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I’m glad you’re okay and was able to get away. I can’t believe the door didn’t lock from the inside! Make sure to contact Airbnb about that as well as give a bad rating explaining why. That is a very dangerous set up for anyone staying there. This is good to travel with: [link]
I recommend this portable door lock, provided it works with the doors in your Airbnb. I use this for a bit of extra security when needed. It’s great for hotel rooms as well. It can take a minute to get it jammed in properly but it makes so someone cannot get in even if they have a key. Best of luck to you, stay safe. Addalock - (1 Piece ) Portable... [link]
Edit: spelling mistake
Something like this might be helpful to you, unless you think it'll cause her to escalate. Ripping the door open like that is sexually abusive, though. You have a right to your privacy.
I bought an Add-A-Lock from Amazon for about $15. There are other brands of portable locks out there as well, and they prevent someone coming into your room even if they have the key!
Addalock - (1 Piece ) Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock [link]
Just got this from Amazon the other day. I love it. Take it with you anywhere. Works great. I leave my home at 1am and my kids and wife stay at home alone and this makes her feel much much more secure.
Addalock - (1 Piece) [link]
This is an extra lock you can put on almost any door for extra security. Even if someone has a key & unlocks the door itself, they will still be unable to open the door. I recently got one for my apartment & I read a review of a woman who used this & it ended up saving her. Two apartment mx workers came into her apartment while she happened to be getting out of the shower & was naked. They apologized & left as she was shouting at them to leave. She bought one of these immediately. Later, one of those same guys tried coming in. She was yelling at him through the door & he said he was just trying to apologize again.
Get on Amazon and buy at least one Add A Lock. It’s a portable lock that keeps someone from opening your door even if they have the key. You can only use it when you’re in the room, not when you leave. But it sounds like this is what you need anyway. You deserve to feel safe in your own home OP, find a new place ASAP!
Came to recommend this, specifically this kind of lock which doesn’t require special install so is perfect for an apartment. Addalock - (1 Piece ) Portable Door Lock It doesn’t look like much but will keep your door locked even if someone has a key.
Oh hell no. You are not overreacting. That is scary as fuck.
Since you said that you can't use a deadbolt, I would get a doorstop or figure out another way to stop someone from opening the door until things are figured out. Maybe something like this, or even use a chair.
Depending on where you live, you should have a tenant advocacy board in your province/city you can contact. They may also be able to get you out of your lease if you guys just want to get out of there, or help you deal with this issue. It should be relatively easy to find if you google them up. If you have time, I would consider calling the police non-emergency line and asking them for advice because to me, this is more than just a landlord issue. This man came into your home and was looming over your roommate as she slept like a fucking predator.
I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this. No one should feel unsafe in their own home :(
This worries me that it might escalate to him trying to get into your house! All of you ladies living alone should invest in something like this Add-A-Lock portable lock, so someone cannot enter your home even if they have the key! I’ve heard of women who have had to use it because they had landlords with boundary issues.
I really don't know what to say...this isn't one bit normal. Could you get this and use it every time you shower? I'd also say keep it in your room so she doesn't take it, maybe even in your backpack or purse.
Ugh I hate this. I had the super strong suspicion that my past roommates did this too, but we had keys to our bedrooms that the landlord didn't give us right away so all I had to do was ask.
I saw someone in this subreddit suggest something like this, but I think it only works from the inside.
I live alone now and I have installed a battery powered lock with remote control to compensate the old one on the entrance door, but I had to drill holes to install it so I don't think it's what you're looking for
Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock [link]
I haven’t tried this portable lock personally, but it has pretty good reviews on Amazon. Doesn’t hurt to try.
Yeah, I figured I probably couldn’t alter the locks on the door. I’m looking for one that’s not so permanent and can be taken on and off as you go.
Something similar to this lock in the way it’s able to be taken on and off easily. I haven’t found any that are made for the outside of the door, though. Sorry, I should’ve been more specific!
I'm concerned that if this joker does maintenance for the building he'll have access to your apartment key. I'd raise that concern with the landlord and also invest in something like this.
You could use a taser instead but I personally find them more cumbersome (and obvious) to carry around. You will get some blowback from the pepper spray but you could also hide the relief decontamination spray somewhere only you know where it is.
For the bathroom you could look at something like this.
I honestly don't understand what is wrong with people who can't seem to respect the most basic boundaries. It doesn't matter if THEY aren't bothered if YOU are.
