing dental issues and cut your hair at least once every 8 weeks.
In addition to that, reddit has several safe spaces, where you can practice friendly chitchat and maybe even make friends:
- /r/socialskills (read the sidebar, it has a lot of good advice)
- /r/MakeNewFriendsHere
- /r/CasualConversation
Where This will depend on who you are. Since you want like-minded friends (because those are more likely to like you as well as more likely to be long time friends), you will need to find people that are similar to you. So I'll give you three methods:
- Join a hobby club
- Take a community college class in a topic you like
- Sports
- Social Media
- Meetup.com
I understand that most of these cost some money. And you might not have that, but I'll explain to you why that's required. It's not going to be in your interest to have friends that are broke. They'll just pull you down or ask you for money. By finding friends at an activity that has a financial barrier to entry, you will make it much less likely that you'll end up with the wrong kind of friend.
If you are currently enrolled in a college or university, you have access to an additional source. You could go to your school's website and search for "Student Clubs". Review the available clubs to see if there are any that have your interest. Here is a guide on student clubs. I'm a little hesitant to recommend this, because this solution does not work for everyone. Because anyone can join, there is a low bar of entry and the clubs often are not professionally managed, which will lower the quality of participants. That said, if you are in school, financially and transportationally restricted, it could be your only viable option. It's better than nothing.
Join a hobby club If you are a couple and like dancing, then join a local dance club. If you're into remote controlled cars, join an RC club. If you like horses, go horse riding. If you're into martial arts, join a fight club.
Community College Most community colleges have evening classes (without credits) on a wide range of topics. There will be classes in for example Photography, Painting and Music. Finding these can be tricky. Search for "Name of College Community Education" and you can often find a catalog online. This is where you'll be able to find like-minded people that will enjoy doing what you like to do.
You'll have plenty of time to get to know the people you meet in college, so there's no rush to initiate a friendship, just enjoy the class and by the time you get to the end of the class you can always give your contact information to someone you like. Additionally you'll automatically have things you can do together that you know both of you will enjoy.
Sports This one's fairly obvious. If you happen to like some kind of sport (or want to learn how to defend yourself), there's most likely a dojo or training field nearby that will teach you how to do it. This is a good place to find like minded people. Just go to Google Maps and type the name of the sport, to find nearby facilities.
(cont.)
Brotha I really really suggest you purchase these books. I think they will help guide you tremendously.
Things Nobody Else Can Teach Us by Humble the Poet
Currently reading Awareness and this passage from it yesterday really hit and I think it’ll resonate:
“You don’t have to do anything to acquire happiness. The great Meister Eckhart said very beautifully, “God is not attained by a process of addition to anything in the soul, but by a process of subtraction.” You don’t do anything to be free, you drop something. Then you’re free.
It reminds me of the Irish prisoner who dug a tunnel under the prison wall and managed to escape. He comes out right in the middle of a school playground where little children are playing. Of course, when he emerges from the tunnel he can’t restrain himself anymore and begins to jump up and down, crying, “I’m free, I’m free, I’m free!” A little girl there looks at him scornfully and says, “That’s nothing. I’m four.”
The fourth step: How do you change things? How do you change yourselves? There are many things you must understand here, or rather, just one thing that can be expressed in many ways. Imagine a patient who goes to a doctor and tells him what he is suffering from. The doctor says, “Very well, I’ve understood your symptoms. Do you know what I will do? I will prescribe a medicine for your neighbor!” The patient replies, “Thank you very much, Doctor, that makes me feel much better.” Isn’t that absurd? But that’s what we all do. The person who is asleep always thinks he’ll feel better if somebody else changes. You’re suffering because you are asleep, but you’re thinking, “How wonderful life would be if somebody else would change; how wonderful life would be if my neighbor changed, my wife changed, my boss changed.”
We always want someone else to change so that we will feel good. But has it ever struck you that even if your wife changes or your husband changes, what does that do to you? You’re just as vulnerable as before; you’re just as idiotic as before; you’re just as asleep as before. You are the one who needs to change, who needs to take medicine. You keep insisting, “I feel good because the world is right.” Wrong! The world is right because I feel good. That’s what all the mystics are saying.”
Much love man
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
I think it's a good idea for you to start meditating and maybe come up with a different strategy to resolve your thoughts.
Because now we have two examples of you basically having irrational worries.
The exposure therapy will help (and you using that again and again anytime you pick up another "weird" habit). Then it's mainly a matter of doing your research, coming to a conclusion and then suppressing any further worry.
Because to me it sounds like you're going in the direction of anxiety/OCD. Now, I might be wrong with that assumption, but meditation (especially once you've gotten the hang of it), really doesn't take a lot of time and it's known to have absolutely massive positive benefits and specifically when dealing with unwanted thoughts.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Phone Apps: Depression: Wysa and MoodTools. Meditation: Calm - Meditate, Sleep, Relax
If you are not interested in trying to solve your issues using the medical approach, you could give the book "A New Earth" a try. It basically teaches you to distantiating the observer in you from your inner voice, to realize how that inner voice is the one causing you all sorts of trouble and to try and silence it. It's a book that draws from various spiritual and religious sources, without promoting any of these actively. A New Earth, by (the already previously mentioned) Eckhart Tolle. On Amazon the book has over 5000 ratings, with an average of 4.5 Stars. PDF
Another (more expensive) approach that is also frequently mentioned as a fix for treatment resistant depression, is an ayahuasca retreat (do your own research, there's a couple different entities that provide it).
