His daughter’s book is quite interesting. She says on the one hand there were no signs...but she also relates very troubling incidents that should have alerted someone to his psychopathy.
A Serial Killer's Daughter: My Story of Faith, Love, and Overcoming https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400201756/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_4967G77CYN8NQGYYJKZ1
hug This information must be very, very hard to process. I'm so proud of you for staying sober throughout this.
Kerri Rawson, daughter of BTK, wrote a book about her experiences. Trailer
Amazon Link It might be at your local library. I haven't read it so I can't vouch for it, but it's getting good reviews.
What you do with this information is up to you. True Crime fanatics and writers can be absolute vultures. If you don't want to tell your meeting group the specifics, you don't have too.
If your scared your or your children will "turn out like him" by all means seek a therapist. What he did isn't a guarantee to be genetic, and it doesn't make up all of him. If you think that you inherited his business acumen or his nose, that doesn't mean you inherited any violent impulses. If you think you have thoughts of violence, or you just need to vent to someone in private, there's no shame in therapy.
Again, this is a tough thing to bear. I'm so, so sorry it's happened to you.
BTK/Dennis Rader's daughter says exactly the same thing. She has a book about it.
https://www.amazon.com/Serial-Killers-Daughter-Story-Overcoming/dp/1400201756
Around people in their lives, they are a completely different person.
It's only when you explore outside of that you start to find the cracks appearing.
Not all are like that though. Sometimes their family lives are just as bad.
What this goes to show is that there are constraints over who can be a serial killer/rapist.
It can be anybody, from any walk of life. Anyone at all. They can blend in.
The longer they fool everybody the more you expect them to be... well... a regular Joe.
I think it's important for the families of serial killers to get things off their chest and to write about their experiences so we can also learn from them.
Maybe one day we will learn more outside of what is a statement prepared for the courts in favor of the defendant.