I don't know if you want to bother, but even if they won't let you put a lock on your door, you could use a doorstop or push a piece of furniture in front of your bedroom door to keep them out (assuming it opens into your room). I've also heard good things about these, but I've never used one: Addalock
My mother was terrible about this too. She would knock on my bedroom door if it was closed, but would just walk right in after w/o invitation. The bathroom thing was the worst. If I was in the bathroom for any reason, she would just let herself in to do whatever. I didn't (and still don't) if someone needs to go while I'm in the shower---but if I'm on the toilet, leave me the hell alone. She'd come in chatting at me like that and do her hair/makeup when I'd just like 5 min to myself. The reverse was true as well.
Respect goes both ways and your parents need to understand that. I don't have high hopes that they will change their ways (my mother never did). When you are able, move out as soon as possible. Believe me, it's well worth it.
Highjacking the top comment, if you're afraid to travel because of this and you're not sure if your hotel room will have a door stop, you can temporarily and without tools have one
That’s awful. Your landlord is definitely violating a whole bunch of rules. Some of my queer friends have this for when they’re traveling. It’s a portable lock that makes your door difficult to open. It can only be removed by the person inside the locked area.
Hi murderinos and other true crime friends. I’m not entering this one, but I have a recommendation to add to your wishlists for when you travel or even to feel extra safe in your dorm or apartment:
You can buy these portable locks they’re used by people who stay in hotels and stuff and don’t trust they’re the only one with a key. It’s 100% removable and just provides and extra barrier. It’s just a mechanism you put on the door. So sorry this happened
Try these out: [link]
It’s a lock that you can put on your door with no tools. While it’s not 100% secure (he can still just break down the door), it’ll at least make enough noise for you to wake up.
Work around for pepper spray: get a small can of extra strong hold hairspray to keep in your purse. It gives you some plausible deniability to say that you have it on you just to fix your hair if (god forbid) you have to use it. And a multi-tool (useful both for general situations and can be used for self defense). If you have the budget I would try to Uber places, even if everything’s close. Maybe get one of those portable door locks ([link]) for some additional security
in regards to your edit, no there isn’t tape with adhesive strong enough for the chain to have a chance at working. if there was i doubt it would qualify as temporary because you would definitely take some wall with it.
just changing the locks because her mother is an absolute busybody is the right call; but if you do need something that is usable without installing any hardware, and will keep a door closed something like this or a similar device is the most prudent option
It's called an Addalock. I had one for my room in another apartment when someone was going into my space to borrow clothes. It just goes between the door and has a special key for unlocking it.
Ew that’s so fucking disturbing. I’m glad you got out of there.
10/10 would recommend one of these the next time you travel though. I never stay anywhere without it and they work really well.
You are so welcome, and I am so happy that you are not truly 100% alone! Seriously makes a huge difference in everything to have a partner or buddy for the good times and the bad. <3
ETA- here in that lock I referred to Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock [link]
I bought a portable lock when I needed to do this. It slides into the latch of the door and blocks it from opening without half wrecking the doorframe.
First example I found is here: [link] . I have no idea if this model is any good, just giving an example of what I mean.
That said. If they refuse to respect the privacy and you've already spoken to them... Sounds like it's time to get an apartment near campus and move yourself out.
Get cameras for your house, make sure they are recording.
I would also order one of these Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock [link]
NTA. I know how you feel. My mom constantly bursts into my room while I'm in meetings and it's extremely annoying and infuriating. My parents don't even knock.
I recently bought an Addalock. It's not permanent and it's portable. I suggest you check it out!
She’s paying rent. She can come and go as she pleases. You’re being needy. If you’re so afraid to be alone buy this:
This is what has helped me growing up with an abusive parent:
For valuables like my phone and wallet and journal, a small safe or drawer that I can padlock is really helpful. Or even just having hiding spots in my bedroom. If the sounds of people walking around at night keeps you up, a white noise machine helps with the hypervigilance. If you don’t have a door lock, you can actually buy a portable one for about $20 US. In an absolute emergency, a door under the handle or something tied around the handle and secured to a heavy object also works. I hope that helps!
Also a teacher (university level) in the states, this episode just reminded me to buy a portable door lock (link to Amazon) for my classroom when we come back in the fall. I cannot imagine what I would do if I heard gunshots in the hallways outside of my classroom. It makes me so glad that my main classroom only has one entry point. Many of the large lecture halls in my university have two in the front and two in the back, and I always have insane anxiety before, during, and after lecturing in those rooms.
Look on Amazon. There's a little do-hickey that you can stick the door jamb that works as a lock.
Addalock - (1 Piece) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock. PLEASE NOTE: The Genuine Addalock is exclusively sold worldwide only by Rishon Enterprises Inc. [link]
Portable travel door lock. No swapping door handles required, and not too pricey.
1) Order or purchase one of these, immediately. Doubly so since your landlord refuses to change the locks.