As you understand, the traditional approach has failed on you. So now it's expected that you'll have to take a more active role in your healing process. No one will care as much about you and will be able and willing to invest as much time in you as you can. And it's likely that a lot of time is needed.
There are several mental health disorders that are known to untreatable with therapy.
So if medication doesn't work for you for some reason and you have a personality disorder that hides from the therapist, then you're also not going to be cured ever.
I don't know all personality disorders that will do that, but I'll list two common ones (that are known to cause depression):
If you have either of these, then you're basically on your own, you'll have to figure it out yourself
And that's not the full list either. So if these don't apply to you, you'll have to do your own research and see if you can find any other personality disorder that's therapy resistant.
I do have tests for the two I listed:
Let me know if you scored over 20 on the first test
Let me know if you scored over 28 on the second test
Free support options:
- /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you.
- 7 Cups of Tea has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option
- If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to 741741
There are several active subreddits, where you can post any additional questions you have:
- /r/depression/ (the biggest)
- /r/depression_help/ (the most helpful, also has a discord)
- /r/depressed/ (read the top pinned at some point)
Three possible ways:
Use those thought to become better at your job faster, by spending some free time improving your job skills (but specifically with the aim to improve your resume and your future career chances, not to help the boss).
Work on your own projects, so you're too busy to worry about work.
Meditate to increase the control you have over your thoughts.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Lack of self control, I assume. I at least can't really come up with an alternative explanation. And that's fixed by increasing your mindfulness.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
At some point you have to start exercising control over your unconsciousness (it's your unconsciousness going wild and you, your consciousness just doesn't bother controlling that, it can with practice). It's not too uncommon for someone at 16 to not have mastered that. If you want to improve it, start exercising and meditating.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
>I have no autism.
Ah. So it's OCD then?
You're really selective in your understanding. It's hard to make someone understand that they are self deceiving, because most of the time, they will ignore anyone that points out self deception. You want to believe what you believe. Nothing I can say can change that, until you allow yourself to understand others.
I'll try a bit, maybe you can see what you are doing:
>>You're supposed to be making babies at some point, you know? No woman's going to want to be around self victimizing nobody. They are shitty dads
> I don't want kids so being a father is irrelevant.
See what is happening there? I am telling you that from the perspective of both natural selection and the perspective of women, who control that aspect of reproduction (and have generally been in control for hundreds of thousands of years, with the exception of some very oppressive societies), that you need to be a stable and qualified partner, able to raise offspring.
What you want has nothing to do with it. It was never relevant. You can't overrule natural selection. You'll have to comply. And I know you've got problems with accepting that powerlessness.
>This study found 2/3 women consider a man under 5'8" unacceptably short in their own words
There's still 1/3 left. You only need 1 woman. 1/3 is what? Roughly 1,000,000,000 women? You're trying to convince me that your height is a problem, because only 1,000,000,000 women are potentially interested in you due to your height?
What about the women that don't want your eye color? Or your skin color? Or your hair color? What about the women that don't want your smell? Why aren't you talking about them?
Why are you talking only about the 2/3 that care about your height? That's BDD buddy. You clearly have mental health issues, but instead of fixing those, you just say "it's my height! I'm done! Can't fix it!"
- 23 Signs You're Suffering From a Victim Mentality
- The 10 Warning Signs of Having a Victim Mentality
5 Ways To Lose The Victim Mindset - 5 Ways to Recognize It (Youtube)
Dealing with obsessive thought:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-minute-shrink/201006/taming-obsessive-thoughts
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/get-out-your-mind/201905/how-deal-obsessive-thoughts
http://www.drmayatherapy.com/7-coping-strategies-for-overcoming-obsessive-thoughts/
BDD:
This test checks for body dysmorphic disorder symptoms
But seriously. Go to therapy. This isn't good for you. Or just start meditating, you know? That by itself is probably going to fix 50% of your issues, just increasing the control you have over you thoughts.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Alcohol lowers your inhibitions.
Seems like the consensus is that it's related to (social) anxiety and that you can use meditation to reduce it.
Here's a two minute test to check if you have social anxiety issues and not something else (results will be visible right away). Let me know if you score over 50.
https://www.wikihow.com/Lose-Your-Inhibitions
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
>I know the answers are obvious - sleep earlier, eat healthy, drink water, exercise but it's really hard to do when you already feel down. My question is how do I get the initial motivation to do this? Are there any other things I could try?
I use repeating alarms on my phone. Then it's a matter of bargaining with yourself and getting in the habit of not fucking yourself over by ignoring your own alarms (so if you really don't want to do it now, press snooze or set another alarm. Don't turn the alarm off and don't do it).
It's a matter of habit forming. The more you've done that, the better you get at it (the habit forming itself, I mean). If you always just let yourself flutter and do whatever, it's harder initially.
The one big thing that's missing from your list is meditation, that will increase resolve and willpower.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Well if it's not ADHD, it's just practice (that said... brainfog can be fixed with ADHD medication... I'm using a particular medication myself to stay sharp)
If you constantly do quick gratification things (5 minute on the phone, Facebook, netflix, hulu, disney, etc), your brain wants that quick easy dopamine hit. It's not going to like to work. If you slowly start building up your attention span, it will improve.
