{"product":{"product_id":"B00DE4GWWY","title":"Albanese Confecetionery Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears, 5 Pound Bag","price":null,"image_url":"https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51FcsvxaHKL._SL500_.jpg","url":"https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DE4GWWY"},"comments":[{"body":"My suggestion would be to set up a security camera first.\r\n\r\nEDIT: Also, if you want to set up a sacrificial package for the thieves to steal I suggest getting[ sugar-free gummy bears](https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Flavors-Gluten/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8).","subreddit_name":"findareddit","author":"robotguy4"},{"body":"That's considered intentional poisoning.  It's a bad idea.  \r\n      \r\nGet a big bag of sugar free gummy bears instead.  Fail to hide them.  It's common knowledge they act as a super laxative, but I doubt he'd be able to resist them.\r\n      \r\n[This bag](https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Flavors-Gluten/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8), for instance, has these gems under it:     \r\n      \r\n\u0026gt; Question: Should i try them?       \r\nAnswer: It depends. Do you like painful and explosive diarrhea? If yes then this is the snack for you.       \r\nBy William Scott on January 26, 2015 \r\n      \r\n        \r\n\u0026gt; Question: What exactly is a serving size?        \r\nAnswer: Serving Size is 17 pieces (40g) However, I recommend you first sniff the open bag at a 100 yards safe distance. If your gut doesn't start gurgling and flip flopping you might be safe enough to actually get close enough to remove a gummy bear from the bag making sure to use a face mask, tongs and rubber gloves. If the removal of said bear is successful without any fluid drainage from your lower orifice you might possibly consider licking an ear but please make sure all your final business is in order ie... last will and testament, DNR instructions, burial wishes etc... Seriously Andrew, why test fate?        \r\nBy Kindle Customer on January 31, 2014 \r\n        \r\nAnd for more comedy gold, read the reviews.","subreddit_name":"fatpeoplestories","author":"Veloreyn"},{"body":"Truly an excellent example of modern rhetoric and prose. The writers of tomorrow aren't training in colleges and writing schools\\- no, they're busy writing Amazon reviews about [sugar free gummy bears.](https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Flavors-Gluten/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=1526264244\u0026amp;sr=8-3\u0026amp;keywords=sugar+free+gummy+bears#customerReviews)","subreddit_name":"frugalmalefashion","author":"RiceOnAStick"},{"body":"We're still working on whether artificial sweeteners cause a spike in insulin in humans. At the moment, there isn't solid science to back it up and a lot of it is speculation and anecdotal stories. We've only got tests on flies and mice. Along with that, very little of the sweeteners reach the pancreas and there is no glucose involved with this situation at all. \r\n\r\nThey do make you poop though. [Enjoy if you have yet to partake!](https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Sugar-Free-Flavor/dp/B00DE4GWWY#customerReviews)","subreddit_name":"fatpeoplestories","author":"sexualcatperson"},{"body":"Here is the Link to the Product Listing if anyone is interested in reading the reviews. They are absolutely hilarious! \r\n\r\n[Albanese Candy, Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears, 5-pound Bag](https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=sr_1_4?keywords=sugar+free+gummy+bears\u0026amp;qid=1572520919\u0026amp;sr=8-4)","subreddit_name":"AmazonWTF","author":"tlo_oly"},{"body":"My next order would be this: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00DE4GWWY\r\n\r\nI know it would be $20'ish wasted, but my hope would be after a day of stealing boxes, they open this puppy up and have themselves a nice big handful and relax for a bit.\r\n\r\nEDIT: If you haven't heard of these little delish bears, check out some of the rave reviews! ","subreddit_name":"rage","author":"NickE25U"},{"body":"Sugar-free gummy bears. Read the [Amazon reviews](https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Assorted-Gummi-Bears-Sugar/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?s=grocery\u0026amp;ie=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=1480422374\u0026amp;sr=8-2\u0026amp;keywords=sugar+free+haribo+gummy+bears). Seriously, it's not something you'd want to do if you weren't constipated. It probably will work for you.","subreddit_name":"BabyBumps","author":"rosekayleigh"},{"body":"Have you never heard of the huge bag of sugar-free gummy bears?  I guess amazon doesn't sell Haribo brand in 5-pound bags anymore, but some of the reviews on the Albanese brand are funny.  https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Sugar-Free-Flavor/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=1535324360\u0026amp;sr=8-3\u0026amp;keywords=sugar+free+gummy+bears+haribo+5+pound+bag","subreddit_name":"fatpeoplestories","author":"Kelekona"},{"body":"It could have been worse... the fish could have still been alive. And the dessert could have used that sugar substitute that’s in those [infamous gummy bear reviews](https://smile.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=sugar+free+gummy+bears\u0026amp;qid=1614740882\u0026amp;sprefix=sugar+free+g\u0026amp;sr=8-6).","subreddit_name":"Random_Acts_Of_Amazon","author":"mj054"},{"body":"https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1C833WXRQ06I\u0026amp;dchild=1\u0026amp;keywords=haribo+sugar+free+gummy+bears+5lb\u0026amp;qid=1604962454\u0026amp;refinements=p_89%3AHaribo%2Cp_n_feature_eight_browse-bin%3A2288334011\u0026amp;rnid=2288325011\u0026amp;s=grocery\u0026amp;sprefix=haribo+sugar+free+gummy+bears%2Cgrocery%2C201\u0026amp;sr=1-1","subreddit_name":"politics","author":"Alakith"},{"body":"There’s a type of sweetener used in candy that does this. I know it’s sold on amazon. Because the reviews are hilarious. Might wanna try diarrhea candy in google... also might wanna private search that, come to think of it\r\n\r\nEdit: found it, and the reviews do not [disappoint!](https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY)","subreddit_name":"curb","author":"Owls_yawn"},{"body":"Ya'll should read the reviews on 5lb bag of sugar free gummi bears sometime. Hilarious, horrendous. Anything with Lycasin (aka malitol syrup) as the sweetener will wreak havoc on your guts. I had tears running I was laughing so hard at these reviews:\r\n\r\nhttps://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Assorted-Flavors-Gluten/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8\u0026amp;qid=1513718585\u0026amp;sr=8-2\u0026amp;keywords=five+pound+sugar+free+gummy+bears\r\n\r\n","subreddit_name":"powerlifting","author":"Willie_Mo"},{"body":"[Sugar-free gummy bears.](https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY)  \r\n\r\nStart with 3 a day, then slowly add 1 more a day until you figure out how they effect you.  If you eat more than 20 you're pretty much guaranteed a half day of explosive and painful diarrhea.\r\n\r\nThey're great for work parties!","subreddit_name":"Cooking","author":"LongUsername"},{"body":"Well, it looks like someone at Haribo or Amazon may have done some damage control. If you follow all of the links from various articles to the iconic 'Haribo sugarfree gummy bears' it now links you to '[Albanese Candy, Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears, 5-pound Bag](https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8)'","subreddit_name":"worldnews","author":"CedarWolf"},{"body":"You have not known true pain my sweet summer child, educate yourself, read the reviews, don't try them though, don't make the mistake of thinking it is all just a joke, live in blissful ignorance of what a truely tattered asshole feels like https://www.amazon.com/Albanese-Candy-Sugar-Assorted-5-pound/dp/B00DE4GWWY","subreddit_name":"politics","author":"Jackalopee"}]}