2) Go to the apartment appointment. Lock your pets in an area of your current place that doesn't contain his laptop/necessities. They will be fine not having the run of the place for a few hours. If you don't like this plan, take them, and all up to date vaccination records (esp rabies) to a pet day care location. Explain your situation. Tell them you only need a few hours, and that you'll pay whatever they charge you.
3) Sue him for the damages to your car in small claims. Even if you don't have a written document, him telling you he would pay for the repairs at the end is still a verbal contract. Talk to your lawyer (the same one for Ramon[a] situation) and get his input, but IMO this case should be worth the total value of the car, not just damages, because you asked him to maintain the vehicle, and running it into the ground is not "maintaining".
4) PM me if you're in NC. We may be able to figure something out with your pets.
5) Did they already do the repairs? I'm sorry, but I wouldn't have done them. If the car won't be worth $5k when you sell it, it's a lost cause already, and you might as well just buy another cheap car for that price, if you even need it. Since the repairs are done, they will need to be paid. If you don't have the money, can you ask for a moderate payment plan? They may be willing to accommodate.
i'm assuming you can't ask your landlord to change the locks - say you lost a copy of your keys or something?
a quick google search turned up this - [link]
not sure how well it works though
Get one of these to try out, take it on vacation too. [link]
How about something thats designed to keep a door shut regardless of the type of door knob? Maybe something like this?
In that case I have the perfect solution for you. Look into addalock. This thing is incredible as a solution when you're inside your room, but don't close your door from outside because you can't unlock it from there. I promise I'm not an addalock salesman, lol. I saw this a while ago and while it won't work for me, it sounds like what you need.
Try one of these. Addalock
Part of the emergency action plan at the office.
The other part involves spraying (and beating them into submission, or a pulp-whichever comes first) any attackers with a fire extinguisher.
Add-a-Lock is a great product that prevents this sort of thing. Doesn't matter if they have the key, the door doesn't budge.
Even if a door doesn't have a fitted lock, you get extremely strong temporary locks like the Addalock that you can put on a door or remove in a few seconds.
I can recommend an addalock as well. I have noticed that newer versions are a bit thinner than the old ones that I already had. If you buy from a store see if they have any old stock on hand.
I say invest in 2 things: a door wedge and an AddALock device.
If your door has a good latch bolt on it, you don't have to invest in a whole lock. I've discovered an invention called an AddaLock that just fits right in the little slither between the door and door frame. When it's locked in place, it keeps the door from ever opening, regardless of how hard you try to open it. Of course, it's only as strong as the door's wood.
Amazon link - it's small and easy to install, and it really works.
EDIT: You cannot lock a door from the outside with the AddALock. It only works from the inside. Keep that in mind.
I know someone posted a door brace, but this one is a much more portable option that would still do the trick.
It's a portable door lock.
NTA - OP, if the landlord won't let you install real locks, there are portable locks and door jammers you can use. Here's an example: https://www.amazon.com/Addalock-Portable-Travel-AirBNB-Lockdown/dp/B00186URTY
something like this would be better than a door stop
Company's site | Amazon listing
NTA. Change your locks. I understand that may be expensive though, so you could always get a door stopper as a cheaper alternative. That way, as long as you are home, no one can come in.
Here’s a link to one if you are interested:
Or there is also this:
No, YWNBTA. There are some really cheap locks that just slide in-between the door and lock with a chain or something like that.
Ugh. Definitely be careful then. Like seriously, I would suggest ordering those lock things off of Amazon ASAP. It's ballsy to go through someones wallet while they are sleeping right there, so obviously the person has no shame. Make sure you do not keep ANYTHING out that has passwords in it. No diaries. Sleep with your wallet in the bed with you. I would not say a word about it, just install the locks on stuff, and protect your stuff nonchalantly. Also I realize this sounds insane, but if you have credit cards, put a fraud alert on your account. Do not underestimate people. Does your part where your stuff is have a lock on it? you might even talk to the RA about switching rooms just to be safe. I know it'll flame your relationship with your roomies, but you can make new ones and that's some real serious Klepto stuff that will just add way more stress to your life than necessary. If you cannot switch rooms, figure out a way to lock your door. Also, from reading how the locks work in those doors, it looks like you can just open them with the credit card trick, which is REALLY not good. I would for sure figure out a way to lock the door while you are sleeping with one of those bar things that attaches to the door and the floor so that they can't do that and sneak in. It won't help while you are out, but if you lock everything down, they'll move on to your other roommates who presumably have not protected their stuff. Something like this might be good: https://www.amazon.com/Rishon-Enterprises-Inc-I9889-Addalock/dp/B00186URTY?ref_=fsclp_pl_dp_1and this thing while you are IN the room:
If you have a laptop, get something like this for when you aren't taking it with you. https://www.amazon.com/s?k=laptop+lock&ref=nb_sb_noss_2 It's good to have anyways for when you are using it on campus and need to get up and go to the bathroom or get a coffee.