Modafinil can be ordered from overseas without much risk (alternatively, you could also ask your doctor to prescribe it to you). The benefit is that it is a lot more subtle than other ADHD medications and is not addictive. If you want to go this route, do your own research because there are risks. Medication should be prescribed by a licensed doctor, because they know those risks, by doing it yourself, you assume the risks of medicating yourself. There are subreddits that will tell you where to find Modafinil suppliers (just search for modafinil and reddit), but I can't (and don't want to) vouch for any specific reseller. This might also be technically against the laws in your country (though not all countries enforce these laws against Modafinil or other non-addictive medication). You can find more information on /r/Nootropics/. Gwern also has a well documented page on it.
I suggest you set repeating alarms for the below.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Eh that's fine. We ruled it out. That means I am not really certain as to what causes it in your case, but I can give you some ideas on how to address, that might just work.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Take 5 minutes every day to practice gratitude.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
>There is a positive side to it, bit mostly It's extremely exhausting and frustrating.
It's an evolutionary adaptation. If you harness it properly, you can become a very special human being. If you fail to use it properly, you'll fail in life in general.
It's like when you're a cowboy and you get a horse. Most people they get a fairly tame horse, they get on it and they can ride just fine. But a few will get this majestic stallion that will resist any attempt at being tamed. But if you do manage to tame that horse? You'll be faster than anyone out there.
Don't try to fight or hurt your horse. If you damage your horse, it'll become slower and easier to manage, but it'll hate you.
You need to find ways to tame it and then ride with it. It's your best asset.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Here's how to improve your sleep:
Set repeating alarms for when it's your bed time, so you don't go to bed too late (latest android OS has this feature build in nowadays). If you've tried this, but you end up not obeying the alarms you set yourself, let me know, because then you're dealing with a different issue and you'll get different advice.
If you consume caffeine, either in coffee, tea or soft drinks, stop drinking four hours before you go to bed.
When it comes to sleep, there is a complex relationship between sleep and depression.
This can create a negative feedback loop. Sleep problems can cause depression and depression in turn, can cause sleep problems. To avoid that, it's important you try and get your sleep. If you think you might already be depressed, then here's a simple test that will help you determine if that's possibly true (you get the answer directly and it doesn't take more than 5 minutes to take). Answer how you've felt in the last week. And let me know if you've scored over 27.
Back to sleeping: When you have days where you don't have to do anything, don't oversleep, set an alarm clock. You really don't need more than 7 hours at most per night(a little more if you are under 18). If you can't fall sleep, try taking melatonin one hour before going to bed. It's cheap, OTC and is scientifically proven to help regulate your sleep pattern. Also, rule out sleep apnea. Up to 6% of people have this, but not everyone knows.
If you find yourself often awake at night, start counting. Don't grab your phone, don't look at the clock, don't do anything interesting. We're trying to bore you to sleep, not keep you entertained - sometimes it might feel like you've done it for hours and hours, but often it's really not all that long. Anytime your mind wanders away from the numbers and starts thinking, start over at 1. count at the speed of either your heartbeat or your breathing, whatever you prefer.
If that still doesn't work and you really want to sleep, buy a dodow($60) and/or a white noise generator ($20).
Both Alexa and Google Home can also play a range of sleep sounds if you ask them (rain or other white noise).
Also consider a weighted blanket, because they are known to provide several positive effects
Naturally humans have two sleeps, not one. This was called the first and the second sleep. Most people adjusted during the industrial revolution and switched to a single sleep.
However, a sub group of people did not adjust. If you wake up after about 4 hours, then use the above advice for your first sleep and when you wake up, you can spend an hour or so doing whatever you like and then use the advice a second time, for your second sleep. Make sure you adjust your sleeping schedule in such a way that you still sleep the total number of hours recommended above.
Go here if you have any further specific questions: /r/sleep
>I will say that with the alarms i either fall asleep too early and The alarm ends up waking me up and then my schedule is ruined again or it will ring and i say “ill go to bed in a few minutes” and them its a few HOURS later.
You can time it fairly closely, especially once you get in a routine with the right number of hours of sleep (because then it's easier to fall asleep).
And if you ignore your alarm, that's a lack of self control and/or mindfulness. If you have a good control on your unconsciousness, that doesn't happen (and if your control is weak overall, then you should be working on that anyway, because it has a lot of benefits).
Exercise will help with, as well as meditation.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
You can reach a higher level of consciousness.
So the lower level will still believe, but the higher level can see the belief and knows it's just an obsession.
Once you reach that state, it isn't much of a problem anymore.
I have all sorts of belief problems. Probably even worse than you (assume you're OCDing or something similar). But it just doesn't bother me. I believe the thoughts, but then at the same time, I have a higher level of consciousness, that observes the belief and sees that it's not true.
That's what mindfulness is all about.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Sounds like you are not in control of yourself. That's fixable.
BTW, did you know there are people that never try to do this? They just live their whole live, letting their unconsciousness dictate what they do.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
You're causing your own suffering. I can tell you how to stop doing it, but I'm not sure you'd listen. You might be enjoying it too much.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Here's how to improve your sleep:
Set repeating alarms for when it's your bed time, so you don't go to bed too late (latest android OS has this feature build in nowadays). If you've tried this, but you end up not obeying the alarms you set yourself, let me know, because then you're dealing with a different issue and you'll get different advice.
