23 is so vary young. Your brain is probably not even fully developed. I would encourage you to read ADD friendly ways to organize your life ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies that Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138190748/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_A2F751QK3E39ZMG71R21
And just focus on one thing at a time. Use the 5 second rule to complete tasks. The 5 second rule is the ADHD person’s best friend. It’s very simple identity something to do, count 5,4,3,2,1 and do it. Once you start accomplishing tasks you will feel better about yourself. You have a gift right now to be able to be so young. Enjoy it!
I am sorry that you don’t have the support that you need. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with learning skills that will help you while waiting for an diagnosis. There’s some great workbooks on executive functions that could help you with your education. This book was a game changer for me: ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies that Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138190748/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_EWZC619575ZRNSGXBBCC
I read it before getting diagnosed with ADHD and found it interesting but I was not successful at making use of any of it.
The one tidbit I recall that I thought was genius was setting up your environment to make it easier to do things you want and harder to do things you don't want. Maybe it's a stage of life thing but swapping leisure time for more productive hobbies doesn't interest me right now. My life is hard enough, let me do nothing in my spare time, you know? That's what I need.
But if I was engaging in unhealthy activities and wanted to change that, I would totally use that technique.
The one book in that vein that really spoke to me (disclaimer: as a mother of teenage kids who works full time) is ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life Second Edition: Strategies that Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician
There are some books you might find helpful, such as ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies that Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D. (ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies that Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138190748/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_D1RJMWNMVKZ0NWHMQ738).
Otherwise, most of these skills are learned in therapy or ADHD coaching.
ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies that Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen G. Nadeau, Ph.D.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138190748/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_83YPFFKPD9BZKGPRPRGN
Definitely not alone! I wish I had really good advice for you, but I feel the exact same way and it’s a struggle. Not only do I not like having to ask for help, I’d much prefer to be independent. I’ve been reading this book and so far it’s been full of a lot of helpful, practical tips. It’s mostly about organization but there’s also things about habit forming that I’ve found helpful.
For your psych, do they specialize in ADHD? They might not understand what you mean when you say body doubles. Maybe try looking up an article about them to share with them?
I bought a ‘doorganizer’ and it’s been a game changer. I put my keys in it as soon as I walk in the door and pull my keys out when I walk out. No more lost keys! Similarly, I stopped resisting and bought Tiles. I have Tiles on/in my keys, purse, wallet, car, and bike, and I can use any of them to ring for my lost phone. No more lost car or phone! I keep and update my groceries/‘to buy’ list on a Note on my phone. Any time I have an appointment I can’t miss (flights, etc), I make a schedule on a Note on my phone, so I know when I have to start getting ready. And most importantly, I get help. I have a friend or hire someone off taskrabbit to help me when I’m struggling getting started. I credit a lot of my success to this book, partially just for normalizing the idea that I might need help: https://www.amazon.com/ADD-Friendly-Ways-Organize-Your-Life/dp/1138190748
This book was a life saver for me: ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies that Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138190748/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_SFPD4Y9TK3N9AT37W7S6
More than likely you are a good candidate for ADHD medication. Wellbutrin is not intended to relieve your ADHD symptoms. I am sorry that you found an unhelpful doctor. Attitudes regarding disabilities are complex and can be enabling to being very unsympathetic. It’s important to keep in mind that regardless of any label or lack of label you are a gifted person who deserves respect and consideration. It’s unfortunate that many healthcare providers look at what’s wrong rather than what is needed so an individual can thrive
We have a mind that struggles with order. It took me 47 years to learn how to do many of things on your dad’s list. I learned how to “fix” it when in graduate school I took a class on teaching children with ADHD. In this class I was taught about executive functions and I took a test meant for middle school students and scored very low. We were assigned a book ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life: Strategies that Work from an Acclaimed Professional Organizer and a Renowned ADD Clinician https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138190748/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_MA3K3D0Z80009DTC477Q
And it became a game changer for me. It was 100s of techniques to learn the executive functions we need to thrive. For me it was all about routine. Now if something comes up I think of a routine that will solve this problem. I am very visual so I literally make a checklist that I check off when I am learning a new routine.