You can get a device that does similar on eBay / Amazon without installing anything.
Here's a cheap lock you can get for your door that doesn't require installation: Amazon Page
This will help with the privacy - [link]
There's a product called "add-a-lock" that might be helpful. It's a portable lock that can be used on any door.
Is the door lock like one of these things?
Maybe this one: [link]
Give this a try, I use it when I travel.
i would immediately buy a removable door lock like this that you can put on your bedroom door when your in there and move to the bathroom door when you shower.
Everyone in an apartment should have one of these.
Wow! This is infuriating. I am already paranoid and I haven't even had a bad apartment experience yet (fingers crossed!).
There are these locks on Amazon that are an addition to the regular locks, something like this:
My landlords also use something like this on the backdoor:
Stay safe everyone!
Maybe you could try an addalock from amazon. I have one for my front door and it works well. When I'm not using it I keep it hanging from a hook by the front door, and after you get used to it it's pretty quick to use. https://www.amazon.com/Rishon-Enterprises-Inc-I9889-Addalock/dp/B00186URTY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1530504979&sr=8-1&keywords=addalock
I got this nifty lock, and I feel a lot safer with it. It’s portable, so you can use it will you travel as well as at home.
Get one of these for your front door. No hardware or drilling is required. I keep one in my laptop bag for when I travel and stay at hotels.
It’d be a good idea to get a padlock in the m anytime for the birds cage.
As for locking your room, you can get temporary/portable door locks like these:
Hope that helps
[link] . Take this everywhere I go
I've used CORT for furniture in the past its slightly used (usually for companies that furnish places and model homes.) I got a whole apartment for like less than 1k last time. Table, dressers, mirror, chairs etc and they delivered. I now live where you can physically go to a store of theirs but previously i didn't. It was nice to feel put together.
Buy bathroom rugs and curtains and if you'd like matching towels at stores like TJ Maxx and ross. They're super affordable.
I used to use this to help keep my door locked when i lived alone, helped me feel a little more secure door lock
Buy basic cooking supplies sometimes you get sets at a great price otherwise a few pots and pans will do, i used to love thrifted dishware and having my plates and cups not match but sometimes target and even walmart has them super super cheap. Also don't be afraid to ask friends if they have any cookware they dont use regularly, i used to gladly put together a box for a friend in your situation.
A colorful rug or just one you like to tie the room together. If you're limited on closet space always look at boxes that slide under beds and shoe organizers over the doors, the pockets are nice to organize stuff.
Vaccuum and basic cleaning supplies as well, buy scents you enjoy.
Buy a comforter and sheets you love, that always made me feel at home at the end of the day.
NTA. Get a portable door lock like this. Great solution for such a situation and nothing needs to be installed.
Addalock - (1 Piece ) The Original Portable Door Lock, Travel Lock, AirBNB Lock, School Lockdown Lock
To add to this, get one of these. It's great for apartment doors as well as a secondary door lock for inner rooms.
NTA, so inappropriate. Might I recommend a sign on the door or a portable travel lock?
This is just one example, first thing that came up when I googled "portable door lock." That being said, I hope it's not necessary and that your housemate starts respecting the fact that you deserve privacy. Huge violation to walk in on someone in the shower and to then continue to do so.
Get a portable door lock wedge and use it every night and ignore them.
Something like this won't need drilling
If you want notification this might help supposedly goes off when wedge is pressed
If you know they can't get in without making a ton of noise that should help you sleep.
These work well, although the door wedge idea is probably cheaper. BUT if she realizes you've wedged it she can potentially stick something under the door to unlodge the wedge.
Could try something more discreet like
Might be helpful to get one of these: [link]
Can you or a friend order one of these to use on your door?
Yes, common law does have a standard of "normal wear and tear". She can install a lock with permission, or if she is prepared to fix any holes and repaint. There are also options that are meant to be minimal/no damage, and intended for renters, like this: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B00186URTY/ref=as_li_ss_tl?kbid=62548&slotNum=2&ie=UTF8&linkCode=gs2&linkId=66ba7aa8edf30b90374e2d2110961673&imprToken=LoXziaollJPO-ADyCnurBw&tag=sa09b4-20
Or one of these: [link]
or just buy the actual product [link]
Could you get something like this so that you can be safe? https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00186URTY/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o09_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 Since you use it on the inside your parents don't have to know.
I hope you will be OK.
I saw this recently on reddit and it would apply here too. It's a lock you can only open from the inside and can easily move to any door.
Get a add a lock [link]
THIS is what I bought, but there are several different kinds out there.
They make different versions of these. I've always wanted to try one
If your still looking, this is up on /r/bestofamazon
This might work. Maybe.