If you consume caffeine, either in coffee, tea or soft drinks, stop drinking four hours before you go to bed.
When it comes to sleep, there is a complex relationship between sleep and depression.
This can create a negative feedback loop. Sleep problems can cause depression and depression in turn, can cause sleep problems. To avoid that, it's important you try and get your sleep. If you think you might already be depressed, then here's a simple test that will help you determine if that's possibly true (you get the answer directly and it doesn't take more than 5 minutes to take). Answer how you've felt in the last week. And let me know if you've scored over 27.
Back to sleeping: When you have days where you don't have to do anything, don't oversleep, set an alarm clock. You really don't need more than 7 hours at most per night(a little more if you are under 18). If you can't fall sleep, try taking melatonin one hour before going to bed. It's cheap, OTC and is scientifically proven to help regulate your sleep pattern. Also, rule out sleep apnea. Up to 6% of people have this, but not everyone knows.
If you find yourself often awake at night, start counting. Don't grab your phone, don't look at the clock, don't do anything interesting. We're trying to bore you to sleep, not keep you entertained - sometimes it might feel like you've done it for hours and hours, but often it's really not all that long. Anytime your mind wanders away from the numbers and starts thinking, start over at 1. count at the speed of either your heartbeat or your breathing, whatever you prefer.
If that still doesn't work and you really want to sleep, buy a dodow($60) and/or a white noise generator ($20).
Both Alexa and Google Home can also play a range of sleep sounds if you ask them (rain or other white noise).
Naturally humans have two sleeps, not one. This was called the first and the second sleep. Most people adjusted during the industrial revolution and switched to a single sleep.
However, a sub group of people did not adjust. If you wake up after about 4 hours, then use the above advice for your first sleep and when you wake up, you can spend an hour or so doing whatever you like and then use the advice a second time, for your second sleep. Make sure you adjust your sleeping schedule in such a way that you still sleep the total number of hours recommended above.
Go here if you have any further specific questions: /r/sleep
I don't think anyone has ever managed to be bad enough to have intermittent explosive disorder.
I think it's really rare.
You're next best bet is simply acceptance. Bad things happen to good people. You have to let it go.
It's a really bad world you find yourself in... It's a lot worse than you've realized. A lot worse. I don't even want to explain it to you, because you might end up depressed and kill yourself once you fully understand what's going on. This is a really bad place you find yourself in, you just haven't realized it. If you had, you wouldn't be angry about shoes. And you would be a lot more angry.
There are people that would be so happy to have their shoes stolen. A lot of people that would be really happy to have their shoes stolen. I could give you the number, but it's too big for a human brain to really understand. We aren't too good when too many digits are involved.
So you'll need better coping skills anyway. Because you might accidentally find out what's going on at some point. And then you're really going to be mad.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Depends on what's behind it. I have conversations in my head all the time, but they generally are new content. So it's not really replaying and I don't have a problem with it. It generally helps my work out ideas.
But if you're obsessively replaying the same conversations and focusing on for example things you think you said wrong, then it's probably social anxiety.
Either way, the fix is going to be to start meditating (but if it's social anxiety, then I've got some additional advice for you, so let me know).
If you could do this test, it'll give me a better idea how you are currently doing:
Here's a two minute test to check if you have social anxiety issues and not something else (results will be visible right away).
Let me know what your score is and I'll see what applicable advice I can give you.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
I suggest you to read: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0452289963/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_fab_ctXGFbWABJ5NW
Will open your mind even more
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
It's probably already too late. Or almost too late.
>I can beat anyone I know at any game
That's only going to be true if you don't know a lot of people and the ones you do know are quite stupid.
>I remember stuff better than anyone I know
Probably isn't true either. You're not going to beat an adult with a wide knowledge net on a certain topic. Not without first studying for a few months. You've already got a warped view.
Have they been doing this for a long time? All that praising? I don't want you to panic, but it's possible they flipped you into a narcissist. At least it seems that the narcissists become one through excessive praise, can be fixed. So that's the good news.
The problem is you are too young to get treated for it (if you even want that... There are advantages to being a narcissist. It does give you some level of superpowers. You just have to watch out for the bad stuff).
>I am highly intelligent, have lots of skills, etc. but then the next morning I feel like a dick
It sounds like it's flipping on and off.... So maybe you can cancel it somehow...
Fixing that... Hmm... I think humility would be a good way forward:
I think this is a decent manual for that (except for 1, skip that one).
Next, narcissism generally involves a very low empathy. So if you start ramping up your empathic abilities, that's probably going to help you a lot. Here's a (time intensive...) guide on ramping up your empathy: /r/narcissism/wiki/empathy (If you do go down that route, it's also going to rapidly increase your knowledge about people, it will show you your shortcomings and it'll make you wiser).
Then mindfulness: Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
And finally, give this book a try:
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
> I have moments when I reassure myself, when I realise that my path is my own. I by no means have messed anything up, I just did what I wanted to do, and at the end of the day that's how life goes. Even if I did what I now think is 'perfect', there are absolutely no certainties in life.
That's the correct way to approach the issue. Id say just start meditating so you increase you self control and then push the thoughts away.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
- /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you.
