I'll clarify, since I went back and read your other post: I failed multiple degrees at university. It was not an easy ride. I wasn't diagnosed and I felt so much shame around failure as well, like I was just being lazy, and why couldn't I just start things and finish them like everyone else did. I knew I understood it and the brainpower was there, but the control wasn't. I went through all that failure before I remotely understood what was wrong with me or that what I needed was just mercy on myself.
ADHD will impact your life. The shame we've been taught to feel around embracing our inner selves is not easy to unlearn. But I personally don't think anything is a better or more important long term management strategy (meds notwithstanding) than unlearning that shame and embracing our brains, because they're great.
If you have time maybe check out this book: https://www.amazon.com.au/ADHD-2-0-Essential-Strategies-Distraction-ebook/dp/B0871LK27X
I'm sure that psychiatrist has said why in one of his blog posts? But if I read it, I don't remember it. But, he's very open about it. So, if you ask him in the comments on one of his posts, I have no doubt he's share that information with you.
Truth is, the medical and mental health world still doesn't know so much about ADHD for either gender. I've been keeping up on the research and it seems that in these past 5 years, it's exploding and they are shifting their views on it. Unfortunately, the DSM (that they used to diagnose any mental related thing) is rarely updated. They don't update it until they have a ton of updates to do and they feel confident about that information. And even then, many psychiatrists already know that DSM isn't the bible and to trust their own experience and knowledge on it. To give you an idea of how infrequently it has been updated? It was first published in 1952. Since then, it has received only 7 updates. The current version that medical and mental health professionals use to diagnose you? It was published in 2013. And... they had formed their work groups to begin on this version in 2000. It literally took 13 years for them to do the latest revision. Thankfully, the next one actually comes out this month! Unfortunately, there will probably still be many disagreements on its contents by the professionals in the field. Why do I mention all this? So you know the requirements they use to diagnose a person with anything mental related. And how much that can change but the most recent version doesn't reflect that. And most of those professionals just default to those guidelines. It's only if you get someone who truly specializes in ADHD that is up-to-date on the latest research. This also winds back to you wondering why he didn't get diagnosed most of his life. Part of that is because (if I remember correctly) he has the inattentive type. And not until recently did they even realize this could be true for men. And...Even for men, up to recently (and still) there are wrong assumptions about how ADHD presents for them. Partially because we still don't know much about the brain. And partially because these days literally every month a new set of studies have been published that expand our understanding of it.
Ok, I've had way too much coffee. I don't normally type this much.
For his blog? If you scroll down and look to the right, you'll see where it allows you to "Search this site". Meaning if you want to know about something specific, you can search through his blog entries by different key words. He's done an amazing job of tagging each blog post really well. So it should be easy to search through, if you want to.
ttps://www.facebook.com/groups/755891791809258
There is also an actual ADHD Facebook group as well. It's probably the most popular one on FB for ADHD adults. But I've seen that most people use it to vent and look for support. It's not a bad group to be part of, but it depends on what you are looking for in a group. Here is their link: https://www.facebook.com/groups/66596660338
(2) ADHD 2.0 (A book very recently published and available in all formats).
There are a handful of good books on the topic but I would recommend the latest release by a pair of authors who have the condition themselves. They are considered THE leading authorities on the topic. They were the ones that did the groundbreaking work on ADHD decades ago. (Think 1970's!) They ARE the gurus.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0871LK27X/
Ok - I'll stop typing. lol. I totally forget I have to be somewhere today and I'm running way behind! I hope I didn't overwhelm you with all that text. I tend to do that. Good luck. And feel free to ask me anything else. If I know it, I'll share it. If I know where to find your answer, I'll direct you to it. And if I have no clue, I'll be totally honest about that as well. I'm huge in not spreading pseudo science or passing off my opinions as "fact". Good luck!!!!
There are definitely ADHD coaches who specialize in this, as well as therapists who specialize in helping people with ADHD. Lots of great books too like ADHD 2.0 which have good advice. And this recent podcast from neuroscientist Andrew Huberman is all about ADHD.
Yes! Please get a second opinion! It is obvious she is ignorant on the subject of ADHD. Even worse is that she is mentally a very toxic physician to her patients. Everything you described about yourself is actually classic ADHD. Meaning that this should be obvious to any physician or mental health specialist. She was completely unprofessional to you. That sounds like it was an unnecessary cruel experience you should not have had to go through. I am so sorry you went through that. If at all possible, try to see a psychiatrist that specializes in ADHD. I finally did after years of seeing typical doctors and other psychiatrists. It has been mind blowing how different of an experience it is to work with a professional that specializes in ADHD.
And I want to suggest two resources that can help you to learn to cope with your ADHD…
Blog called “ADD Adult Strategies”. He is an author on the topic ADHD. But he doesn't use his blog to sell his books. Doug Puryear is a psychiatrist who has ADHD himself. His blog consists of various tips that he has learned along the way. Often not only tips he uses but also tips he gives to his ADHD patients. Very nice guy and very personable. He's very interactive with his blog and will reply to all comments on his posts. The blog is called "ADD Adult Strategies" but there is nothing inappropriate about the content. My opinion is even those younger than 18 could benefit from his blog. https://addadultstrategies.wordpress.com/
Book called “ADHD 2.0”. There are a handful of good books on the topic but I would recommend the latest release by a pair of authors who have the condition themselves. They are considered THE leading authorities on the topic. They were the ones that did the groundbreaking work on ADHD decades ago. They ARE the experts. They just released an updated version of their older book. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0871LK27X/
I hope all this helps. Don’t stop believing in yourself. And don’t question your instincts that you may have ADHD. You know yourself the best. I hope you continue to trust your own wisdom on this.
This is amazing how proactive you are and that you are trying so hard to make sure you get what you need. This is absolutely fantastic! You should be incredibly proud of yourself. Good luck snd let me know if I can help in any way!