For an example at work I was written up enough times that I was on the verge of disciplinary actions for failing to lock my filing cabinet. I had confidential information in it and it was work policy that when I left my desk I was to lock my filing cabinet. I made a checklist for what I would do if I went to the bathroom, went on a break and left for the day. I used the checklist until it became muscle memory.
Another problem I had was misplacing my car keys, ID and debit card. I didn’t carry a purse because I figured I would just lose that too. Probably rightfully so. So I made a checklist for learning a habit to keep track of it. I keep a purse now. I have a habit before I get out of my car I snap my keys to my purse, gather all my garbage, toss it out on the way to my office and house and then hang my purse up by the door. To learn the habit I checked off on my list each time I did my routine. I make my lists on my phone.
I have found that my ADD can be an asset if I can create habits that keep me on task. I have an incredible ability to concentrate on one thing if I block out other stimulation. I have people come to me to help them be more organized. This book was really the turning point towards having an asset verses a disability.
https://www.amazon.com/ADD-Friendly-Ways-Organize-Your-Life/dp/1138190748
*applauding with a big smile and wiping away a tear*
Well done.
As others say, don't feel driven off re: medication. You might not need it, or want it, but if you do - I think it's a disservice to yourself to not pursue it. If you don't, fair play and big thumbs up, but I know in my situation it'd have been a poor move on my part. Be encouraged, in any event. :)
Also, for a practical book that may be of interest, I've found this to be really decent: https://www.amazon.co.uk/ADD-Friendly-Ways-Organize-Your-Life/dp/1138190748/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=VVSYCVVERHK8WQZ45ZMY
Best of luck!
I'd also recommend this one: ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life https://www.amazon.ca/ADD-Friendly-Ways-Organize-Your-Life/dp/1138190748/ref=pd_sbs_5?pd_rd_w=yqsl6&pf_rd_p=73696620-9c76-4b06-8f98-d922b7ad22e2&pf_rd_r=1G97421VGH45MR2JW6G5&pd_rd_r=eb35f58f-6e58-43a9-8396-e5980062ca33&pd_rd_wg=1kGER&pd_rd_i=1138190748&psc=1
RE: Garbage - I used to keep mine out in the open (just a bag hung on a hook in the kitchen) but after 5+ years of finding it unsightly, I finally moved to an under-sink solution. My solution to the Out of Sight Out of Mind conundrum is I have a super small bin (10L) so it has to be taken out at least once a day because it's full. I'm a big believer that bigger is not better with in-home waste receptacles!!
Adult ADD and into literally dozens of arts and crafts and hobbies here, which I rotate seasonally. I finally came to the same conclusion as 61rats: each pastime gets its own clear lidded tub or section on a shelf, contained (and LABELLED).
Then the only stuff allowed to live out in the open near my desk and workbench is "general duty" tools that can be used for multiple projects (scissors, Dremel, T-square). All else must be grouped, tubbed and stored in its own section, just like at Michaels ;-)
And...only one tub is allowed out at a time, so I have to finish and pack up before embarking on the next project. Surprisingly motivating.
The best book I've found is ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life ("the red book"). Pure gold!
I recently read this book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1138190748/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
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It was really helpful and pretty easy to read!
first, maybe talk to your doctor?? a lot of people get distracted easily, have issues with executive function, etc. I remember my diagnosing psychiatrist telling me 12 years ago that it’s ADHD when those issues have an ongoing negative effect on relationships / school or work / and a third aspect of life that i can’t remember lolol.
Anyway, here’s what helps me: lists! having somebody to talk to while I’m doing housework! paying somebody to do housework for me! accepting that my home will always be a little cluttered! also any books about cleaning and organizing for folks with adhd. there’s a great gal on twitter who put together a cleaning guide for adhd folks: https://blackgirllostkeys.com and there’s a book i bought ten years ago that was a game changer for me: ADHD friendly ways to organize your life