- 7 Cups of Tea has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option
- If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to 741741
There are several active subreddits, where you can post any additional questions you have:
- /r/depression/ (the biggest)
- /r/depression_help/ (the most helpful, also has a discord)
- /r/depressed/ (read the top pinned at some point)
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
>I feel like I have good mental health (as in I don't have depression and other things like that), but I would still like to see a therapist because I feel like it would be a good way to better understand myself.
Bit of a waste of money, you know. Can't you just do what everyone does and talk to your friends and analyze what you say?
I always listen to myself as well as others when I talk. Great way of getting to know yourself.
The entity that listens in your head is not the same entity that talks. They share common access to your unconsciousness, but they aren't the same.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Yeah, the brain is shit at "not" the harder you think I don't like X, the more you'll like X.
I'd just embrace it. It's not the worst thing in the world. Alternatively you start meditating and then whenever the thought comes up, you silence your mind. That's better than "not" thinking.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
There's no point worrying about something that will happen someday in the future. Waste of your time.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
If you are not interested in trying to solve your issues using the medical approach, you could give the book "A New Earth" a try. It basically teaches you to distantiating the observer in you from your inner voice, to realize how that inner voice is the one causing you all sorts of trouble and to try and silence it. It's a book that draws from various spiritual and religious sources, without promoting any of these actively. A New Earth, by (the already previously mentioned) Eckhart Tolle. On Amazon the book has over 5000 ratings, with an average of 4.5 Stars. PDF
Another (more expensive) approach that is also frequently mentioned as a fix for treatment resistant depression, is an ayahuasca retreat (do your own research, there's a couple different entities that provide it).
As you understand, the traditional approach has failed on you. So now it's expected that you'll have to take a more active role in your healing process. No one will care as much about you and will be able and willing to invest as much time in you as you can. And it's likely that a lot of time is needed.
There are several mental health disorders that are known to untreatable with therapy.
So if medication doesn't work for you for some reason and you have a personality disorder that hides from the therapist, then you're also not going to be cured ever.
I don't know all personality disorders that will do that, but I'll list two common ones (that are known to cause depression):
If you have either of these, then you're basically on your own, you'll have to figure it out yourself
And that's not the full list either. So if these don't apply to you, you'll have to do your own research and see if you can find any other personality disorder that's therapy resistant.
I do have tests for the two I listed:
Let me know if you scored over 20 on the first test
Let me know if you scored over 28 on the second test and let me know what you scored).
Free support options:
- /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you.
- 7 Cups of Tea has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option
- If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to 741741
There are several active subreddits, where you can post any additional questions you have:
- /r/depression/ (the biggest)
- /r/depression_help/ (the most helpful, also has a discord)
- /r/depressed/ (read the top pinned at some point)
Jordan Peterson: How To Deal With Depression (50 minutes). Jordan Peterson is a clinical psychologist, that's specialized in mythology. This is a compilation of several of his lectures focusing specifically on depression (if this resonates, let me know what you need: I can give advice on motivation, purpose, dating, or friends).
Phone Apps(optionally): Two popular free apps commonly used that helps fighting depressions, are Wysa and MoodTools. These will track your mood, give you advice or even listen to your problems. The most popular meditation app is: Calm - Meditate, Sleep, Relax
If you are not interested in trying to solve your issues using the medical approach, you could give the book "A New Earth" a try. It basically teaches you to distantiating the observer in you from your inner voice, to realize how that inner voice is the one causing you all sorts of trouble and to try and silence it. It's a book that draws from various spiritual and religious sources, without promoting any of these actively. A New Earth, by (the already previously mentioned) Eckhart Tolle. On Amazon the book has over 5000 ratings, with an average of 4.5 Stars. PDF
Another (more expensive) approach that is also frequently mentioned as a fix for treatment resistant depression, is an ayahuasca retreat (do your own research, there's a couple different entities that provide it).
Free support options:
- /r/KindVoice will match you up with a volunteer that will listen to you.
- 7 Cups of Tea has both a free trained volunteer service as well as $150 monthly licensed therapist option
- If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to 741741
There are several active subreddits, where you can post any additional questions you have:
- /r/depression/ (the biggest)
- /r/depression_help/ (the most helpful, also has a discord)
- /r/depressed/ (read the top pinned at some point)
>I scored an 11 on that codependency test, so I guess that is a problem I need to work on.
Yeah. Way too high. That's probably it.
> I read through the traits of a covert narcissist, and I know you said most don’t think of themselves that way, but I just don’t think that I am one.
That page is pretty good I think and I've placed more than enough doubt in your mind. If you are still convinced you aren't one, you probably aren't, you know?
> these years. And why certain circumstances made it impossible to leave when i wanted to. I guess what I’m saying is my feeling of being victimized feels justified by what has happened throughout my life.
It's the most horrible victim trap that exists. One where the victim actually has reason to feel like one. You should still resist it.
The problem with victim mentality is that when you feel like a victim, you end up stuck. Really bad things can happen to people that continue with this way of thinking.
It is better for a human to sometimes shrug and move on, then to dwell on the fact of how unfair the universe is. Because if you give in to that, you will do that over, and over and over.
Then you will become depressed, that's also not your fault. Who knows what comes after that. And that also will not be your fault.
It is better to find fault in yourself (even when it probably wasn't) than to take on a victim role, because considering yourself a victim of circumstances places the blame outside yourself, so you don't have to try and improve. It wasn't your fault after all.
What is worse, most people fundamentally understand this principle. They might not be able to verbalize it as well as I can, but they know what you are doing and they know it is bad for them, because depressions are contagious. Your negative attitude can make those around you sick. They know that you are on the wrong track, even though they might not be able to tell you why exactly. Keep going down the road you are currently going down and you'll find everyone you approach, will eventually turn away from you. It's a self fulfilling nightmare. The more you feel like a victim, the more you will be a victim.
It is a flaw in the human mind. Don't exploit it, you don't know how bad you can end up if you go down that route, but I do. And it's really, really sad what happens to people that do this long term.
That's why I hammer on it. The consequences of giving in to this can be very severe. It's not that I think you've got it very badly, I don't. It's because if the small chance that you will develop full victim mentality becomes reality, they you will end up in one of the worst states I've ever seen a human in. Worse than narcissism. Worse than codependency. Understand? Can you imagine being in a mental state that is worse than your mom and dad combined? That's what I'm talking about.
I've talked to people like that... It's horrible, absolutely horrible.
> I still try my best, it’s just hard to ignore everything that’s happened and just move on.
Buddhism might help you towards the right path.
Your attention is like a muscle. The more you train it, the better the control you have over it. Mindfulness training will help you gain better control over your mind. It doesn't take much effort, just 15 to 20 minutes a day of doing nothing but focus your attention is enough and is scientifically proven to work. As you become better at focusing your attention, it will become easier to force yourself to stop having negative thoughts, which will break the negative reinforcement cycle. Go here if you have specific questions: /r/Meditation
I like this book from Eckhart Tolle. Has 5500 ratings, 4.5 star. PDF. It's eclectic in its approach, it doesn't mind leaning on Freud, Jung, Buddha and Jesus and it's not too long.
It basically tries to explain and teach you to distinguish between you, the observer and you, the inner voice (of ego) and how this inner voice causes a lot of the problems we face in every day life. And how to silence this inner voice that causes jealousy, anguish and a wide range of other issues.
Online resources:
- Buddhism for beginners
- New to Buddhism? Get a short overview and practical advice.
Highest rated books:
- The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberatio 4.8 start, 900+ ratings
- Why Buddhism Is True: The Science and Philosophy of Meditation and Enlightenment 4.3 star, 600+ ratings
Go here if you have more questions: /r/Buddhism. They also have a very detailed FAQ
Then finally, let's address the codependency issue:
Consider involving a therapist, if you have access to one.
- Steps to Be Empowered and Not a Victim (this is about codependency, not victim mentality, they just named it like that).
Highest rated books on Amazon:
- Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself (4.6 star, 3500+ ratings)
- Codependent No More Workbook (4.6 start 400+ ratings)
- The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency (4.8 star, 2000+ ratings)
Codependents often end up in abusive relationships. Make sure you recognize the signs of emotional abuse and use this as warning signs of something being wrong in your relationship.
If you have any additional questions, you can ask them here: /r/Codependency/
A New Earth, by (the already previously mentioned) Eckhart Tolle. On Amazon the book has over 5000 ratings, with an average of 4.5 Stars. PDF
Another (more expensive) approach that is also frequently mentioned as a fix for treatment resistant depression, is an ayahuasca retreat (do your own research, there's a couple different entities that provide it).
If you are in a crisis and want free help from a live, trained Crisis Counselor, text HOME to 741741
There are several active subreddits, where you can post any additional questions you have:
- /r/depression/ (the biggest)
- /r/depression_help/ (the most helpful, also has a discord)
- /r/depressed/ (read the top pinned at some point)
Note: This advice predates Covid-19, so I'm not sure how well these resources have held up over time.
First, the best way to get money is to reduce your spending.
Go to Help When You Need It, enter your zip code and select "Food Pantry". Then either call the nearest food pantries, or alternatively, copy the name and location of the food pantry and search for them. Often you'll be able to find their website (which isn't listed in this search engine). This will allow you to get food for free, so you have money you can spend on other essential things.
If you've been active with your reddit account for a while, you can also go to /r/Food_Pantry/ and submit an outline of your situation with a link to a Amazon or Walmart wishlist and/or you can go to /r/Assistance and submit your problems there and either ask for help or post wishlists. Read the sidebar before posting or else your request will be deleted, keep in mind that you'll be asked questions to validate your request. Don't expect to receive anything without considerable intrusion to your privacy (it's nothing personal, they have to do this to weed out the bad people). Also watch out for scammers. Don't give anyone your bank logins.
Go to /r/personalfinance, join the subreddit and read the sidebar. This is a highly active and very well moderated subreddit. Not only will they teach you the basics, they can also help with complex situations like loan consolidations etc.
Then if you still have questions, submit a detailed post there that includes all your expenditures and they will tell you all the possible ways in which you can reduce your spending. The best time to submit on Reddit is early in the morning EST.
Longer term, search for "apply for foodstamps name of your state" and then fill out the online forms.
Online
You can transcribe audio on rev.com. Here's how much money that can make you.
You can also do mechanical turk Here's a some details and what to watch out for.
Here is a list of 12 legit data entry companies, with details regarding how much it pays and type of work. Watch out if you search for companies on your own, there are apparently several scams out there for these jobs.
You can also find work on Clickworker. Sign up: Clickworker
Do you have any specific skills? If you do, check out fiverr (don't bother with the unskilled jobs there, you'll be outbid by people from India willing to work well below minimum wage). Subreddit: /r/fiverr
Want more options? Go to /r/beermoney. Pay attention and educate yourself if you go down this route and read the sidebar, sometimes scammers use surveys to collect information.
If you have transportation
Every day, go to your local Craigslist page and look at the gigs section (here's the Denver one). You will find cash jobs there. Often it's for movers or other day labor jobs. Watch out for scams (I don't know if there are any specific gig scams and I wouldn't know the local scams in your area, but often they try to get you to wire money or things like that)
Sign up to TaskRabbit, to do local jobs, like moving, cleaning and delivery. This does not require insurance and you will be paid 4 to 8 days after you complete your task. Subreddit where you can ask detailed questions: /r/TaskRabbit
Sign up as a Amazon Handyman (note: This does require general liability insurance, which costs a minimum of $40 a month).
Donate blood plasma. If you go to Google Maps and search for "Plasma Center" you will find the nearest center. More details on donating blood plasma
If you live in one of these ten states and you have a bicycle or a laundry cart, on the garbage pickup day, you can walk over to a nearby neighborhood and start collecting beverage containers. You can make about $5 an hour doing this. You'll have to use Google to find nearby collection stations.
Keep in mind, if you follow through with this and you make a decent amount of income, you'll have to pay taxes on it. So be prepared for that when it's time to file your taxes.
> It's so bizarre since my line of work involves constant deadlines and target work, yet i can't seem to do it for myself. Partly because I don't like myself anymore.
Eckhart Tolle has something interesting to say about that:
>Most people have moments when they are free of ego. Those who are exceptionally good at what they do may be completely or largely free of ego while performing their work. They may not know it, but their work has become a spiritual practice. Most of them are present while they do their work and fall back into relative unconsciousness in their private life. This means their state of Presence is for the time being confined to one area of their life.
He basically says that during work you have reached a higher level of consciousness and when you go back home, you start to fight again with your ego and it's your ego that's making you feel bad. In case you are interested in developing yourself spiritually (it might be a shortcut around your self esteem issues, if it clicks with you, no promises though):
Here's the amazon page (massive 5500 ratings, 4.5 star book)
And here's the PDF.
Get this book and read it through twice: https://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/dp/0452289963
Read some Eckhart Tolle too, it will change your life. https://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/dp/0452289963
Nothing too solid, I'm afraid. Although books like A New Earth and The Power of Now by ekhart tolle have been instrumental for me, at least when it comes to having more inner peace.
The motivation side of things is a bit more illusive, as those books make me peacefully complacent. Although, I find having a clearer mind is much healthier place to start from. Best of luck! :)
Maybe you are an alien. That would be pretty fucked up though, wouldn't it? To be an alien, but not know. Then again maybe we are all aliens. Or more likely none of us are aliens and this is all a simulation.
Do any of those possibilities change a thing in your life? If you are so privileged, perhaps consider trading places with someone else. You don't have to change names like Eddie Murphy, but maybe it's your "world" of privilege that doesn't suit you.
Buy A New Earth and spend a week traveling on a train while you read it. Come back a new person. Kick that asshole out of your privileged life and enjoy your new outlook on life.
Warning: this might be a bit woo-woo for many INTJs. LOL
I'm wondering how you can strive to alter yourself when you seem to have no real sense of yourself without someone else's definition laid upon you. It might be worth taking the time to acquaint yourself with your Self before you decide a major overhaul is necessary. It's possible that if you know your Self and become more aligned with your Self, you'll actually have an easier, more congruent and fulfilling life and more honest and deeply connected relationships with others.
You might want to take a look at Eckhart Tolle, whose book A New Earth has a lot to do with becoming more conscious of your inner self, and differentiating between your real Self and the voice of your ego... and also the difference between your Self and your thoughts. Yes, he's an Oprah "new thought" guru, but he's also kind of an intellectually weighty geek and his explanations are a bit more complex than some of the other spiritual folks she promotes.
You might also gain some valuable insight through those tried-and-true methods of journaling and meditation. Russell Simmons (of Run DMC) wrote a really straightforward, decently researched, and simple "how-to" book on meditation that you might want to check out if that piques your interest, too.
What a great, well written, thoughtful letter. Thank you for sharing it. My much loved to me SIL struggles (as does her whole family) with profound familial hereditary depression; as does another very close friend of mine. For several years following the birth of my youngest child I suffered from a blackness that felt like death (depression x 100). I am sure you can relate.
My blackness/depression was not hereditary. For me it was caused directly from trying to live the unachievable, ridiculous, and impossible expectations of a crazy cult; all whilst limiting any type of free thought or honest human intimacy and connection I needed.
I believe the crazy expectations of TSCC are particularly damning to creative, right brained individuals who need honest, deep human intimacy and connection. TSCC only allows intimacy and connection with itself. It sells hollow emptiness disguised as spirituality (and this next point is particularly important) as true intimacy and connection obliterates any need for the church. TSCC doesn't even allow true initmacy/connection between a married couple as it limits human thought.
Since leaving the church and all of it's many should's.....(just go to sacrament meeting and count how many times 'should' is mentioned) I have felt actually happy! Sadly, I watch my two close friends still struggle to live TSCC's lifestyle, trying harder and harder to live crazy expectations imposed upon them as they fall deeper into despair; not understanding what they are 'doing wrong' and blaming themselves for not feeling the spirit (if they just tried harder, if they just stopped sinning, if they just were more faithful.......and on and on and on it goes).
I guess my whole point of this long epistle is that your letter touched me, and the obvious pain you have experienced in life has been (in my opinion) expounded by this awful religion. Life gets better, and while you may struggle with depression throughout your life, you have managed to escape a known cause of extreme depression, Mormonism. I believe it is no coincidence that Utah has one of the highest rates of antidepressant use.
Unfortunately, you still have a TBM family that will impose TSCC's crazy judgmental crap on you. However, as you progress through life you will find your tribe, and family opinions will matter less and less.
If you are interested in finding your true identity as defined by you, may I recommend 'A New Earth' by Eckhart Tolle; (sp?) http://www.amazon.com/New-Earth-Awakening-Purpose-Selection/dp/0452289963
How has your depression been since leaving the Church, if you don't mind me asking?
I would like to add that mindfulness practice would really help this person too. If they start paying attention to those little subconscious impulses to pull out their phone and start browsing, they will notice how often it happens and the impulse will start to diminish naturally.
I would recommend to /u/Krasso that when you find yourself mindlessly browsing. Pay attention to how your body feels, your emotions. This might not stop you, but if you start to pay attention to how you feel, you may find you need a drink, or need to go to the bathroom. Take those opportunities to distance yourself from the tech, then find something else to do.
It's about learning to focus your attention into the present moment. Listening to the sound around you or feeling your body will disconnect you from the compulsive information gorging.
I found my way to mindfulness through Eckhart Tolle which has a spiritual bent. For more scientific and other approaches to the practice, try these.
I think you would really enjoy this
> I'd love to hear your story, what happened when you were 27 and how did it get better?
Long story short: I fucked up spectacularly. I fucked up my amazing career. I fucked up my romantic life. I fucked up EVERYTHING. I don't want to reveal a lot of detail, but I had to quickly leave the foreign country I was living in and come back to the US.
I spent the next year plotting all the ways I could kill myself. The only thing stopping me was my politeness: I didn't want to traumatize those who found me. So, I distracted myself in unhealthy ways. I lost friends. To this day, people judge me for that time.
It took 6 BRUTAL years for me to get better. I suffered through intense depression much of those 6 years. Again, I don't want to go into too much detail.
But I stayed alive.
Finally, starting from mid-2012, I finally was able to figure shit out. My wandering through the desert is slowly coming to an end. The thing is - much of my life circumstances remain the same. And yet, I'm so happy. Why? Read below.
> I suppose I can go back to therapy, did it really help you that much?
Holy crap, yes! Just the act of finding the right therapist was extremely beneficial. I was signaling to the world that, even though I didn't have the emotional ability now, I was going to learn how. I wan't a victim. And, if something didn't work, I was worthy enough to try again.
Trust me - you have a lot more emotional fortitude than you realize. Until you're tested, you don't know. Which is why I wouldn't trade in my past for all the bacon in the world. I wouldn't have had the opportunity to be tested if life hadn't thrown terror, depression, humiliating money problems, suicidal ideation, feelings of failure thrown at me. Sucks to live through it, but you can. And when you do, you emerge from the other side like a badass Shaolin monk. Imagine how awesome it is to know that you're Teddy Roosevelt's famed "Man in the Arena" <-- by the way, all of what I'm saying is gender neutral. I happen to be female, I love being female, and I have a Hello Kitty magnet on my fridge.
> If you could give me the names of resources that helped you that would be awesome
Most helpful: I totally studied the shit out of Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth". I don't know how you feel about Oprah, but she and Tolle did an EXCELLENT (free) 10-week seminar about the book, answering questions from readers, and it was extremely helpful.
I then read Tolle's "The Power of Now", which is more esoteric than "A New Earth." Thus, I recommend starting with "A New Earth."
Both of these books, I totally marked up, notes and underlines. I printed out other interview transcripts and stuck them in the books.
After that, I heard about Pema Chodrom, an American Buddhist nun, and watched her interview then read her books.
Then I read some Byron Katie but her books don't show the techniques nearly as well as YouTube videos, so I recommend finding videos of her working with others.
I learned about EFT and TAT. And cognitive behavioral therapy. A true learning experience of cutting-edge therapy that hasn't caught onto the mainstream yet. I'm good enough at EFT and TAT to be a practitioner, but I choose to just do it for myself. P.S. both sites have totally scaled back on the free case studies and articles offered, which is a shame.
The Steve Pavlina forums are now closed, but the content has been archived. And his blog posts from a few years back were profound for their time (now, everyone writes about what he wrote about 6 years ago).
Sorry for the long post. My ADD often makes it difficult to read long-posts (although I can write them, rife with spelling and grammatical errors!).
Remember - you are master of your destiny. No legs? No arms? Victim of violence? These people still crawl through hell to live. And they're so inspiring, just thinking about them makes me proud to be human.
Well, we're all part of the human race. We all have the power to rise above our current situation. It will get better because you will make it better. It took me 6 years. It may take you longer. Or shorter. Point is - you will make it better.
Being vegan in my case is easy because I'm more focused on staying aware and present and meditating as much as possible. In my case, it helped a lot
This book is a must for anyone wanting a shift in consciousness...I can't even tell you how many people it has helped
Not pure Christian ( although the core is the same ) but a great starting point for the sense seeking :)
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